My brother just sent me this, made me lol so I thought Id share
It finally happened. After an agonising 24 minute labour, the aptly named Damien has wormed his way out of what is now a very sore ringer. I pushed, he pulled, he gripped onto both sides and then the hairs never giving up even after the key sphincter round but I won.
I took a look at him down the toilet bowl. It wasn't like all the others. I could have sworn he winked at me and gave me the middle finger. Cheeky little fucker. He had a handful of my anal hair and a little blood. Either he was bleeding or I was but I was euphoric.
The boulder named Damien was out and by golly what an achievement. I can not focus on the home surgery to remedy his wounds.
I expected a forever wipe using half a roll of toilet paper to clean up what remained of my anus but nothing. Not even dried in shit from the previous labour. Not even blood. I dug around with the finger buried in the tissue but nothing.
I took a look at him down the toilet bowl. It wasn't like all the others. I could have sworn he winked at me and gave me the middle finger. Cheeky little fucker. He had a handful of my anal hair and a little blood. Either he was bleeding or I was but I was euphoric.
The boulder named Damien was out and by golly what an achievement. I can not focus on the home surgery to remedy his wounds.
I expected a forever wipe using half a roll of toilet paper to clean up what remained of my anus but nothing. Not even dried in shit from the previous labour. Not even blood. I dug around with the finger buried in the tissue but nothing.
That is how selfish Damien was. He didn't shed the outer 5% of his body mass on the way out and leave something for me to clean up. He kept his full 100% mass just to make it difficult to squeeze him past the gates of heaven
Resistance is futile cunt. I hope the rats in the sewers not only eat you but I hope they break you down and poison you so this world never has to see your type again.
Resistance is futile cunt. I hope the rats in the sewers not only eat you but I hope they break you down and poison you so this world never has to see your type again.
