The New Double-Standard....

[Ayumi Hamasaki]

I've started to notice that slowly but surely men are becoming the victims of sexism...and it's being ignored.

If we care too much about our appearance we're annoying. Woman are allowed to do either. If we wear women's clothing (like jewelry or pants) we're weird..but woman are allowed to wear what's typical thought of as man's clothes.

And what about films and novels like Twilight? That shamelessly use the same sex tactics that usually upset people when they feature woman..but when it's men no one cares?

I think it's really missed up myself...

 

[The Witch]

Being a woman, I see it happening sometimes, too. Not that much though.

Personally, I wouldn't be too comfortable with my man being so lost in his clothes, what shoes he will wear, how his hair looks--I grew up in a house where men aren't into THAT kind of stuff, so it's odd to me. I'm use to the scruffy, I-don't-give-a-damn-about-my clothes-kinda guys.

I mean, yeah, men should dress cleanly, that's just gentlemanly. But when it gets to the point of they freak out about their clothes... I start getting freaked out to.

I'm supposed to be the one worried about how I look all the time, not them.

 

[RedJeepXJ]

I agree, and it's also quite prevalent in the the two threads on genital mutilation here. We have a law protecting WOMEN ONLY from genital cutting, but cut right away on a man for whatever trivial reason you want, it's absurd and nothign gets more sexist then that.

 

[Ayumi Hamasaki]

I'm supposed to be the one worried about how I look all the time, not them.

But why? Because it's different? That's what I don't get.

And what's so bad about different? I think it's a change for the best. I shouldn't have to worry about how manly I am any more than a woman should have to worry about how womanly she is. It shouldn't be that way anymore.

It's like music. I like Madonna so I must be gay. Forget the fact that girls like rap music like 50 Cent about having sex with girls. I'm not allowed to like Dance Music because I'm a boy..

It's just said that things are this way.

 

[Rydia]

Yes I agree that there are double standards out there. Though with the whole worrying about looks, I don't think either gender should have to do such a thing. But if either wants to, they should be able to do so with out getting hell from other people.

My fiance is a 'typical' man, he'll pull out whatever is in his drawer, completely wrinkled, and throw it on and I often have to tell him to fix his hair. I wish he cared more about his appearance. My brother on the other hand, is the complete opposite and spends more time in the bathroom working on his appearance than I do D:

 

[Ewan]

I have known men who have been called gay because they cared about what clothes and shoes they were wearing. It's really stupid because it's become something that only girls are allowed to do. Why? Who cares if they want to put some thought into their appearance? I respect men who do so because they are comfortable enough with their sexuality to face people with this sort of mentality.

And I know what you mean about guys wearing women's clothes. Girls who wear men's clothes are just called tom boys but are usually still considered straight but men who wear women's clothes are automatically gay/queer/bi/freak. At least that's what I've seen.

 

[The Witch]

I agree, and it's also quite prevalent in the the two threads on genital mutilation here. We have a law protecting WOMEN ONLY from genital cutting, but cut right away on a man for whatever trivial reason you want, it's absurd and nothign gets more sexist then that.

Oh, I'd argue that. What about the U.S. Healthcare system paying for Viagra but not abortions or birth pills?

But why? Because it's different? That's what I don't get.

No. Because, that's how it's always been. Men do certain things while women do certain things. We've always had some kind of distinguishing line between us, but it's getting very blurry now that women dress like dudes and men dress femininely, with their tight pants and pretty jewelry.

Call me old fashion but I prefer my man interested in cars and sports rather than the shopping channel, I also prefer my men to not fret for their clothes--leave that to us girlies.

 

[Sum1sgruj]

I'm not sexist, though I definitely have my own thoughts on it:

Woman have the benefit of the doubt in mostly any situation, to be perfectly honest. It's not a bias opinion,, it's actually quite relevant. Woman have the advantage to not be judged by what they do, simply because it's overlooked by men. That's why some woman get carried away and become naive in certain scenarios, because they haven't been enlightened on what and what isn't appropriate.
For example, some woman claim that because they get something accomplished, men should be able to do the same. What they don't understand is that there are, for the most part, no free handouts for men. We have to grind to get things done.

Of course, I'm not speaking for ALL woman, I'm just speaking of our culture at large.

That's why I'm not surprised to see men being exhausted by sexism these days. If you look around, you'll see a lot more females having jobs and unconditional support from,, whoever. Men have to find their own way, with no help or social advantage.

 

[Gaige]

I believe that there are double standards, yes. There needs to be balance, in my opinion. Yes, women have been horribly mistreated over the years, but switching the power scale for the next 2000 years will only mean more trouble.

There needs to be balance. Women are almost solely shown in media and news as victims of sexual and spousal abuse even though male victims exist out there. With such an unbalanced view of gender victimization, how can we possibly achieve any balance?

In my opinion, the scale needs to be tipped a little, yes. But how does switching the roles to allow women to be dominant and men submissive help? We need some kind of balance, in which men and women have equal rights in absolutely everything possible.

 

[RedJeepXJ]

Oh, I'd argue that. What about the U.S. Healthcare system paying for Viagra but not abortions or birth pills?

so protection from a permanent life changing mutilation that forever reduces sexual pleasure is less important then getting something paid for? really?

I would gladly pay all that out of pocket to have my genitals intact, without question.

BTW......the blame on abortion/birth pills lays solely with the religious, not the sexists so your statement is misplaced anyways.

 

[Valvalis]

BTW......the blame on abortion/birth pills lays solely with the religious, not the sexists so your statement is misplaced anyways.

I was actually about to mention this too--birth control and abortions are still largely controversial in many places, while I'm pretty sure most people--male and female--have no problem with drugs like Viagra that are designed to enhance sexual performance Unless there are some groups out there who are against sex, which I guess is possible

As far as gender discrimination, I think the whole idea behind it is a ridiculous crock. In my life I have met so many smart and idiotic people from both genders that I refuse to believe anyone who says one is superior to the other in any way. It removes a lot of both credit and responsibility from individuals, and it's a revolting idea. For example, if women were "known" to be smarter than men from some random study or something, then if a woman accomplished something great, people would just say "Hey, it's just because she's a woman, she has an advantage and she didn't have to work as hard for it as a man would have," which would not be fair to that woman who worked hard. Or, if a man was "known" to be less intelligent than a woman, then if he made a big mistake with something, he could get off the hook more easily because people would say "Hey, it's just because he's a man, he can't help it, men are less intelligent," etc. And vice versa; neither situation would be fair or accurate. Plus, despite the way women are often singled out more often as victims, manipulation of both sexes by each other has been going on since ancient times; many female consorts and wives of rulers throughout history used their bodies and child-producing abilities to influence their politically powerful husbands to their own advantage, and involved themselves in plenty of affairs and other deceitful activities. So yes, I think it's fair to say that discrimination against men is wrong, and it certainly wouldn't make up for the discrimination that happened against women throughout the years. Hell, it would actually affect a lot of people who weren't even alive when a lot of the old women's rights movements were going on, such as young men and boys. And that's certainly not fair, they didn't have any hand in it. People are individuals after all, not things to slap gender labels on and pack into groups.

 

[Ayumi Hamasaki]

so protection from a permanent life changing mutilation that forever reduces sexual pleasure is less important then getting something paid for? really?

I would gladly pay all that out of pocket to have my genitals intact, without question.

BTW......the blame on abortion/birth pills lays solely with the religious, not the sexists so your statement is misplaced anyways.

Guys, it's okay to discuss that here, but try to mention other things too. Otherwise it's just a rehash of that thread.

Call me old fashion but I prefer my man interested in cars and sports rather than the shopping channel, I also prefer my men to not fret for their clothes--leave that to us girlies.

Sorry, can't find quote button..

That's the exact thinking that lead to the women's movement. Men, and some women saying, well I don't I think women should stay at home and cook and let us work. It makes no more sense now then it did then.

It may seem small with the clothes, but I think it's just the start. Clothes and things are part of a particular sex, they're just things they wear.

 

[GBJoker]

Based on previous posts, I'm yet again, on the extreme view of the issue at hand.

Yes, men get help buying Viagra/Cialis, whatever. Yes, still, to this day, for some weird ass reason, there is a glass ceiling. There are other more subtle examples, but none of these completely excuse the double standard being applied to men since the early 1980s. While yes, there are simple issues like wearing clothing, or liking certain activities over others, there are far more serious matters concerning the double standard.

The best example is custody battles. I know this may be hard to believe, but there are indeed, many times where the father is more able to raise a kid than the mother. (Percentage? Impossible to know, since thus far, there has simply been so many custody battles.) The father should have the kid, in my opinion. For every case? Obviously not, or else the first custody battle wouldn't have happened.

In a divorce, who should be forced to pay alimony? For all extents and purposes, a virtual 100% of the time, the male pays alimony. Even in cases where the woman makes clearly far more money than the guy.

There are other examples, and I'll edit this post later to add them in, unless there have simply been too many replies.

Woman have clearly taken great strides in the past 60 years to not only break down, but simply decimate any gender barriers in various aspects of life. But in the process, they have severely restricted men in other aspects of life. For me, this is unacceptable.

And to females who say they are not attracted to guys who worry about their appearance or their clothes or their interests being weird... To be blunt, there are now enough males on the planet to find not only the deviants, but also the old-fashioned ones. Trust me, eventually, you'll find what ya want.

 

[Sum1sgruj]

]Woman have clearly taken great strides in the past 60 years to not only break down, but simply decimate any gender barriers in various aspects of life. But in the process, they have severely restricted men in other aspects of life. For me, this is unacceptable.

Completely agree. The vitality rate of females in current society is ridiculously more substantial than that of males. Employment and child custody are among the most critical, and are absurdly bias.
There's no need for examples because it's so painfully present .

And I wouldn't get with a girl that would try to control how I dress and whatnot. The whole idea of that is a byproduct of new-age sexism. And all the same, that's just wrong anyways.
As a man, could you have the audacity to tell your gf how to dress? I mean, where do females pick up the nerve? actually, read my last post for answer lol.

Of course, as I posted before, I am not speaking for ALL woman. I don't brand stereotypes. I just glance at statistics and the world around me

 

[Davey Gaga]

Oh, I'd argue that. What about the U.S. Healthcare system paying for Viagra but not abortions or birth pills?

That's a bit unfair. There's very little moral issue with viagra; as a pharmaceutical its implications are no more troublesome than simple paracetamol (or tylanol in the US), whereas contraception and abortion are much more complex issues. Without getting in to these specific debates, a free abortion isn't the same as a free blue pill.

On topic with the thread, I agree with the original poster. I've always noticed that a great deal of women who scream about feminism seem to forget that it's about equality, not superiority, and use it as a kind of female empowerment excuse. So instead of women trying to get to our level they're trying to knock us down a few, ergo inequality in favour of the woman.

Just what I've noticed.

 

[Rydia]

One thing that bothers me is in cases of sexual abuse. A woman can pretty much destroy a man's reputation by accusing him of rape, regardless if it happened or not. If the tables were reversed, a woman rapes a man, or a man rapes a man, and the man goes to report it, the man will usually get laughed at by the cops or he is questioned why he didn't enjoy it if the rapist was a woman. (Because, you know, men should want to be forced to have sex with a gun to their head /sarcasm)

or in cases of abuse. A woman is beating a man. If he hits her back, he gets arrested for domestic violence despite it being self defense. If he reports the abuse, again, usually he will be laughed at. Its a lose lose situation for them.

And I agree about child custody cases. I know of someone who divorced his mentally unstable abusive wife and she was still awarded full custody of the children.

 

[TheMixedHerb]

One thing that bothers me is in cases of sexual abuse. A woman can pretty much destroy a man's reputation by accusing him of rape, regardless if it happened or not. If the tables were reversed, a woman rapes a man, or a man rapes a man, and the man goes to report it, the man will usually get laughed at by the cops or he is questioned why he didn't enjoy it if the rapist was a woman. (Because, you know, men should want to be forced to have sex with a gun to their head)

You've raised a very good issue here, I know somebody who (a few years back) had a friend who's daughter slept with a young man. (I know it sounds a bit uncreditible, but hear me out.)

The young girl was afraid to admit to her parents that she'd actually done it in case of scolding and such, so she denied that she actually consented to having sex with the young man, which lead to court cases which were rapidly turning against his favour despite him not actually doing anything wrong.

Luckily she eventually confessed that it was in fact consentual and no further actions were taken. Just think though, if it had, she could have ruined that poor guy's life, for what?

On the note of the general 'men will automatically enjoy rape if done by a woman' subject, I hardly find that fair at all. I'm all for equal rights to both genders, but it's when things go like this that you think things are going a bit too far. We just need a medium that works to be honest.

Rape's rape, nobody will ever enjoy it for obvious reasons, but I think that's another subject entirely.