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Here are this year's jokes for the voting round!
Please don't vote for your own jokes.Here are the jokes:
SOLDIER Director: "You three wish to join SOLDIER? Alright, tell me what each of you brings to the table."
Candidate A: "I can do 1,000 squats without breaking a sweat."
Candidate B: "I got top marks on a shooting course back home at Junon, sir!"
Candidate C: "I have the power of hindsight."
SOLDIER Director: "That doesn't really help us."
Candidate C: "Yes, I can see that now..."
***
Joke 2:What do you call a pair of Shoopufs?
Solemates
***
Joke 3:What do you get if you cross Kimahri with a unicorn?
A horse.
***
Joke 4:Xu quickly runs to the hall in the Balamb Garden. There, Cid Kramer smiles when talking to his students building an orchestra.
Cid is looking at the banner hanging on the orchestra. He smiles and says: “Welcome home, sweethearts!” That’s good. The red font fits well with this time, but adding “s” to the word is way more intelligent since I’ll get a daughter-in-law soon… Okay, guys, listen to me. I know you’re very busy with the annual examination, but today is a great day for all of us. Christmas is coming, and I have received the best gift I’ve ever received before. My wife. She is back in one piece. Through many years, we were separated. She told me she would become a monster and decided to leave me alone with our kids. She wanted me to fight her to death one day to protect everybody because I’m an adult and, more importantly, have the whole experience of fighting someone like her…
“Sir…” Xu whispers, out of breath, going around to retake her breath.
Cid still smiles and talks to his students: … but she was also afraid I wouldn't have enough to raise our children and prepare to fight her in the future as well, so she gave me all her assets and a book “Investissement. How to build a school for yourself”. The book is quite hard for me to read, especially about a bastard guy who takes all his students to an island and lets them fight each other to death. But, because of our dream, I read it all day and tried to remember everything I could. Thank her book, this institute is finally completed. But more importantly, now I don’t need to fight my wife to the death anymore, and…Well, although we haven’t had any children of our own yet, I don’t intend to discuss that with her since she has just returned and needs time to take a rest. By the way, Squall is my best student, and we always consider him our good son. Of course, we believe all of you are our sons and daughters, but Squall will be your eldest brother…
“Sir…” Xu whispers again. Cid still talks to people. He begins to cry: …I can’t believe my little Squall has grown up. Perhaps I don’t need to tell you about every trouble he has brought us. Not wait until the time he decided to kill my wife. I’ve hated him since he was a child. That time, on a Christmas day, he got a lot of demons to my house to practice. I was enjoying a good cake with some tea beside the warm fire… They messed up and threatened to eat me if I didn't enjoy their claws. Everything was because he trusted my wife’s joke that they wouldn’t scratch you but punch you only. But those creatures weren’t my worry. I was afraid he would never get a girlfriend and marry her if he couldn’t understand when people joked with him and when they didn’t. Thank God for sending a girl who looks like him to make him change completely. Since then, he has become a man of duty, even succeeding to not killing my wife but bringing her back. He… oh, I shouldn’t have cried. Sorry…Uh… He makes me remember my time before when I struggled with difficulties and obstacles to achieve success and married a beautiful woman. But he could get married sooner than me, that is really one thing he’s better than me. Now he asked me to create a wedding for him if one day he could go back with his lover... Guys, I didn’t really hesitate to pour all my money into his wedding, just like in the old time when I was investing in building this school. Hell yeah! We’ll have three parties in a day: one is for my wife and me, two is for his wedding, and three is for Christmas time, though I am still concerned about the mother-in-law pestering her daughter-in-law time since my wife sometimes punched me when she was angry. But I still always feel okay, even after seeing that she had punched Mr. Delling to death right in front of people. Haha! Sorry for joking I'm happy. I shouldn’t have been impolite like that. My apology. Ahem, okay guys, remember that whatever happens, you still love your wife as your mother. You are not demons. And one more thing. Solving all problems with your fists is never a good way. That’s what I taught Squall to make him become an intellectual and successful man like me. Indeed, remember that “a pen is mightier than a sword”. Therefore, you guys must become intellectual warriors. Okay? Right. Back to the main point, please hold those instruments for me. I want all of you to practice music for events...
Xu can’t wait anymore. She puts her mouth next to his ear and whispers fast: Sir, we have bad news from Esthar. Squall is fighting Mrs. Krammer with his sword again since she tried to punch Ms. Heartilly for punching all scientists there after waking up. Now they’re fighting each other to death.
Cid: WHAT?
Cid is looking at the banner hanging on the orchestra. He smiles and says: “Welcome home, sweethearts!” That’s good. The red font fits well with this time, but adding “s” to the word is way more intelligent since I’ll get a daughter-in-law soon… Okay, guys, listen to me. I know you’re very busy with the annual examination, but today is a great day for all of us. Christmas is coming, and I have received the best gift I’ve ever received before. My wife. She is back in one piece. Through many years, we were separated. She told me she would become a monster and decided to leave me alone with our kids. She wanted me to fight her to death one day to protect everybody because I’m an adult and, more importantly, have the whole experience of fighting someone like her…
“Sir…” Xu whispers, out of breath, going around to retake her breath.
Cid still smiles and talks to his students: … but she was also afraid I wouldn't have enough to raise our children and prepare to fight her in the future as well, so she gave me all her assets and a book “Investissement. How to build a school for yourself”. The book is quite hard for me to read, especially about a bastard guy who takes all his students to an island and lets them fight each other to death. But, because of our dream, I read it all day and tried to remember everything I could. Thank her book, this institute is finally completed. But more importantly, now I don’t need to fight my wife to the death anymore, and…Well, although we haven’t had any children of our own yet, I don’t intend to discuss that with her since she has just returned and needs time to take a rest. By the way, Squall is my best student, and we always consider him our good son. Of course, we believe all of you are our sons and daughters, but Squall will be your eldest brother…
“Sir…” Xu whispers again. Cid still talks to people. He begins to cry: …I can’t believe my little Squall has grown up. Perhaps I don’t need to tell you about every trouble he has brought us. Not wait until the time he decided to kill my wife. I’ve hated him since he was a child. That time, on a Christmas day, he got a lot of demons to my house to practice. I was enjoying a good cake with some tea beside the warm fire… They messed up and threatened to eat me if I didn't enjoy their claws. Everything was because he trusted my wife’s joke that they wouldn’t scratch you but punch you only. But those creatures weren’t my worry. I was afraid he would never get a girlfriend and marry her if he couldn’t understand when people joked with him and when they didn’t. Thank God for sending a girl who looks like him to make him change completely. Since then, he has become a man of duty, even succeeding to not killing my wife but bringing her back. He… oh, I shouldn’t have cried. Sorry…Uh… He makes me remember my time before when I struggled with difficulties and obstacles to achieve success and married a beautiful woman. But he could get married sooner than me, that is really one thing he’s better than me. Now he asked me to create a wedding for him if one day he could go back with his lover... Guys, I didn’t really hesitate to pour all my money into his wedding, just like in the old time when I was investing in building this school. Hell yeah! We’ll have three parties in a day: one is for my wife and me, two is for his wedding, and three is for Christmas time, though I am still concerned about the mother-in-law pestering her daughter-in-law time since my wife sometimes punched me when she was angry. But I still always feel okay, even after seeing that she had punched Mr. Delling to death right in front of people. Haha! Sorry for joking I'm happy. I shouldn’t have been impolite like that. My apology. Ahem, okay guys, remember that whatever happens, you still love your wife as your mother. You are not demons. And one more thing. Solving all problems with your fists is never a good way. That’s what I taught Squall to make him become an intellectual and successful man like me. Indeed, remember that “a pen is mightier than a sword”. Therefore, you guys must become intellectual warriors. Okay? Right. Back to the main point, please hold those instruments for me. I want all of you to practice music for events...
Xu can’t wait anymore. She puts her mouth next to his ear and whispers fast: Sir, we have bad news from Esthar. Squall is fighting Mrs. Krammer with his sword again since she tried to punch Ms. Heartilly for punching all scientists there after waking up. Now they’re fighting each other to death.
Cid: WHAT?
***
Joke 5:An empty post
***
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