Serious The Ex Factor

[Channizard]

Glanced around and didn't see a thread like this one.

This is just a general 'Ex' thread. How did it end? How long were you together for? Was it good? Or did the bad times outweigh the good, and it made it all the more easy to finish things off? Were you the dumper, or the dumpee? Was it easy on you? Are you two still in touch? Are you friends? Do you even believe in the whole "friends after going out/sleeping together" thing? And how are they doing these days?

You don't need to answer point by point, but y'know... just take a minute to think about all these questions and answer as many as you can without it being all tl;dr... but wait, no tl;dr in a Channy thread?

Like that'll happen.

Anyway my last ex, we were together for almost 2 years over long distance. We met twice, and he was my first for everything.. first boyfriend, first kiss, first...-ahem- time.. We were inseparable. But after a year and a half together, shortly after he went home for the second time, I got to thinking... My family and friends were kinda skeptical about him (He was, holy crap Goth Wiccan to the extreme), he was overtly clingy for a guy who was supposedly so 'scary' and hardcore... and it was just... odd. I can't explain it.

We broke up because I was going to England, and I didn't want the long distance to be even longer.. so I broke it off... plus, if something happened there, I didn't want to be a cheater. And in the end, something did happen with somebody else (my current bf). But for the whole time I was there, my ex somehow managed to stalk me... myspace, facebook, calling my british cell (when I don't recall giving the number to him), always asking what's wrong, what's going on, and ultimately, when we're getting back together.

When I went home, he instantly thought we were going to get back together again. I was on a break with my bf at the time, but still didn't want my ex. It finally took a few last messages to drill it into him that we weren't going to be together again. After that, then he started with the slew of name calling, just because he could... calling me a whore, a cheater, a slut, sleep with anything I want... all because I was choosing this other guy, over him.

Even still on facebook some nights he sends me a random message about my whoriness, which... yahokay, I've been with my current bf for 2+ years, but I'm a real slut. He's married now to some (super duper not even kidding) fat chick (he really liked big girls, and urged me to put on weight and make me fatter, ugh) who's pregnant. I think they've only been together a year and a half, and then got married after 6 months, and now have a kid. He continues to berate me for no reason other than his own insecurities to try and take me down a peg, but really.. he's hilarious.

 

[Dr. Percival Cox]

This would be difficult question for me to answer seeing as how none of my relationships have lasted longer than a few weeks at the most. I never really held any negative feelings towards them. But that's probably due to how I used to be. I used to be very clingy and jealous. I would lash and call them out on paranoid hunches. I was very stupid and insecure back then. It's been about two years since my last girlfriend and I haven't heard jack shit from her. But, I treated her pretty badly so I don't even somewhat blame her. If I could talk to her, I'd definetly apologize to her and probably try to fix the bridge. I'm not saying that I'd try and get back together with her but I would try to make sure that we were back on good terms.

I remember my first girlfriend. We barely dated a week. Of course, since she was my first and I was young, I took to resenting her despite her trying to be my friend. Looking back on that, I would say that I was being a complete prick.

There weren't really and bad times in any of my relationships except for the ones that I created. But, I feel that I've grown alot since then and I could probably be pretty mature with a girl. I did enjoy the times I had with them. Though I wish I didn't, I do find myself looking back and smiling when I think of the fun times we had. It makes me feel bad sometimes. But, there's no choice to move forward. There aren't currently any time machines so there's not like I can do anything about what happened. So, I TRY not to think about it. Though, in moments of deep thought and sometimes (though this is a rare feeling for me) loneliness, I find that those memories bring me a little bit of relief, yet alot of grief.

 

[Testra]

Well my latest relationship that came to an end about three weeks ago wasnt actually planned it came to an end due to her mother getting involved after my ex went home drunk and told her mother what we had done together and that we had smoked weed (I know it wasnt the best thing to do). The good times where really good as it was the first time in a while that I've had someone to share my secrets etc. with and also someone to hold my hand etc.

 

[SapphireStar]

My last is still the worst as I do still love him, but Im with someone else now. So its difficult. We broke up cause of my paranoia, his depression and unemployment. I dont know whats going on with us, he wants to be friends, but cant cause Im with someone new. We worked together gor bout year before we started dating, broke up on year aniversary last year.

The worst after that was the 3 year one. Id never been cheated on and he left me for Shamu, I call her that. Hes still with her and its been over 4 years. But last time I spoke to him his words were "My life has been shit since we broke up. My parents are divorced, mums got her girlfriend living at home, dads remarried, the dog died, bros still a junkie, I have no job or home, so sleeping on girlfriends couch ..." THANK YOU KARMA!!!

 

[Sepalcure]

Well my ex of like, I'd say a year now was puuuuuurely long-distance. As a matter of fact it was pretty damn serious, his whole immediate family knew about me. He was really sweet, we talked through mics and used webcams to pull goofy faces at each other and stuff. Very kindergarten, 'oh my god pass my the barf bag NOW' sort of cute. He was really great and we wanted to meet but between me starting college and him still being in high school and then being soooo far away (I mean, Poland, really? What was I thinking? What was he thinking?) it was just irrational.

I mean yes, in hindsight, I was going to visit Europe with my family but I highly doubt they'd seriously consider stopping in Poland to go meet this boy. So I ended all contacts with him and we're no longer in speaking terms. It hurts an incredible amount, only because I told him everything. He was the guy I solely confided in, moreso than I did with my very first bf. But I did the break up in his best interest, selflessly, still it didn't stop him from reacting angrily and almost cursing out my friends. Yeah . . . he was pissed but I'm sure he's over it now and who knows . . . he might have found someone worthier of him.

So, I don't regret doing what I did. Was it hard? Yes, immensely. I almost wanted to scream and cry and when I was done, I kept crying like an idiot. I mean I threw away a potentially ridiculously sweet and protective guy for . . . single womanhood. But looking back on it, as I said, it was for the best. The distance would've torn us apart eventually unless he would've been able to wait and wait and wait.

My very first ex was a total douche, excuse my French. He used me and just yeah . . . even admitted that he was just using me because I was physically attractive. I mean how much bigger of a jerk can you get than that? He used tot tell me how he got girls to do . . . well you know to him and how he wasn't sure if he should pick this girl over another one. Thankfully, by the graces of God, he's settled down with some girl now. He's happy, I'm content, and we no longer talk at all. Even though, oddly enough our lockers were like two lockers away from each other, we avoided any sort of small talk. We'd exchange the occasional glance but that was it. I think he's accepted how he was a crummy liar of a boyfriend and how I was pretty much right about him needing to clean up his act.

I'm glad he's graduated with us at my high school but as for me ever talking to him again . . . maybe in ten years or five . . . we'll see. And for the clarification, my first had dumped me not the other way around and he didn't have a set reason either so . . . yeah.

Sorry for the tl;dr.

 

[Daenerys]

My Ex-Girlfriend is someone who is so annoying, that, when I look back, I can't remember why we were ever together in the first place.

We were together for 10 months, before calling it quits in January, after I spent 2 months trying to avoid her. The first few months were fun, all we'd do is laugh and make out and... so on. Then the arguments started.

She'd go out every Saturday night, wouldn't invite me, get pissed as a fart, and then start hurling abuse on MSN. Then crying, saying that she loved me, and that it was all her fault and that she couldn't wait for the next time we "made love" (her words, not mine)

So, this started a routine. She'd be fine during the week, but at weekends, she was a monster. Whenever I was free, she was busy, and whenever she was free, I was busy. So we ended up never seeing each other outside of college... which led to her going out drinking more often, and then screaming more abuse.

It was just, pathetic. I should have ended it sooner, really, instead of avoiding her. But with Christmas coming up, and being in the middle of all my coursework, I didn't want to go through all the hassle / potentially fall out with other friends because of breaking up with her.

She was possessive, she'd ask where I was going, where I'd been, who I was with, etc. And If I was just like "Oh, I just went out with Rebecca" she'd flip, and be all "Well. I hope you had a WONDERFUL evening with HER without ME" before saying "I'm sorry. I love you so much" ... it was suffocating, really. I just wanted some personal space, she wanted us to do everything together. Except go out and drink, evidently.

We literally had nothing in common, so it was just a physical relationship, if I'm honest. Looking back on it, no idea why we got together. She has bright pink hair (and no, the carpet does not match the curtains) and has totally different values to me.

Even today, she's still annoying. She just talks about herself non-stop, and acts as if I really want to hear all that crap. >_> I even had another relationship, albeit a very brief one, and breaking up from him effected me more than the breakup of this ten month long relationship.

tl;dr, nothing in common with her, and she still annoys me today.

 

[RioDragon]

My first, last, and so far, only, ex:

We were friends beforehand at school. She went to being home-schooled because of some drama I didn't know about and still don't. To keep in contact, me and her would call each other maybe once a week so we could keep in touch. Eventually, my best friend thought me and her should get together, so he kinda arranged a way to put me on the spot with her, and in the end, I asked her out.

We got along really well, like we always did as friends, although, of course, with the additional romantic and suggestive mush of teenagers dating. She was 16, I was 17. We were thick as thieves and we ended up hanging out together at one or the other's house every other weekend with the occasional movie date and such. She started really pushing for more 'intimate' relations, but I stayed by my values. When I date, my intention is to eventually marry, and thus, save myself physically until that point.

She was pushing more and more for it, but I declined. Eventually, she came clean with me that she had made out with one of my friends, which I suppose was either in retaliation or a temporary loss of self-control. I forgave her, sharing the story of Hosea and his wife from the bible, when she asked me how I could forgive such a thing.

For those who know the story of Hosea, it was about a man who married a harlot, knowing her situation. And despite the fact that she would often return to old habits, he would always forgive and love her the same. That is my approach to hardships in a relationship, and I let her know that.

However, I also didn't want to keep her tied to me if that was not her choice, so I let her choose between me and him. After a day, she chose to stay with me. We went on pretty well despite the rocky ordeal. We went together to a Valentine's Day soiree where I was 'knighted' to her and they held a medieval-style feast. Shortly afterwards was the Junior Prom, which was great.

But, a few days later, she began to start pushing me the way I didn't want to go again. This time, she was pulling out all the stops. Apparently she'd discussed birth control with her mom and things like that without me knowing, and eventually, it came to a head with her saying she really wanted us to have a baby and she couldn't wait. So, for the best interest of both of us, I broke up with her. I had expressed many times that I wanted to be able to provide the best life I could for whoever I marry, so I didn't want to put that in jeopardy, but also, I did not want to live my life having done what she wanted of me and be guilty of dragging both our lives down.

In the end, she said that is was all a lie and that she never really loved me. While that hurt, and it still does, I have no regrets of my decision, because now she is on her way to becoming a registered nurse, still without anything holding her back, and I am in College, studying art and Game Design/Development.

An undesirable chain of events, but at least something positive came of it.

 

[Channizard]

I remember my ex pushing us to have... sexual relations. At the time, I was so unready, and after all, he was my first bf, I didn't know anything. I had originally planned and wanted to have sex when I was married to the person I loved, sure old school kind of thinking, but I honestly didn't think it any other way.

So after much pushing, and pushing.. and zomg more pushing, with the reasoning that "Well, we're going to be together forever, right? So why wait?" We did it. I always hear first times are awkward and horrible... but it was worse than that.

Now it's funny that whenever we have contact on fb, he calls me a whore or a slut who always liked sleeping around in England, it IS why I broke up with him after all... apparently. Now I just blame him and say that if he hadn't pushed me when I wasn't ready, this would have never happened.

 

[Sepalcure]

I remember my ex pushing us to have... sexual relations. At the time, I was so unready, and after all, he was my first bf, I didn't know anything. I had originally planned and wanted to have sex when I was married to the person I loved, sure old school kind of thinking, but I honestly didn't think it any other way.

So after much pushing, and pushing.. and zomg more pushing, with the reasoning that "Well, we're going to be together forever, right? So why wait?" We did it. I always hear first times are awkward and horrible... but it was worse than that.

Now it's funny that whenever we have contact on fb, he calls me a whore or a slut who always liked sleeping around in England, it IS why I broke up with him after all... apparently. Now I just blame him and say that if he hadn't pushed me when I wasn't ready, this would have never happened.

Wow he sounded like a douche, it's a great thing you broke up with him. He obviously didn't deserve you. My very first bf was pushy, pushy, pushy and at 13 of all ages he was like this. Of course he was worse at 16 because I think that's when he realized that his Moses staff was useful for something. The bloke was always egging me on to just give myself up up to him, hampering me on the phone, while we were hanging around at his locker, and when we stayed after school. Needless to say, he never got it, I made sure to limit him to just kissing me, that was it.

I wanted to save myself the awkwardness and the risk (friends and acquaintances used to warn me about his tendency to be a bit of a playboy, if you know what I mean). So I was never sure if he really was a virgin at all. Thankfully he ended it when he did, otherwise he knows what could've happened back then . . .

 

[Channizard]

I didn't want to end up preggers at a young age, that was the thing I was worried about most. What happens after we're apart? Apparently he went through a 'promiscuous' phase to 'get back at me', got with a fat black chick, left her because she was into weed.. and then settled for another fat chick, and within less than a year, they're preggers. -shakes head-

The sad part is, is that he was 19 when we were together and all this was going on.. his whole 'spiritual' look on life revolved a lot around wanting to do it.

But your guy at the age of 13, really shocks me. =/

 

[RioDragon]

I think people in general should just learn that 'no' means no. Normally, people have good reasons for the decisions they make. Beyond religion or anything as abstract as that, there's often legitimate concerns and ideals involved, maybe even past experience when it comes to family members or friends or did things differently.

People nowadays have an 'I want it right now' mentality, and that's unhealthy, especially in relationships. It should be a happy medium of comfort between the people involved.

 

[Sepalcure]

I didn't want to end up preggers at a young age, that was the thing I was worried about most. What happens after we're apart? Apparently he went through a 'promiscuous' phase to 'get back at me', got with a fat black chick, left her because she was into weed.. and then settled for another fat chick, and within less than a year, they're preggers. -shakes head-

The sad part is, is that he was 19 when we were together and all this was going on.. his whole 'spiritual' look on life revolved a lot around wanting to do it.

But your guy at the age of 13, really shocks me. =/

Yeah, he tends to shock most people when I tell them about him.
He's supposedly content now, I'm assuming that with all of the girls he's double-crossed, he somehow saw the metaphorical 'light' or something. Or maybe coercing that one black Freshman girl into pretty much well getting him off, pardon my French, scared him shitless when he thought back on it. I'm not sure.

Ha, yeah ending up preggers in high school is not cool, especially when you're not mentally prepared for it. Looking back, there were tons of girls who ended up preggers at like 15 because they messed around with the wrong guys. My guy knew people who were into weed and even tried to get me to smoke it at one point when we stayed after. He was just so . . . different when we weren't in public, still nice I suppose, but very, very pushy. In public with his friends, he was an idiot. Banged his head into lockers, laughed about it, and listened to crazy heavy metal bands from like Norway and Iceland. He was a character.

EDIT: WolfBlack, I'm not sure I'd generalize it into just 'people' so much as it is certain people being more sexually excited than others. Some people like to push their sexual needs onto others to exert a sense of dominance. I know that in the case of my first bf, he wanted sex, purely out of selfishness and a need to feel dominant, like he was in control. He could care less if I didn't want it at some point, because eventually he WOULD get it in some shape or form. He wasn't taught to repress that urge or to respect the wishes of a girl, and if he DID learn it, then he just tossed that lesson into the garbage.

There are people who will generally hold their partner's interests at heart, who will respect their want to keep sex a sacred act, reserved for marriage. Me, I plan to reserve it for "that special person", that one guy who will respect me. It's fine if we bicker about small stupid shit but if a guy can't respect me or my body then goodbye to him. He needs to wait it out patiently until I'm ready too.

 

[Abstract Debauchery]

Glanced around and didn't see a thread like this one.

This is just a general 'Ex' thread. How did it end?

Badly. Words can't describe just how badly it ended. She accused me of cheating on her with someone on the internet, because she was jealous of me having friends that happened to be female on an online MMO.

Not to say that was the only reason. We had been arguing almost daily for months. Sometimes little things, sometimes huge things, but it became taxing. After a while, I just gave up on the relationship. It seemed like no matter what I did, she was always on my ass about something, and I grew tired of it. We broke up to take a break, and we got back together. Realizing nothing had changed, I broke up with her.

That's when she started grasping at straws and constantly accused me of cheating on her. With stupid screenshots of said MMO as her proof.

According to her, you can't have any close female friends, or else it's cheating.

How long were you together for?

Three fraking years.

Was it good?

For the first 2 and a half, yes. Those last few months were hell though.

Or did the bad times outweigh the good, and it made it all the more easy to finish things off?

Yes. I can easily remember the bad times much easier than the good. Which helped me end the relationship, and try to cut ties completely.

Were you the dumper, or the dumpee?

I dumped her.

Was it easy on you?

At first, no. But after a while, I got over it. I've always been strong mentally, so after about 2 weeks, it didn't bother me anymore. Good riddance.

Are you two still in touch?

OH HOW I WISH WE WEREN'T.

She stalks me on the fucking forums. I've asked her to stop, but she said she couldn't, and that she would continue doing it, because she can't be out of my life completely. So yeah, she's going to read this, and if I hadn't deleted my email, she would bitch about it. Just like she bitched about the MMO screenshots, and a FICTIONAL. FUCKING. RELATIONSHIP. That took place in a fucking RP.

However, as I said, I deleted my email, just so she couldn't contact me. So, at the moment, she has no way of messenger me at all.

Oh, and if you are reading this, leave me the fuck alone.

Are you friends?

FUCK. NO. I never want to be, I never wish to be, and I hope I never have to see her, hear from her, EVER AGAIN. I hate her with every fraking fiber of my being.

Do you even believe in the whole "friends after going out/sleeping together" thing?

I tried that with her, but she would only keep talking about how I "used her", how I was the classic "male jerk" (her favorite insult ever). Trust me on this, I wouldn't attempt to be her friend even if I lived a few thousand miles away. I'm not going to touch that concept with a 100 foot pole.

And how are they doing these days?

Aside from stalking me, and sending me threatening emails about jumping out of the bushes and "raping me just like pedobear". Fucking great. The insane little wench.

All in all, it's somewhat stressful. I hope this time, I'm rid of her from good. She doesn't consider following me around on the internet, and reading all of my posts to send me emails about them stalking. Nope, not in the slightest. Never mind there are laws on "cyberstalking and internet harassment". Never mind that if someone followed you around in real life and started yelling at you for everything that you did, it would be called stalking. Never mind that sending someone emails threatening to "rape them like pedobear" is a legitimate threat. She honestly doesn't believe it to be wrong.

I go out on dates often, but now I'm afraid of starting something serious again. The last thing I want is to end up in this situation with TWO women. Even though, the last date I was on was rather nice, and the girl was pretty sweet. I should really send her an email. We ate at Papasittos, a "texmex" restaurant, and had a good time. Yet, the mere thought of this happening to me again, haunts me. I may never date again.

 

[Shu]

Eh, I prefer not to list them. I'll just describe a few things in which I'll always regret doing for people.. sigh.

I'm a bit different than I am on the forums. I am a little shyer, unless of course I am with someone, since I'm married, that's not a factor really anymore, but say back when.. okay?

I'm a decent looking fella, so I've been with witches and I've been with Queens.. not many granted, since I'm not a one night stand type of fella, but hey.. enough to ugh have my head thrown to the insanity ward.

Let's see, well first ex, was mutual endings, and she definitely will always be a good friend. One of those people I'm glad I didn't sleep with or I know now that we probably wouldn't be friends.. (something about sleeping with someone, makes folks end disagreeably).

Now as far as Georgia (naming the state) goes, she was a nut. I kind of just came home from college one summer, and was freshly starting a new semester when I started talking to her. We had 2 months, but near the end she started becoming very.. uh paranoid. I was a gamer, I worked at a place called underground lounge, well not worked, just helped.. I would be paid to call it work. She thought I was there getting with girls, and all I was doing was managing computers and playing a bit of Battlefield 2 or Countercrack or Pool. Granted a group of us would go out for a few drinks afterwards at the pool hall, but.. that was usual for me. Everyone knew I was a pretty straight laced person. Maybe to the point of being lame, meaning I wouldn't flirt back, I'd just casually converse with the girls we hung around. Granted myself and Georgia had sex, and she visited Nashville, but seriously.. that's so far in between.. in the end she was the one that was cheating on me with someone from her home town. I had no idea till she wanted to end it, and I basically told her Okay.. and she freaked out. She called me for months afterwards saying sorry, and spouting crap like love love love, the god honest truth is though, when one cheats on me I kind of treat them like dog shit, aka ignore them, cut all contacts with them, never talk/see them again. It's just karma. Hince why I was never keen on long distance relationships, just so easy to go wrong. Who knows if she's tried to cyber stalk (facebook/myspace) me since, but she was definitely a loony.

Last ex was just a bitch. I had my life in a certain way, and everything and I do mean everything I did was like it was against her policy. Meaning I loved soccer, loud rock/soul/jazz/reggae/blues music, gaming, going to concerts, doing the whole shebang. She was into her family up in IL, and having these small groups of friends in which got together to just talk shit about folks. It was really disheartening, even if I didn't have a clue who they were talking about sometimes. She treated me like some well groomed trophy dog, granted I'm a prep, but I'm not made to be the nicest person in the world. Every time I complained or was angry at someone else, she would act as if they were in the right or everything I said was trivial. Family deaths... brother totalling his car while drinking and survived... one of her friends blowing her off obviously and her not coping with it. When I say I didn't care for talking about what "cosmo" said or how Jennifer Anniston and Brad Pitt were doing, she'd go in a crying frenzy. I'm more of the person who likes to be into a community, I like hanging with groups of folks. And although she liked hanging with me, it's like we were locked in her apartment room for days and day.. I felt suffocated. She goes to Mexico, and I hear she's dabbling with folks, because she is being told it's okay to cheat once. So I stop picking my phone up for her, I start going back to the bars.. and not to get back at her I start seeing someone else. Like I said, when I am cheated on.. it's safe to say I hate salvaging that low of a relationship. Plenty of fish in the sea.. and I had to change my image so much for this one person. God what a sap I was, I blame it on sex.

As for her, I made her get her crap out of my place, and never spoke to her again. I came to hear she said I was the devil and ruined her life, and I'm wondering what parts of the story she left out when telling her so called drama friends. God Bless her, she'll need help one day. She was cool for a little, but a possessive little spoiled Brat the next.

 

[Channizard]

Wow Shu, your ex's are right up there with mine. Perhaps we should set them up?

The first one just sounds like a nutter... and only cheated on you to try and grab your attention (for whatever reason to use cheating is beyond me).

Does everybody feel that way? Is everybody else an avid believer in the "once a cheater, always a cheater" and will just drop someone instantly if they found out?

 

[Daenerys]

Does everybody feel that way? Is everybody else an avid believer in the "once a cheater, always a cheater" and will just drop someone instantly if they found out?

I am. I think that if you're in a relationship, it's exclusive. I'm not a fan of "open" relationships at all, with me, it's all or nothing. I'm not going to share my partner with God knows how many other people.

If they cheat once, it's all over. I don't care if they were drunk, or if they have another excuse for it, it just won't fly. It's just inexcusable in my eyes.

 

[Sepalcure]

I am. I think that if you're in a relationship, it's exclusive. I'm not a fan of "open" relationships at all, with me, it's all or nothing. I'm not going to share my partner with God knows how many other people.

If they cheat once, it's all over. I don't care if they were drunk, or if they have another excuse for it, it just won't fly. It's just inexcusable in my eyes.

Ditto, with Stevie on this one, if you're with me, then you're with me. If you can't stay committed and be exclusive then we have to sadly part ways. Due to my experience with only one "once a cheater . . ." type of guy, I can't assume that every cheater out there will always be a cheater. Not to be perso--oh fuck, yeah I'll make it personal, I don't really care, my dad was a cheater back in his day. Cheated on my mom loads of times. Probably, still cheats now but can't admit it. In his defense, he does seem to be happily married but still . . . I don't like with the dude and even if I did, he could still hide his supposed harem of women quietly away from all of his unsuspecting housemates.

Due to this, like Stevie, I'm of the steadfast belief that even my dad is still a cheater today and so I kind of . . . don't/can't love him, plus there's other reasons for that, that I WON'T get into. He's screwed over too many women to the point where I think even he's unsure of his loyalty . . . my first, was pretty much, well he's too young, when he hits 40 then he'll know what it's like to look back on his life in possible regret or happiness.

So I can neither say that a cheater will or will not cheat. Some supposedly change and reform, like my dad and first bf did, but even that's questionable. You can never outright say that someone will be faithful to you. 'Cause at the end of the day, when they're away from you, and they get lonely . . . any company can become good company. Still, there are the select loyal few, that stay monogamous and steadfastly loyal to their wives. It's just that . . . personally I don't trust anyone . . . that's a male and that's going to be in a relationship. Yeah, dad fucked up my trust issues. Thanks, dad.

Basically, you have to really prove to me that you're with me. I'm not gonna be like paranoid or whatever but still . . . if you fuck up once, twice, three times. Goodbye.

 

[Abstract Debauchery]

I am. I think that if you're in a relationship, it's exclusive. I'm not a fan of "open" relationships at all, with me, it's all or nothing. I'm not going to share my partner with God knows how many other people.

If they cheat once, it's all over. I don't care if they were drunk, or if they have another excuse for it, it just won't fly. It's just inexcusable in my eyes.

I'm also with Mark on this one. I'm not a big fan of cheating, so if my partner was cheating on me... Insta-hate.

So, like in my post above, when I was accused of doing that, with a girl on the internet, no less, I was insulted, and I never took her seriously again.

 

[RioDragon]

Does everybody feel that way? Is everybody else an avid believer in the "once a cheater, always a cheater" and will just drop someone instantly if they found out?

Like I'd said in my story, I'm not. I'd forgive and try my hardest to make it work all the time. How am I supposed to know how something happened or the reason they occurred? And even then, I throw my heart into a relationship 200%, it wouldn't do for me to just drop her without honestly trying my damnedest to patch things up.

 

[Shu]

Meh, the way I see it, if I'm putting that amount of time and money, I'm not willing to roast my heart over a fire for them just to be a little bit confused. You are either in a relationship 100% or it's over, otherwise just date and not get involved in a relationship.

It might be shallow, but if you think you have feelings for someone else, just grow some balls and end the relationship. No need to sit there and finding yourself while you have someone else's heart in your hands. There is a reason men and women are said to be the ends to one another. We put each other through such mental turmoil sometimes unnecessarily because we feel the other is having second thoughts, or bored of the other person for a temporary amount of time.

I admit it, sometimes I just need my space. That doesn't mean I care about the person less. When the other person needs their space, I admittedly allow them to have to much space sometimes, but I take all things literal sometimes. Unless they are screwing around, then I'll keep my thoughts to myself.

Cheaters are always out there, some do it for a rush, some do it to feel alive, others do it because they are unsure of their life.. etc.. etc.. meaning some other person will listen to them whine about the same stuff they whine about before. These folks aren't fit for relationships, until they can become completely independent and be able to deal with their own problems though. It's just baggage in my opinion.

I also value friends a good bit, if they doesn't have friends or are a bit spacey with their folks, then I'm a bit weary of that person. It's hard for me to completely trust them, if you know what I mean. They don't have their alone time with the girls and I believe that's always important to maintain. If I don't have a way to let loose on occasion without the Mrs. I'd be down right insane. Love her to death, but sometimes we want to strangle each other =). So yea.. that's my input.