Serious I can't relate to my peers

[Crazee Dayzee]

Sorry but this is quite a disorganized rant >.> I'm not really thinking as straight lately as I usually do, I'm feeling kinda lopsided and inarticulate..

I lot of times I'm made to feel as if there's something wrong with me. I am not well liked at my school (or any of the schools I've been to), but that's something I've always went through. I am a very "abstract" individual, I think of things people skim over and dig deeply into things. I don't really do small talk. I dress stylishly but very different from everyone else. Now, there's a lot of people who are "odd" like me, but they don't really get shit for it. An overwhelming majority of people shun me and have negative opinions of me, even if I start becoming friends with someone all of a sudden they'll just break off from me and clearly avoid me. I think I might be a mirror of what people hate in themselves or what they're AFRAID OF. I probably subconsciously send the message that I'm very analytical yet lost in my own world, of which despite being so self aware I really have no grounded self. I know everything about myself and the world, yet I know absolutely nothing.

I don't know why this happens! Maybe I do and it's right under my nose and I don't want to accept it?? Teachers really like me a lot, but students all mock me and all that shit. For example, the first day of school in AP Lang my phone was ringing a reggeton ringtone for at least 15 seconds. I couldn't help to cover my mouth and squirm. So some girl says to me "Just go in your bag and turn it off, it's not that hard" and it sounded a little condescending than I would have said it and two girls were giggling quite a bit so I responded "it's not that funny" People say either of a few things: I'm weird, random, or annoying.

I wish if people don't have anything positive to think or say then don't even fucking look at me. If you're going to be like that, then LEAVE ME ALONE. Everyone has a negative opinion about me and I don't like them either. They're a bunch of dumb brats who don't even know how to fucking analyze things properly. They just judge viciously and skim the surface of everything and go on with their blissful pathetic lives. I try REALLY hard to not be bitter towards people but I can't help it, it just becomes a vicious cycle. I feel really awkward around people and I never really talk, only occasionally and when I do people just look at me weird. I make comments about the topic at hand, but a lot of people do that. But when I do it people think it's weird. People also constantly point out when I'm doing something "wrong." Seriously, what do people expect me to say to them? It's not like I can just stay in my own world, people are always involving themselves. It's kind of hard to know if I have bad social skills if you're not with me all the time obviously but it really bothers me and I want to know if they're all just assholes or if I'm extremely unlikable. If I could compare my personality to anyone, like an anime character, it would be Haruhi or Shana I guess.

 

[Bambi]

I wasn't gunna post, because I don't really have anything constructive to say, but well, some people are just cunts, afraid of whats different and lash out at what is. Younger folk especially as the majority are so desperate to 'fit in' with whatever the hell they are trying to fit into, that they would rather follow the crowd and put you down, so folk don't turn their scorn on them

I'm not too sure how old you are, but when you're older it should (hopefully) get easier, people are more interested in the person, it's a bummer that the friends you do have seem to veer off from you, but maybe you just have an older mind and they are too immature to have a decent conversation with you

As for your look, it's yours if people don't like it, well, fuck off I say

I've moved schools abit myself, and trying to get into the already formed cliques is no easy task, I think I've always been pretty lucky though, I was never 'in with the populars' or one of the pretty girls, but I was always well liked by most people, my weirdness was what helped me get by, I don't think, I have anything in common with any of my mates hahaha, but we all appreciate we are all different. My best pal thinks I have the worst taste in clothes ever!

I've probably not helped any, but I've chucked my peanut in anyway And I love your look, I'd like to raid your wardrobe

 

[Kei]

From what I read, I don't find you unlikeable or the people being assholes (except for the bag girl one), I just think you might want to change how to deal with people a little bit.

For example, whenever someone give me a negative comment, I just smile at them (although I'm thinking, shut up you ******* ) I found out that people get close to me a lot when I do that for some reason. >_> Although some hates me real bad.

I don't find anything wrong with your clothes. =O They are cool! Maybe, you should just ignore them, I know I get negative comments because my clothes are a bit messed up but I usually don't care. <_<

I also don't talk when I'm in a group, I always get "Silent person" from the people around me, I just don't find anything to say to be quite honest, although it did me some good, in the girl's department being "dark and mysterious" <-- although I'm neither of them, but you being a girl is a different story. seriously though, don't feel bad about people looking at you in a weird way, it's who you are, if people don't like you for that, then just don't get involved with them it's that simple.

I normally have (Klaxons - Atlantis to Interzone) as my ringtone, if you know the song you will figure out what happens with me >.> I just try to shut it off but normally it takes time with me since I'm not really excited about the class, then I just apologize if I disturbed anyone. By any chance, I got an asshole like the one you talked about, I just reply "oh, thank you, I didn't know how to do that", they usually get irritated and leave me alone.

Maybe in the end you just need to deal with the people, in a more peaceful way even if they are mean to you, it takes patience. You might not be able to hold it in much, since I guess it's all dependent on your personality.

[I'm well aware that my response is some what messed up ]

 

[SaShman]

My best advice would be to join a club that interests you, that way you would be surrounded by people who share the same interests as you. So making conversation will be easier.

Another piece of advice would be to do a lot of physical activity (if you aren't already) and I don't mean going for a walk, I mean tiring yourself out to the point of exhaustion on a few times a week. This is a good technique for several reasons; it makes you fitter, it makes you feel better about yourself (which people will appreciate and be drawn to), it takes your mind off things that may be troubling you and it is a good way to vent any stress you have.

You could kill too birds with one stone by joining a sporting club

For example, the first day of school in AP Lang my phone was ringing a reggeton ringtone for at least 15 seconds. I couldn't help to cover my mouth and squirm. So some girl says to me "Just go in your bag and turn it off, it's not that hard" and it sounded a little condescending than I would have said it and two girls were giggling quite a bit so I responded "it's not that funny" People say either of a few things: I'm weird, random, or annoying.

I can't account for the girl who told you to turn your phone off as I wasn't there so I don't know the full story.. But I'm fairly certain that the two girls would have giggled if it happened to anyone else. I wouldn't take it too personally.

I wish if people don't have anything positive to think or say then don't even fucking look at me. If you're going to be like that, then LEAVE ME ALONE. Everyone has a negative opinion about me and I don't like them either. They're a bunch of dumb brats who don't even know how to fucking analyze things properly. They just judge viciously and skim the surface of everything and go on with their blissful pathetic lives.

How can you expect to relate to anyone if you always assume the worst of them? I understand that there are a lot of people like this, but it's unfair to generalize. If you assume everyone hates you then it will be a lot harder to make friends. Just be friendly, people generally tend to prefer being around people that make them feel good about themselves.

I never really talk, only occasionally and when I do people just look at me weird. I make comments about the topic at hand, but a lot of people do that. But when I do it people think it's weird.

Every person looks at a situation differently. Just because you think they are looking at you weird it doesn't necessarily mean they are. Two people can interpret a situation completely differently, keep this in mind.

I want to know if they're all just assholes or if I'm extremely unlikable. If I could compare my personality to anyone, like an anime character, it would be Haruhi or Shana I guess.

No one is inherently unlikeable. Just be yourself, speak you mind and be friendly.

 

[Ewan]

I used to know a lot of people like that. I think once you move on to bigger things, it'll get better. I noticed a change in people once I went to University. I've found that people tend to be more mature and there isn't the same sort of pressure like there is in school. In school, you have cliques and lots of social pressure to act in a certain way, look a certain way etc and I'm not saying it doesn't exist as you get older, only that it's less intense IMO.

I think it's just finding the right crowd that suits you, and you're more likely to find it as people become more mature and realise that the social ladder in school is just a lot of shit in comparison to real life.

 

[Shu]

sudden they'll just break off from me and clearly avoid me. I think I might be a mirror of what people hate in themselves or what they're AFRAID OF.

That's a bit deep for someone who is younger, though I understand exactly what you mean. I am only assuming you are in high school and during this period you either love highschool, or you hate it. You are in the hate category it seems.

It would be a bit harsh for folks to hate you, due to the fact that they see things in you that they dislike in themselves, though the fear part probably makes a bit more sense. For instance, in high school you have the trend setters, who aren't afraid to do whatever they want and are respected because of their bold personality and don't give a hell attitude. Then you have the people who folks deem as weird for having their own personality, or look to them. Though if you think about it the rest of the folks are just shadows of the trend setters. They follow them, see what they are wearing, how they are looking, what they are listening to, and try to conform and fit in as closely as possible. To me it seems the way you are is different (which is fresh and new to me) though people will not be able to wrap their head around it, until they are a bit older, or who knows they may never mature. So they fear your ability to be bold and different, but you may not have the "outgoing, bubbly, cheerleader" personality like the major trend setter. It may have a lot to do with your social skills as well.

So secondly, on the social skills part. Are you confident? How would you describe yourself? I know some folks hate know it alls.. but I doubt you are one, due to the fact you have already pretty much put most of your personality out there. I was a bit like you, though I did dress like the others and played sports to conform, though the thinking deep part couldn't be disregarded. I blame that on my cousin early in life for his tragedy opening my head up to my surroundings, but I can always say that type of thinking set me WAY apart from others who hadn't been down that similar road. The type of thoughts that make you question your own religion, question why you are learning certain subject material, and question your own moral foundations in which you based your life prior to it on.

Seriously, what do people expect me to say to them? It's not like I can just stay in my own world, people are always involving themselves. It's kind of hard to know if I have bad social skills if you're not with me all the time obviously but it really bothers me and I want to know if they're all just assholes or if I'm extremely unlikable.

I'm not to sure on this one, though the unlikable part seems a bit extreme. Some folks may see you as an act, and may not understand you. They may see you as dressing a bit different as a sort of an attention getter.

Though I think the big thing here is you may be having trouble identifying with anyone period. If you really wish to identify with anyone on a non fake basis, keep being yourself. Though the big thing is keep trying to be socially involved. Find some outlets in which you like, whether it's art, drama, chorus, music, and see if there are any groups or clubs for these. I mean you can certainly find one or two people that like the same thing you do in one of these. If you act fake, and try to fit in on something you don't like, you are destined to end up with crappy friends. (I know from experience) Also you lose a lot of passion in life if you do this, so I hope any of this helped.

Also to conclude, being analytical is awesome. Keep doing what you do. I am WAAAAAAY analytical, even if my act shows otherwise. I question far to much and I dig far to much, though I found a few things that suit my taste and expanded on that.

From Maynard in the band Tool, from my favorite song:

"Over thinking, over analyzing,
separates the body from the mind.
Withering my intuition, leaving opportunities behind.


Feed my will to feel this moment, urging me to cross the line.
Reaching out to embrace the random.
Reaching out to embrace whatever may come."

 

[chronotrigger]

Well, you sound like you are in the same boat I was in throughout all of my school career (which is still going) and it sucks. There's no going about it differently, it just plain bites the big one. I was always shunned as well. I didn't fit into any cliques. Nobody really wanted to talk to me, I was very socially awkward, and when I did get friends, they would either betray me or ditch me. There is no changing your surroundings or the people in them, but you can always change yourself. Not changing who you are, but your view of reality and your outlook on life. I, personally, always found a joke somewhere to make light of situations. Sadly, the joke was only meant for me as I am not quick-witted enough to be 'funny' in an instant. Another thing I did was always remembered that I was me and they were them. I tried to always keep in mind that I don't know their intentions so I couldn't hate them. Not hating and being kind always gains supporters, even if it takes a long time.

Eventually, I made really good friends and I have not lost them. It sometimes just takes awhile and a bit of kindness to realize who is capable of being a good friend and who is just an ass. Always remember also that in school, many of your peers may be going through tough times, had a rough childhood, or are just as socially awkward (in a different way) as you, and thus act rude, childish, immature, and just simply negative because they have not found their way to cope with their problems as well. There is also, always the possibility that they are just too stupid, immature, negative, or ignorant to be a good person. Just try to be as kind, polite, and open as you can be and eventually you will find some people who take to that. You can't win over everybody, or even the majority for that matter, but the ones you will win over are the ones who are worth it. You sound like an intelligent and kind person, so this should be easy enough, and if it doesn't work for you, then you can always relish in the fact that later in life, those people will fade out eventually and be replaced with better people whom you will be able to handle without any work at all.