Leaked Dissidia2 Design Document [Parody]

Mordax Praetorian

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Dissidia II is set to include a new character from each game FFI-X and as in
the original game, a secret bonus character each from a lame FF spin off and
also FFXII

FFI - Black Mage of Light

As would logically be expected the Black Mage's Brave attacks would be stabby
attacks with his knife, during which he will rage about how he hates the world
- particularly Warrior of Light

Black Mage's only HP attack is of course the Hadouken

For his EX Mode, Black Mage becomes the Emperor of Hell, however due to a
programming glitch because of the name, he infact becomes The Emperor and goes
into his EX Mode instead

FFII - Lion

Lion's defining power is his betray ability, which toggles the victory music
between Cosmos and Chaos

A particular quirk to Lion, is that whenever he is played, he is mysteriously
always well above, or well below the desired (picked) level, thus being true
to the original game

FFIII - Onion Knight

This Onion Knight is a pallette swapped clone of the original, and apart from
having its own story mode and level and entry on the character roster, he is
exactly the same as the old Onion Knight

Their story modes are also nearly identical, as the 2 Onion Knights always
travel together, however only one of them ever speaks

FFIV - Edward

Edward's Brave attacks consist of long ranged, low damage attacks with his
harp, instead of having HP attacks, Edward may Hide, this removes him from the
battlefield until he wants to come out, usually to grab an EX-Core

Gaining EX-Mode is still no victory for Edward, as his EX Burst (which is
impossible to activate because he still has no HP attack) dispenses healing
items and thus cannot win the match.

Edward must obtain victory through Chase Sequences, completing what is the
most irritating character ever

FFV - Gilgamesh

True to the original game, most of Gilgamesh's attacks simply involve him
speaking, during these dialogs, he unintentionally taunts the enemy, causing
them to gain Brave

All of this is purely to buy time however, since at a random point, Gilgamsh
will find the Exilubur (or is it) and be able to execute his single deadly HP
attack

If the Excalibur was the real one, then damage will occur, if it was not,
then Gilgamesh will become confused and hang on to the sword for another few
HP attacks before realising that he is found the Excalipoor (again) and
tossing the sword aside

FFVI - Gau

Gau carries forward his old collecting mechanic from the original game, any
time that Gau is fighting in the Veldt arena, he may use his Leap ability to
instantly end the battle with no result

When this is done, Gau remains unselectable until at the end of a random later
battle, also in the Veldt arena, Gau returns with a new Rage

Gau equips Rages "based on" the character he was fighting against either when
he lept, or returned, there is one Rage for each character (including
different manniquins), and while Raging Gau performs random HP attacks at set
intervals

FFVII - Rufus

As per the original game, Rufus is handy with a pistol, and has many ranged
attacks that travel quickly, however it is Rufus' EX Mode where he really
comes into his own

Upon entering EX Mode, Rufus assumes his Advent Children form, the Wheelchair
obviously has a great many advantages, providing Rufus with a stable firing
platform to shoot from, eliminating his Recoil mechanic, and preventing him
from being knocked down

FFVIII - Rinoa

Rinoa's array of attacks include the deadly "pout and fall over" attack, and
later other classics such as "trip and fall off cliff"

Her major mechanic however is Angelo, who appears randomly, completely
interrupting the flow of combat and doing small and irrelevant things

For her EX Burst, Rinoa will perform the dreaded Angelo Cannon, wherin she
sexually abuses her canine companion, causing him to leap at the enemy in
surprise and anger

FFIX - Dagger

Dagger is a powerful choice with her array of high damage summon magic, and
her unique ability to heal herself. Since such potant abilities obviously
require a drawback, the decision has been made to include an element of
Dagger's most memorable moment from the original game

When performing any action (including movement) there is a good possibility
of the action failing, and being replaced with the words "Command Failed,
Dagger cannot concentrate"

Additionally, as in the original game, her EX Mode does nothing

FFX - Yu Yevon

As many fans informed us that we made the wrong choice of villian from FFX in
the last game, we have endevoured to rectify this mistake here

Opponents of Yu Yevon will ressurect to full life upon any death with no
explanation offered as to why, this will leave Yu Yevon with absolutely no
chance of winning, however we feel that fans will embrace the nostalgia, as
when they complained about Jecht, this was the only other villian they could
possibly have wanted

FFCrystal Chronicles - Sol Racht

As a Lility, Sol's only worthwhile Brave attack is his Melee Combo, and his
only HP attack is the Focus Attack, which can take the form of a magic blast
or lunge depending on his equipment

As in the original game, Sol is followed by a Moogle carrying a Challice
Should Sol move too quickly, and step outside the bubble, he will be consumed
by the Miasma, and die fairly quickly

We feel that Sol will fill the roll of a shallow, simple character for our
fans who are not used to fighting games, as his only tactical mechanic rewards
slow movements anyway

FFXII - Reks

We had thought that we could no longer get away with excluding Vaan from the
game, which would undoubtedly lower sales as he is a failed protagonist

However we then noticed a trend in the Heroes from the original game - in each
case they were the first character that the player had control of in that
particular game, and this undisputably makes Reks the hero of FFXII

As per the original game, Reks is mostly a melee expert, who occasionally
parries with his shield.

Upon entering EX Mode, the millions of despirate prayers from Vaan hating fans
finally have an affect, and Reks begins to be elevated to the status of a
protagonist

During Rek's EX Burst, his final moments are acted out, and the player must
input commands representing the will of the fans calling out to him, if the
player fails in these inputs, Reks will be killed by Gabranth and lose the
match, however if successful, then Reks will hear the voices of the fans and
block the attack, leaving him in an even greater super mode, as the true
protagonist of FFXII
 
Ummm...yeah what he said. They've already stated they're not making a Dissidia 2 as of right now, so you really kinda just wasted your time posting all that.

*moved to FF Fun*
 
I wouldn't mind some of those characters for a Dissidia:FF 2 - e.g. Rufus ShinRa, Gilgamesh and Yu Yevon (love his description by the way XD)

This may now be classed as a spam thread, but its a good one lol
 
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lol thats was pretty funny. I didn't notice that you put parody in the title. I was thinking "what the hell?" when I was reading about Rufus and his wheelchair.
 
Hey it could be worse

One of my friends got right the way up to Yu Yevon before he realised it wasn't legit

Some people have too much faith in me
 
This is not convincing at all. This is far too good to be Dissidia.
 
FFVIII - Rinoa

Rinoa's array of attacks include the deadly "pout and fall over" attack, and
later other classics such as "trip and fall off cliff"

Her major mechanic however is Angelo, who appears randomly, completely
interrupting the flow of combat and doing small and irrelevant things

For her EX Burst, Rinoa will perform the dreaded Angelo Cannon, wherin she
sexually abuses her canine companion, causing him to leap at the enemy in
surprise and anger

If she was put in Dissidia 2, she would definetly come as she has in Dead Fantasy, with her uber soceress powers and all. They might put angelo in her attack reputoire, but I doubt it.
 
Robo Destroyer posted this on Dissidia Forums, but you'll notice that he credits me at the bottom

Dissidia Forums and I have history, and although its not by choice I suppose you could even call us enemies
 
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