Serious My heart is broken

Sir Kenneth

Sir Kenneth

You're f**king out!
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I'm not usually one to make threads like this, but right now I feel lost and so utterly alone and I don't know what to do.

My girlfriend through 6 years (anniversary coming up September 24th) just left the little unit that we share and went to her parents' place. Whether she'll come back is still very much in the open, but I made her promise to at least think it over and hopefully she'll come to the realisation that she still loves me as much as I love her. I've never really been in this situation before, so I don't really know how to react. Do I give her some space or is it time for that grand Hollywood style gesture of love which I probably should have made ages ago?

Any advise is welcome. Wellwishes also.

Thanks for reading.

Kenneth
 
That fucking sucks, bro. :sad3:

A lot of women will attempt to pull this kind of shit, unfortunately. They get tired or bored and just leave. Then to top that shit off, they make it look like you fault.

Fuck that. :mokken:

Did she give you any reasons as to why she left, or did she just walk out and leave?
 
the grand gesture might be too little to late.... i think giving her a little bit of time might be the best for now, grand gestures can always wait til you are over this little bump. naturally let her know you love her still and want her with you, but grand gestures now may look a little contrived.... let her know you want to talk things over but don't push her, it may push her further away

do you know what's brought this on?
 
Well without revealing too much, by the end of last year I was going through some mental health issues (anxiety disorder) which required a lot of her also. I think she feels as if we never really recovered properly from that.
 
Oh man, I'm sorry to hear that Ken. :(

I can't give you advice on anything because I don't know enough about why she left to begin with. Honestly, I don't see a problem with what you did. Maybe with a little space and separation, she'll know how she really feels about you, and vice versa. Sometimes, it takes time apart to realize how much you love someone. This separation might actually pay out big for you.

No matter what happens, I hope it all works out in your favor, sir. :ryan:
 
I dated this girl for 4 years, and it's been a year since we split. I was going through a few things around the house and came across some really old pictures of her. When I saw them, it made me feel better, because I saw the girl I loved in the beginning. Then I see her now and notice how time erased that initial attraction.
In other words, time doesn't make emotions disappear, but rather the person that sparked those emotions.
Maybe you should dig up an old photo and see if she's still the one you need around. If she's still undeniably the same person in the photo, then make a way to get her ass back to reality.

Either way, don't let her think you're worked up too much. She'll take advantage of it.
 
Sir Kenneth said:
Well without revealing too much, by the end of last year I was going through some mental health issues (anxiety disorder) which required a lot of her also. I think she feels as if we never really recovered properly from that.
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Excellent, this is almost the exactly same situation me and my guy are going through.. D=

What happens when someone has some mental issues is that the other is required to be the rock... she has to be strong 100% of the time, she's not allowed to break, because if she does, then you break. She may just be exhausted and need time to recoop from all this time together which may have stressed her out.

I think giving her some time would help, it'll allow her to breathe from the situation, but don't leave it too long, you know? There's isn't any specified amount of time for needed 'space' unfortunately.. But I don't think a Grand Gesture wouldn't hurt.

If you've had issues for a lot of the time and she's had to be strong, maybe she just needs a grand romantic movie gesture of some sort to show her that despite your problems, you're still 100% into it and that together, you two can overcome anything.
 
She may just be exhausted and need time to recoop from all this time together which may have stressed her out.
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I was just about to say this.

If you love her, I think a little bit of time is allowed. Give her some space, but don't wait too long. At the perfect time, show her how much she means to you and that you miss and love her. But if you make the grand gesture before the right time, it could scare her into a deeper situation that couldn't possibly never be mended.

As Channizard said, there isn't really a recorded time to do this, I don't think I could give a time either, but try not to wait too long...you might lose her.
If the relationship meant anything to her at all (it was 6 years, it should) then she will want to work this out and be with you. :)

I'm sorry you are going through this. I hope everything turns out well.
 
Thanks to everyone who posted, some really good advise here.

She came back last night and we hada good talk about what needs to happen between us to make things work. I won't say things are going great again, but at least we are living under the same roof and that is a start...
 
Well I might post, though I'm not sure how kind my words will be. They might be wince worthy.

Coming from a spot where I don't know you or your girlfriend, I can't give my personal beliefs on you two, though I'm sure she had her reasons.

1) Living with someone for that long sometimes makes it feel more like a roomate situation than it should be. So some times, alone time is the better bet personally. If ya'll haven't had much time apart this will either seal the deal (meaning it's over), or she'll realize that you were a counterpart of her. (a good thing)

2) All depending how much you leaned on her for your problems it sometimes is shown as weak in the other person's eyes. Typical marriages/ relationships don't even last from 5-7 years anyways currently. You can't base it on your parents relations or your anyone elses for that matter, because bottom line is.. your relationship is your relationship.

3) She might have already found someone... which would be crushing. Though I know you don't want to admit it to yourself. It's a hard thing bud, because I know I've only left one person in my life, and that was after the person had been away in Mexico for 6 months. The others, well the women had a few kinks in them whether it be demanding of each and every male giving them a gander, or just the need to be always amused, never bored.

Ken, I'm sure you're probably asking why etc etc.. and have 20,000 questions to ask, but I would do one thing for yourself. This time might be the time you need to get some leeway on yourself. Get in touch again with who you are, and do what you need to stay up.

Women make us weak sadly. They can build us up to feel like gods and take it all away at one fell swoop. As long as you always appreciated her, and treated her with respect, I think that's all you can hope she remembers for now. Six years is a long ass time. So hopefully with this you start to build back your inner foundation. And you will become less dependent on the person.

I know what it feels like to lose the only thing you "thought" you knew. So breath and get it all out of your system. Hopefully you got friends around the area to help you through it, but either way.. you gotta find yourself in this bs.
 
mate im sorry to hear things aint going to well. I feel your best bet for now is to give each other some space. as they say distance make the heart grow fonder, she may feel that she wants you and come back before long. good luck mate and hang in there yeah :)
 
How unfortunate for you Kenneth.......being separated is hard, but the feeling of being apart for good is even worse. What you should next is based on the reason for your parting whether it was your fault or hers.

I've been apart from GF for 2 weeks now and its killing! but she is on holiday so its not quite the same but the feeling is comparative, just give it some time and you may decide to move on or fight for her..........If you love her though fight for her.

Is my advice.........
 
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