What's wrong with being feminine?

[Rydia]

So I tend to notice, that when there is a character in a movie or TV show that acts feminine, you know, enjoys activities that are more stereotypically girly, people seem to get upset. They complain that said character is not a strong female role model, that it's stereotypical and sexist. And I'm not talking about just passive or damsel in distress characters. Any female character, no matter how tough or agressive she is can get bashed for liking something that is more associated with girls.

But doesn't that just say that, in order for a girl to be considered strong, she must act like a man? that sounds more sexist than someone who genuinly enjoys cooking. And what is wrong with girly activities or hobbies?

Ballet takes a lot of skill and strength. Much more than most people realize.

Sowing something and making it look good takes a lot of precision and skill.

Figure Skating and gymnastics are some of the hardest and most athletically demanding sports.

Cooking a good meal takes practice.

And no one complains when a male character takes part in activities more associated with men.

I like characters such as Katara from Avatar and Rachel from animorphs because while they are very feminine characters, they still kick ass.

 

[Valvalis]

For me, the whole idea of any activities being polarized towards one gender or another (except maybe giving birth XD) seems silly. But I think the problem is, in order to try to break one stereotype, there has to be a strong movement in favor of the opposite side, and I think that may be why a lot of people bash the more feminine, or sometimes "damsel-in-distress" figures lately. As in, in order to break the "feminine" stereotype, there has to be a strong presence of "anti-feminine" women to get the picture across to everyone. And then over time, I think the idea may be like rocking a boat from side to side, eventually it will even out, level off, and then no gender roles will exist; that would be the ideal in my eyes, anyway. That at one point, no one will be able to say "oh, you're such a girly girl for cooking" or "oh, you're such a macho man for playing sports," etc. I hope this makes sense, I'm not sure how better to explain it really

I know for me personally, as far as having a problem with more feminine girls, I do hold some personal bitterness towards them that developed as a result of my personal life growing up--I was overlooked by guys all the time because they preferred more feminine women; even if those women would bitch privately about having to put on makeup all the time and that wasn't really what they liked, they still got what they wanted because they were comfortable putting on a facade, and I wanted to be myself, and I thought it was wrong that guys didn't appreciate that. However, if gender stereotypes were broken down and destroyed, then this issue wouldn't exist in the first place, because guys wouldn't look at people like stars like Beyonce (no offense because I do like her) and think all women should be like that. The appreciation of characteristics in the opposite sex is largely due to social conditioning; we're taught from a young age to like certain things and find them attractive, whether we would have felt that way on our own or not.

 

[Dee]

All I can do is speak for myself, and while I admit I prefer women who act like shitheads towards anyone (male or female), is able to kick ass and take names, whether that be physically, mentally or emotionally, I am simply more drawn to them. However, if they happen to figure skate or sow or do ballet (which I think is amazing, btw), it's not going to make me dislike them. What bothers me the most is when a woman is extremely emotional; not in the way that society tends to think that females are naturally more emotional than their male counterparts, but because it makes me uncomfortable and I find it as weak and vulnerable in any gender--except for certain situations.

In any case, there's nothing wrong with acting or being what many consider feminine. And there's nothing wrong with acting more masculine either. What's wrong is that folks are labeling these things as feminine and masculine in the first place which is where the root of the problem begins. If you don't want to stereotype gender activities, then don't give them a proper gender to be associated with. Quite obviously that'll never go away, but you don't have to be a part of the problem. If you want to be appreciated for your feminine traits, then there's no way we're going to get passed the issue. It's a two-way road.