Changing People

[Bambi]

I don't think you can evaluate yourself on every little thing, you would go insane. If some one says 'I don't like this' and it's never been an issue to you then I don't see why you should stop and think about it.
Some people will nitpick about everything others just coast along and don't really care if you sit and pick your nose or fart in public

If I analysed myself everytime someone said 'ooh thats a bad habit you should really think about not doing it' Id be buggered Id have a list to go through. I just write most comments off. Il consider the serious stuff but meh, more often than not Il just do what I want anyway, it's all my quirks and foibles that make me who I am

 

[Red Rose]

I don't think you can evaluate yourself on every little thing, you would go insane. If some one says 'I don't like this' and it's never been an issue to you then I don't see why you should stop and think about it.
Some people will nitpick about everything others just coast along and don't really care if you sit and pick your nose or fart in public

If I analysed myself everytime someone said 'ooh thats a bad habit you should really think about not doing it' Id be buggered Id have a list to go through. I just write most comments off. Il consider the serious stuff but meh, more often than not Il just do what I want anyway, it's all my quirks and foibles that make me who I am

I mean mainly stuff like oh constantly saying mean things to ppl like going around and calling ppl sluts or messing around with ppls lives mainly the bigger petty habit's.

Now if I accidently slipped up and said something I shouldn't have said it's a W/e I messed up.

But if I was doing things that constantly effected other ppl in a negative way. It should be healthy to look into it every now and again.

If it was a big issue I wanted to ignore I would like someone to pop me one and tell me if it's really that important. Main things I say that we should look into is

Health, Social/Relationships and bad habits that are bad for others and yourself but if it's like oh you said dah dah dah dah dah to so and so. Meh it's w/e but if I was trying to constantly cut p0pl down or pushing ppl to do things I wanted to do I would like to be told that and take a look

minor junk = ignoring
more than minor = should look at

I'm not that good at explaining so you have to forgive me x.x

 

[Mitsuki]

Ah, I'm actually kinda in-between most of you guys. Yes, I view "change" as a good thing, as long as it's for a better cause. It just depends on the matter.

Let's say I have a friend who's heading down the wrong path and miles away, I can see him getting harmed (and others) because of the choices he's making. Would I tell him to change...? Of course; without a doubt - because I do care what would happen to him. It's him that I'm in the lookout for, not myself. What's the benefit for me? Nothing. For him...? (Get the gist?)

Now, if it's changing someone's looks...anything that's physical, then no, I wouldn't change a thing about someone. But then again, that depends on people. Some people do look for changes and ask others for advices. If I was asked, then sure, I'd give any advices I could think of without offending anyone.

In the end, the purposes behind it is what usually matters. Just make sure you're not out to offend or change anyone just to better suit your needs.

 

[Leki]

Ah, I'm actually kinda in-between most of you guys. Yes, I view "change" as a good thing, as long as it's for a better cause. It just depends on the matter.

Let's say I have a friend who's heading down the wrong path and miles away, I can see him getting harmed (and others) because of the choices he's making. Would I tell him to change...? Of course; without a doubt - because I do care what would happen to him. It's him that I'm in the lookout for, not myself. What's the benefit for me? Nothing. For him...? (Get the gist?)

Now, if it's changing someone's looks...anything that's physical, then no, I wouldn't change a thing about someone. But then again, that depends on people. Some people do look for changes and ask others for advices. If I was asked, then sure, I'd give any advices I could think of without offending anyone.

In the end, the purposes behind it is what usually matters. Just make sure you're not out to offend or change anyone just to better suit your needs.

Mitsuki, you are quite smart.

I find changing your appearance can be harmful.... but I guess everyone can't be at least acceptable of their natural appearance. I don't even like make-up.

And as for changing people, as someone said before, what you tell people, comment, or construcitvely criticise... that's just YOUR view. It doesn't necessarily make it right. That's why it can be such a touchy thing, to change people.

As for the health thing, people can do what they want with their bodies, and if they die for it? Well, it's not like the world is at a loss for humans. There's billions of us.

 

[Lirael]

I say that changes that have beneficial results, such as being more healthy, are fine, and sometimes even expected in long-term relationships. [It's easier to commit to something like improving health habits when you have someone to help you every step of the way.] But then it comes to changes in a person's actual personality traits...that's when it's just a bad, nuh-uh, not-gonna-happen idea.

This is a pretty good summary of my thoughts on the topic.

I don't like the idea of changing someone's personality traits... Firstly, I would want someone to love and accept me for who I was. I've been down a route in which I changed myself for someone else before and it just left me feeling very unhappy. I felt unloved, I had to suppress my personality... I'd hate anyone to experience that because of me. In the end, I re-embraced my true self and admitted my love of Disney, and it was almost liberating.

Secondly, there's no point changing someone's personality because, most of the time, you'll just be forcing them to be deceitful. Either that or their gestures will be empty. Chris isn't romantic. He thinks romantic gestures are cliche and just a charade. I, on the other hand, love romance, but not for its own sake. I love what it means to me, the feelings it indicates. I would hate Chris to be romantic just to make me happy if it means nothing to him.



Then we come to changes that are good... Encouraging someone to improve their diet, to exercise more, or perhaps work a little harder, is a good thing. Obviously, there's a difference between encouraging someone and forcing them. Using force isn't helpful.