Serious Do you think this is alright?

Ayumi Hamasaki

Ayumi Hamasaki

It's a beautiful dream, but a dream is earned
Veteran
Joined
Sep 25, 2009
Messages
1,668
Location
Kentucky
Gil
21
I'm going to tell you a story, but I'm taking out names. It's about my cousin, who was recently commited. I won't say where, but I will share why.

My cousin has always hate slight issues with authority, to put it bluntly, he was always a bit of a smartass, but he was also like ten or eleven. My aunt, his mom, didn't care to parent, or to do anything, and when somebody else tried to step in, she would go all pysco on them. So, things were okay for a while, but then something like three years ago, problems began.

My cousin didn't want to go to school anymore, and my aunt was trying to make him. She would call him names, horrible horrible names, and, at times, get physically violent with him. He was 13, I think. I might add at this moment, that my aunt is unmarried, and that my cousin has never met his father. Despite his father trying. Anway, so things got worse and worse, and the school finally stepped in, and sent him to alternative school.

He was okay there for a while, but then my aunt started visiting him, and things went down hill. The state took him away from her, and he was put in boarding school, where he tried to run away. Then, he was recently put into what amounts to a mental hospital.

Isn't that fucked up? I mean it's her fault, not his, she should be the one in the hospital. My cousin was like my little brother, and now he's life is fucked up because of her.

I just had to share it with other people to see their reactions to it. So, please tell me yours.
 
Wow! number one, I've seen this before and you, being his cousin and all, should do anything you can to help him. Its easy to just stand on the sidelines and watch someone elses worl just fall apart, but you should do your part and step in. Make sure justic is served!!!!!!!!

My mother was doing almost the same to me, and if it wasnt for my friends stepping in and helping me, she wouldnt have changed her ways at all. You could try to convince your aunt to see her own faults but it takes years to do....honestly, only you can help your cousin. Do anything you can to get involved!!!

When someones life is going downhill, it can only get worse....Its almost suicide worthy. If I were you I'd try to find a way to fix the situation fast!

Crazy bitches piss me off!!!!!!! grrrrr...
 
Let's take a step back.

It may be the aunt's fault that the cousin is struggling so much, that's true. But that wouldn't change the fact that he still needed help. If a mental hospital is the best step for him, that's where he should be, regardless of why he's there. They won't keep him there just for the sake of keeping there. If he's deemed fit to be discharged, then he'll be able to leave. The state has already deemed the aunt unfit to have custody, so we'd have to be hopeful they wouldn't backtrack on that upon his release. That's an area where you could step in and help, making sre she doesn't regain custody.

So to sum up, it might not be so bad a thing if he gets the help he needs.
 
No, I don't neccesarily think that it's a bad thing either. I know that he needs help, but I also know that if, as they are currently planning, they give him back to her, there's going to be more problems. I have said things, and I've tried my best to get people to understand and listen, but I'm sort of at wit's end over it.

I just think that whatever help he gets, she's always going to undo. She needs help, too, but no one's saying that to her. Okay, my mom did once, but it didn't turn out well at all.
 
Why can't his dad now step in now that she no longer has custody of him?
 
The thing is, the state keeps giving him back to her, so I'm not really sure how the custody thing works. My aunt sort of chased the dad off anyway, because he wouldn't take her back. Plus, his dad isn't that great of a person either, does drugs and stuff.

It just makes me sad to think that anyone would have to go through all of this, and at an age when you're already going through more than enough.
 
I think you should try explaining to him that him building his own future is important. Try to get him to not focus on all of the negatives and to get in a situation where he can actively work towards improving his situation. It might not be possible or it might be hard to find a way for him to understand and relate.
 
In cases like these, it's not just an individual thing. I think both parties need to be involved in the treatment and that doesn't seem to be happening here. It's unfortunate, but sometimes the parents assume it's just the kids fault and them only, but in many situations, they are also part of the problem, too. This sounds like one of those cases. If you're just treating one party, chances are, the problems won't go away. If the state returns her son back to her, it is likely things will revert back to how they were because she was not given any alternative ways to work constructively with her son in order to work out their issues.

Although your cousin can do what he can to try and alleviate the situation, chances are, things won't change much with her. He can only control himself and his behaviors, but sometimes that's just not enough. It's sad, but true. Only trying to fix one issue but ignoring the other.
 
I saw my cousin this weekend, and he seemed okay, not great but good. I hope that he's going to get his act together, and that she will to, but she seemed the same. She called him names, and treated him badly. I tried to call her out on it, but I don't think it does any good.

Anyway, I tried to encourage him to be good and do good things.

Thanks for listening.
 
How old is he? If he's capable of living on his own, he may want to consider filing for emancipation. That would solve the custody issue, and get him away from his aunt, if he wanted.
 
Last edited:
padmelover said:
Isn't that fucked up? I mean it's her fault, not his, she should be the one in the hospital. My cousin was like my little brother, and now he's life is fucked up because of her.

I just had to share it with other people to see their reactions to it. So, please tell me yours.
Click to expand...

Maybe if you want answers, you should try talking to her.

Be a little bitch about it, go cry to Social Services and keep them hot on her trail or something. Maybe she's just holding onto him for the Child Support check and feeding him lunchables or some shit.

(I am by no means trying to demean you or insult you btw :awesome:)

A lot of parents don't realize that money doesn't belong to them at all. Even though my Mom is the greatest thing in my life, she's no exception either.

Though the check was usually used on important things, like helping pay the rent, buying food, etc., she sometimes used it to by things like Cigarettes and probably never took me shopping for things because all I ever wanted was action figures and video games.

I realize now that she was probably just trying to keep me from growing up to be a spoiled little brat, but it still doesn't feel right.

I mean, since she's gained custody over your cousin, has she obtained some nicer things around the house that she normally would not have been able to purchase?

It might just be something to look into.
 
Oh, I wasn't entirely clear, was I? It's his mom, who is also my aunt. Sorry!!

How old do you have to be to get that done? He's only 14, so I think that he is too young still. I honestly don't think he could care for himself even if he was old enough. She may be the majority of the problem, but he is part of it too. What he needs is someone to take care of him.
 
Yeah, 14 is too young. Most of the cases I've heard of generally involve kids who are at least 16. And if he wouldn't take care of himself anyway, then it's out of the picture. And something has to go really, really bad for a court to take a child away from its mother. I don't know, he might just have to ride it out for a while, and hope for the best.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top