Poetry The Unspoken Melodies

[Exoskeleton]

So I've decided to share some song's I've written. I plan on performing these in the future if possible. Can't waste $30 of copywrite xD. I dunno if they are good but I hope to get some feedback...

Roots Above and Branches Below
By Josh Sanders​

With roots above and branches below
There's nowhere else that I could go
These places flutter the image of you
As this casket faces towards the roof​

With roots....and Branches (Below us)
With roots....and Branches (Below us)​

Now Normally I'd respect the dead
You're the only exception instead
You ripped and tore and pulled apart
The shadow of my broken heart
These peices, fragments, memories of you
I cannot see cause you are through
And you had no regrets my dear
Death's srticken you down now you show no fear​

You've ripped and tore and pulled apart
The shadow of my broken heart
You've ripped and tore and pulled apart
The shadow of my broken heart
And branches below and roots above
Erase the traces I'm thinking of
I'll see you someday, I can't tell
But for now may you rest sweetly in hell​

With roots...and Branches (below us)
With roots...and Branches (below us)​

All we ever felt was here
These emotions eveloped in fear
Are gone now that you're dead
And all the world I'd tread
To see....
That me...
And she...
Will never fall apart.​

There's roots of us above you as your lowered in the ground
With branches and brambles spread throughout this world, all around​

You ripped, you tore
There's nothing else in store.
You pulled apart
A cracked and broken heart...​

Cardiac Kid
By Josh Sanders​

Breaking our hearts he's the Cardiac Kid,
He never really knew what to make of his,
Life: he's been held tight speeding through the fast life
Of rage and hate (Oh, he'll break it break it)
Of sex and drugs (Yeah he'll take it take it)​

He breaks everything he holds
He likes them young and he never grows old
He can't stop it, he needs it, he can't really see that it
Breaks him down (Oh he's pushing through it)
He hates it but (he can't stop doing it.)​

"Ba-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da!"​

You'd think by now he'd learn
His wife's a little concerned
He beats her, every time she screams but
This time around (it's gonna be different)
This time around (a gun's been fully loaded)​

Hey kid, you're breaking her with it,
Hey kid, don't go home
Too late, to heed my words
The lead she holds will truly hurt​

Home at ten and drunk off beer,
This man couldn't see well, barely could hear
He saw her sitting there seady in an armchair
He raised his fist, she shot...​

And the bullets sang
"Ba-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da!"
"Ba-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da!"
"Ba-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da!"​

You're breaking our hearts kid, you're breaking them.
Your living the dream, yes you're living it
As hard as it seems kid, you're all grown up and
Somewhere you lost your way​

Somehow you broke our hearts
Somehow you broke her heart
Nobody knows where it got it's start​

But along somewhere in time we'll be fine...​

 

[Sexy Beast]

Just let me say that was quite the poem/song. I really enjoyed it, and I can really see this becoming a smash hit .. But there is one part of this that i do believe could use a revisement.

All we ever felt was fear
These emotions eveloped in here

The bolded words i think should be swapped. As in my opinion it should be

"All we ever felt was here,
These emoption eveloped in fear"

It just sounds better and brings more emotion imo. Aside from that, excellent job on this. I look forward to more

 

[Exoskeleton]

Ha! thanks so much for your feedback LG! It was really helpful!

The next one I wrote a while ago and tried to remember the whole thing! xD It was based off the username of someone on the forums and when I thought about it I randomly wrote a song. Hopefully I'll have a band in the future to play these songs but all will come in time! XD Anyways thanks!