The Centaur Club

Dionysos

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I'd love to see a 50 Centaur Album Cover 😆

Anyone who creates a 50 Centaur Album Cover and tweets it at 50-Cent himself earns one CT (Centaur Token).

Why didn't the Centaurs kidnap horses? Maybe it would have been easier? :hmm:
Horses are fast. People are less fast.
Also centaurs have always been a human fantasy. Whether that is a sexual fantasy or a fantasy about uncouth peoples to contrast with the civilised Greeks, it's a fantasy to cater towards the tastes or anxieties of humankind. Imagining a brutish centaur carrying off a young woman who needs rescuing by a physically perfect musclebound hero is clearly expressing a certain type of fantasy. Imagining a centaur lifting up a horse and carrying it off is less likely to get a hero out of bed, though they might mourn the loss if it was a named favourite horse.

It is also more difficult to physically lift a horse up into the air and carry it off, one would presume. A human would be much easier for a centaur to lift up and carry off (should the centaur be that way inclined, which is likely for many centaurs).

Can Centaurs ride horses?

No. That would probably kill the horse. Unless riding here is euphemistic, in which case there might be some centaur-on-horse action between the lines.

In the accounts which cite that the centaur’s were the grandchildren rather than the children of Ixion, it was Ixion’s son Centaurus who sires the centaurs when he coupled with Magnesian mares.

The centaurs themselves also spawned horse children sometimes (such as the horses belonging to the Lapiths), so maybe these were the result on centaurs and horses getting together.

If so, can they also ride Sidesaddle?

See above… But I guess they could also gallop alongside a horse, but twist their torso so that they are leaning on the horse’s back? Would that count?

Maybe a child centaur could successfully ride a horse without breaking its back.

Does a Centaur play a game of Horseshoes with his own shoes?

That would be brilliant! Maybe not wild mountain centaurs, but should any move into the towns with blacksmiths, and become more ‘civilised’ with horseshoes, then I guess it would make sense that a centaur might see the sort of games humans play and realise that it possesses a set ready for use.

Does the clean glass go into the cabinet facing down or up?

That sounds like a question only the oracle of Delphi can answer (or maybe the trees of Dodona - I still want to know if Dorkilos stole the cloth while we're on that one).

Other Centaur stuff: I had a rough night sleeping last night and was probably running a low-grade fever. Nothing serious, but I think it invoked a rather strange dream :wacky: All I can remember was a toy riding lawnmower mowing up heavy clumps of leaves and that I had to hurry because of the Centaur War. I'm not sure what the Centaur war was though, as I woke up and had to get some water. :unsure: I hope it's not a premonition.

That is a very interesting dream and I would suspect our recent discussions could have contributed towards that.

The Centaur War....

I mean this is 2020. It's not... Impossible?

Oh no! Well, if the Centaur War really is upon us then maybe the centaurs will let us live because we're clearly not their enemies now that we have this club.

Maybe this is like the Roko's Basilisk thought experiment (*shudders*). Maybe we need to actively work towards bringing real centaurs into existence so that when they do come into existence and they take revenge on all people who did not help to bring them into existence, we shall be spared. But in doing so, we'd be bringing them into existence. :hmmm:



EDIT: I hope you feel better soon!
 
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Miko

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I shouldn't be surprised, but I'm surprised you actually answered those! :LOL:


:hmm: I'm starting to think the Centaur War may involve the possible Mermaid/Siren/People-Dove Club. We must stay vigilent. We must... recruit more members!


1597967731004.jpeg
 

Dionysos

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I shouldn't be surprised, but I'm surprised you actually answered those! :LOL:


:hmm: I'm starting to think the Centaur War may involve the possible Mermaid/Siren/People-Dove Club. We must stay vigilent. We must... recruit more members!


View attachment 9522


:O!

That is incredible! We definitely need to share that to gain support for our club.

Remind me to grant you 1 well-deserved Centaur Token!

Here’s a centaur question for everyone's consideration: if you were to ride on the back of a centaur, would you high-five it whenever it successfully leaps over a high fence or wide chasm?
 

Linnaete

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I am totally not dressed as a harpy inside a wooden horse or anything. There isn't a claw or feather on me. Honest!
 

Dionysos

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I am totally not dressed as a harpy inside a wooden horse or anything. There isn't a claw or feather on me. Honest!

Welcome! Neigh!

When you can think of a name then let me know and I'll add that to your membership information...

:linnerva:



We're now a flock ( :ahmed: I mean herd) of five!
 

Dionysos

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Linnaete has now officially decided on her centaur name: Whinny the Pooh.

Oh bother...
 

Miko

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😆 I'm still laughing at Whinny the Pooh.

Here’s a centaur question for everyone's consideration: if you were to ride on the back of a centaur, would you high-five it whenever it successfully leaps over a high fence or wide chasm?

Obviously yes, this would be a huge feat with someone on their back! I imagine having the entire top half of a person on your front half of your horse body would make you very front heavy, so I think adding a person to your back would make things very off. I would not know, as I am not a Centaur :O




If Centaurs existed in the ocean, would they be half person, half sea horse?
 

Dionysos

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I would not know, as I am not a Centaur :O

Until now...



If Centaurs existed in the ocean, would they be half person, half sea horse?

Now that is a question for our times!

I’d lean towards them being half hippocampus, but that doesn’t help us out at all. A hippocampus would be half horse, half fish anyway so throwing a centaur into the mix only potentially cancels out one half or the other and we’re no better off…

Let's see our options (with the assumption being that only two aspects transfer):
Centaur (man + horse) + Hippocampus (horse + fish) =
1) man + fish (merfolk)
2) horse + fish (hippocampus again, cancelled out)
3) horse + horse (which just gives you an annoyed horse)
4) horse + man (a centaur again, cancelled out)

When you mix two already mixed things, do you lose one of the aspects that had been mixed in one of the originals? If so, which aspect is dominant? I guess this is a bit like genetics in real life. Maybe the horse gene is stronger than the fish gene and could overrule it just like black hair might overrule ginger, etc.

If so, then option 4) might happen anyway, bringing us a drowned centaur.
 

Linnaete

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FFF Discord started showing off (and making fun of others') personal handwriting, so inevitably I had to put in a centaur somewhere. Consider this my first contribution to the club.

 

Dionysos

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FFF Discord started showing off (and making fun of others') personal handwriting, so inevitably I had to put in a centaur somewhere. Consider this my first contribution to the club.


The Desktop Triceratops was very sad to learn that you didn't know who he was, so wrote a note of his own to introduce himself to you.

20200908_203420.jpg


The Desktop Triceratops can write better than I can. Despite his polite note and public face, he was deeply upset and asked me a lot of questions about what he is. It took almost an entire hour to stop him from crying after you called him a 'frog.... kappa... thing'. :sad2:
 

Dionysos

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37daaa409b9c88b7c8ef79e351611a6f95328a34022f94d2acab65f268757d79_1.jpg


This is something we need to think about.

If we were to tickle a centaur in the ribs, which ribs?
 

Miko

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Does that mean Centaurs also have two hearts? :hmm:




In other news: Sintaurs :britt::britt::britt:

1600034186899.png
 

Dionysos

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Does that mean Centaurs also have two hearts? :hmm:




In other news: Sintaurs :britt::britt::britt:

View attachment 9567


Oh wow!

That works. Somehow. Have you just created that? :D
I guess Ixion isn't the only FFX character with a centaur connection now!



As for the two hearts idea... That's a very good point. If they do have two hearts then does that also make them Time Lords (Doctor Who)? Time travelling will give them plenty of space (and time) to roam free.
 

Miko

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I can't take total credit but I did just make it for this occasion :8F:

How is this possible? Obviously it's because...

Pyreflies.jpg




I'm not familiar with Doctor Who but I think Time Lord Centaurs are pretty cool! Plus if they have to hearts for each rib cage then maybe they also have two sets of lungs. Does that mean they could smoke and the repercussions wouldn't be as severe? Not that I condone smoking - Have you seen the Centaur birth defects on the back of those packages? One woman had a half man / half other man child!
 

Dionysos

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Okay, that Pyreflies version of the Giorgio Tsoukalos 'Aliens' meme is golden. :argor:

But also yes. Probably pyreflies. Since centaurs are 'cloud-born' in myth in that they are descended from Nephele the cloud-Hera following the lusty sin of Ixion, in FFX's Spira we could always imagine that centaurs may have inherited this sin via their ancestor's pyreflies and maybe they themselves became Sin as a cloud of pyreflies congealed and created them. Or maybe they became a herd of mini-Sins.

Unless that is a Sin-sized sintaur. In which case I think we need a bigger field than the Calm Lands. :O


I'm not familiar with Doctor Who but I think Time Lord Centaurs are pretty cool! Plus if they have to hearts for each rib cage then maybe they also have two sets of lungs. Does that mean they could smoke and the repercussions wouldn't be as severe? Not that I condone smoking - Have you seen the Centaur birth defects on the back of those packages? One woman had a half man / half other man child!

It might help with smoking. If one set of lungs packs in then they could always use the other pair. Or do a self-transplant to move the back-up lungs to the location they'd prefer to have them (presuming that the human lungs would be the first to go, being closer to the mouth of the centaur).

I suppose having an extra liver could help them with their drinking parties too!
Although by most accounts they aren't very good at holding their wine.
 

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Centaurs have got to be the most athletic fantasy creature ever. lol. Horse running speed and APE TORSO able to wield scary melee weapons with their opposable thumbs.

Yeah, just imagine a trained centaur being in an army!

You all know about FF8's weapon enemies and them being adapted into FF14 right? It's essentially a centaur with its lower body being extremely thicker and far more muscled.
 

Dionysos

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Centaurs have got to be the most athletic fantasy creature ever. lol. Horse running speed and APE TORSO able to wield scary melee weapons with their opposable thumbs.

Yeah, just imagine a trained centaur being in an army!

Centaurs would make excellent cavalry troops in particular! And nobody would need to waste time with training horses or the horses getting spooked losing control.


You all know about FF8's weapon enemies and them being adapted into FF14 right? It's essentially a centaur with its lower body being extremely thicker and far more muscled.

That's true. FFVII's Ultimate Weapon and the Weapons from FFX also follow this trend. They're centaur-shaped dragon monsters of sorts. They should also probably be banned from parties. :argor:


If you fancy joining the club officially, feel free to make up a centaur name for yourself too and I can add it to the list. If you're just wanting to pop in then that is fine too.
 

Miko

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Okay, now hear me out...

Centaurs... but instead of just a horse, it's a unicorn.

Sparkles.gif

Unicorn.png
 

Dionysos

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Okay, now hear me out...

Centaurs... but instead of just a horse, it's a unicorn.

View attachment 9621
View attachment 9622

That’s a good point!

Unicorn centaurs would be lovely.

I worry though... wouldn’t this make them hornier? We’d need to check that they aren’t drinking unadulterated wine before they spiral out of control making advances on everything under the rainbow.

But we only let nice centaurs into our horde, so a nice unicorn-centaur who can hold his/her wine would be a most welcome addition!
 

Dionysos

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Ea8Vy3rVcAALx8m classical memes for hellenistic teens.jpg



Also.. Apparently '50 Centaur' has already been through the meme machine! Ilyena



Of course it has. If someone has an idea, someone else does too. I guess that's one of the rules of the internet...
 
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