Serious I NEED HELP

GanjaKat

GanjaKat

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hey guys.
As some of you know through various sb conversations or MSN i have been having a bad time in life latley but last night/this morning i have been thinking about things in the big picture and its less of a bad few weeks and more of a totally skrewed up life.

Through out years 6-8 i had fairly good attendance, pretty smart student, did well in all my classes, but had alot of time of school due to depression and the time i was taking off started to becombe a routine. Mid year 9 i moved to my third high school and again had a pretty low attendace, Around this time i started hangin' round with some friends i hadnt seen for a while, going out more, drinking more and the kicker; Smoking weed.

I was havin' a blast for about 7-8 months going to see them. There was about 50 of us on a "dead night" and around 200 on the weekend, it was a great laugh, but little did i know then i was just prepairing to throw my mind away into a hell state. At the end of that afore mentioned 7-8 months i was so high most of the time that i didnt have the energy to get up and attend much school let alone travel like 45 minuite bike ride to see all of them.

Around the start of year 10 i was and comftable enough with other students to start skipping classes with them; when i was at school that is. Again i was just getting high and drinkin' but this time it was alot closer to home. This is roughly the same time that i started a relationship with holly, who i knew through the group of mates i was hangin' with mentioned above. She would to be for the next few following years until now be my last hope of grasping onto sanity.

By mid way through my last year in school i had an attendance rate of 34% and when i did go it was only to meet some people and sneak out of the fire escape. i was still getting stoned daily, skipping classes and just throwing my life away more and more. I was allowed to leave school in december of 06'; 7 months before the school year ended, this was due to my "reduced timetable" which ment i was only in school for around 2hours a day anyway and the fact that my teachers thought i would work better from home. Well the end of school came and i as expected, failed my exams. For the next few months things carried on as normal, go to bed really late, get up mid day, see holly, see some mates, get high, go home, stay up late, and on and on it went.

After about 4-5 months of leaving school and being high all the time i was becoming a paranoid mess and so i stopped smoking it all together for about 6 months to let my head clear. I didnt see any of the people i was getting stoned daily with at all through out this 6 months and put all my time into making my relationship with holly all the more strong. Well after 6 months i felt great in body, mind ectect and so i fuigred it was time i mabie smoked some now and then and saw all my old friends again, it went great for a few months, only spending a £10 every 4-5 days, coz it only took a little ammount to get me high compaired to the £10-£20 a day habbit it was before. So seemingly that was all ok, Holly and I had never been closer, i was in contact with all my friends. everything was good

Fast fowards to now... I am a paranoid, jelouse, mess. My mind has hit a black pit that i cant find a way out of; i spend my days in my room in fear that if i go out i wont be coming home for what ever reason. I have been out of school for 3 years and have still to get a job. I only see about 4-5 people out of all of my friends anymore, im again spending about £20 a day weed, and more if im drinking too. im still sponging money of my mother, which makes me feel lower thanyou can imagine. Because of how messed up i am in the head im slowley pushing holly further and further away and for all this i honestly hate myself. If i lose holly, as mentioned, my last holding block to sanity i dont know what ill do, I cant stop smoking it because it has become more of a dependancy than a bitta fun, and i have practically thrown my life into a hole i cant dig my way out of. On top of that i have a mind like a sive, i cant even remember things that i have done earlier in the day for christ sake.

I am only 18 and am already a mere weak shell of a person, and i cant cope with being like this, i dont know what to do anymore and im hoping someone here has been through any of this shit and can spread some light onto the situation.

Thanx in advance for anyone who posts...
 
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I think you need to ask yourself what you really want out of this time in your life. You are still very, very young, so you don't really need to be focusing too far ahead. But you also seem very immature to me from what I've read, which is almost to be expected. There were a couple of moments where I thought to myself, "what the hell is this guy thinking?" "Is he even thinking at all?"

The main attitude I got from this post was that you were whining about the stuff you'd been doing that got you in this mess in the first place, and now you're looking to other people for a way out of the hole you've dug yourself in. Alright, I'll bite - for a moment. You do admit that you're weak and cannot cope with what you're doing now yet you continue to let the cycle repeat itself. But let's take a look at what you said here:

After about 4-5 months of leaving school and being high all the time i was becoming a paranoid mess and so i stopped smoking it all together for about 6 months to let my head clear. I didnt see any of the people i was getting stoned daily with at all through out this 6 months and put all my time into making my relationship with holly all the more strong. Well after 6 months i felt great in body, mind ectect and so i fuigred it was time i mabie smoked some now and then and saw all my old friends again, it went great for a few months, only spending a £10 every 4-5 days, coz it only took a little ammount to get me high compaired to the £10-£20 a day habbit it was before. So seemingly that was all ok, Holly and I had never been closer, i was in contact with all my friends. everything was good.
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First, you tried to change what you were doing that was previously messing you up. Then, you went and did exactly what got you in that mess in the first place yet again. Is this making any sense or am I wrong in thinking you are being very contradicting? Do you see my point here? You do one thing and then you turn around and do something else that puts you right back where you started. Now, when I posed the first solution, "ask yourself what you really want out of this point in your life," that example is what I was referring to.

You seem to be awfully confused and then turning around and acting like you have no idea why things have turned out the way they have. Not only that, but you then proceed to belittle yourself as a means of self pity for the conscious decisions you've made.

All's I'm saying is you might want to consider sitting down, taking a step back and trying your best to look at things from another perspective. Don't be afraid to ask questions; not just of yourself, but of the people around you, too. You shouldn't immediately assume you're completely fucked or incapable of turning things around. Although it was only for a brief moment in time, you were able to get your head cleared, right? That should be at least one experience of success you might want to branch off of.

Like I said, you're only 18 years old. It's sick to me to see how kids have grown up so fast these days. I may not be all that old myself, but 5 years and befriending people exactly like you only to see them go down the same path really does make a difference.

By the way, if you're wondering how their lives turned out, they're 24 years old and either a) married b) with child/married c) jobless/working a job they absolutely hate d) haven't gone to school d) still do absolutely nothing but sleep, eat, wake up and go to work and then come home to get wasted and smoke weed in order to forget about all of the above.
 
Ganja Cat said:
I cant stop smoking it
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Bullshit. Yes you can. You've already done it once.

And as Bun said, you know that marijuana and alcohol are causing you a lot of, if not all, your problems. So cut them out of your life.

If i lose holly, as mentioned, my last holding block to sanity i dont know what ill do,
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You'll be fine. Don't treat her as your other dependency. It's just as dangerous as your dependency on weed/alcohol. In fact, you might be better off without her for now. Get yourself straight before you have to take on the added responsibility of a relationship.

I know I sound a little harsh with this, but sometimes it's best not to have everything sugar-coated. It sounds like you're letting the alcohol and marijuana control you and your life. That's one of the major signs of addiction. You need to get sober. And I mean fully and completely sober. If you can't do it by yourself, you might want to consider a rehab facility. Maybe extreme, but it's an option.

Anyway, good luck with things. I know how tough these sorts of things can be, and I hope you start turning it around for yourself.
 
Hmm, as little as I've talked to you, I've been near your shoes before, maybe not as dependent for the following you've mentioned but let's just say mental trouble.

I'm going to offer some very vital words. Stop Smoking and don't do it gradually. You have to cut it off, like an amputation. You need to find something worth it in your life, that doesn't consist of humanity. Something to fall back on just in case everything goes screwy.

The problem is you are becoming paranoid. Maybe even social anxiety is kicking in, you are dependent on substance as well. It could be worse with other drugs. You need to take some time for yourself, and focus on something. Holly will be there if she's true. Otherwise you don't need someone holding you back. I hope she's a good girl for you. Your confidence is probably at an all time low with all this as well.

I'm sorry but you used you "green" friend for too long as a crutch. Some people can exist with it, some can not handle it. I'm sorry but bluntly put you can't handle it.

If you need help, just keep talking to us. Sounds like you have a bit of anxiety which might lead to the later parts of depression. It can go down or up hill from this point, but it your decision to try to better yourself.
 
Thanx for what you all have said, today i HAVE started to turn things around, im not going to cut it off "like an amputation" but i am going to rapidly smoke it less and less, and as far as holly goes thats finished, no matter how much i love her she is hurting me to much and as you have said i dont need someone holding me back. Its been going that way for a while now, its not to do with what has been said but i just said today after she started another blazing argument its through indefinitly, im not gunna be "weak" andgo back to her when she misses me this time. I feel it would be better for to to have something not someone to have there as a fallback, coz if its a hobby ect its always there, where as a person will not always be there.

Shu i wanna say thanks to you as you where the most "help", due to as you said, you have been nearing here before you can kind of grasp where im coming from and CC i no you dont mean to be harsh, gotta appresiate some tough love sometimes :) lol

Bun, im going to assume you havnt had any experiances quite to the extent im talking about or you wouldnt have given me the talk about self pitty ect, its not self pitty when you are asking for advice im not here saying "im gunna kill myself if you cant help me" ectect. Ill say the same as i wanna say to CC tho, yes i can admit its the weed thats the problem, but so can alchoholics admit to being addicted, yes its the first step to revovery but its not a walk in the park, i know i just quit before but it was still just something i done thien, as i said its now more of a addiction/dependancy thanx fun, but i am going to stop over the next week or two, and startt everything from new, try and see a bigger range of people, who dont nessisarily smoke it at all, tho im not going to cut them friends out ofmy life but see them less often, and as far as love life goes its a single life for me for a while, just play the field a lil mabie lol.

I still feel just as bad as i did last ngiht but im starting to be able to put a possitive spin on things now.
 
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Ganja Cat said:
hey guys.
As some of you know through various sb conversations or MSN i have been having a bad time in life latley but last night/this morning i have been thinking about things in the big picture and its less of a bad few weeks and more of a totally skrewed up life.

Through out years 6-8 i had fairly good attendance, pretty smart student, did well in all my classes, but had alot of time of school due to depression and the time i was taking off started to becombe a routine. Mid year 9 i moved to my third high school and again had a pretty low attendace, Around this time i started hangin' round with some friends i hadnt seen for a while, going out more, drinking more and the kicker; Smoking weed.

I was havin' a blast for about 7-8 months going to see them. There was about 50 of us on a "dead night" and around 200 on the weekend, it was a great laugh, but little did i know then i was just prepairing to throw my mind away into a hell state. At the end of that afore mentioned 7-8 months i was so high most of the time that i didnt have the energy to get up and attend much school let alone travel like 45 minuite bike ride to see all of them.

Around the start of year 10 i was and comftable enough with other students to start skipping classes with them; when i was at school that is. Again i was just getting high and drinkin' but this time it was alot closer to home. This is roughly the same time that i started a relationship with holly, who i knew through the group of mates i was hangin' with mentioned above. She would to be for the next few following years until now be my last hope of grasping onto sanity.

By mid way through my last year in school i had an attendance rate of 34% and when i did go it was only to meet some people and sneak out of the fire escape. i was still getting stoned daily, skipping classes and just throwing my life away more and more. I was allowed to leave school in december of 06'; 7 months before the school year ended, this was due to my "reduced timetable" which ment i was only in school for around 2hours a day anyway and the fact that my teachers thought i would work better from home. Well the end of school came and i as expected, failed my exams. For the next few months things carried on as normal, go to bed really late, get up mid day, see holly, see some mates, get high, go home, stay up late, and on and on it went.

After about 4-5 months of leaving school and being high all the time i was becoming a paranoid mess and so i stopped smoking it all together for about 6 months to let my head clear. I didnt see any of the people i was getting stoned daily with at all through out this 6 months and put all my time into making my relationship with holly all the more strong. Well after 6 months i felt great in body, mind ectect and so i fuigred it was time i mabie smoked some now and then and saw all my old friends again, it went great for a few months, only spending a £10 every 4-5 days, coz it only took a little ammount to get me high compaired to the £10-£20 a day habbit it was before. So seemingly that was all ok, Holly and I had never been closer, i was in contact with all my friends. everything was good

Fast fowards to now... I am a paranoid, jelouse, mess. My mind has hit a black pit that i cant find a way out of; i spend my days in my room in fear that if i go out i wont be coming home for what ever reason. I have been out of school for 3 years and have still to get a job. I only see about 4-5 people out of all of my friends anymore, im again spending about £20 a day weed, and more if im drinking too. im still sponging money of my mother, which makes me feel lower thanyou can imagine. Because of how messed up i am in the head im slowley pushing holly further and further away and for all this i honestly hate myself. If i lose holly, as mentioned, my last holding block to sanity i dont know what ill do, I cant stop smoking it because it has become more of a dependancy than a bitta fun, and i have practically thrown my life into a hole i cant dig my way out of. On top of that i have a mind like a sive, i cant even remember things that i have done earlier in the day for christ sake.

I am only 18 and am already a mere weak shell of a person, and i cant cope with being like this, i dont know what to do anymore and im hoping someone here has been through any of this shit and can spread some light onto the situation.

Thanx in advance for anyone who posts...
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Stay clear of the blow man. Ive been there and did it, like yourself daily. My attendance in school was shocking and i left the first chance i got.
I got really bad paranoia after smoking hash for a long time. In the end i stopped because unlike when i first tried it it wasnt fun anymore, its a drug that effects people in different ways but paranoia always seems to play a part for most people after prolonged periods.
It sounds to me like you need to prioritise, yer a young dude. Go out and get a college course on something you want to do or get a job that interests you. Im in an apprentiship atm and im loving it.
If you live to 80 yer not gunna look back and cry over stuff that happened 60 years ago. Only you can change yourself, we can only offer advice.
You wont get better if you keep smoking dope, stop that then take it from there.
 
short but sweet lol, thanx lew dude, i wouldnt touch anything more than dope anyways, i dont realli see how people say its a "gateway drug" most the people i know who do coke done it BEFORE they smoked weed, but thats them. Prioritising is a problem as my head is still rather much in a mess but im slowley sorting things out.
 
I really agree with Cassino Chips on this one.

The way I see it you need to start making a change in your life now or you will loose Holly. If you don't want to loose her then you better start working on making that not happen. BUT, you don't need to make her the main focus for you to work out your problems. In the future it may not work out between you 2. (not sure if I completely understand the relationship between you 2)

It seems that you feel bad for mooching off your mom. Why don't you start there? I know how it is to have a drinking problem. Don't know about the smoking because I never have. I do know how hard it is do break an addiction though. It is so worth it in the end though. You'll feel better, look better, and have a better attitude about everything. It will take time. You need to make new some friends too, ones that aren't into getting high and drunk all the time.
 
hmm, it has now occured to me that people are just skimming through and posting lol, i already said i split with holly and that im gunna start seeing a wider range of friends lol. tho still everyones posts have been helpful, thanx.
 
All right Liam, I think I'll try to shine a light on this issue. Admittedly, I've never been in this kind of situation myself. But I do have a good friend that has. My friend is the same age as me, and we've been friends since Elementary School, but we grew up to be very different. He was always one who never had much interest in school. When High School came around (even Junior High), he tended to mix in with the wrong crowd and started smoking weed (even before cigarrette's, which is interesting). I was always the type to look out for him and I would tend to get "fatherly" with him and try to guide him and stop him from doing wrong things and such. Never did it work, he continued his ways. Eventually he was just going to school just to socialize, never took class seriously and failed. Eventually he dropped out.

Honestly, I stopped trying to stop him, because I wasn't enough of an influence. If ever he wants to stop, he has to discover that for himself. Just like with any wrong doing, a person won't stop until they get enough of a scare from it to make them realize they should stop. I'll be totally honest with you, I'm 100% clean, and I've never drank in my life, but I would never stop a person from doing such things. He made his choice and I have to learn to accept that. When he was stoned, there was honestly no difference with him, he's already a very calm person, so he really couldn't get more low, lol. I've never seen him plastered drunk, but I almost certain that he isn't much different with booze in his system either.

You mentioned that you don't remember anything that happens, even if it happened that day. This is true for my friend as well, he has no memory what so ever, unless it's something he's really interested in. Another thing I notice with him, and pretty much every stoner is that they tend to get stuck. Basically, they make no effort to improve their life, they have no immediate issue with how their life is going and they just live day by day. This is really the only bad thing I see about being a stoner. Even to this day, he makes chump change for a job, but never made an effort to get an education or pick up a trade to at least improve his pay. Education really isn't his style, but maybe training in something like a warehouse job or construction will get him what he needs financially to secure his future more. But if someone is satisfied with their the look of their more immediate future, then who am I to judge? So long as he's working, I'll always respect that, no matter how well he does for himself.

As for drinking, I suppose I really can't give much input there. A shockingly high percentage of people drink in my experience, to the point where I'm almost completely alienated for not being a drinker. I honestly think that the drinking is worse than the smoking. The possibility for bad things to happen is much higher with booze than with weed. I could go into a debate about drinking being worse than booze, and how weed should be legal and booze shouldn't be, but I'll stay with the topic. I guess all I can say about it is, take all safety precautions when you do decide to drink. Don't drive naturally, do it somewhere that you're comfortable (basically not in a random place with people you don't know), and do it in moderation. Getting shit-faced every night is something that will make you dependent and really put you into a bad place. If you do tend to drink a lot, then maybe cut the drunken acts down to like once a week or something. If you can go longer, even better.

Ahh, now the wildcard in this discussion, you're girlfriend. I'm gonna treat this part as if weed and booze have nothing to do with it. If weed and/or booze has something to do with it, then maybe it's because you're doing them too much. Because you met her by these social events, then that's probably not the case. You've mentioned that you think she's cheating on you. Well, you can always pay this matter a little extra attention. There is a thread in this section of the forum somewhere about figuring out if their cheating. I commented on that thread multiple times, as I've been cheated on myself, so I know of a few things to look for. And a few others had some good words of advice as well. I'd say you give that thread a browse when you get a chance. Basically if seen some changes in her attitude towards you, then you might be on to her. But as CC said, you'll be fine if you do lose her. Hell, if she is cheating on you, then you know you can do better than her. It may make you feel like shit now, but I promise you that you'll get over it in time and you'll move on with no regrets.

Anyways, I probably BS'd enough, and it may or may not be helpful to you. I mentioned my friend for most of it, but hopefully you'll see where I'm coming from on that and be able to figure something out for yourself, based on his experience. But take care of yourself Liam and best of luck on everything!
 
Actually, that was a big help dan lol. It would seem your friend and i are a hell of alot alot, and yeah motivation is a big problem i just dontcare most of the time, and im also starting to realise that thats a part of the problem, i cba to do anyhting so i just sit at home and get high, thus making me more paranoid ectect =/
 
Ganja Cat said:
Actually, that was a big help dan lol. It would seem your friend and i are a hell of alot alot, and yeah motivation is a big problem i just dontcare most of the time, and im also starting to realise that thats a part of the problem, i cba to do anyhting so i just sit at home and get high, thus making me more paranoid ectect =/
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Well you know what your problem is so do someting about it. If thats your daily routine then your never gonna feel better. Go out etc make use of your time, get a job/go to college. What have you got to lose?
 
Ganja Cat said:
Bun, im going to assume you havnt had any experiances quite to the extent im talking about or you wouldnt have given me the talk about self pitty ect
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You're right, I have not been in your particular situation, but that's because I watched everyone around me do it themselves. Sometimes people learn from others mistakes (which I did; wasn't exactly all that anxious to "learn the hard way") and some people have to go through the shit storm and hit rock bottom before they get some sense knocked into their thick skulls.

its not self pitty when you are asking for advice im not here saying "im gunna kill myself if you cant help me" ectect. Ill say the same as i wanna say to CC tho, yes i can admit its the weed thats the problem, but so can alchoholics admit to being addicted, yes its the first step to revovery but its not a walk in the park, i know i just quit before but it was still just something i done thien, as i said its now more of a addiction/dependancy thanx fun, but i am going to stop over the next week or two, and startt everything from new, try and see a bigger range of people, who dont nessisarily smoke it at all, tho im not going to cut them friends out ofmy life but see them less often, and as far as love life goes its a single life for me for a while, just play the field a lil mabie lol.
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When did I ever say you were going to kill yourself? Perhaps you ought to take a second look and rethink your decision to put words into my mouth. When I say self pity, I mean exactly what you're doing right there. You know what you're capable of. You know you're able to quit doing the bad things that fuck you up, so why do you keep doing them? And why do you need to wonder why things are so fucked up? Isn't it obvious?

Look, I'm not trying to belittle you or anything. I'm just trying to give you a little perspective here. You wanted opinions and advice and you got it. This is just how I view your situation with a little second-hand insight from people who were very close in my life.

I don't necessarily have to have experienced something to understand it (not saying this goes for everything). By that I mean care about the situation you're in now. Technically, I understand at least the basics. Perhaps your life now is a little more complicated than it seems, but I can only take so much from a post on a forum.

I've never been someone who has an addictive personality; nor have I ever been needy or dependent on others. I've always taken care of myself and I resent people because of it, so really I'm at the opposite end of the spectrum than you are. I don't have these issues because I've seen what happens as a result and I steer clear of them. This is just one set of advice you can take or leave, whether it suits what you want to hear or not.

I am going to say, however, that you cannot be subjective when it comes down to the wire. If you're begging for it, you should take what you can get. But there's also one thing you need to remember: you're still in control of that information. You've got the power to choose what to do with it.
 
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i didnt say you had said that, so if you would like to read it, i ment im only asking for advice, thats not self pity, its not as if im saying"im gunna kill myself for these reasons but want attention anyway" ectect. again im merly asking for advice
 
Yeah, yeah, I know what you're saying. I just think you're being a little whiny about getting it, for some reason. Well, I've already given my two cents. If you can pull yourself out of this mess, great. If not, that sucks.
 
I'm going to try my best here, but I feel most has already been said, and I have no drug-related experience in my life to speak of.

Ganja Cat said:
I still feel just as bad as i did last ngiht but im starting to be able to put a possitive spin on things now.
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That is a pretty good development. Being able to see that there may be a chance for you is a vital first step in preparing you mentally to sort this problem out.

Ganja Cat said:
It would seem your friend and i are a hell of alot alot, and yeah motivation is a big problem i just dontcare most of the time, and im also starting to realise that thats a part of the problem, i cba to do anyhting so i just sit at home and get high, thus making me more paranoid ectect =/
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You are right, that is a massive part of the problem. Once you stop caring and count yourself as screwed or beyond all hope, for whatever reason (drug related or not), it's not long before you start, or continue, falling into a downward spiral of self defeat.
It is hard to lift yourself out once you get yourself into that attitude. I'm there myself (completely different circumstances and causes) in many respects so I know the damage that attitude can do.

Basically do not give up on yourself. Keep strong in that you will break yourself out of it eventually if you fight for it.

Cutting down the amount of times you take it may be a step, but you have to decide whether that will truly help, or whether you will just pick it up as usual again within a few months. Like you stated in your posts you gave it up for a while, then eventually began to start again in little stages, but that that just turned back nasty and frequent again. You have to decide if this time will be different or not, and it might be hard but it might be best to try losing it altogether as opposed to dropping it in stages, but that is up to you to decide based on your own knowledge of how easy this stuff takes you over. I'm just saying they don't call stopping a struggle for nothing, it'll be hard, especially when you say you are dependant on them.

Some people I know can take drugs recreationally and not feel dependant or any noticable negative side effects, are sensible (as far as you can be with them) and are able to have relatively normal lives.. However like Shu said people are affected in different ways and these people might just be lucky. For you, it obviously seems like they are taking over you and that you have a pretty serious problem with them.

Anyway, you realise it is a problem and want to get help, which I'd take as a step forward. Most of the help will probably have to come within, and you will have to fight your own urges in order to break this. It'll take a lot of courage and probably pain you as well.

Alternatively, if you feel you are completely losing control and haven't the strength to go on with it you should consider (and this is another big step I know) seeking external help. But they will probably come up with stategies and advice to help you deal with and combat this issue, and still it will take a lot of work internally as well to help deal with it.

I also agree with Lew. Have a look at what you might be able to do college wise, apprenticeship wise or job wise. Try and plan your life and think about what you enjoy or want to be and set yourself goals. I know you like tattoos and want to do your own tattoos one day.. Maybe a college course in art or something might help you down that path? It might help sell yourself to tattoo parlours wanting to hire people. There is the apprenticeship route for that as well, which I think it actually recquires (not sure though, but I know you do), but I think you said it was rather difficult getting it where you are now, so perhaps something else behind you can't hurt your employability and will give you something else to do that you may enjoy.

Not sure, but anyway thinking ahead like this is always good and might at least help to take the focus away from the trouble you are having and on what you want to achieve.


Anyway, I can't say much more without waffling and, like I said, I have no personal drug experience to speak of. I just want to say that your second and following posts were far more possitive and you seem to be in the mindset to sort yourself out a bit more, and sorting out your mindset is a crucial step in sorting out any personal problems, even thought it is made incredibly difficult under drug circumstances I am sure.
 
again, it was a pretty big help, i can see how sorting things , or at least thinking about things future wise can help, and yes i have a pretty addictive personality, so i think rapidly weeningit away apposed to cut stopping is a better idea lol
 
Ganga Cat said:
hmm, it has now occured to me that people are just skimming through and posting lol, i already said i split with holly and that im gunna start seeing a wider range of friends lol. tho still everyones posts have been helpful, thanx.
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Well you said that you would make these changes like an hour after you made this thread. It's easy to say that you will change your life but it takes a while to actually do it.

Anyway, I know this has been said by pretty much everyone but I'm going to say it again: stop smoking weed! Personally I wouldn't recommend trying to ease off it over a few weeks as I think it will be harder for you to eventually cut it out entirely. But you've already said that you are going to do it this way...

I'd recommend you just stop right away (like Shu suggested). From your post it seems like you think Weed is the main source of trouble in your life. So what is the point in continuing to smoke it (even if you do cut it down)?

As Lew and Argor said, I think you should try doing a course/apprenticeship or something along those lines, something that really interests you. You say that you lack motivation and shit, well finding something that you want to do will (hopefully) fix that.

As for paranoia and depression/anxiety in general, I'd recommend exercise. Not just playing football in the park or going for a walk though. I mean exhausting yourself to the point where you just can't go on any more. This is good for a few reasons, firstly there is the obvious reason I.E Fitness. Secondly there is the point that exercise is a good way to build more confidence (which is beneficial for numerous reasons) and thirdly; exercising to the point of exhaustion is a good way to distract your mind from any paranoia/anxiety/depression you may have. Make it a habit to go for a jog everyday.

But I think the first step is to stop smoking weed. It is hard but possible. Like I said before, I think you should just stop smoking it entirely rather than trying to cut it down, but that is ultimately your choice. However, I would recommend that you try to stop thinking about weed and having a name like "Ganga Cat" probably isn't helping you do this :monster:
 
:ness:

Meh... =X First of all I wanna say that I'm worried. You're a friend of mine here on FFF, and I worry about friends. CC basically read my mind as in what I wanted to say, although I have one different view on it... But I'll give you my own two cents.

As some of you may know, I don't do any drugs or alcohol, and there's a reason for that, BUT...

Liam, you are able to stop doing what you're doing. No matter if you have a strong will, a weak one, or a none caring one, and "don't seem to give a shit anymore". I think alot of people who are so far into this, wish they had something better to do, than to just sit inside, smoke and become paranoid.

Good. Holly. VERY good. You don't want to lose her, you said so yourself you keep pushing her away. SURE you don't need her, and you should find something that isn´t human, to fall back on, but for now, this is a start. You should be greatfull that you have her, and that she´s still there for you even though you´re going through this state.

This might be something that can help you pull out of it, if not for yourself, for the people you love. I´m sure your mom will still love you as much, and if you have a good girlfriend she´d love you no matter how fucked up you got in your head, but it´s just something that... Can give you reason to change. You want to change how you're living your life right now, but keep falling back. Try it for the people that care about you.

Prove yourself, not only to yourself, but to them as well. I know you can do it, Liam.

I dropped out of school to, mind you, not cause of the drugs. I have a degree, that I got with alot of effort, when I started school again for a year, but than after that I never went back.

It's not school you should be worried about, but the state you're in. Which you obviously are worried about.

Go out by yourself once in a while during the day. No one else, and just walk around a park or something, and sit down for a while, with no smoke or drink in your head. Or take your girlfriend along, and just talk to her. She might even be able to help you. Talk, just try talking, really is the best thing to do. If you're longing for a drink or a smoke, go sit with your mom and talk to her if needed, but don't go grab your drink.

You don't even have to talk to them about what's wrong, if you're about to grab a smoke or drink, just sit down and start a random convo. That keeps you FROM doing what you were originally going to do.


Meeeeh. Liam, you're a nice guy, and I don't think you're all that fucked up with your drinking and smoking. If you wanna change the way you live your life at the moment, I believe that, and I also believe you can do it.

It will be hard to make some changes, but I'm sure it will be worth the struggle.

All in all though, take care of yourself.

Okay?
 
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