Valkyrur's Characters

Valkyrur

White Knight
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Joined
Dec 31, 2007
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2,634
Age
31
Location
Singapore
Gil
5
FFXIV
Auralesca Vlangia
Okay, this is my first time, so, bear with anything that seems horrible, and fire away if you have comments.... Actually, it's here for critique, so, obviously, I'm prepared.. Here goes.

EDIT: Re-done my Bio. Do take a look :)

And, to make it easier to differentiate edited segments from original segments..

Color Legend:
Not Part Of Character Bio
Title/Subject
Information: Original
Edited Information

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=--=-=-

ORPG/URPG

Name –
Sapphire Zephiris Leslie

Title –
Shadow

Alignment –
Neutral (Slightly towards: Good)

(Sorry, but, I checked the description of Lawful Good. I think it doesn't portray the character well. She's no 'Crusader' and definitely not 'Saintly'.)

Race –
Human

Gender –
Female

Age –
16

Appearance –
Sporting a long flowing hair that reaches to slightly below her shoulders, this girl is a sight to behold. Her fringe, cut in bangs, is slightly above her round eyes, reveals a clearly defined face, characterized by thin eyebrows, and, her often complimented eyes of mesmerizing aquamarine. Despite this however, there is something chilling that can be sensed simply by looking into those eyes. Her lips are a natural, soft pink, and her skin tone is, contrastingly, an unnatural white.

Coupled with a slim and lean body, she is considered a beauty. All that is lacking would be the chest factor. However, she 'makes up for it' with muscular abs. (Those in apostrophe being her words) Strangely enough, her arms aren't as brawny. Her ears are perhaps her most unnoticeable feature, being a normal, rounded, human-looking ear with attached earlobes.

She stands at a height of 164cm, and weighs about 56kg.


(The Lina Inverse Reference was unintentional. Was just trying to set it up like a 'Light Strike Array', so I can receive my 'Laguna Blade'. Now, that was intentional. :) )

Attire –
Casual. A simple, dark blue hand-sewn, Viking-style linen tunic, with a scarf of a matching color. This tunic is slightly loose on Sapphire, but is not loose enough for her to simply wriggle out of it. Over all this, she wears a black vest, which serves to hold her loose tunic to her body, and ensures loose clothing won't impede any rigorous activities that may take place.As shown in the picture, there are 15 buttons, as well as lines that cross over them. To accommodate her occupation's need for stealth, she has customized those to be in black too.

For her lower torso, she wears yet again, a matching black colored skirt. This skirt is not that long, so it does not get treaded on easily.It does not have any pockets, so, Sapphire have made up for this loss with a pouch which she carries, hidden in the top layer of the skirt. (The top layer referring to the second layer over the inner layer. The boots she wears, puts the finishing touches to her commonly seen wear. Once again, a black color, this fitting suede boots ensures comfort with every step.

(Please note that there are some links to further illustrate the description.)


Armour –
None. If engaged in battle, she prefers to fight in her common attire, so that she may move around with ease. However, if forced, she may cede to wearing a breast plate, and plate legs, but would ardently refuse wearing a helmet. (Which, to her, and in reality, is too stuffy. She considers it a hindrance, and gives it less credit than it deserves)

(Well, she rarely gets bonked on the head, since she is considerably agile. The head having a smaller surface area is harder to target compared to her torso, or at most, shoulder or neck)

Personality –
Sapphire is an introvert. She does not readily engage another in conversation, and is rather reticent, not forgetting to mention, she hates being in the centre of attention. As such, she appears to be cold, and unfeeling to others, when in fact, she is not what they make her out to be. Her eyes only inspires more of such opinions, however, deep within, she is kind-hearted. It is only because her demeanor refuses others the chance to see her true nature.

When conversing, Sapphire is extremely polite. No matter who the converser is, be the person a friend or foe, she adopts a irreproachably courteous tone, though against foes, her words tend to be more chilling. (In which she subtly expresses a dislike, or sarcasm, to the person) Open insults can do little to change this politeness.

This only supplements her known personality, doing little to change other's view of her. Furthermore, she does not offer her assistance to those in need openly. If helping someone in dire straits (Under various circumstances) involves the public noticing her, she would never lend a hand. (She would, if it can be done with anonymity)

However, in the course of her occupation as Assassin, she has never hesitated to kill, which is the irony of her personality. It is her desire to be kind openly, but her job restricts this right. (And she doesn't intend to change that)


First Impression –
Cold. Just by looking into her eyes would already send a chill down almost anyone's spine. Her eyes simply exudes a chilling aura which, ironically, complements the beauty of the eyes nicely. This however, adds up to the words that would follow the description of her as a 'Cold' person- 'Beautiful eyes'. Speaking to her only adds up to this, with the extremely formal tone adopted, as well as politeness. Conversing with her further only supplements this first impression, which subsequently (And usually) stays as the converser's opinion of her.

Strength –
Sapphire, despite her looks, is rather strong. Although she does not seem to have much brawn in her arms, she can handle a heavy great sword, albeit the difficulty involved. (But won't be able to fight effectively, for certain)

Speed –
As befits her choice of clothing and fighting style, she is rather agile, moving so quickly that sometimes (Under the right circumstances, which occur by chance- mood, emotions, etc) she appear as a blur. However, she is unable to run long distances without getting tired quickly, though she can sprint for short distances, but at high speed.
This high speed may reach up close to around 27-29 miles per hour. However, thanks to the drag rendered by her skirt, this gets to around 26-28. Similarly, her skirt causes much drag to most of her situations, but the training over the years have made this almost non-existent.

Or, to be more specific, she has learned to accommodate the drag in the ways she tackle enemies.

E.G. When moving in stealthily for the kill, instead of rushing at top speed to plunge a knife in, literally move stealthily, slowly, but without anyone's notice. And when the opportunity rises, slay the target.

E.G. In fast paced combat which requires swift movement, she tries to lift her skirt up, so there is less drag. However, usually, the pace of battle may be too fast for her to do this, but when given the chance, she would.

These are some methods she taken to sustain her speed in battle, but most of the time, she would favor quick removal of the target, or simply a quick end to the battle


Endurance –
Her fighting style revolves around speed, which also consumes her energy quickly, thus, she has trained to raise her endurance. (Without making herself too muscular) She succeeded, but not much. At present, she may fight at optimal level for about 5 minutes, before starting to decline, to a point where she is totally weak and unable to fight on- at about 8 minutes. She may be able to recover some energy by resting, and breathing deeply, but can only add about a minute worth of fighting, and no more than that.

After 8 minutes, it is still possible to fight, but her agility would by then be non-existent, and she seems to fight like an average foot soldier. Nonetheless, it is possible for her to fight casually, slowing her movements down enough to add about 5 minutes to the time she can stay competitive, this, however, isn't her favorite tactic.

Still, in the time she still has strength, she is a force to be reckoned with.

Note, however, that it is battles that sap her energy quickly. Others like running away, or whatever would not use as much energy.
(However, 'Sprinting' would use more energy than 'Running'. Will be detailed if she sprints)

As to the amount of physical punishment she can take, thanks to her strong will to survive, she can suffer heavy injuries, but still last for some time. Depending on the severity of the wound, she may or may not reach the 'stage of decline' similar to the above mentioned- after having fought more than 5 minutes. (The 3 minutes it takes to reach the point where she is completely drained of energy is the 'Stage of Decline'. )

Bruise-
She can take tons of this and not be weakened enough.
Bone Cracking/Sprain (Lower Torso)-
It immediately brings about the stage of decline. (As she makes heavy use of her lower torso to escape, dodge, etc. )
Bone Cracking/Sprain (Upper Torso)-
Increases the time needed to reach the 'Stage of Decline', since less energy is catered to her hands, more energy is conserved for her legs.
Bone Breaking-
The stage of decline begins as the battle continues, lasts only about 2 minutes before she's totally drained of energy (For both upper and lower torso. Upper would decrease strength along with energy loss, while lower would decrease rate of evasion, as well as speed)
Stab/Slash wound (Upper torso)-
Attack strength decreases drastically. Battle cannot last more than 5 minutes. Escape, difficult, due to blood loss, evidently slower.
Stab/Slash wound (Lower Torso)-
Speed hindered terribly. May not be able to sprint. Running possible, but with increased blood loss.

If already in the 'Stage of Decline' when she receives these wounds (Exception: Bruise), she may be out of energy as soon as the wound are received. Depending on the place wounded then, it may or may not be possible for her to make her escape. Any sustained at her legs would diminish chances of escape drastically.

She may choose to fight to her last breath, but the most she will last is 2 minutes. (Assuming she sustains no injuries in this time) If she takes more hurt during this time, it's black out or death. (Depending on her opponent)


Reflexes –
In a word, incredible. Years of intense training has sharpened her reflexes to the extent where she is actually able to react almost instantly as soon as the warning signs of danger surfaces. Which also complements her agility. However, this does not make her invulnerable to high-speed projectiles like arrows, or crossbow bolts, though she may be able to dodge them fairly quickly, and sometimes, if lucky, catch them in mid air. (Usually, she wouldn't take the risk, because of the high risk involved.)

More notably, her ability to hear the softest sound generated in about a 5 meters radius also supports this impressive reflex. As with the uncanny ability to react quickly as soon as she realized she had been fooled.

E.G. Someone tosses something into the air in another direction, attracting Sapphire's attention towards it. Then, moving in from behind, he jumps in for the kill. However, Sapphire was a step ahead. From the moment the thing landed, she was already watching it, and saw nothing dangerous from that direction. Quickly deducing this to be a distraction, she already prepared herself to counterattack whatever comes her way. And so, when the man moved, she was more than prepared, and takes him down as soon as he comes close.

This however, is restricted within the 'Optimal Time' of 13 minutes. (Read Endurance for more information.)

Her amazing reflex is largely dependent on her speed, and collectively, the endurance she has. So, the time in which she performs at her best is the time where the aforementioned remains a reality. After the time of 13 minutes, her reflexes will slowly worsen.


Fighting Style –
Speed. Sapphire, knowing herself, realizes quickly that her energy has its limits, and this limits would be reached very quickly. Thus, she always tries to finish the battle as soon as it begins. Her weapon serves to complement this strategy, being rather small, and unnoticeable. However, most battles do not allow such easy kills, which proceeds on to what Sapphire terms 'Phase Two', which really is, normal armed combat. In which, she engages the enemy cautiously, striking only after the opponent does so.

In short, she would only attack right after the enemy makes his move... And try to finish the battle with that move.

E.G. The enemy lurches forward, attempting to slash her. Quickly sidestepping aside, Sapphire plunges her dagger into the enemy's neck, finishing him off in a blow.

Most of her enemies should succumb to this scenario. With the exception of some, whom are more powerful.

Unfortunately, if that were to prove difficult, even with her speed, she would resort to causing as much wounds as possible to make the enemy bleed to death. This strategy is usually thrown in when she finds the chance to, since it can slow the enemy down. (Though, by habit, she usually focuses on the killer moves, and rarely focuses on bleeding the enemy dry)


Weapons –
An un-named dagger. This is a trusty weapon which she usually keeps in a special sheath tied to her waist. It is extremely durable, and has not been broken (Probably because it has not met in a direct clash) before.

As seen in the picture, the blade of the dagger has some intricate designs, which she honestly isn't interested in. The length of this dagger is about 20cm, and the handle, about 10cm, which adds up to about 30cm in length. The length of the sheath accommodates the blade perfectly

This weapon was a gift from her foster father when he believed she had mastered the art of stealth in her years of harsh training. As such, Sapphire made it a point never to lose it in battle, and always used it first when the situation called for it.

(Note: In the picture linked to the word 'sheath', the sheath I was referring to is the one on first on the left side of the bag. To be more general, second from the right, ignoring the belt on top)


Abilities –
Assassinate. Her mercenary jobs of stealthily removing targets that are her client's enemies has sharpened her skills in assassination, much so that she is averagely renowned as a proficient assassin. That is, in the 'underworld'. In which she goes by her nickname 'Shadow'. This can be sometimes seen in her fighting style, which involves the quick dispatching of the enemy. (Refer to Fighting Style for more details)

Combat Skills. Years of training brought to Sapphire mastery of her unique fighting style, and subsequently, skills which she can utilize to her advantage:
- Weapon Toss -
As its name suggest, it is simply the tossing of a weapon with the intent to kill. Sapphire basically grabs any weapon, or her own weapon, and tosses it to her enemy with deadly accuracy, and aiming at the enemy's vital areas. (Neck, for instance,
however, she would target the upper torso if she isn't confident of hitting the neck or head.)
- Dual Wielding -
A decade worth of training ensured her ability to wield weapons in both hands with almost equal efficiency. However, it must be noted that her left hand is not as strong as her right. (As she is a right hander)


It must be noted that using two weapons at once would drain more from her, mentally, and physically. Mentally, the concentration in the battle must be there to ensure perfect coordination of her two hands. It may, however, deteriorate her reflexes, but not so much.

Physically, it is somewhat taxing, but doesn't drain so much. Possibly taking off about half a minute of the time she is competitive.

- Blink Strike - (If you've played Warcraft, or DotA, this would seem familiar)
By suddenly increasing her speed, she moves in a blur, and strikes the enemy. However, this drains energy fairly quickly, and requires her to get into a stance which acts like a spring, and blasts her towards her enemy. It only applies to enemies directly in front of her, as she is unable to move at such speed to enemies by her side. (Just imagine trying to run sideways and running straight. The difficulty in doing so is the same as it is in using this skill.)


As this is physically taxing too, it will take away about 40 seconds away from the time she is competitive. In battle, she may use this a couple of times, but due to the amount of energy it takes out of her, she refrains from executing this, unless it's for a killing blow.

Another reason for her rarity in executing this skill, is because of the drag her skirt induces on her movements. It doesn't play down it's effectiveness in slaying a target, if it does hit home.


Moving silently.
When moving slowly, careful steps, coupled with her soft boots make her movements almost inaudible. Only those with sharp hearing may be able to hear her. This came only after the years of intense training Sapphire underwent.

Magic –
Sapphire has no affinity with magic, and is totally unable to cast any form of magic. She doesn't even bother to learn it anyway, though, she has a naturally strong resistance to Magic.

E.G. A strong fire spell that may burn away the someone's skin may only cause a slight burn on hers.

So long the spell is magical in nature, whatever element it is would not hurt her so much. However, if the magic used conjures something physical in nature, there's no denying her death.

E.G. A spear made out of ice.

Still, it must be noted that if the spell has some special effects attached to it, Sapphire have no chance to resist that either.

E.G. Ice spells: Freezing effect. Her movement slows. Lightning: Uncontrollable muscle contraction. Similarly, her movement slows, though with enough mental strength, it may be possible to resist it.

But that's mental strength, not magical resistance.


History –
Born an abandoned child, Sapphire was left in the wilderness as a baby in a sapphire mine. Thus, when her foster father found her, he promptly named her in accordance to the place he found her. Sapphire's father was Wilson Leslie, a renowned assassin known to have succeeded in almost all his missions. However, there was only one mission he failed.

And, he paid a huge price for failure. His wife, Zephiris Leslie was killed in action. Depressed and losing the will to fight, he retires with a generally large fortune, as well as the deep-seated intent to seek revenge on the target he failed to take out.

However, he decided that this revenge he sought would not be taken by himself. In his mind, an 'interesting' plan was already concocted- he intended to make Sapphire take the man's life. Still, that wasn't the main idea. Adding 'Zephiris' to Sapphire's name, he decided she will avenge his wife, in her name, so that it will truly be an 'eye for eye'.

Thus began Sapphire's life of harsh assassin training, which developed the skills she has at present. This was all achieved at the tender age of 13. However, as she was still young, fighting against full grown adults and their heavy weaponry is something she may not be able to handle, so her father, Wilson, patiently trained her for yet another 2 years.

This 2 years was definitely more relaxed than the previous years, since she has already mastered most of what she would need as an Assassin. Hence, she pursued what she couldn't do previously, mingling with the crowds in cities, as well as the children her age.

It was there, her personality was developed. Years of assassin training had hardened her heart to a point where she could kill even the most pitiful person, but with the children, and their loving parents, she learned the presence of kindness, and nurtured it within herself. (Desiring to be like the parents)

Ironically, despite having mingled in with children and played with them, they never stayed friends for long. As soon as their parents knew who her father was, they would shun her. She never understood why that was the case then, but she knew now- that they were afraid of her.

Still, that didn't change her, since her training involved the acceptance of the fact they will not be able to mingle in with society properly.

It was also in this two years, she was more conscious of the relation between her father and herself. For the years before then, her father only trained her, and nothing more. The only love he ever shown would be covering the blanket for her at night, and, cooking and serving the food personally.

She tried to be more proactive in nurturing the relation between the two, but it obviously failed. Her father having spent almost a decade behaving this way to her, found it way too impossible to change. And so, went the two years, with little changes other than her personality.

Finally, the time came, for her first real mission: slaying her father's enemy. Her father saw that it was only right if he followed along with her, and saw to it she finished the man off. This man was no ordinary person, however, he was a powerful noble, with his own private army of skilled mercenaries.

Still, the duo was a force to be reckoned with. They successfully invaded the place attracting almost zero attention, and found their way to the noble. Yet, despite having came close, her father decided to announce their presence, so that his 'plan of vengeance' would be achieved.

It came at a huge sacrifice of their stealth. Immediately, they were tossed into a situation against the mercenary force. The duo have not forgotten their mission, however, and went after the noble.

Unfortunately, against an army of skilled warriors, 2 assassins are not much of a challenge. Furthermore, the battle had went on beyond 18 minutes. Sapphire was simply too tired to fight at a level required to defeat the force.

The same could be said for her father, though experience and sheer will forced him to forge on. Seeing her father this way, Sapphire had to fight alongside him. But, it was evident they must leave the area if they are to survive.

Before it, her father demanded the Noble's death. Sapphire then took a risk, rushing at the Noble in an attempt to slay him. Protected by a force, it was pretty obvious this frantic charge wasn't going to do much. Then, her father came in directing the attention to himself (By appearing to be the real person meant to kill the Noble, when he's not)

With this distraction, Sapphire successfully went past the defense, and finished the Noble off. Sadly, her father fell against the forces, which still fought unknowing of their leader's death.

Her father mouthed a 'Go', and an 'I love you' to Sapphire in his final moments, as the force finished him. After 15 whole years, to show his affection before his death touched Sapphire completely.

However, the force had already finished tackling one distraction, charging at her, they were determined to finish this second target. Conveniently, they noticed their dead leader. Taking the opportunity of the distraction, Sapphire dashed for her escape, successfully making it out alive, and relatively unharmed.

News of her successful assassination spread, and as she followed her foster father's footsteps in offering her own services in taverns, this news helped improve the number of clients she had. So went a year, her fame spread amongst the underworld, and jobs continue to flow in with handsome rewards.

Nevertheless, deep within her heart, her father stays as a happy memory, and became her driving force to stay alive to live happily. (Which, in her comprehension, was doing what she usually did- assassination)
 
Last edited:
Ok, expect a typo filled one! ^^


Okay, this is my first time, so, bear with anything that seems horrible, and fire away if you have comments.... Actually, it's here for critique, so, obviously, I'm prepared.. Here goes.

EDIT: Problem Solved! Please look on! Many thanks to Red Fox for moving and all that.

And, to make it easier to differentiate edited segments from original segments..

Color Legend:
Not Part Of Character Bio
Title/Subject
Information: Original

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=--=-=-


ORPG/URPG

Name –
Sapphire Zephiris Leslie

Title –
-None-
If you dont havea title, you can just remove the tab.

Alignment –
Neutral (Slightly towards: Good)

you might then be the Lawful Good alighment
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lawful_good#Lawful_Neutral
Race –
Human

Gender –
Female

Age –
16
Just so you know, since you are a 16 year female, you should balance things accordingly.
Appearance –
Sporting a long flowing hair that reaches to slightly below her shoulders, this girl is a sight to behold. Her fringe, cut in bangs, is slightly above her round eyes, reveals a clearly defined face, characterized by thin eyebrows, and, her often complimented eyes of mesmerizing aquamarine. Despite this however, there is something chilling that can be sensed simply by looking into those eyes. Her lips are a natural, soft pink, and her skin tone is, contrastingly, an unnatural white.

Coupled with a slim and lean body, she is considered a beauty. All that is lacking would be the chest factor. However, she 'makes up for it' with muscular abs. (Those in apostrophe being her words) Strangely enough, her arms aren't as brawny. Her ears are perhaps her most unnoticeable feature, being a normal, rounded, human-looking ear with attached earlobes.

She stands at a height of 164cm, and weighs about 56kg.

Sounds cute ^^
Though I cannot shake the feeling of that she dies what Lina Inverse does.
She also has round eyes, she is bit of a petite and have small breasts. In her own words she makes up for it wit her being a powerful sorceress ^^
Attire –
Casual. A simple, dark blue hand-sewn, Viking-style linen tunic, with a scarf of a matching color. This tunic is slightly loose on Sapphire, but is not loose enough for her to simply wriggle out of it. Over all this, she wears a black vest, which serves to hold her loose tunic to her body, and ensures loose clothing won't impede any rigorous activities that may take place. For her lower torso, she wears yet again, a matching black colored skirt. This skirt is not that long, so it does not get treaded on easily. The boots she wears, puts the finishing touches to her commonly seen wear. Once again, a black color, this fitting suede boots ensures comfort with every step.

(Please note that there are some links to further illustrate the description.)

Even though you have links, I see that you have tried to detail them with words.
That is good.
however, you seem to lack detailing of the attire, you let hte images do this.
Try adding the same detail that is in the picture in the text description. tke the vest for example.
beside hte color you dont detail anything, yet hte image has it having a dozen buttons with white lines horizontally beside them.
Try and add more detail for hte attire.
Armour –
None. If engaged in battle, she prefers to fight in her common attire, so that she may move around with ease. However, if forced, she may cede to wearing a breast plate, and plate legs, but would ardently refuse wearing a helmet. (Which, to her, and in reality, is too stuffy. She considers it a hindrance, and gives it less credit than it deserves)
She might change her opinion if she gets bonked on the head a few times ^^
Personality –
Sapphire is an introvert. She does not readily engage another in conversation, and is rather reticent, not forgetting to mention, she hates being in the centre of attention. As such, she appears to be cold, and unfeeling to others, when in fact, she is not what they make her out to be. Her eyes only inspires more of such opinions, however, deep within, she is kind-hearted. It is only because her demeanor refuses others the chance to see her true nature.

When conversing, Sapphire is extremely polite. No matter who the converser is, be the person a friend or foe, she adopts a irreproachably courteous tone, though against foes, her words tend to be more chilling. (In which she subtly expresses a dislike, or sarcasm, to the person) Open insults can do little to change this politeness.

This only supplements her known personality, doing little to change other's view of her. Furthermore, she does not offer her assistance to those in need openly. If helping someone in dire straits (Under various circumstances) involves the public noticing her, she would never lend a hand. (She would, if it can be done with anonymity)

However, in the course of her occupation as Assassin, she has never hesitated to kill, which is the irony of her personality. It is her desire to be kind openly, but her job restricts this right. (And she doesn't intend to change that)


First Impression –
Cold. Just by looking into her eyes would already send a chill down almost anyone's spine. Her eyes simply exudes a chilling aura which, ironically, complements the beauty of the eyes nicely. This however, adds up to the words that would follow the description of her as a 'Cold' person- 'Beautiful eyes'. Speaking to her only adds up to this, with the extremely formal tone adopted, as well as politeness. Conversing with her further only supplements this first impression, which subsequently (And usually) stays as the converser's opinion of her.

Strength –
Sapphire, despite her looks, is rather strong. Although she does not seem to have much brawn in her arms, she can handle a heavy great sword, albeit the difficulty involved. (But won't be able to fight effectively, for certain)

Speed –
As befits her choice of clothing and fighting style, she is rather agile, moving so quickly that sometimes (Under the right circumstances, which occur by chance- mood, emotions, etc) she appear as a blur. However, she is unable to run long distances without getting tired quickly, though she can sprint for short distances, but at high speed.
You hsould know that her skirt will naturally slow her down, as it drags in the air. Just a hint for you to think of.
It might be nice to mention her top speed in mph or kmh fir the sake of argument.
Endurance –
Her fighting style revolves around speed, which also consumes her energy quickly, thus, she has trained to raise her endurance. (Without making herself too muscular) She succeeded, but not much. At present, she may fight at optimal level for about 13 minutes, before starting to decline, to a point where she is totally weak and unable to fight on- at about 18 minutes. She may be able to recover some energy by resting, and breathing deeply, but can only add about a minute worth of fighting, and no more than that.

After 18 minutes, it is still possible to fight, but her agility would by then be non-existent, and she seems to fight like an average foot soldier. Nonetheless, it is possible for her to fight casually, slowing her movements down enough to add about 5 minutes to the time she can stay competitive, this, however, isn't her favorite tactic.

It may seem that this amount of endurance is pathetic, but in the time she still has strength, she is a force to be reckoned with.

Note, however, that it is battles that sap her energy quickly. Others like running away, or whatever would not use as much energy.

A real one on one fight rarely lasts for more than 3-5 minutes, so i would detail her endurance here to be fairly high.
though, you should also add her physical endurance, how much physical punishment can she take before going down.
Reflexes –
In a word, incredible. Years of intense training has sharpened her reflexes to the extent where she is actually able to react almost instantly as soon as the warning signs of danger surfaces. Which also complements her agility. However, this does not make her invulnerable to high-speed projectiles like arrows, or crossbow bolts, though she may be able to dodge them fairly quickly, and sometimes, if lucky, catch them in mid air. (Usually, she wouldn't take the risk, because of the high risk involved.)

More notably, her ability to hear the softest sound generated in about a 5 meters radius also supports this impressive reflex. As with the uncanny ability to react quickly as soon as she realized she had been fooled.

E.G. Someone tosses something into the air in another direction, attracting Sapphire's attention towards it. Then, moving in from behind, he jumps in for the kill. However, Sapphire was a step ahead. From the moment the thing landed, she was already watching it, and saw nothing dangerous from that direction. Quickly deducing this to be a distraction, she already prepared herself to counterattack whatever comes her way. And so, when the man moved, she was more than prepared, and takes him down as soon as he comes close.

This however, is restricted within the 'Optimal Time' of 13 minutes. (Read Endurance for more information.)

Her amazing reflex is largely dependent on her speed, and collectively, the endurance she has. So, the time in which she performs at her best is the time where the aforementioned remains a reality. After the time of 13 minutes, her reflexes will slowly worsen.


Fighting Style –
Speed. Sapphire, knowing herself, realizes quickly that her energy has its limits, and this limits would be reached very quickly. Thus, she always tries to finish the battle as soon as it begins. Her weapon serves to complement this strategy, being rather small, and unnoticeable. However, most battles do not allow such easy kills, which proceeds on to what Sapphire terms 'Phase Two', which really is, normal armed combat. In which, she engages the enemy cautiously, striking only after the opponent does so.

In short, she would only attack right after the enemy makes his move... And try to finish the battle with that move.

E.G. The enemy lurches forward, attempting to slash her. Quickly sidestepping aside, Sapphire plunges her dagger into the enemy's neck, finishing him off in a blow.

Most of her enemies should succumb to this scenario. With the exception of some, whom are more powerful.

Unfortunately, if that were to prove difficult, even with her speed, she would resort to causing as much wounds as possible to make the enemy bleed to death. This strategy is usually thrown in when she finds the chance to, since it can slow the enemy down. (Though, by habit, she usually focuses on the killer moves, and rarely focuses on bleeding the enemy dry)

I like how logical she is in this.
She is starting to remind me of the ways the real Ninja's fought ^^
Weapons –
An un-named dagger. This is a trusty weapon which she usually keeps in a special sheath tied to her waist. It is extremely durable, and has not been broken (Probably because it has not met in a direct clash) before.

This weapon was a gift from her foster father when he believed she had mastered the art of stealth in her years of harsh training. As such, Sapphire made it a point never to lose it in battle, and always used it first when the situation called for it.

(Note: In the picture linked to the word 'sheath', the sheath I was referring to is the one on first on the left side of the bag. To be more general, second from the right, ignoring the belt on top)

You do not detail her dagger, if you are to remove the image, you wont know what it looks like.
So you need to add a text description to it, though looking at the image this wont be too hard.
this is the same for the sheath.
Abilities –
Assassinate. Her mercenary jobs of stealthily removing targets that are her client's enemies has sharpened her skills in assassination, much so that she is averagely renowned as a proficient assassin. This can be sometimes seen in her fighting style, which involves the quick dispatching of the enemy. (Refer to Fighting Style for more details)
Erm... Wont the fact that she is known actually go against hte whole assassin profession? ^^
Combat Skills. Years of training brought to Sapphire mastery of her unique fighting style, and subsequently, skills which she can utilize to her advantage:
- Weapon Toss -
As its name suggest, it is simply the tossing of a weapon with the intent to kill. Sapphire basically grabs any weapon, or her own weapon, and tosses it to her enemy with deadly accuracy, and aiming at the enemy's vital areas. (Neck, for instance)
To be honest, if you are to think like an assassin here, she would aim for the upper torso. Like a sniper even though an ideal target is there, it is too small and lowers the chance to hit. So aim for "center mass" has a higher chance to hit, which will in turn make hte target bleed to death, or slow down enough for an easier attack by yourself.
This is not a requirement, but as one that know a thing or two, I'm just giving you hints.
- Dual Wielding -
A decade worth of training ensured her ability to wield weapons in both hands with almost equal efficiency. However, it must be noted that her left hand is not as strong as her right. (As she is a right hander)

- Blink Strike - (If you've played Warcraft, or DotA, this would seem familiar)
By suddenly increasing her speed, she moves in a blur, and strikes the enemy. However, this drains energy fairly quickly, and requires her to get into a stance which acts like a spring, and blasts her towards her enemy. It only applies to enemies directly in front of her, as she is unable to move at such speed to enemies by her side. (Just imagine trying to run sideways and running straight. The difficulty in doing so is the same as it is in using this skill.)
This might need a little more detail, as it is a physically straining skill, it will naturally drain her stamina more than a normal attack. Though it is basically a crouching jump towards a target, it will still tax more.
Moving silently. Despite her speed, she is capable of moving silently, without attracting the attention of those with even the sharpest hearing. This came only after the years of intense training Sapphire underwent.
In the case of this, I would recommend you five her cloth boots/footwear, as a stiff/hard sole makes sound regardless of the skill of the user's skill. Also refrain from rubber as that squeaks when wet ^^
Magic –
Sapphire has no affinity with magic, and is totally unable to cast any form of magic. She doesn't even bother to learn it anyway, though, she has a naturally strong resistance to Magic.
This resistance to magic should be detailed heavily.
History –
Born an abandoned child, Sapphire was left in the wilderness as a baby in a sapphire mine. Thus, when her foster father found her, he promptly named her in accordance to the place he found her. Sapphire's father was Wilson Leslie, a renowned assassin known to have succeeded in almost all his missions. However, there was only one mission he failed.

And, he paid a huge price for failure. His wife, Zephiris Leslie was killed in action. Depressed and losing the will to fight, he retires with a generally large fortune, as well as the deep-seated intent to seek revenge on the target he failed to take out.

However, he decided that this revenge he sought would not be taken by himself. In his mind, an 'interesting' plan was already concocted- he intended to make Sapphire take the man's life. Still, that wasn't the main idea. Adding 'Zephiris' to Sapphire's name, he decided she will avenge his wife, in her name, so that it will truly be an 'eye for eye'.

Thus began Sapphire's life of harsh assassin training, which developed the skills she has at present. This was all achieved at the tender age of 13. However, as she was still young, fighting against full grown adults and their heavy weaponry is something she may not be able to handle, so her father, Wilson, patiently trained her for yet another 2 years.

This 2 years was definitely more relaxed than the previous years, since she has already mastered most of what she would need as an Assassin. Hence, she pursued what she couldn't do previously, mingling with the crowds in cities, as well as the children her age.

It was there, her personality was developed. Years of assassin training had hardened her heart to a point where she could kill even the most pitiful person, but with the children, and their loving parents, she learned the presence of kindness, and nurtured it within herself. (Desiring to be like the parents)

Ironically, despite having mingled in with children and played with them, they never stayed friends for long. As soon as their parents knew who her father was, they would shun her. She never understood why that was the case then, but she knew now- that they were afraid of her.

Still, that didn't change her, since her training involved the acceptance of the fact they will not be able to mingle in with society properly.

It was also in this two years, she was more conscious of the relation between her father and herself. For the years before then, her father only trained her, and nothing more. The only love he ever shown would be covering the blanket for her at night, and, cooking and serving the food personally.

She tried to be more proactive in nurturing the relation between the two, but it obviously failed. Her father having spent almost a decade behaving this way to her, found it way too impossible to change. And so, went the two years, with little changes other than her personality.

Finally, the time came, for her first real mission: slaying her father's enemy. Her father saw that it was only right if he followed along with her, and saw to it she finished the man off. This man was no ordinary person, however, he was a powerful noble, with his own private army of skilled mercenaries.

Still, the duo was a force to be reckoned with. They successfully invaded the place attracting almost zero attention, and found their way to the noble. Yet, despite having came close, her father decided to announce their presence, so that his 'plan of vengeance' would be achieved.

It came at a huge sacrifice of their stealth. Immediately, they were tossed into a situation against the mercenary force. The duo have not forgotten their mission, however, and went after the noble.

Unfortunately, against an army of skilled warriors, 2 assassins are not much of a challenge. Furthermore, the battle had went on beyond 18 minutes. Sapphire was simply too tired to fight at a level required to defeat the force.

The same could be said for her father, though experience and sheer will forced him to forge on. Seeing her father this way, Sapphire had to fight alongside him. But, it was evident they must leave the area if they are to survive.

Before it, her father demanded the Noble's death. Sapphire then took a risk, rushing at the Noble in an attempt to slay him. Protected by a force, it was pretty obvious this frantic charge wasn't going to do much. Then, her father came in directing the attention to himself (By appearing to be the real person meant to kill the Noble, when he's not)

With this distraction, Sapphire successfully went past the defense, and finished the Noble off. Sadly, her father fell against the forces, which still fought unknowing of their leader's death.

Her father mouthed a 'Go', and an 'I love you' to Sapphire in his final moments, as the force finished him. After 15 whole years, to show his affection before his death touched Sapphire completely.

However, the force had already finished tackling one distraction, charging at her, they were determined to finish this second target. Conveniently, they noticed their dead leader. Taking the opportunity of the distraction, Sapphire dashed for her escape, successfully making it out alive, and relatively unharmed.

News of her successful assassination spread, and as she followed her foster father's footsteps in offering her own services in taverns, this news helped improve the number of clients she had. So went a year, her fame spread amongst the underworld, and jobs continue to flow in with handsome rewards.

Nevertheless, deep within her heart, her father stays as a happy memory, and became her driving force to stay alive to live happily. (Which, in her comprehension, was doing what she usually did- assassination)
As I normally do, I will not read the history, as the things should be detailed enough for it not to matter.
I will read it later off course, but I wotn read it while nagging ^^

For a first bio, you are doing a great job, you dont use magic which only makes you lucky towards me as Im without mercy when nagging on the magic tab.
As stated in the different areas there are a few things that need detailing and exampling. I gave you a few ideas here and there, the ideas I gave you are not mandatory, but adds to the logic and survivability to the assassin.

You are one of the very few that has made a logical char, in that I mean that she could very well exist somewhere in real life, there are very few chars of that type.

If you want more ideas for the assassin, feel free to contact me, via MSN or PM, and Ill help you on the area you wish.
After you have fixed the things I mentioned, PM me and Ill check again, dont expect me to check this bio every other day ^^

So, though close you are, sadly this bio is [Not Approved]

EDIT
Please take your character out of the quote, it is more annoying to read it like that than normal.
Again, this is not a requirement, just a hint.
 
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OK!
I have read over hte changes, and I F'ing love hte coloration effect, makes for WAY easier checking.
Sicne your character is a NON RPB one, I dont have to be über picky about it.

This bio DOES qualify for approval at this point, but I'd like to give you a hint first ^^

Her speed is 15-17 mph.
That is quite slow, as I in real life can sprint at almost 25mph for a very brief time.
I will allow her to have that speed without nagging as it is not unnatural for he to be faster then the real life me as Im a couth potato ^^

So, I will add this bio as [Pending] for now.
Contact me in a PM whne you have either made the changes, or if you want it to stay as it is.
 
Okay. Changed that final high speed thing, from the tens to the twenties. Specifically, 27-29 miles per hour without drag, and 26-28 with drag.
 
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Aye, I see that ^^
I deem your character [Approved]
Ill see you in Julius' RP! ^^

+Rep given for first approved char on FFF
::Topic moved to approved::
 
Valkyrur's Chronicles: Alicia Crescent

Right. I am bored, yet inspired by the game/anime Valkyria Chronicles at the same time, so here's a new character. It is original, so there's no need to worry about it.

Color Legend
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Used in: ORPG/URPG/RPB

Name –
Alicia Crescent

Title –
Azure Wraith

Alignment –
Lawful Neutral

Race –
Human

Gender –
Female

Age –
20

Appearance –
One glance at the girl, one is easily able to identify her origins in the orient. She is fair-skinned, with bright, wide, black-colored eyes that usually exudes an aura of innocent and naivety. Her well groomed eye brows adds further strength and definition to her already pretty face.

She is often seen leaving her shoulder-length, jet black hair untied, freely hanging behind her back. Her fringe is long as well, but only a few strands of hair actually intercept her vision.

Her ears have detached earlobes, but these features of hers are usually covered by her hair most of the time. Her nose is small and indistinct, providing her a youthfully feminine appearance. Her small, petite, cherry red lips adds the finishing touches to her face, which most have complimented her for.

Alicia stands at a height of 168cm, and weighs about 60kg. Her general body line is, in a word, slim- or at least, lean.

Her arms are only slightly brawny, with some muscle at the biceps and triceps. Do not mistake those arms for some body builder contesting for Mr Olympic or something though, just the average, above average arm size.

The same can be said for her legs, but her thighs are big- the accompaniment to her ability to perform 360 flips. Just like her arms, they are a bit bigger than a normal girl, but are not so large like those competing in body building competitions.

Her torso are generally normal, proportional to her arms and legs. It fits her fighting style nicely, being rather petite and having a small bust size- which reduces weight on the torso area.


Attire –
She enjoys wearing light clothing, which are not heavy on her. As such, she is often seen dressed in a grayish-brown, silk sleeveless tunic, which covers over a dark brown sleeved, turtleneck shirt she wears within. (It can be seen in this image, just imagine a turtleneck there, or the same color)

As further shown in the above image, the trousers she wear is a pair of black-colored, footless, lace trimmed leggings which are continued by a pair of soft suede boots which she wears on her feet- also black in color. Note that all her clothings are extremely plain, with no exquisite patterns to distinguish it from others.

At the end of her sleeves, there are three buttons which she can unbutton to loosen the clothing around her wrist. Alternatively, it can be kept buttoned up to reduce possible air resistance when running.

She usually carries her weapon around by hand, so there isn't anything on her to strap the weapon to herself. To keep the smaller, and random items like money, she carries a black colored haversack with her, slung over her shoulders.

(Assume the haversack to be about 60cm in length, and 45cm in width. In the haversack, Alicia has stuffed in a kite shield of 55cm in length and 40 cm in width, so the haversack on her back usually takes a triangular shape. Note that there is still space for the other lesser necessities. Which she may need)

Armour –
Most of the time, she does not have the luxury of being provided an armor- due to it's costs. Thus, she only wears it if provided, or simply fight in her ordinary clothing.

If she dons her armor, she'll usually be seen decked in a full plate mail which covers from top to toe, as well as a medium helmet that does not cover her face. (It's too stuffy otherwise)

This plate mail is similar to what most ordinary infantrymen would wear. The color of silver, highly reflective and well polished. It can hold it's own against a weak piercing strike, and moderately powerful slashes, but will fail to protect against a forceful enough blow. ( And since most battles would involve heavy blows, the plate mail would only render real assistance when the enemy strikes weakly. )

It has zero protection against magic, and would easily be ripped apart by a powerful enough spell.


In battle, she'll rely on her shield as well, so the body armor does not matter too much to her.

The Kite Shield is named the 'Crescent Shield'- by herself. She did so simply because there is her family crest on the shield, which is a crescent moon. The shield is forged using a huge amount of mithril- which explains it's dark blue hue, and durability. It can withstand virtually any strike, no matter how forcefully, at worst suffering only a dent.

However, this is balanced up with a slightly heavier weight of about 3kg (About the same as a Greatsword). The family crest is engraved using iron below, and coated with gold. The iron offers a degree of magic resistance which will be further explained below. To grip the shield tightly to herself, there are leather straps used to grip the shield. These leather straps are dyed black.

As aforementioned, the shield offers a certain degree of magical resistance due to the iron used in the family crest. Still, the family crest does not cover the entire shield, taking up only about 40% of it.

Thus, the 55cm long, and 40cm wide kite shield has a moderate magical resistance- it means it can survive a direct impact against a spell, but is not invulnerable to the effects of the spell. This means, it can protect Alicia against a fireball, but the shield will be freaking hot. For obvious reasons, I suppose. (If the spell has no other effect, then it will die at the shield)


Personality –
Bright and cheerful. She warms up to almost every person she encounters, and grants that person her complete trust. Similarly, she treats the person sincerely, expecting the same from the person- albeit naively. Occasionally, her cheerfulness may be too much and make her seem irritating, but those times are rare.

However, on a more negative side, she is extremely blunt. She wouldn't hesitate to reveal her true thoughts about the person, however foolishly or undesirable the circumstances may be. To this, she supports with her own reason- 'I'd rather be honest with them so they will be honest with me!'

Yet, despite her cheeriness, there are times where she can be serious as well. Those are the times where she is most focused, and can exude a unique charm of her own. During those times, she retains her blunt nature, but includes a sarcastic tone to it. These seriousness only comes when something terrible happens, or if she gets embroiled in battle.

Otherwise, she'll just be her usual cheerful self all the way- sometimes, even in solemn occasions like a funeral.

Also, she is an extremely free-spirited person who is unrestrained by virtually everything. There is almost nothing that can actually hold her back from what she intends to do. This has often landed her in large amounts of trouble- especially when coupled with her bluntness.

First Impression –
If based solely on sight, most people would think that this girl is pretty. They may also go on to add that she seems cute, and innocent as well. It is only through the first sentences exchanged that a more solid impression is created.

However, this depends on the person. If the person regards courtesy highly, they may tend to find her rude when she introduces herself. Worse when they speak in further detail- by then, she'll have unloaded all her opinions on the person, enough to infuriate someone who cannot control himself/herself.

If the person is open, they may find her cute, as with their original thoughts, and like her more as they speak. Her sincerity will appeal greatly to them, even if she bluntly admits her dislike for a feature belonging to them.

Strength –
Both her arms are equally strong. As she uses a shield, she knows the importance of strengthening the shield arm (her left) as well. Thus, she has worked to improve on the amount of strength there. Though it is not comparable to her right arm, it is just as strong as the right arm.

(An analogy: If her arms were to compete against an opponent whose arms are equally balanced out, literally, both arms will achieve almost the same results, with the right arm either winning first, or losing later. )

That said, she can easily handle most heavy weaponry, but her lack of training in other weapons other than the shield and spear would make those weapons useless in her hands.

Her strength can be given a major boost by activating 'Azure Spirit'. More details below.

Another analogy for clearer estimation: (I'm not too sure about realistic weights, so I'll cite a numerical HP as value.)

Assuming the enemy has 500HP, and have minimal defenses. If she were to throw a punch at him, with all her strength, she would take off about 10 HP off him. A boost by activating Azure Spirit would increase the value by about 5- to 15.

Yet another analogy: (Using realistic weights, please correct if inaccurate. I guess I don't exactly work out at a gym often enough to know well enough)

Assuming she have to hold and lift a weight of 30kg (Roughly half her weight), she would be able to do so, and hold it above her for about 10-13 minutes. The boost provided by Azure Spirit would grant 2 more minutes.


Speed –
Being a spear and shield user, she understands the need for swift, precise strikes. Thus, her attacking speed is exceptionally fast. However, the same cannot be said for her battles, which can drag on for quite some time, due to the nature of her strategy- a defensive one.

Having said that, she could strike as fast as a snake in her top form- though most of the time, it would be half of that. Yet she is rarely able to reach that top form once again, thanks to her strategy, which calls a balanced usage of shield and spear. Unless she decides not to use the shield, she would not be able to deliver an attack at the fastest possible speed.

When there is a need to escape, she can run at a top speed of about 21-23 kilometers per hour including the slight drag from her clothings and armaments. While she may not actually move as fast in battles, she is rather thankful her tactics does not require speed.

Her speed may be improved when she use 'Azure Spirit', allowing her to reach a top speed of about 27-29 kilometers per hour. More details below.

((The 'incredible speed' was an error on my part. Instead of kilometers, I put in miles. Sorry about that.))

Endurance –
As she enjoys using a defensive strategy in her battles, she also understands the need for a high amount of endurance. Hence, she has trained herself arduously to attain a large stamina, as well as a high threshold for pain. Furthermore, her special ability 'Azure Spirit' provides an enhancement to her stamina and ability to withstand pain.

Ordinarily, she can last a good 6 to 7 minutes of battling, but with 'Azure Spirit', she may be able to add another 13 minutes to it. However, if the enemy plays a delaying tactics, and forces her to strain any longer, she'll have to stop using 'Azure Spirit' and surrender, or strain further, vomit blood and faint instantly. (Both scenarios very much undesirable)

Having said that, 'Azure Spirit' does increase the threshold for pain, but only slightly- or rather, insignificantly. Mortal wounds will not be nulled by the usage of the 'Azure Spirit', as with other lesser wounds, including small cuts. (In short, 'Azure Spirit' has no regenerative properties)

Her usual threshold of pain is simple. Despite having trained to withstand pain, she is unable to fight on efficiently if she gets stabbed or slashed- she can fight, but not as well as before. The wounds will halve her competitive timing- which she can negate with 'Azure Spirit', at her own risk. (May die of blood loss before the 'Azure Spirit' even ends) The same goes for sprains, but to a lesser extent, as she can still fight on, disregarding it.

Bruise are too insignificant. They will not affect her in anyway, and even if it does, it is very slight.

As to the damage she sustains, it depends on the enemies. A strong attack which hits would naturally do more damage than a weak attack. Furthermore, as she rarely dons any full body armor at all, if the attack hits, it will deliver the full extent of what it can do. The only way she would defend against this is to use her shield, or defend herself with her spear.

Usually, she can keep up the top speed for about 3 minutes- with all her weapons and armor, meaning her ordinary attire without plate mail and the what not, on her, as well as items. On more normal occasions, she would be jogging, and can last for a decent enough 6 minutes before starting on a decline to a breathless state- where she have to stop and catch her breath. The decline takes about a minute. Her speed deteriorates greatly, and by the end of the minute, it reaches zero, and she must stop, or overtax her muscles and collapse.


(More details about how 'Azure Spirit' affects Endurance, below)

Reflexes –
Slightly above average. She may be able to react quicker than an ordinary person, but is not exactly the quickest person to react.

For instance, if someone shouts that an enemy is behind her just as the enemy is about to hit her, she is able to turn to face the enemy, but not be fast enough to counterattack.

That said, arrows and bolts are something she cannot evade by reflexes, which is where her shield comes into play. She would use the shield to cover up for her slowness in evasion.

Also, her senses are not as well honed as a skilled assassin. She may be able to hear noises, or smell something strange about the area, but is unable to immediately classify it as a threat and react to it promptly. It takes an enemy that announces his evil intentions to put her on guard. (Literally)

'Azure Spirit' alters her reaction timing, since it does affect her speed.

Fighting Style –
Defensive. Before she activates the 'Azure Spirit', her fighting style is a cautious and guerrilla-like. She attacks only after the opponent has done so, usually to catch him off guard. When the enemy tries to strike her, she quickly raises her shield to her defense.

All these she performs with relative ease and skillfulness- which can make her defenses seem impregnable if the enemy is unable to overcome it after some time. In order to minimize possible loopholes in her strategies, she often strikes from different angles, forcing the opponent to adapt to the change quickly, or lose the battle.

However, to the skilled warrior, it is easily to identify that her attacks are highly repetitive. From the observation, the warrior may then proceed on to best her in battle, effortlessly. It is only then that Alicia is prompted to use her ultimate skill, 'Azure Spirit'.

The tides may turn instantly, or the warrior, if strong enough, will be suddenly matched evenly. When she activates this skill, her strength increases alongside her stamina, thus she becomes more brave to adopt an aggressive battling style.

Instead of the usual defensive maneuvers, she turns to an all-out assault in a bid to force the enemy to defeat under her crushing blows. Not forgetting to mention the fact that she has got additional skills when she activates the 'Azure Spirit', the enemy will now have to face a terrifying opponent- who can unleash a flurry of magical assaults, or an onslaught of physical strikes.

Also, Alicia is rather light on her feet. She is able to perform back flips and forward flips with relative ease, and use them to her advantage in combat. To add on to this, her skills with her preferred weapon, the spear is top notch. By swinging it about swiftly, she can parry or strike as and when the situation calls for it.

However, she is susceptible to attacks if she miss a target in a strike, which is where her ability to flip aside comes into play. By making use of her uncanny ability to jump high easily, she could easily avoid most strikes at her, and deliver a dangerous strike the opponent from above.

Unfortunately, due to the nature of this attack, which is particularly dangerous to use against a prepared enemy, she rarely ever uses it unless desperate.

This jump reach about a height of 170cm.


Weapons –
Spear. The spear is pretty unusual. Instead of the usual pole which ends with a sharpened head, her spear has got an extremely sharp knife attached to it during it's creation.

This translates to dangerous usage, as the user has a tendency to hurt herself in battle, since the weapon is double-edged. If carelessly used, she may be able to cut herself with it as she swings it about. However, this was, ironically, the reason why she has excellent skills with the spear- due to constant practice to prevent herself from getting hurt by herself.

The spear's shaft is 1.2 meters long. The blade end of the weapon is 0.4 meters long.It weighs about 1.5kg, and is totally black in color. Even the blade end itself is somehow dyed black- or coated with a black-colored metal, Alicia doesn't know.

The weapon does not have any magical affinity, nor does it provide any protection against magic. Alicia could try holding it defensively against a spell, but will definitely spoil the weapon to some extent based on the incoming spell.

Also, the shaft is made of metal as well, so as to ensure that it can be used to protect against a sword in a more desperate situation.

((The first word, Spear, is actually linked to an image. That image should be the best image that portrays how the weapon should be visualized.))


Abilities –
Azure Spirit
This is her ultimate ability. With this, she could turn the tables on her enemies, or obliterate an entire squad of soldiers by herself. When she activates this skill, she is engulfed in an azure flame. Her eyes of onyx turns into a glowing ruby which signifies her magical potency. (The Azure Flames does not hurt her, but affects others, only under prolonged conditions, meaning the whole entire time Azure Spirit is in effect. It's just a slight scald though, nothing much)

The Azure Spirit represents her internal energies which are manifested in an azure color, and in the form of flames. These also contributes to an increment in strength, endurance, and agility- albeit for a considerable period of time. However, it comes at a cost of extreme tiredness after usage, or if strained beyond the limits, could force Alicia to vomit blood and lose consciousness.

In the worst cases, the energies within her may flow out in uncontrolled amounts and result in a massive explosion that destroys all around her, as well as herself. Fortunately, this is a rare scenario.

Additionally, she is able to use magic when this skill is used. Even so, the amount of spells she may use is limited and weak. It is her other natural skills, non-magical in nature, that are her gifts in this mode- as well as her speed.

The explanation as to how Azure Spirit actually affects her physically: In this mode,the energies within her would activate, and strengthen the muscles in her body. It does not alter the shape or whatever, but instead, gives it more energy to sustain physical activity. Just think of aerobic and anaerobic respiration in the muscles.

Azure Spirit supplies another source of energy other than those from respiration alone. With an added supply of energy, the muscles are now able to carry out longer periods of strenuous activity, hence, upping Alicia's endurance, and strength. Speed is subsequently increased due to the ability to push her muscles beyond the limits.

As to resilience: I refer to this in a psychological context- since a physical context may be rather similar to endurance. It is already known that Azure Spirit is able to heighten various physical aspects, as well as to grant several magical capabilities. Naturally, having put this skill to the test before, Alicia is rather confident, and reliant on this skill to bail her out.

Therefore, it is possible to imagine her resilience to increase with the usage of this skill, simply because she gets more confident, and more willing to push herself further despite losing at present. Unfortunately, this is also a double-edged sword. If she does not change the situation at some point, her confidence will vanish instantly, and she would edge towards fear. From there, whatever resilience she have had would dissipate, and it would be possible to get her to surrender.


Azure Spirit can be activated for a maximum of 15 minutes. During this period, she would experience a boost in her physical state, being able to endure a battle for a longer time and run or attack faster. However, the boosts does not stay at peak for the whole 15 minutes, but instead, embarks on a steady decline. As she edges toward the 15 minutes mark, she would get more tired, but will some will, it would be possible to forge, on, but at her own risk.

The negative impacts that follows are shown below:

She would be physically drained, even if she deactivated it just as quickly as she activated it- say, she activates it for one second, and deactivates it, for instance. Naturally, the longer she activates it, the more drained she would be, especially if she sustains injury during the time. By 'drained', I mean total weakness in arms and legs that disallows her to fight anymore. Walking itself would be challenging as well. (Which emphasizes the need for her to use it wisely)

Also, as the skill pushes her beyond her normal human limits, the muscles suffers greatly from this. Even if, like the above example, she deactivates it as fast as she activates, by using the spell, it's like seeing the pointer in the accelerometer go beyond the markings- the damage is already done. Thus, to use the skill, she would sacrifice a substantial amount of her muscle cells. (Which further explains why she would be physically drained)

If she uses the skill beyond it's maximum, she will immediately vomit blood out and lose consciousness. In worst cases, the energies would flow out of her uncontrollably and result in a massive explosion around her- this, however, is rare. She will be able know her limits by her level of tiredness.

((Hope this is enough to balance up))


Magic –
NOTE: Only usable after activating the 'Azure Spirit' There are only two spells though. But magic isn't her real specialty when the skill's activated.
Azure Flames
Just your ordinary fire spell. The only difference from most is that the fireballs are in blue- indicating a high temperature. Having said that, there is almost nothing else different about it- there are 2 fireballs, they are of the same size, of about 50cm in diameter. released and directed by the palm. This spell is moderately strong, and can serve as a distraction. She can cast about 40 of these in the 15 minutes she is in her Azure Spirit mode.

Assuming it hits a person head on, and further assuming the person is not wearing any armor, the fireball would give the person second degree burns. It will be lesser if the person have got magical resistance- particularly to the element, fire.


These fireballs move at a speed of 45km/h, slightly faster than the Azure Waves. Due to the fact these fireballs are released very quickly, they tend to be harder to avoid- especially when Alicia could take the opponent by surprise.

Azure Wave
This spell simply generates a wave which moves towards the enemy at a speed of about 40km/h. The wave is about 50cm in height, and hits like a slab of bricks. It sounds like a water elemental attack, but it is actually a non-elemental spell. This is the second and last spell she has, and moderately easy to dodge as well. She can cast about 50 of these.

When casted, the area right in front of her will suddenly bubble. These bubbles are blue in color, just like her Azure Flames, and in about 3 seconds, it will rise into a wave of the previously mentioned height, 50cm, and spread out into a horizontal line 50cm in length in front of Alicia. Thereafter, it will move towards the target at about 40km/h. The time it takes to form is exactly why it is easy to dodge.

Nightmarish Revelation
With her Azure Flames raging about her, she is now able to gather them about her weapon, and launch them to targets further away from her. When not concentrated, the Azure Flames around her seems weak, but when she does this, she focuses a large amount of the flames such that it becomes hot enough to melt metal.

However, the flames do not harm Alicia herself, and it is intelligent enough not to melt the weapon as well.

The flames are launched from her spear's blade end, and is blasted at a diameter of about 20cm, and hot enough to melt metal, as aforementioned. Due to it's small diameter, it calls for some careful aiming on Alicia's part to actually hit a target a distance away from her. This skill can hit at a maximum range of 20 meters.

The skill is quite easy to notice. Firstly, she gathers the Flames around her weapon, which is quite obvious- literally, you could see the flames moving around the weapon. Then, when the charging is done, she points the weapon at the enemy, and blasts it for a maximum range of 20 meters (Average).

She can also manifest the flames in other forms as well, say, darts for example. However, regardless of the shape of it takes, the spell would consume 15% of her total energy. (Generally means she can cast it for about a maximum of 8 times. Over usage would bring about a response similar to using Azure Spirit over the limit- meaning, vomiting blood, and losing consciousness, or blow up.)


Other Skills –
None

History –
A result of an experiment, Alicia was cruelly taken from her parents and promptly experimented upon by Magicians in an unknown laboratory. It is through this experimentation that she was given the ability, 'Azure Spirit'. Those Magicians were keen on finding out if they could infuse a person with magic, which could enhance the person's fighting abilities.

In short, Alicia was meant to be the ultimate fighting weapon. What would follow is supposed to be long hours of training which would allow her to gain sufficient muscles mass to use the skill. Being young at the time (Age 8), she was obedient to them. However, thanks to the presence of fellow experimental subjects, she was allowed to develop a personality.

Being the oldest prompted the older sister in her to emerge as she took good care of the younger ones. She would stay with the magicians for quite some time, till around age 16. By then, the Magicians had felt that they had trained the experimental subjects for long enough, and thought it wise to find out which was the strongest- by pitting them against one another.

Naturally, the years of being together had forged a strong bond amongst the children. Alicia herself was extremely defiant. Hence, they plotted against the Magicians.

On the day of the internal competition, the subjects were brought into a stadium which had a barrier that surrounded the field. This barrier was kept up by the Magicians themselves, and were presumably strong enough to withstand their beams of energies.

The call for battle was signaled with a cry from one of the Magicians, and instantly, the group carried out their plans, focusing fire on an area on the barrier. It would have worked if everyone did as they were told, unfortunately, some others had other thoughts in mind. They were more keen on their own survival.

Turning on their friends of about 8 years or lesser, they instead released the beams on them. Very quickly, the plan to escape was aborted, and they fought amongst themselves. Alicia was forced by circumstances to do so as well, and in the process, emerged the champion through her skills.

Nevertheless, her plan to escape had never been aborted. The mages immediately released their barrier upon noticing her to be the only one alive, and she hurriedly blasted a hole through the walls, and escaped through it. (The barrier took some time to cast, which also allowed her time to blast a hole big enough for her to crawl out)

She didn't stop running even after she made it through, running non-stop into the deep forest, until she finally felt safe in the embrace of darkness- at night. Finally pausing, she knew she had freedom now. The Magicians, on the other hand, sought to bring her back, but their efforts would be in vain since the girl would most probably repel anyone who tried to take her freedom.

Later on, reaching into civilization, she slowly adapted to the normal lifestyles of ordinary people, and learned to fend for herself. Taking a job as a mercenary, she has since provided for herself.
 
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Not Approved - See Below

ORPG/URPG/RPB

I assume this means you want to use this character in all three categories? Just let me know if that isn't the case.


Appearance –
One glance at the girl, one is easily able to identify her origins in the orient. She is fair-skinned, with bright, wide, eyes that usually exudes an aura of innocent and naivety. Her well groomed eye brows adds further strength and definition to her already pretty face.

She is often seen leaving her shoulder-length, jet black hair untied, freely hanging behind her back. Her fringe is long as well, but only a few strands of hair actually intercept her vision.

Her ears have detached earlobes, but these features of hers are usually covered by her hair most of the time. Her nose is small and indistinct, providing her a youthfully feminine appearance. Her small, petite, cherry red lips adds the finishing touches to her face, which most have complimented her for.

Alicia stands at a height of 168cm, and weighs about 60kg. Her general body line is, in a word, slim- or at least, lean.

Eye color? Complexion?

Furthermore, I'd add a little to the description of her body type. I'm getting a pretty good picture of her face, but I'd like a little more than "lean" to describe her physical makeup.

Generally, a bit more detail in this section would be good.

Armour –
Most of the time, she does not have the luxury of being provided an armor- due to it's costs. Thus, she only wears it if provided, or simply fight in her ordinary clothing.

If she dons her armor, she'll usually be seen decked in a full plate mail which covers from top to toe, as well as a medium helmet that does not cover her face. (It's too stuffy otherwise)

In battle, she'll rely on her shield as well, so the body armor does not matter too much to her.

A lot more description is required here, in terms of appearance of the armor. What does it look like? How heavy is it? From a standpoint of performance, how does wearing the armor benefit/hinder her fighting abilities?

Also, that aforementioned kite shield needs some further description.

Elaborate in this section more.



Strength –
Her strength is equally balanced out in both arms. As she uses a shield, she knows the importance of strengthening the shield arm (her left) as well. Thus, she has worked to improve on the amount of strength there. Though it is not comparable to her right arm, it is just as strong as the right arm.

(An analogy: If her arms were to compete against an opponent whose arms are equally balanced out, literally, both arms will achieve almost the same results, with the right arm either winning first, or losing later. )

That said, she can easily handle most heavy weaponry, but her lack of training in other weapons other than the shield and spear would make those weapons useless in her hands.

Her strength can be given a major boost by activating 'Azure Spirit'. More details below.

This section is a bit confusing, particularly that first part. Are you just trying to say that both of her arms are equally strong...or something else? Please clarify that portion.

Also, her strength needs some more qualifiers, i.e. how much can she lift and for how long, things like that. Refer to the Bio Template for particular ways in which to "assign numbers" to her strength.

More clarification/information needed here.

Speed –
Being a spear and shield user, she understands the need for swift, precise strikes. Thus, her attacking speed is exceptionally fast. However, the same cannot be said for her battles, which can drag to quite some time, due to the nature of her strategy- a defensive one.

When there is a need to escape, she can run at a top speed of about 21-23 miles per hour including the slight drag from her clothings and armaments. While she may not actually move as fast in battles, she is rather thankful her tactics does not require speed.

Her speed may be improved when she use 'Azure Spirit', allowing her to reach a top speed of about 27-29 miles per hour. More details below.

I've got some problems with her speed here. The range of speed you're describing is incredibly fast, and you haven't provided any indication as to how long she can maintain that top speed. Is there something special that allows her to be able to run so fast?

Speed is more than just how fast your character can run, but also things like endurance (speed-wise) and agility in combat. Elaborate more on these points.

Endurance –
As she enjoys using a defensive strategy in her battles, she also understands the need for a high amount of endurance. Hence, she has trained herself arduously to attain a large stamina, as well as a high threshold for pain. Furthermore, her special ability 'Azure Spirit' provides an enhancement to her stamina and ability to withstand pain.

Ordinarily, she can last a good 6 to 7 minutes of battling, but with 'Azure Spirit', she may be able to add another 13 minutes to it. However, if the enemy plays a delaying tactics, and forces her to strain any longer, she'll have to stop using 'Azure Spirit' and surrender, or strain further, vomit blood and faint instantly. (Both scenarios very much undesirable)

Having said that, 'Azure Spirit' does increase the threshold for pain, but only slightly- or rather, insignificantly. Mortal wounds will not be nulled by the usage of the 'Azure Spirit', as with other lesser wounds, including small cuts. (In short, 'Azure Spirit' has no regenerative properties)

Her usual threshold of pain is simple. Despite having trained to withstand pain, she is unable to fight on efficiently if she gets stabbed or slashed- she can fight, but not as well as before. The wounds will halve her competitive timing- which she can negate with 'Azure Spirit', at her own risk. (May die of blood loss before the 'Azure Spirit' even ends) The same goes for sprains, but to a lesser extent, as she can still fight on, disregarding it.

Bruise are too insignificant. They will not affect her in anyway, and even if it does, it is very slight.

(More details about how 'Azure Spirit' affects Endurance, below)

Elaborate on this section more, especially in terms of how much damage she would take from attacks, how long she can run before needing a break, etc.

Weapons –
Spear. The spear is pretty unusual. Instead of the usual pole which ends with a sharpened head, her spear has got an extremely sharp knife attached to it during it's creation.

This translates to dangerous usage, as the user has a tendency to hurt herself in battle. However, this was, ironically, the reason why she has excellent skills with the spear. In order to prevent herself from getting hurt too often, she is very careful when using it.

The spear's shaft is 1.2 meters long. The blade end of the weapon is 0.4 meters long.

On the other hand, it isn't a weapon but is part of her armaments. A 55cm long, and 40cm wide kite shield. The kite shield is undecorated, and seems more like a sheet of metal. It does not provide an exactly clear reflection, though it does reflect images to a small extent.

It can withstand most blows efficiently, and has a moderate magical resistance- it means it can survive a direct impact against a spell, but is not invulnerable to the effects of the spell. This means, it can protect Alicia against a fireball, but the shield will be freaking hot. For obvious reasons, I suppose. (If the spell has no other effect, then it will die at the shield)

Don't think this to be an extremely overpowered measure though. Read about her reflexes for more details. So long the spell strikes very quickly, the chances are she won't even be able to defend against it even when she activates her 'Azure Spirit' ability, unless she sees an attack coming beforehand.

Elaborate more on the apperance/weight of the spear. The portion in bold is also very confusing, please make it more easily understood in some way.

Also, does the spear have any magical properties that makes it special or unique? Just describe her weapon in more detail.

The shield needs more description as well...and really belongs under the "Armor" category.

Abilities –
Jump
Alicia is rather light on her feet. She is able to perform back flips and forward flips with relative ease, and use them to her advantage in combat. To add on to this, her skills with her preferred weapon, the spear is top notch. By swinging it about swiftly, she can parry or strike as and when the situation calls for it.

However, she is susceptible to attacks if she miss a target in a strike, which is where her ability to flip aside comes into play. By making use of her uncanny ability to jump high easily, she could easily avoid most strikes at her, and deliver a dangerous strike the opponent from above.

Unfortunately, due to the nature of this attack, which is particularly dangerous to use against a prepared enemy, she rarely ever uses it unless desperate.

Azure Spirit
This is her ultimate ability. With this, she could turn the tables on her enemies, or obliterate an entire squad of soldiers by herself. When she activates this skill, she is engulfed in an azure flame. Her eyes of onyx turns into a glowing ruby which signifies her magical potency. (The Azure Flames does not hurt her, but affects others, only under prolonged conditions, meaning the whole entire time Azure Spirit is in effect. It's just a slight scald though, nothing much)

The Azure Spirit represents her internal energies which are manifested in an azure color, and in the form of flames. These also contributes to an increment in strength, endurance, and agility- albeit for a considerable period of time. However, it comes at a cost of extreme tiredness after usage, or if strained beyond the limits, could force Alicia to vomit blood and lose consciousness.

In the worst cases, the energies within her may flow out in uncontrolled amounts and result in a massive explosion that destroys all around her, as well as herself. Fortunately, this is a rare scenario.

Additionally, she is able to use magic when this skill is used. Even so, the amount of spells she may use is limited and weak. It is her other natural skills, non-magical in nature, that are her gifts in this mode- as well as her speed.

Note, the endurance improvement Azure Spirit has is just an estimate, after taking the utilization of most of the skills into account. Without using a single skill after activating 'Azure Spirit', she could last about 16 minutes. However, the aftermath still stands.

Even if no skills were used, she will still be physically drained after she deactivates the skill.

The Jump ability really seems to be more of a description of her fighting style rather than an ability. Change that portion so it's more of a special ability...or remove it and add it to "Fighting Style".

I've also got some issues with the general lack of negative impacts of using Azure Spirit, and a general lack of logistical information regarding the ability. Be more specific on how it affects her strength/endurance/etc. How long can she use it?

Either way, I can almost guarantee that this ability will need more negative aspects before it can be approved, given that it seems to substantially increase all of her abilities. Focus on elaborating on this ability more and we'll revisit its "fairness" afterwards.

Magic –
NOTE: Only usable after activating the 'Azure Spirit' There are only two spells though. But magic isn't her real specialty when the skill's activated.
Azure Fira
Just your ordinary fire spell. The only difference from most is that the fireballs are in blue- indicating a higher temperature than the normal Fira. Having said that, there is almost nothing else different about it- there are 2 fireballs, they are of the same size, released and directed by the palm.. This spell is not very strong, and serves more as a distraction, most of the time. The energy it consumes is negligible, possibly about a mere 0.6% of her entire energy.

Azure Wave
This spell simply generates a wave which moves towards the enemy at a frightening speed. The wave is about 50cm in height, and hits like a slab of bricks. It sounds like a water elemental attack, but it is actually a non-elemental spell. This is the second and last spell she has, and extremely easy to dodge as well. This spell is cheaper than the first, albeit slightly, with 0.5% of energy consumption.

I'd remove the references to Fira in the first spell mentioned here, if you intend for this character to be original. How large are the fireballs? What effect would they have on an unarmored average person?

I don't understand how Azure Wave "moves at a frightening speed" and yet "is extremely easy to dodge" and costs next to nothing in terms of mana/energy.

Elaborate on both of these skills more, and clear up the inconsistency with Azure Wave.

Other Skills –
NOTE: Only available when 'Azure Spirit' is activated.

Nightmarish Revelation
With her Azure Flames raging about her, she is now able to gather them about her weapon, and launch them to targets further away from her. When not concentrated, the Azure Flames around her seems weak, but when she does this, she focuses a large amount of the flames such that it becomes hot enough to melt metal.

However, the flames do not harm Alicia herself, and it is intelligent enough not to melt the weapon as well.

This skill is quite easy to notice. Firstly, she gathers the Flames around her weapon, which is quite obvious- literally, you could see the flames moving around the weapon. Then, when the charging is done, she points the weapon at the enemy, and blasts it for a maximum range of 5 meters (Average). She could charge for a longer period of time for greater range.

An equation to calculate the energy loss relative to range. It's not that hard to understand, really.

Range/meters = (Energy Consumption/%)(0.5)

She could manifest the flames in other forms, like darts, or whatever she deems fit. However, when manifested in other forms, the size has to be taken into consideration. If it's larger than the usual form, naturally, more energy is consumed, and vice versa. Usually, she won't use more than 20% for this. (20% is a lot..)

I don't see any reason why this can't be under "Magic", since it's only one extra skill and it involves the Azure Flames.

Generally, the wording of this skill is just confusing. Is she launching flames from her weapon to a target? If so, how accurate is this ability at range? Does it have a maximum range? A lot of elaboration/clarification is required here.

Furthermore, that equation is actually not very clear at all, perhaps you could provide an example to make it more easily understood?

History –
...
A result of an experiment, Alicia was cruelly taken from her parents and promptly experimented upon by Magicians in an unknown laboratory. It is through this experimentation that she was given the ability, 'Azure Spirit'.

You definitely need a lot more information here. The History of your character should be the largest portion of the bio, especially if you intend on using her in an RPB. Elaborate a lot more on this, there should be at least two solid paragraphs here.

-------------------------------------

General Comments:

A lot of parts of this bio need some clarification and/or elaboration. Once you work on these individual parts and get them up to standard, we'll examine how they work together and see if anything needs tweaking.

Look over the comments I made, make some changes, then let me know when you're ready for me to look again.
 
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Edited. Thanks very much for the critique offered. I hope the edits would be a positive enough change.
 
Again, sorry for the delay in re-reviewing this bio.

I'm satisfied with the changes to Appearance, Speed, etc...I've got a much better picture now of Alicia's appearance and basic abilities.

I'd like to see a bit of tweaking/clarification to the Special Abilities, though.

Does Azure Spirit provide a constant boost to all of Alicia's "stats" for the entire 15 minute duration, or does the ability's effectiveness dissipate as the time goes on (the latter being more realistic). Also, how exactly does Azure Spirit affect her endurance and speed? Is her strength and/or resilience to attacks affected (hopefully not, for the sake of fairness)?

Also, for the other spells, are they only available during Azure Spirit? If so, then I can allow the number of casting times for Flame/Wave, otherwise those need some tweaking.

For Azure Wave, is the wave a complete circle out from Alicia, or some sort of arc? If the latter, how wide is the wave? For Azure Flame, how fast do the fireballs move? Are they easy to dodge?

Make these minor clarifications, and I can approve this bio.
 
Thanks for the reply, nonetheless.

I've made those minor changes as mentioned. They are in yellow, just to distinguish them from the original information.
 
By the way, thanks for changing the colors of your edits...it makes my job infinitely easier. :wacky:

The changes you made are fine by me, I've got no problem with approving this. Have fun with Alicia. :monster:

Moved and Merged.
 
Damn Long Bio: Music's Character

Seems I’m rather bored again. However, this time, I’m creating this character with a real intention to use her for roleplay battling. Hence, I suppose this should be one of my best character bio yet? Who knows? Here goes.

Inspired by… L4D’s Witch + FFIV’s Rubicante

Do tell me if I can reduce some of the Mana Costs, or cast timings. I tried to put them as high as possible in hope that the spell would not be too overpowered.

Header Color

Sub-Header Color

Original Content Color

Edited Content Color

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ORPG/URPG/RPB

Name –
Unity Ilf

Title –
Elementalist

Alignment –
Lawful Neutral

Race –
Human (Mage)

Gender –
Female

Age –
20

Appearance –
The gorgeous beauty sports a long milky white hair that reaches down to her waist. Her eyebrows are clearly defined, and her nose is dainty. Her hair is cut in a fringe to cover her eyebrows. Matching these, is a small, oval face, and eyes with irises of red, blue, grey, yellow or green (Explained below)- and ears with a detached earlobe. However, her complexion mars her otherwise natural beauty.

She is fair to a frightful extent. It is almost as if she is a perfect creation of a humanoid clay figure that could move. That said, her skin tone aside, the other features of her appearance is worth complimenting.

For instance, her shapely body leaves a trail of drooling men. That goes hand in hand with her moderately sizeable assets. Yet, it would be a mistake to visualize her as an unhealthily thin model. She may be slim, but it is still within a healthy range.

Unity stands at a height of 1.76m, and weighs 54kg- slightly underweight for her height.

Attire – (Link: Dress = http://www.inspiredinsanity.com.au/images/uploads/womens clothing/dress lace red 6.JPG

Cloak = http://www.sharpe-designs.com/images/catDS JK9694blackred.JPG)
Her attire is simple, and fixed. Often, it would comprise of a crimson gothic-themed lace dress. Over this, would be a black cloak that completely enshrouds her body within. This cloak is red on the inside, is waterproof and resistant to fire.

She also wears black heels to match her overall appearance. Although it hinders movement to some extent, it makes her seem taller.

She carries her items by magically depositing them in a separate dimension, and withdrawing them when needed. However, all these would be done in the shelter of the cloak, so no one usually notices this.

Armour –
Unity thoroughly detests wearing armor, and never would because it would hinder her movement abilities. Hence, the armor that she has would be the cloak she wears as part of her usually seen attire.

This cloak is named ‘The Cloak of Hatred’, a magical artifact. It provides protection against fire to a small extent. However, it only serves as a layer for the fire to break against. The heat will be absorbed by the cloak and may become too hot for Unity to wear. What is meant by ‘protection against fire’ is as said.

This cloak is like metal, and only burns at temperatures of around thousands.

There are no other pieces of clothing on her that would provide protection, nor does she bother to pick up anything to add to her defense.

Personality –
Unity is a relatively quiet person. Due to her general lack of interaction from young, she finds it difficult to befriend another person. Others tend to avoid her, thanks to her appearance as well. Nonetheless, she is happy to socialize if the other party would have it.

In conversations, she is formal and polite. Do note that this extends to whomever she is doing battle with. She relies very heavily on others to start conversations and keep it going.

During battles, however, she becomes more open. It is as if her true personality is unlocked. Suddenly speaking more than usual, she expresses her confidence explicitly throughout the battle. It is only when she is fighting a losing battle, that she becomes more silent.

First Impression –
Frightening. Meet her at night, and one would probably remember Unity for having scared the guts out of them. Even in day, she seems rather terrifying. Her unnatural skin tone draws many wary glances and to people meeting her for the first time, they may think they are seeing ghosts in reality. Trying to speak with her does only a little to improve on the impression.

Being usually formal and polite in conversations, the speaker may find that they could not match her social status, and thus be discouraged from befriending her.

However, if Unity has some sort of interest in the person, she would speak a bit more to know about the person, but that usually makes the person think her to be some kind of nosey parker.

Strength –
Her strength is extremely average. Just like any ordinary person, she can lift the everyday objects like cutleries, plates, and etcetera. However, once it comes to heavy boxes and stuff related to hard labor, which goes beyond her limits, she has no means to hold them for a period longer than 15 minutes. (And those objects could probably be around 10kg)

An unarmed combat with magic disallowed would probably result in her losing. Assume the enemy has 500 HP. Her punches would probably do a pathetic 2, or 1.

Speed –
She can move at a fairly decent speed, at least, for a short distance. Long distance running is beyond her, but short distances are within her limits. Within this limits, she can reach a top speed of about 20km/h- including the drag caused by her cloak.

However, when she’s not escaping, she can move about deftly to avoid blows or magical spells. Unfortunately, attacks coming at her at close range are something she cannot avoid with ease. Thankfully, moves coming from some distance are easier to dodge. (Though she may slip up occasionally)

Endurance –
As suggested by her amount of strength, her endurance is nothing impressive. Most of her attack strategies revolve around the usage of magic, and hence, there is little need to strain herself physically. With regards to magic, due to her large mana capacity, she is able to sustain a barrage of spells for a considerably sustained period of time- meaning, about 14 minutes.

However, physically, the need to dodge and evade enemy blows proves to be quite a problem. At her best, she can manage about 19 minutes, but this excludes successful strikes into the equation. If the enemy scores a strike, it would be reduced dramatically.

Having said that, her threshold of pain is very low. Punches itself would already take away a minute from her as she staggers to recover. Kicks would hurt a bit more, and cause her to lose balance. Successful strikes with weaponry would no doubt immobilize her for even longer periods- 3 minutes for instance.

When in need of escaping, she can manage her top speed for a time of 2 minutes. With injuries included, that would probably be about a minute or so, but all of which are probably enough to escape from the opponent.

Reflexes –
Her physical reflexes are not as brilliant as her mental reflexes. Blows coming at her may strike successfully, but the moment it appears, she is already processing her next move. This dependence on her mental processes results in poor reaction physically. Hence, most strikes would hit her, if released at close range.

However, at some distance, she gets enough time to put her thought processes into action by casting a spell to her defense. Casting spells takes some time, however, so Unity herself may screw up occasionally. If she meets with arrows or guns, that would make her worse off, with her moving about constantly to stay out of the opponent’s aim.

Speaking of senses, she may not be able to detect noises or smell as acutely as a trained assassin. Though, she can easily detect something different about the place, but if the source remains silent or move about as silently as possible, s/he can evade Unity’s detection.

Fighting Style –
Her fighting style involves the heavy usage of magic spells to deliver immense damage to her opponents. However, she expertly intermixes defensive spells with offensives one to create a well-balanced strategy.

When taking the offensive, she usually mixes in various spells from different elements to diversify the attack plan. This variance would make it more difficult for the enemy to find out a definite attack pattern from her, and hence make it trickier to overcome.

When on the defensive, she calls up barriers of the various elements to either stop or hold against an attack. Like her offensive strategy, she tries to vary this as much as possible to confuse the enemy.

However, should offensive and defensive fail to put the enemy a distance away, she would then rely on sidestepping or running off to create some distance. Unfortunately, in her haste, she would run in a straight path, making it easier for a ranged enemy to shoot her down.

Weapons –
None. She does not use any weapons. She has reached a level where casting spells only require her own hands to channel the mana from herself. Thus, there is no weapon needed from herself.

Abilities –
Her strongest ability lies in her magic, which people have aptly named ‘Elementalism’. Unity has a powerful control over all the elements and can manipulate them at her own will.

Quick thinking. Her talent with magic comes from her own mental prowess. She is gifted with the ability to be resourceful, and react quickly to situations- at least, mentally.

Magic –
She has control over various elements. Hence, I shall separate all her spells to their individual elements. These elements compose all of the elements there is in her magic-using tribe. This means: Fire, Water, Wind, Lightning, and Earth. Her iris color changes with the spell she uses. Detailed below.

-Fire- (Iris color: Red)

Ignite:
This spell literally calls flames on a specific area. The flames are blue in color, which indicates a very high temperature. However, as mentioned, this calls flames on a specified location. Should the enemy choose to move away, the fire would burst in the area he was once in, virtually burning nothing but air.

This spell costs little to use- around 0.1% of her mana- and lasts for 1.5 seconds. When casting, there is a 3 seconds delay before the spell appears, giving an opponent with fast reflexes time to evade. The flames burns at a temperature that would hurt people wearing only clothes, but those wearing armor may survive this with lesser injuries, except their metal armor would be heated to a painful level.​

Flames of Fury:
The spell blasts a beam of fire that rushes at the direction Unity faces her palm. The flames are also blue in color. The beam extends to a length of 2 meters, and has a width of 0.5 meters.

This spells costs about 0.8% of her mana. It lasts for 3 seconds, and has the ability to melt iron if it should hit its mark. The spell has no delay, but takes 1 second for Unity to cast before it appears. When it does appear, it travels at a speed of 30km/h to reach its full length of 2 meters.

When she casts this spell, she must face her palm in the direction of her enemy. A red-colored magic circle will form right in front of her palm, and the flames will burst forth from the seal, not her hands. So, there is a space between the seal and her hand to those who look at her from the side.
It is possible for her to cast this spell using both hands, but that would cost twice, though the casting time and manifestation time for the fire is the same in both hands.​

Mark of Fire:
This spell creates a mark of fire on the target, granting Unity the ability to detect his presence no matter where s/he goes. This spell requires direct contact with the person. After doing so, a triangle will form on the area where Unity made contact. This triangle glows with a faint red color, and will make the region feel warm to the marked person- though it won’t hurt.

The Mark of Fire costs 0.5% of her mana to cast. It does not have any delay once the incantation is chanted. All it requires is for the caster to touch the target. Once it is cast on the target, Unity gains an instinctive knowledge of the enemy’s location. However, to her, it’s not like she can see exactly where the enemy is, but rather, ‘have a feeling’ that the opponent is in a particular area.

This ‘feeling’ is what the Mark of Fire provides. It is the exact location of the enemy, and can be used to her advantage. The Mark of Fire lasts 3 minutes, and will wear off without the opponent noticing. The warm sensation in the region where the mark once was would last about half a minute longer after the Mark’s disappearance.​

-Water- (Iris color: Blue)

Illusory Bubble:
This spells creates a human sized bubble, which reflects the image of Unity. Although it does has no ability to harm the enemy whatsoever, it provides a strategic usage that could trick the enemy into moving into a target location. This bubble dissipates upon physical attack.

This spell costs 0.8% of her mana- and for only one bubble. The bubble formed takes a rectangular shape of 2 meters high, and 1 meter wide. Depending on Unity’s location, this bubble may be faced differently so long it reflects Unity’s image to the opponent. Note, also that the bubble changes its angle to ensure the image remains directly in front of the target.

However, once Unity moves, this image vanishes, and the spell dissipates. Unless destroyed physically or unless Unity moves, this spell would last for a good 10 minutes.​

Wave:
This spell creates a wall of water. This wall of water is 0.5m high, and 1m wide. Its thickness is 0.4m. When cast, the wall of water will form directly in front of Unity and reach its final proportions within 2 seconds. Thereafter, it will be directed towards the target location at a speed of 50km/h. The wall of water hits like a slab of stones, and should cause some hurt.

This spell costs 0.6% of her mana, for every single wave cast. The wave will not stop until it reaches the target location. When it does, the wave will simply break away instantly at the location. The waves are able to travel a distance of maximum 10m. Any more would require more mana at 0.1% for 1m.​

Tentacles of Kraken:
This spell is her strongest water magic. When cast, 4 tentacles are formed in mid-air and connect themselves to Unity’s back. These tentacles are composed of water, but are able to hit like a metal club. They are 2m in length, and are 0.2m in thickness. These tentacles are controlled by Unity herself, and move at her own will.

They last for about 15 minutes, and cost 5% of her mana. The tentacles take a minute to form, which translates to about 15 seconds for one tentacle.​

-Wind- (Iris color: Grey)

Slicing Gale:
This spell generates a powerful wind that is directed towards the enemy. Subsequently, on reaching the enemy, the spell has the potential to cut through flesh easily. However, it will only dent metal armors, and cut leather armors (Without hurting the person).

This cost 0.4% of her mana, and takes 5 seconds to generate. Enemies would be able to tell this spell is coming from the sudden windiness of the area. The wind travels at a speed of 80km/h, and would not change direction once it is released. It has a length of 3m and a width of 0.5m.

Also, due to the fact the wind is moved by Unity’s magical powers, the wind that is released has some sparkle to it.​

Air Blast:
This spell generates a strong blast of air to push the enemy back. This spell has no ability to hurt anyone severely, save for a bruise should the person knock into something. Nevertheless, if the person does not hit anything when pushed back, s/he sustains no evident injury.

This spell is relatively cheap, and costs only 0.01% of her mana. It works only on the area specified by placing her palm parallel. As noticed from using Slicing Gale, the blast of air that pushes the enemy back has got some sparkle to it as well.​

Wind’s Blessing:
This is Unity’s strongest Wind spell. By casting this spell, she enchants herself to allow the wind to aid her in movement. This allows her to move at an additional 5km/h should she be running. Which also means that her physical attacks would be more powerful as well.

Though, as Unity never trained to engage in physical combat, this benefit is relatively pointless. The spell costs 2%, and is instantaneous. Once cast, Unity gains its buffs for 5 minutes. As already noticed in all her wind magic- which had all the wind generated by accompanied by some sparkle- this spell creates a sparkle in her every movement.​

-Lightning- (Iris color: Yellow)

Storm Bolt:
This spell releases a dreadfully powerful bolt of lightning that delivers a large amount of hurt to Unity’s enemies. When cast, this spells is directed from her hands, and moves in a straight line for a distance of 10 meters at light speed.

However, before the bolt is released, Unity must first allow a seal of lightning to form around her hands, only then would the spell happen. This takes about half a minute to form. Nevertheless, this bolt of lightning has only one branch, and will not split into a wide spread ‘lightning tree’ – literally.

This spell is one of Unity’s most used offensive spells, largely due to its damage. Due to its damage too, the spell costs 2% to cast. The bolt, due to it’s small area of effect, is relatively inaccurate, but still, if enemies are close enough- roughly about 0.3m in range, they will be stunned momentarily by the bolt, though they suffer no damage from the bolt itself.

The damage caused by the spell is unlike being struck by lightning in reality. One does not die instantaneously. Instead, due to its magical origins, this spell would deliver damage equivalent to getting impaled by a broadsword- minus the wound and blood. How the enemy handles this injury is dependent on where the attack lands. Naturally, hitting the vital organs would be dangerous.​

Thunderstorm:
This spell calls forth a thunderstorm, which strikes randomly in a radius of 4 meters around Unity. This spell happens instantaneously upon being cast, and lasts for 2 minutes. It takes only 3 seconds to chant the incantation required for this spell, so this is one of the spells enemies may not notice her casting.

However, one can notice this spell when the weather is calm and peaceful, as the sky would immediately become gray the moment the spell is cast. Unfortunately, if the battle occurs in stormy weather, they may not notice the spell.

The bolt of lightning is significantly weaker than Storm Bolt, and looks different as well. While it is still single bolts of lightning dropping from the sky, these bolts are all 1 meter in length, and only 0.05m in width. It does damage equivalent to arrows, and fall from the sky in a mass.

On the average, the spell releases about 10 bolts down to the earth every 15 seconds. This spell is also intelligent enough to ensure the bolts do no damage to Unity.

Due to the magnitude of this spell, it costs 4% to cast.​

Lightning Aura:
This spell creates an aura around Unity that grants her an immense potential at utilizing the element of lightning. It lasts for 4 minutes, and is the most expensive spell in her arsenal, at 10% per use. However, this costly spell is particularly devastating.

It takes one full minute to cast, but when released, one can see bolts of lightning swirling around Unity. These bolts of lightning do no damage when touched. It is only when Unity channels those bolts, that they may have any effect.

Nevertheless, this spell permits her to use the above spells, Storm Bolt, and Thunderstorm with no casting time. All it takes is a thought, and the spells would be cast. She can also call in bolts of lightning from the sky, without calling in the storm clouds that are characteristic of the spell, Thunderstorm. It is also possible for her to manipulate the bolt into a blade, which she can use, though this blade breaks immediately upon impact. Hitting this blade is like hitting against a wall; the blade does have some physical effect, but absolutely no magical effect, or effects of lightning.

It also makes her invulnerable to any form of lightning attacks.

Note, also, that is not possible for Unity to cast any other spell when in this state. Casting any other spell within this state would cancel this spell, and render Unity unable to cast this spell for the next 15 minutes.​

-Earth - (Iris color: Green)

Earth Spike:
This spell summons a sharp spike that protrudes from the earth instantaneously. It is able to pierce through light armor, but would only dent metal armor. This spell can be noticed from the rumbling of the earth beneath the feet. However, the exact location where the spell is to be located cannot be pinpointed.

Unity is able to control the spikes’ location, and may place it on locations where nothing is on it- for strategic purposes. This spell is relatively cheap, with a cost of 0.2% per spike. The sharp end of the spike is 0.3m in width. The spikes shoot from the ground at a speed of 100km/h, which makes it relatively hard to dodge. When the spell ends, this spike will be withdrawn back into the earth.​

Earthen Wall:
This spells calls forth a wall of Earth that has high magical resistance, but is easily crushed by physical impact. When cast, a wall of earth of 5m high and 3m wide rises from the ground to its maximum height in 15 seconds. This wall can easily protect against all the elements except Water. This, however, applies to its magical properties.

It is unable to withstand any physical blow of any kind. Assuming a warrior charges at the wall, he can easily rush through the wall and send it collapsing. This wall is composed of magically enchanted soil, which explains its physical weakness. This spell costs 3% to cast, because of the complexity of shaping the soil.

It can last for 5 minutes, provided the opponent does not break it down.​

Golem:
This spell summons the mighty Golem of the Earth to do battle for Unity. The Golem looks like a muscular wrestler at 3m tall. Its fists are roughly about the size of the human head. It is made up of some unknown minerals from the ground, which is magically enchanted to be particularly strong.

Its body is like a metal armor, and can withstand a huge amount of physical punishment before going down. However, it is extremely susceptible to magical attacks. This is result of the magic that holds the golem together. When a spell touches the golem, the magic goes haywire for the region in contact with the spell. This causes that segment to explode.

Like ordinary humans, if the golem loses its head, its ‘dies’- though it is more accurate to say that it merely returns back to the earth.

The spell, when cast, would take effect instantly. From the ground, the Golem will rise. The soil around will gather to form the shape of the golem. It is possible for the enemies to attempt to destroy the golem while it is being formed, however, it will not cancel the spell, nor destroy the golem.

The Golem may only be destroyed once it is completely summoned. (Magic may be used to great effects, but when it is still being formed, the Golem will merely reform itself.)

The Golem takes 30 seconds to form, and last for 10 minutes. However, it costs 20% of her mana. If the Golem manages to last a full 10 minutes, it will simply crumble and collapse back to the earth. That signifies the end of the spell.​

History –
Unity was born to village of Magic, Mysteral. This village specialized in Magic, and every single inhabitant was skilled in a specific element. There was not a single person that could not use Magic, and Unity was no exception. In fact, she was gifted with the ability to wield more than just one element; she had control over 5 elements.

However, born to be the daughter of the Village Head, she was not allowed to learn any offensive magic. In fact, combat magic was thoroughly restricted from her, as her father thought it was rather unladylike for a female to do battle. Nevertheless, determined to learn combat magic, she secretly stole away to the Magic Academy to learn.

It helped that her father had often kept her out of the scrutiny of the public. He knew about her potential with the five elements, and feared the village may want her to learn combat magic to be the village’s champion. Furthermore, Mysteral was located just a few miles away from their rival village, Anrna, which was a warrior’s village.

The two villages held a monthly competition to determine which village had the best warriors. This also served as a good way to prevent war between the two. However, the winner gets to dictate what he wanted the loser to do. This competition was held on a small stage, which meant the opposition could easily close the gap between them and close in on the Mysteral champion.

Mages have never excelled in close combat, and hence, their loss had been affirmed for the past decade. Worse still, the winners always choose death for the losers. As a result, Mysteral had been losing some of its best combat mages. Rumors has it that Anrna was planning to conquer Mysteral soon, and it is this rumor that made the village head more protective over his daughter.

He then involved her more in the learning of the more ‘elegant’ arts, like tea making, and etiquette lessons. While Unity put up a good show of being the good student, she was also learning secretly from the Magic Academy, and have already reached a level of a Master for the five elements she had control over.

By the age of 19, her confidence in her own magical abilities was at high. It wasn’t overconfidence on her part either. She had been taking part in underground tournaments held within Mysteral- and winning every single one of them. Unbeknownst to her father, the village was already calling her the ‘Elementalist’.

It was evident then, which they had in mind to send to the monthly tournament between Anrna and Mysteral.

For the village chief, who still had no idea about this, this came as a huge shock. The village showed their support to have Unity represent them, and got rowdy at the village chief’s disapproval. However, Unity was raring to go. Her father could not stand in her way.

However, to provide the highest possible chance of winning, the village chief called in the best tutors in the elements to educate her. It was then he learned about her secretly learning combat arts. He also got to see how powerful she had been, and assured by this strength, he permitted her to go.

The competition was traditionally held in the plains between the two villages. The square stage which they would do battle in was relatively small, at about 10 m for all sides. Looking at the size, Unity realized how the previous mages could have lost. It was almost impossible for them to put some distance between the warriors and them.

Nevertheless, Unity had been prepared for this. The battle ended in a startling defeat for the warriors. It was the first time they had ever lost, and the warrior himself was a veteran that had been fighting since the start of this entire tournament.

Unity’s request of the loser was simple; it was for the conflict between the two villages to end, and for the two to co-exist peacefully, and harmoniously. Tasked with this request, the warrior had to return to accomplish this. Naturally, it wasn’t easy, but Unity continued to participate in the tournaments until she was 20.

By then, due to the number of warriors she had tasked (16, to be specific)- some of them from influential families- the discord between the two villages ceased. She was promptly crowned a village heroine.

However, with peace reigning in the lands, she thirsted for adventure..
 
Longest..... bio...... ever. :gonk:

:wacky:

Spells listed need balancing. (Up energy and/or down damage/length/AoE)

Ignite: Either
Flames of Fury: Either
Thunderstorm: Either
Golem: Energy drain

Other than that, everything else looks good.
 
Bring it on! XD

Anyway, I've made the changes. A brief summary of the changes as follows:

Ignite - Increased mana cost from 0.01% to 0.1%, and the casting delay from 1sec to 3sec.

Flames of Fury- Increased mana cost from 0.2% to 0.8% and casting time from 0.5sec to 1sec.

Thunderstorm- Reduced AOE of spell from 5m to 4m, and duration from 3min to 2min

Golem- Increased mana cost from 15% to 20%.


I hope these changes are sufficient enough! :D
 
Yeah, I can handle that.

approved_Full.jpg


Moved & Merged.
 
Nice.. That IS long. Didn't see it enough before. Anyway, over at the Fighter's Quarry section of the forums, I have put up a tread for a 1v1 RPB. You can sign up if you're interested. I think it'll be interesting to see two mages engaging in a duel. (Think Harry Potter, I suppose)
 
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