The right one?

Daw

Daw

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Hey all, this is on relationships, courtship, and marriage.

Just wanna know: how so you define your "right one"? When you met someone that is "right"? or when you think you are well financed enough? or when you are just ready for the commitment? Or perhaps its just the right moment? Or maybe you met the right one, but the wrong moment?
 
Well for me, the way that I knew that my boyfriend was the right one was that we could be friends and lovers at the same time. We both love anime, video games, and we enjoy the same TV shows (wow we sound like nerds XD). We also have very simular goals in life. Are values and beliefs are simular, so we never have heated arguments over religion and politics. And in the end, we get along.

Also we have been in a relationship for seven years and haven't gotten sick of each other. But I wouldn't recommend that XD

I guess my biggest recommendation would be to find someone that can be your friend as well as your lover. And make sure your goals are simular.
 
Rydia said:
I guess my biggest recommendation would be to find someone that can be your friend as well as your lover. And make sure your goals are simular.
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Exactly this. Whoever said "opposites attract" in terms of relationships must have been completely out of it. If you're going to spend the rest of your life with someone, it should definitely be someone who's your friend, ideally your best friend, and whom you can trust beyond any doubt, even if the circumstances look suspicious. And the more you have in common with them, the better.
 
I agree with Rydia.


Having your partner as not just a lover, but as a friend as well is probably what would make it last.

I think the 'Right' one is just someone who loves you and you love them back that even though you argue sometimes, you always are there for each other and can move on.

Of course similar interests are probably an important aspect of that too. If you're not on the same page chances are, you'll be off doing your own thing and grow apart naturally because of that.

I don't wanna go into a long spiel, so i'll leave it at that.
 
Rydia said:
Well for me, the way that I knew that my boyfriend was the right one was that we could be friends and lovers at the same time. We both love anime, video games, and we enjoy the same TV shows (wow we sound like nerds XD). We also have very simular goals in life. Are values and beliefs are simular, so we never have heated arguments over religion and politics. And in the end, we get along.

Also we have been in a relationship for seven years and haven't gotten sick of each other. But I wouldn't recommend that XD

I guess my biggest recommendation would be to find someone that can be your friend as well as your lover. And make sure your goals are simular.
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Wow.. 7 years are long period indeed. I agree that if there are not much of a clash between 2 person, dating long term is pretty alright. I have a church mate of mine dating another church mate for 4 years+ now and they have known since primary school (like since 9yrs old). I heard people saying that dating's best not exceed 3 years. I have heard people say that dating is alright as long as the targets and visions are right as well.
 
I'd say my boyfriend is my best friend, yeah. We started off as these two people who were the biggest e-flirts on his forum and planned on meeting up for like.. 5 months before it finally happened. Then after a lot of back and forth, we've managed to stay together for 2 and a half years, still working on permanent residence an all that.

Something else I think you should keep in mind is allowing your partner to see you at your absolute worst. My guy stayed with me while I had knee surgery and he was there to help me out of bed and to the bathroom, allowed me to boss him around when he made my meals, allowed me to yell at him when he did something wrong (or rather not my way)... I felt so vulnerable and completely useless not being able to do anything for nearly 3-4 months. And he saw me through all of that and stuck by me. It was annoying for him, sure... and we'll have to do it again sometime for my second surgery, but this time we know what to expect.

You have to be vulnerable and unafraid to let them see the real you, flaws and all.
 
DeadFantasy said:
Of course similar interests are probably an important aspect of that too. If you're not on the same page chances are, you'll be off doing your own thing and grow apart naturally because of that.
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Agreed with you DeadFantasy. I don't mind opinions coming in though. As long as it doesn't start a rude fight. =p Interests which i think affects quite a lot among couples, the way both relates with one another and stuff.
 
I believe my significant other would be a woman who has my complete trust as well as having her trusting in me. Sure doubts may come once in a while, but without honesty, respect and dedication, the relationship is bound to share the same fate as the Titanic: when the first problem arrives it will sink by the most stupid reason. Because, as Matthew 16:26 says: For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? In this case, if he loses his heart and a void its left in its place?

I want someone who is not afraid of sharing her goals and visions while also sharing mine. I know it's hard to show our flaws, but when you truly love that someone, then you can accept them with both flaws and virtues. Anyone who doesn't and just stays for your virtues is a complete hypocrite...:jtc:
 
Channy said:
I'd say my boyfriend is my best friend, yeah. We started off as these two people who were the biggest e-flirts on his forum and planned on meeting up for like.. 5 months before it finally happened. Then after a lot of back and forth, we've managed to stay together for 2 and a half years, still working on permanent residence an all that.

Something else I think you should keep in mind is allowing your partner to see you at your absolute worst. My guy stayed with me while I had knee surgery and he was there to help me out of bed and to the bathroom, allowed me to boss him around when he made my meals, allowed me to yell at him when he did something wrong (or rather not my way)... I felt so vulnerable and completely useless not being able to do anything for nearly 3-4 months. And he saw me through all of that and stuck by me. It was annoying for him, sure... and we'll have to do it again sometime for my second surgery, but this time we know what to expect.

You have to be vulnerable and unafraid to let them see the real you, flaws and all.
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True Channy.. i believe the best policy is still being really willing to sacrifice for one another (esp from the male side), and not run away from things.
 
Oh I'm making him sacrifice a lot. :monster:

Unless absolutely necessary it's not gonna work out otherwise, I'm making him move to my country. ;D
 
Cole said:
I believe my significant other would be a woman who has my complete trust as well as having her trusting in me. Sure doubts may come once in a while, but without honesty, respect and dedication, the relationship is bound to share the same fate as the Titanic: when the first problem arrives it will sink by the most stupid reason. Because, as Matthew 16:26 says: For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? In this case, if he loses his heart and a void its left in its place?

I want someone who is not afraid of sharing her goals and visions while also sharing mine. I know it's hard to show our flaws, but when you truly love that someone, then you can accept them with both flaws and virtues. Anyone who doesn't and just stays for your virtues is a complete hypocrite...:jtc:
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Your right Cole.. I believe it takes time to learn to appreciate the flaws not just the virtues. Everyone does have their imperfections to deal with though.

Channy said:
Oh I'm making him sacrifice a lot. :monster:

Unless absolutely necessary it's not gonna work out otherwise, I'm making him move to my country. ;D
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oh ok..where does he stay Channy? and you stay in Canada? (saw the word below your avatar..lol)
 
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We're both in Canada atm, but he needs to go back home (England) in two months until another Visa is sorted.
 
Well, I'm 27 and still haven't found "the one" yet, but I think I have a good idea of what may need to be found in order to find them. I put a huge stock in compatibility. Some may say opposites attract, and in some cases, depending on personalities, that may indeed be the case. But I think for most, there has to be plenty of common ground to make it work. Couples will disagree on things, and there will be fights, so that's not a worry unless it happens too much (like every day). But I think its important that the 2 personalities mesh together well.

I find love to be a very important factor. This is usually where relationships have misinterpretation issues, in that the couple will experience something that they think is love, but isn't. Then they end up having major problem when they do decide to spend their lives together. I think that love connection that comes natural in successful relationships is very important when finding "the one". But finding this and, more importantly, understanding it are not so easy.

Being able to live together is important as well. Sometimes 2 people can get along really well, but then when they live together, habits clash in a big way. A clean person and a dirty person won't last long. Being a clean person, I'd have a real problem with a girl who didn't at least pick-up after herself. Sometimes personalities work well together and feelings are strong, but living together is the x-factor.

Managing to find someone who can fulfill all 3 of these criteria is really really hard. Even finding a person to fulfill 1 can be very difficult. But when you do find that person, you'll be the happiest person in the world. :ryan:
 
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