Serious The Female Mind....

[King Sean]

Yeah.....I need more help . I finally got over a lot of things that I spoke about in my other threads in the section (well most of them) and now I have a girlfriend.

And I REALLY don't want to lose her. But when we talk, I honestly don't know what to talk about. What to say? What to say? I don't want to say anything insulting or rude, and I don't want to bore her? What to do!?

I try to talk to her about things she may like, and I always make sure she is able to talk about herself and attentively listen to her, but awkward silent moments come up and I'm afraid she's bored. I don't know if I am doing things right, and I feel as though I'm in trouble!

Halp?

 

[Sum1sgruj]

You should just be youself. Afterall, it will come out eventually, and she may take it as you changing, when you would really be changing back. Signals tend to get mixed, you know?
Anyways, she should be doing the same for you (being attentive, etc). 9 times out of 10, if shes quiet, then she's just as shy as you are. But, if you think she's that 1 out of 10 and is being dismissive or keeping you on your toes, then it doesn't matter what you do, does it?

 

[Sullivan0930]

Wait, how did you get her to be your girlfriend in the first place? If youre not sure what to say around her, then im just curious how youve gotten this far.

 

[Channizard]

Ask her about her day. It's a simple question that opens up a whirlwind. Girls can sometimes talk endlessly about their day, who pissed them off, why it pissed them off, who's in the wrong, blah blah blah... We don't have a whole lot of interesting things to say a lot of the time, but what impresses us is just knowing that you take an interest in us and what goes on in our lives. Just sitting there.. listening to us rant about shit... That goes a long way, you'd be surprised.

 

[Tmoo]

you can talk about random things too. the key is to be comfortable around each other. if you have that, then the silent moments aren't awkward. silence can be a form of bonding too, if you're content to just be around each other.

 

[blakstang98]

You should just be youself.

As I opened this thread and started reading the concern, this was already going to be my first response, but someone beat me to it.

It's spot on though. She likes you for who you are, so just continue being who you are. Talking to her is no different from talking to anyone else, you just sort of converse with whatever topic comes up. If anything, just take something you were talking about and expand on it or go off on a tangent to something related to it. That's what I do, involuntarily, but it seems to keep people talking.

It's very possible that she's just as nervous around you, so the awkward silence keeps happening. Don't forget, its still early in the relationship, and a comfort level still has to be reached. Once both of you are more comfortable around each other, then conversation will happen just as naturally as it would for anyone else you know. Only time can help that comfort level, so be patient and keep doing what you're doing.

And also, congratulations! I'm happy that our advice helped you, and the responses that were a severe lack of advice didn't prevent you from making a mistake by not pursuing it. I hope things go smoothly for you two.

 

[B-l-ackstage]

Just head on, making jokes about the most insignificant things as a primary topic for conversation! Gurls like ironic expressions at the beginning of a relationship. She’ll just laugh at your expression rather than what ur actually saying

 

[Ambrosine]

Chances are she feels the same way around you And I agree with the above, just be yourself. Cheesy as it may sound, it's the only way to figure out if it'll work out or not. As for what to say, ask for her opinion about things and make her feel included in what you're saying. If you really like this girl be open about it, play her a song, paint her a picture, etc. Show her you care ^^ But of course always stay relaxed, too much stress will complicate things.

 

[Shu]

Make jokes about her weight or her alcoholic father or her narcissism or get caught starring at other women as they walk by...

Wait.. those are things not to do.

Umm... You can only be yourself if you are hoping for her to stick around. Does not matter how boring you think you are.. it's who you are. If you like the teletubbies well, that's who you are. Now if you are trying to get her affection, well you have to be the one who goes out on a limb in order to not get friend zoned. Don't let her talk your ear off.. because that's a definite friend zone trait.

At this point it's really situational. So just don't feel like you are walking on egg shells, if she wants to be around you, you'll know it. If not, then you'll know it too.. just don't try to hard. It is what it is.

 

[ren1200]

Im probably quoting a lot of people but just be yourself. Start a conversation by asking her how her day has been. Listen to what she says and always answer her truthfully. If theres a chance you and hers relationship will work out than those would be great topics to start on. I hope you and her have a nice relationship and everything works out.

 

[L]

Yeah.....I need more help . I finally got over a lot of things that I spoke about in my other threads in the section (well most of them) and now I have a girlfriend.

And I REALLY don't want to lose her. But when we talk, I honestly don't know what to talk about. What to say? What to say? I don't want to say anything insulting or rude, and I don't want to bore her? What to do!?

well you know

this is the hardest part of a relationship

you find someone cute and get with them, but theres nothing to do because you don't know what their interests are or what they find amusing. So you have to ask yourself, "if i can't be myself, what the fuck is the point of this "

now i am not saying go balls out everywhere and make every race and rape joke you can think of, but dont be like a dead fish that flops just because it's reflexes make it flop

also, you don't have to talk every second you're together. "awkward silence" as you might think of it as is okay

 

[Bambi]

Wait, how did you get her to be your girlfriend in the first place? If youre not sure what to say around her, then im just curious how youve gotten this far.

That's what I was about to ask

How did you end up in a relationship if you are having communication issues, don't you have shit in common uyou could talk about - what got you together..?

 

[L]

because in highschool "girlfriend/boyfriend" is whoever you have asked out and has agreed to start seeing you or something i guess

Personally, I am not comfortable calling someone I've only just met or started seeing my gf. But thats just how it is when you are young i suppose, just wanna take life by the balls and put in hyperdrive.

no offense or anything to anyone, especially if I am wrong on seans (i think that is right) take here. But that's just what I know from my personal experience.