Original think this is a good idea 4 a story?

[Captain Squee]

i want to know if i should actually start writing this story

basic storyline is a boy and a girl are in love, but something happens to the boy, he somehow gets trapped in hell, literally, and he has to fight his way out just so he can see the girl again, facing all sorts of fiends, demons, succubi, and other evil creatures, and needing to face the devil himself in order to ressurect. while being trapped in hell he acquires powers of a special darkness, a darkness that illuminates (contradictary i know) that he needs to use to be able to fight thru the 15 circles of hell. he will be trapped in hell for nearly a year.

thats basically it, and im not sure to give the boy a happy ending or a sad ending either, happy would satisfy the reader better but sad would add to dramatic effect.

constructive critisism plz!!!!

 

[DarkSquall]

Actually, that will be pretty interesting. I actually enjoyed the intro and I would love to see the whole story. If it was a manga I believe it will be a big hit!

 

[Dionysos]

I think a fairy tale happy ending probably wouldn't suit this story, as it is intended to be very dark.

I wouldn't go with complete gloom either, so the ending should feel like something has been achieved, but at a price.

I don't know. Perhaps he gets back to see the girl, but is eternally bound to darkness, or in the act of breaking the surface he ages rapidly. Or perhaps the girl had moved on and got a husband, but he is just happy that he saw her again anyway.

I think you should go for it though. If you feel something coming along, let it out.

 

[DarkSquall]

I wouldn't go with complete gloom either, so the ending should feel like something has been achieved, but at a price.

Nah, that would be boring. It's like a re-write for Braveheart >_>

I would say, if you can leave the ends opened then it would be a great idea, but not the best. I mean to leave the final battle and the winner for the readers to decide.

 

[Captain Squee]

wow so u really like? i was iffy about it at first but both of u just gave me a boost of confidence, thnks

and from what ds said, leaving the end up to reader may not be so bad, i could hint to lucifer winning but also hint to the boy winning cuz ima good writer like that lol

 

[DarkSquall]

Good luck with that story man. As soos as you finish, PM me

 

[Captain Squee]

oh i dont finish stories for long time lol, i put too much effort in it, last story nearly took a year so dont be expecting it soon and i may post randome parts in this thread (yes in chronological order) for more constructive critisism lol

 

[Captain Squee]

what if i made the ending where due to his experience in hell he comes back to earth as a demon and so he ends up not facing the girl?

just a thaught

 

[Amizon]

what if i made the ending where due to his experience in hell he comes back to earth as a demon and so he ends up not facing the girl?

just a thaught

An interesting concept. I'm intrigued already. Add a few twists and turns (some of which you don't tell us), then maybe this could be quite the story.

 

[DarkSquall]

what if i made the ending where due to his experience in hell he comes back to earth as a demon and so he ends up not facing the girl?

just a thaught

Surprise us! Your story may actually be the 1st story I read on FFF. Goddammit, it may turn to a movie! You know, ppl love the surprising element, but don't use it too much ;cause ppl will get sick of it later.

About the story taking a long time to finish, I find that amazing that you want to concetrate on your story that much and who know...You may become the next J.K.Rowling...The male version

 

[Amizon]

Hmm, I also just thought of something else. Whenever I write something, sometimes it revolves around a particular theme (or themes happening at the same time). I could already sense there might be themes of soul searching, hell itself and so on.

 

[Captain Squee]

You may become the next J.K.Rowling...The male version

if u say so, i dont think i could be that good, u know i am only 17! but thanz that is a good ego boost, i just started on it and im still not sure as to the ending but i will know when the the end comes what to put.

i will post in this thread with scenes when i finish a good length

About the story taking a long time to finish, I find that amazing that you want to concetrate on your story that much

its the only way to assure it comes out good lol

Hmm, I also just thought of something else. Whenever I write something, sometimes it revolves around a particular theme (or themes happening at the same time). I could already sense there might be themes of soul searching, hell itself and so on.

well dont all storues have themes? i gyess the central theme i had in my head when i first thaught it up was separation...



thnz all

 

[Wras]

Themes are immensely important in every story, but if you consciously focus on theme while writing you'll detract from the point you want to tell.

As for your idea, always remember it's not what you're writing, but how you write it. Nothing is "original" anymore, but people don't read it for something original and you shouldn't try to twist your story just to say 'hey, this is original'. If you want it to be interesting and full of twists and keep it so the reader will want to be engaged, that's fine. Boy goes to hell, has to fight his way through to see the girl he's in love with. Alright, that's as good a plot as any, and people will read it because it's about:
-Love
-Surpassing all odds and even going through hell itself (lot of real life parallels) just to be together
-Facing your demons

You'll need to have the circles of hell be personal to the protagonist. What he experiences has to have some meaning to his own life and his own problems. Also, you'll have to bring the girl into this instead of just introducing her at the beginning and making the whole story about the boy. You have, until the moment he's dragged into hell, to prove that she's actually worth going through hell for.

But if you're going to keep your story all about him, and in hell, it needs to change him. You need to think about what kind of person he's going to be and how he's going to change from who he is in the beginning and who he is at the end. If he's gaining this power just to meet her, and becomes demonic, and is unable to see her, that's pretty good, but there needs to be a reason for it.

Hell, itself, can't be involved. Like (this is just me personally) I don't see why Lucifer himself would take an interest in a random boy in love, unless Lucifer is just trying to illuminate him to a fact like 'there is no love' or is just showing that he's evil, so you need to give a reason that he's an antagonist, something he embodies.

This may sound like a lot, but thinking about these parts of the story are always the most fun for me. Brainstorm and write down every idea. There's plenty of literature about hell and lots of stories to base yours on so you'll never run dry of inspiration and help. Wikipedia would be good for this.

Having said all that, good luck!

 

[Captain Squee]

well making the girl "good enough to thru hell for" would be an impossable task as its all a matter of perspective, some would think so and some would disagree, everyone has their own oppinion and likes different things.

also, its not that HE has to go thru lucifer, its that ANYONE WHO WANTS OUT OF HELL has to go thru lucifer

thats all i got to say to that tho, the rest of ur post was a givin