Good things...

[Demon]

Whenever something good happens to you, are you generally in a sense taking it away from someone else?

For example, if I win a game I'm playing against someone, somebody else loses it. Or if I'm 8th in line to buy something, there's a chance that the 9th in line might get a "Sorry, we're sold out."

This troubles me sometimes... I try to do things in a way which keeps myself and everyone else happy. But then I realize that if I'm particularly happy, I might perhaps have some luxury that, because someone else doesn't have it, they aren't as happy as me.

 

[Big Casino]

WEll the situations your decribing there are pretty much hard luck. If your not first your last. I wouldnt ever make it my mission to make someone feel bad but im not a people pleaser and im not the type to do things for others purely to make them happy, not when it effects me. That sounds harsh but im sure you realise that im not talking about friends. Id march to hell and back for my friends and family but some random ive never met? Sorry yer outta luck.

 

[GalaxyFlare]

Czen you cant account for everyone or everything, your actions can effect others sure
but if you are just acting like a normal person going about your day like shopping snd stuff or buying a game then you have the right to be just as much as anyone else.

Unless you act to spite people with your actions and make others feel bad because have what they want, being childish or mean spirited is not a desired trait in a person, but if you are just acting out of self interest in stead selfishness then you have nothing to fear.

Look at ebay, they have auctions all the time, do you think the people who win the auctions are concerned about those who lose? no of course not they mean them no harm they just want the item as well.

There is no need to feel that way unless yo act towards to being an asshole.

Selflessness is only good in some situation, you cant feel guilty because you have what others want nor can you be grudge those who have what you want either.

Not a smilie in sight?

 

[Squid]

haha wow, whats the point in even going out the house if thats how you feel? Every action you take effects someone else, no matter where you go you'll effect someone somehow. its how the world works. I am sure those other people don't care if the hot dogs run out just as you get to them just because they were before you D:

 

[Demon]

Every action you take effects someone else, no matter where you go you'll effect someone somehow.

It sounds irrational because you're looking at it from your view of perception. Chances are that my view of perception allows me to see a little more reasonableness. For example, the whole "I should do things because I expect others to do the exact same for me, and if they don't, I shouldn't do it" situation doesn't apply quite as much in my perception.

 

[Squid]

well I wasn't saying you shouldn't do it because no one else does it. I'm just saying you shouldn't try to please everyone in such insignificant ways because no one is even going to know you've done it for them so what do you get out of it?

 

[Demon]

well I wasn't saying you shouldn't do it because no one else does it. I'm just saying you shouldn't try to please everyone in such insignificant ways because no one is even going to know you've done it for them so what do you get out of it?

But why should I propose "your" moral argument into my thinking? To me, I'm simply talking about perception... if I expected something in return and didn't get it, then we have a moral issue. But I'm not sure if my perception even understands why we should expect something in return when we do something.

 

[Squid]

you should probably propose my idea because its a less stressful more fulfilling way to live without worrying about every little thing you're doing and how it will affect the strangers around you.

and anyway, I'm not trying to tell you what to do, i was just adding to the conversation D:

 

[Demon]

you should probably propose my idea because its a less stressful more fulfilling way to live without worrying about every little thing you're doing and how it will affect the strangers around you.

and anyway, I'm not trying to tell you what to do, i was just adding to the conversation D:

What? You don't want to argue?

Anyway, I can kind of see how this thread took an undesirable turn or two. First, I never said that I "felt" toward something, I just said "it troubled me" which is what I see as an objective way of looking at it. It shouldn't affect your argument, it was just my method of relaying a point. Second, I never said that all examples had to involve strangers per se - chances are that if you want to do something genuine for someone, you about have to see them as more than just a stranger, so the problem doesn't really exist - even if that person is, in truth, kind of a stranger.

 

[Bambi]

Whenever something good happens to you, are you generally in a sense taking it away from someone else?

No, unless you are doing something intentally malicious. If it's just something like a job, well, it's just the way the world works. If you try your hardest to get summat, and you do, meaning someone else misses out. well thats just unlucky for them

For example, if I win a game I'm playing against someone, somebody else loses it. Or if I'm 8th in line to buy something, there's a chance that the 9th in line might get a "Sorry, we're sold out."

Shit happens, they shoulda been quicker. Rather then than you

This troubles me sometimes... I try to do things in a way which keeps myself and everyone else happy. But then I realize that if I'm particularly happy, I might perhaps have some luxury that, because someone else doesn't have it, they aren't as happy as me.

You can rarely keep everyone happy, when you try to do that, you will find that you make folk unhappy, and more often than not, yourself as well. You cant please everyone

I prefer to live in my own little bubble. As long as myself and the people I care about are fine then sod everyone else. I know it's a selfish view, but their enough do gooders out there to make up for it. I'd much rather a stranger go without than myself or someone I know (and like )

 

[Valkyrur]

Hm. I actually pondered over this same notion before, and the conclusion that I came to is a rather apathetic 'too bad'. In my honest opinion, life's pretty much a game, there's the ups, there's the downs. My win which implicitly, or in certain cases, explicitly, caused his loss, is inevitable. And honestly, like what Gord Lolbez (LOL, interesting name) said, that person could have put in more effort to win.

That, and I guess it's better to be more optimistic to think that that person would have learned something from it.

It's probably going to be really difficult to stay happy if you're going to try so hard to please everyone.

 

[Sepalcure]

To be a bit off topic, Happy Belated New Years to all the posters and the OP of this 'ere thread.

Okay, well I agree with Gord Lolbez's sentiments, we live in a society of winners and losers. It's inevitable that someone along the course of their day is going to luck out. Most of the opportunities we have at our fingertips we either luck out on or strike gold, grasping unto. When you walk into a job interview, for instance, you're up against 50 or so more candidates that are just as anxious and hopefully just as optimistic about getting the job as you (not counting the resident pessimists thrown into the mix). If you luck out then you have other avenues and opportunities that will eventually pop up, some better than the one you tried out for.

Life was not designed for a host of people to make everyone, strangers included happy all of the time. It's virtually impossible to please everyone although I'm sure some people would find it to be a luxuriously nice gift to have. If you're 8th in line and the person behind you is 9th in line and they happen to be unable to purchase some items of their choice because it's out of stock . . . should you be bothered? No, you shouldn't, for all you know something great will happen to them when they arrive home, maybe they'll win the lottery.

You can neither indirectly or directly change nor perceive how a stranger will be affected by what you do; not in every situation. Selflessness can either be a gift or a curse depending on just how much you apply it to certain everyday situations. Donating to charities, volunteering at soup kitchens, visiting sick children dying of cancer and other ailments, are all ways of being selfless. Giving a homeless person some money is selfless but boo-hooing over the fact that you earned a top spot over 5 other eligible subordinates in a corporation will get you no where. It's a fucking cut throat world, you have to deal with the fact that there are winners and losers in not only the corporate world but in life. Take your opportunities and be selfish about it, if you want to succeed, some people unfortunately, have to take the axe.

Personally, that's the ideology that I apply to my own life. I'm not living to please the random strangers on the street. Yes, I'll give money to the poor, give away my old clothing to kids dying from Lupus, but when it comes to my own happiness and the well being of the ones I love, I hoard that and nurture it as much as I can. I'm not going to sit and cry because someone lucked out on an opportunity I worked for or I happened to get because I was at the right place at the right time. I'm not saying you should do the same but you should consider it, it's the workings of the world, my dear.