Teenage/Pre-Marital Pregnancy

Aztec Triogal

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I saw this graph when reading a news article this morning and I thought I'd bring up a discussion about it. I'll walk softly on the topic because I know there are a number of women on here who had children pre-maritally and unintentionally. From the women I know who have become pregnant early, most of them love their child more than anything else in the world but admit mixed feelings about its conception. So I'm curious what people think on this issue?

As an average American, I have to admit I really am a bit surprised by these numbers. They're much higher than I would have thought. Basically 42% for the national average... that's pretty steep. That's not half but it's not chump change either. And it may seem ignorant or rude of me but I'm not sure how women get pregnant prematurely. I don't blame them. I blame the guys because I'm not sure what's so difficult about using protection or pulling out. You can say that's why they call it a mistake... but on the other hand I don't have any friends who have even come close to making that "mistake".

As a guy, I definitely dislike these numbers. Let me be perfectly clear. I believe it is a personal flaw on the part of any guy who is unwilling to date or love a woman just because she's had a child. That being said, I'm flawed. I don't want to date someone who already has a child with someone. I've turned down a few relationships because of it. I would really have to care about the woman a lot for that child not to matter. And when you basically delete those women from the pool of acceptable candidates... it basically means that only 60% of women are then even applicable for dating. As if the dating world wasn't hard enough...

Let's hear some other thoughts...


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Dating a woman with a kid would definitely be hard. It's hard enough to wanna be with someone long enough to see if it works and then the end if it don't work. But with a kid involved it's a bit more complicated than just splitting up and going separate ways. Have to care a whole lot about that woman to do that. I am flawed as well I do not think I could do it not to just jump into a relationship where family is basically already started. But I do find it hard for it to be a mistake I would have to put the blame on the guy cause I work with guys that talk about gettin a girl pregnant then leavin like it was a game or somethin pisses me off really.
 
My sister concieved her first child when she was 15. My mother had her first child at 18. Needless to say, I do not want to carry on this trend. As a whole, I am not really suprised at the numbers, but at the same time, it's sort of sad to see that so many young girls get pregnant accidentaly. Especially 14-15 year olds. They're young; they're not even allowed to drive a car without an adult in the car. They should be enjoying their youth while they still have it. I am. I am proud to say that, as of yet, I do not have a child. I am planning on starting my own family in my mid-20s, once I am married and have a steady job. I am planning on my future. But it's sad to see that not everyone does.
 
It's not just the fault of the guy that a girl could get pregnant, sure, he should wear protection ESPECIALLY if it's a new relationship, but people (stupidly) get caufght up in the heat of the moment. The girl could forget to take her pill, even LIE about it. Some women have been known to trap men into getting them pregnant

Not that Im saying all men are saints, my ex told me he couldn't have kids, look where that landed me, and ive learnt to accept the sterotype of being a single mum (ok, Im not single NOW but I was for a while - and Im certainly not with the father)

I think better education is needed - there are way too many teenage pregnancies. Alot of these girls make fantastic mums, but still Im sure most of them in hindsight would like to live their life first. Apart from those who just see it as a free meal ticket.....

Im proper rambliong, not even sure if Ive answered the question or not. Im not even sure what the question IS, but meh, thats my peanut >_>

As for pre-marital births, who gives a shit about a peice of paper now? Or have I concieved in sin and have a bastard child? No snide comments please >_>

I can understand why people would be put off gettinginto a relationship with someone with a kid, but well, it's not everything is it? Im not JUST a mother, Im a person aswel. Id pbe pretty damn insulted if I got talking to someone, we liked each other then they found out I had a kid a while later and ran for the hills. It's abit of a black and white view. But hey, each to their own I suppose
 
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eople (stupidly) get caufght up in the heat of the moment.

See this is part of what I don't get. (Not that your answer is bad or wrong or blah blah blah... just adding to the discussion) Anyhow, maybe I'm not a Johnny Cum Quickly but no matter how good the sex is... when you get to the romance explosion part... there's about a 5 seconds heads-up. When you hit that "OMG" point... you pull. And all you have to do is pull out... it's not like you're defusing a fucking nuclear bomb... it's Tab A is removed from Slot A. har har har I just don't get how guys fail to do that, even if the moment is hot.
 
I'm not saying you can't do that, but, you also have this little thing called pre-cum :-)wacky:) you could use the withdrawal technique but still be unlucky and wind up pregnant from it. And there will always be people who get pissed up and just do it and think oshit in the morning :monster:

Im not condoning it, but shit happens
 
This is something of a live topic in Britain at the moment and i suppose your view on it varies depending on your character and experience. Government figures have shown that teen pregnancies have shot up in recent months. Some would speculate that with our benefit-centric councils, less well-off families are deliberately 'breeding' daughters to get the additional benefits that comes with having a child. This theory would tally with the current economic crash, but alarmingly, it would also mean that chavs and low-lives have gained the ability understand matters beyond the next bottle of white lightening.

On a personal note, i do believe that there are folk out there that deliberately rape the benefits system. However, i choose to believe they are a minority - for now. Mostly i think people are unlucky (or lucky depending on how you look at it) and get caught out by not being as careful or well prepared as they should have been. Teenagers will have sex. It's as simple as that. Society has come a long way since WWII, and we do not frown upon teenage pregnancies the way we used to because sex is such an open thing these days, which is no bad thing. There is absolutely no lack of sex education in Britain, i just think that it's not quite getting through just how much of a life eater a kid is.

In terms of contraception. Honestly. Condoms are a romance killer and they're not the most comfortable things to wear, however, they will halt any STI's either partner is carrying, so they're pretty much a must for a new relationship. Beyond that, there are lots of options, the pill being the most proliffic, however, there are women to whom these cause nasty complications. That said there are still alternatives.

As for pulling out, well, yeah as it has already been pointed out, a man knows damn well when he's about to come so there's no excuse not to.
 
This shouldn't only be about teenagers this should be about young people as a whole meaning people that get their lives started later and later in this country thanks to the tanking economy.

If you go to college and get out, I expect you won't get a job right off the bat these days thanks to the job market.

So back to the discussion, would I date a mother? Well since I've been in a relationship for around 3 years now, I think I forgot how to date to be honest. I would be awkward and shy if I ever were a single man again, and to date a person who has already had their "life" started.. as in already had a kid and already has the weight of experience on their shoulders; well it would be damn hard.

I'm no free spirit but I would want to date someone who is on the same playing field as I am. As in they are not tied down to obligations to their kid. I know shit happens, people get pregnant every day on accident. I can understand if the mother was forced into this situation, but I know from experience a baby changes a girl. It makes them mature quickly, whether it be bad or good.

Financially I can not support more than 2 mouths to feed. I have to many damn animals to worry about as it is. Plus I would want to give something special to my lady every now and again.. with a kid , that's virtually impossible to think about. Right now I can just afford trips to places I wouldn't be able to feeding more than 2 mouths..

As for accidents and stuff, I'm sorry but if I'm ever an American father who has a daughter, besides taking good care of her I would get her on birth control at an early age. For one it controls estrogen making her break out less at an early age, and plus I know there are some sick fuckers in the world.. and if something like rape were to occur at least I wouldn't have have to worry about an illegitimate bastard child. (no offense) Also for the sake she does date.. well if they are having sexual relations, well I at least know she's holding her end of the bargain up..

I might be to harsh with all this.. but it's the way I am ... for now.
 
Why does everyone seem to think dating a mother means its hard? Me and my boyfriend go out all the time, and enjoy ourselves. I dont expect him to feed another mouth I have my OWN money for that. W eare not all leeches looking for a man to support us. I established my life and routine and a man in my life is just an added bonus, not a meal ticket or anything. He doesnt live with me. He has NO responsibilities. He offers to help me with shit all the time, money towards shopping and shit 'because he eats it aswel' I say its there to be eaten. I dont need his money, I survived before he came along. Only difference having a kid makes in my life is I cant go out when I want. Which doesnt bother me all that much anyway, I go out MORE than enough, probably more than alot of mothers, I get babysitters fairly frequent

Me having a kid doesnt affect his life OR finacial situation one bit
 
My town held top percentage of pregnant teenagers in the state for three years straight. I don't think we're top now, but I've had a pregnant girl in at least one class every year since 8th grade. I know when I was in 9th grade, there were 20 something -sixth- graders pregnant, with plenty more in the high school. These numbers really don't surprised me; I'm surprised Texas isn't in first. Just today, I was walking to the counselor's office and the office aides there were talking about one of their babies.

I've just really gotten numb to the issue, since it's so common here.
 
Honestly, I think a lot of guys see pregnant women as used goods. It's like buying secondhand when you can buy OEM. Again, it's entirely the guy's problem... but it isn't untrue or uncommon.

As for pre-cum, yea you're right... but it's uncommon. The only sperm in pre-jism is from the last time you've done the act. If you've peed inbetween intercourse, there's no risk. Even so, it's very rough for that little sperm to make it to an egg. You aren't wrong. It just doesn't explain the 42% statistic at all.
 
As a guy, I definitely dislike these numbers. Let me be perfectly clear. I believe it is a personal flaw on the part of any guy who is unwilling to date or love a woman just because she's had a child. That being said, I'm flawed. I don't want to date someone who already has a child with someone. I've turned down a few relationships because of it. I would really have to care about the woman a lot for that child not to matter. And when you basically delete those women from the pool of acceptable candidates... it basically means that only 60% of women are then even applicable for dating. As if the dating world wasn't hard enough...
Potentially a bit of a fallacy. I can't speak for everyone, but when talking to people I don't ask them if they have a child. Already knowing that she has a child would be different, there is a bit of a social stigma there, but if I found out that a chick I liked had a kid, it wouldn't make me go off her.

See this is part of what I don't get. (Not that your answer is bad or wrong or blah blah blah... just adding to the discussion) Anyhow, maybe I'm not a Johnny Cum Quickly but no matter how good the sex is... when you get to the romance explosion part... there's about a 5 seconds heads-up. When you hit that "OMG" point... you pull. And all you have to do is pull out... it's not like you're defusing a fucking nuclear bomb... it's Tab A is removed from Slot A. har har har I just don't get how guys fail to do that, even if the moment is hot
If the guy isn't wearing a condom, and both people want to avoid pregnancy, then the girl should be on some form of birth control.
How widely available are those forms of contraception in America? Here Condoms, The pill and the injection are all free as long as you go to a couple of family planning meetings.

This is something of a live topic in Britain at the moment and i suppose your view on it varies depending on your character and experience. Government figures have shown that teen pregnancies have shot up in recent months. Some would speculate that with our benefit-centric councils, less well-off families are deliberately 'breeding' daughters to get the additional benefits that comes with having a child. This theory would tally with the current economic crash, but alarmingly, it would also mean that chavs and low-lives have gained the ability understand matters beyond the next bottle of white lightening.
Are you suggesting teens getting laid is the cause of the economic collapse?:gasp:
Anyway there are always 'free riders' it's an inevitability.

As for accidents and stuff, I'm sorry but if I'm ever an American father who has a daughter, besides taking good care of her I would get her on birth control at an early age. For one it controls estrogen making her break out less at an early age, and plus I know there are some sick fuckers in the world.. and if something like rape were to occur at least I wouldn't have have to worry about an illegitimate bastard child. (no offense) Also for the sake she does date.. well if they are having sexual relations, well I at least know she's holding her end of the bargain up..
At the girl's mother would just let you do that?
That's incredibly controlling, you can't just force someone to take the pill.
 
Why does everyone seem to think dating a mother means its hard? Me and my boyfriend go out all the time, and enjoy ourselves. I dont expect him to feed another mouth I have my OWN money for that. W eare not all leeches looking for a man to support us. I established my life and routine and a man in my life is just an added bonus, not a meal ticket or anything. He doesnt live with me. He has NO responsibilities. He offers to help me with shit all the time, money towards shopping and shit 'because he eats it aswel' I say its there to be eaten. I dont need his money, I survived before he came along. Only difference having a kid makes in my life is I cant go out when I want. Which doesnt bother me all that much anyway, I go out MORE than enough, probably more than alot of mothers, I get babysitters fairly frequent

Me having a kid doesnt affect his life OR finacial situation one bit

I think I came off to harsh to you. I'm not an unsympathetic/unempathetic dog of a male species like so many of my brothers may be. I was just trying to state the harsh truth within me.

Currently my lifestyle has to ability of taking care of someone else financially, and I do enjoy this. This is not in a controlling way either. If I had a girlfriend, who also had a kid, well I would want to take care of both of them the best I could. I would want her to decide what she wants (freedom to the fullest), but also able to not have to rely on her dollar to get her by every single day. I don't feel the sympathy that so many "old men" do, as in I don't want to be a sugar daddy for a lifetime. I feel as if I am acknowledging I'm dating someone with a kid, then I know I need the financial support if I want to take things further one day.. (say marriage or just moving in together).

I think that's what completes some of us male species, we feel somewhat ashamed or unfulfilled if we can not take care of the ones we love whether it be financially or whatever else. Casual relationships are fine, as in you are willing to hold out on "bigger" things and see each other maybe twice a week.

Trust me I'm not heartless and a girl with a kid is a girl all the same in my eyes despite whatever. It's not baggage, but to be in a long relationship you have to look at the numbers eventually. Most people call men weak for this very reason, because they can donate the sperm, but can not take responsibility for the creation of life.


Bez said:
At the girl's mother would just let you do that?
That's incredibly controlling, you can't just force someone to take the pill.

I never said force, but if I am a Dad with a 10 year old daughter or older (kids these days are hitting puberty at a lesser age), I would reveal the opportunities of birth control at first. Also if she intended to be sexually involved which now I think is a .. given (thanks to generations having sex at an earlier age and not waiting on what's good), then I would want her to be safe, it's hard to be a single mom, but not impossible. I just don't want all her opportunities in life to be shot to hell because they were "in the moment."
 
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