Serious Seriously considering running away

[Captain Squee]

the title said it, i wanna run away. I dont care what i leave behind, what i lose, or where i stay. I just cant stay here anymore. If i do stay here with "mommy and daddy" i fear for my future and my already crippled mental state. Around my house i cant be happy, they dont let me be, and when i finally get something to make me happy they take it away and find some way to blame it on me, and not too long ago they told me im fucking up all three of our lives. Surly i cant be that bad? The most recent thing they did was just a few minutes ago, they told me i can see my girlfriend anymore, that i cant go out with friends again, and that i cant even go visit my oldest sister, whome i havent seen all year! And ull never guess why...because i missed the bus for school, even tho it was early today. Is that any reason at all to take me away from my beloved friends? And if i cant be with my gf, frankly itll be almost impossable for me to be happy for a long time. Not to mention the way my other sister is, she also makes everything my fault. Im only 17, im still learning life! I cant take this shit anymore, i cant be told im a fuck-up one more time, i cant be taken from my friends, i cant be taken away from brittany (the gf) or i fear for my mental state. The ONLY thing that stopped me from commiting suicide several times was that i didnt want my neibors to hear the gunshot. I even got blamed for my own depression. Like im the one who does all this to myself. In the end, i dont care if i live on the streets, its better than this place.

At this point i only have told you about what was recent, but its been for so long... When i was 13 my mom told me i was gonna be alone forever and never be loved. I WAS 13!!! that stuck with me, and it always will. That wasnt even the start.

For a while i told myself if i lasted this long i can keep going, but there is a limit and i am far past it.

The point of this post is that im more than likely going to be running away from home, regardless of what i leave behind, and a possible gdbye

 

[Shu]

All things considered bud, we all had it rough around that age (for the most part). You have to learn to not take crap from anyone. Be strong, be a soldier.. don't run away.. its not worth it. You are seventeen, you can make your own decisions without your parents being involved. Running away until you are of the age to get a job or graduate high school is probably not the best route to go in life.

Without a G.E.D. or Diploma your only real bet is construction or working for the city/state. Show these people what's up.. don't hide.. prove them wrong.

If they are being condescending find faith in something else. I don't mean be religious I just mean you gotta get away from the parents. They don't run you, they can make decisions for you if you let them, but only so many can be made.

 

[Gingerbread Lesbian]

I have to agree with what Shu said, you've just got to take that stuff on the chin. Naturally it's going to be a horrible feeling, especially since it's coming from your parents, the people who you rely on the most to be there for you. But you'll quickly learn that if you don't people are just going to walk all over you.

To be honest, I've never been in your position or even close to it, and hopefully never will be (touch wood), but unless you've got something in mind you're going to find it extremely difficult if you run away from home. You'd have to think of where to live even if it's with your sister, education etc, but trust me, you really don't want to end up on the streets, especially when you look at the state of some people who have already got to that point.

I don't know when you can stop education in America, but just take the education route as far as you can go and take it from there. Then you might be able to get a job, earn money etc for you to be able to leave.

 

[Big Casino]

I may sound kinda hars here, but believe me i dont mean it to sound rude in anyway. Your 17 years old, your mum and dad cant force you stop seeing your girlfriend or your friend. Tell them to get a grip. The worst they could do is kick you out the house for disobeying right? Your saying your thinking of running away anyway, so you have nothing to lose right?
Im not sure what system they have over there in america in terms of housing the homeless but i know over here they put you in a B+B until they find you suitable accomodation, which is usually pretty quick. Phone up the homelss agency and see what they have to say about your situation. Your not a kid, they cant 'groud' you if you dont do what your told. You can see who you want, when you want.
Running away seems a bit of a silly thing to do, you should take the free accomodation from them until such a time as you can get a place of your own. Granted this can be hard if your not in full time work but its do-able even to student. Just dont run away and end up fucking up your education, thats gunna hurt you in the long run. Remember that.

 

[Joey Starfire]

Mate, the last thing you want to do is run away, My brother did it 12 years ago, family life hasnt been the same since.
You may want to spite your parents, but the heartache they will recieve or more than imaginable.

I live in London UK, and my parents live in Oxford which is about half an hour on he train away, they miss me like crazy and cry all the time. But im 20 years old and ready to make the commitment of living on my own.

At 17, you still have alot to learn about looking after yourself, everyone at that age does.

And plus, living with parents has benefits that I would LOVE to have back, living for free, getting food cooked for you, washing and ironing done for you. Plus, if you work things out then there will be alot of LOVE going round and youll be as happy as ever.

As for them not letting you see your Girlfriend, Just sit down, have a cup of tea (how very English of me) and have a chat, explain that you wanna see her, that your 17 and maturing into adulthood. They WILL see sense and things will pick up. If not, then keep trying.

In the end everything will be fine, TRUST ME, I know this from experience.

Hope everything turns out ok dude.

 

[Captain Squee]

heres an update...

I asked around at school...

I found a place to stay with friends and still go to the same school. And i have the BOCES program to train me in autp-body repair, and im already an ok mechanic. I have a job set at a place called Reds Auto-repair, and they already said if i needed a job they would hire me as long as its within the next 6 months.

Now about this "ur 17" stuff, here we need to be 18...that wont happen until september next year. And frankly, our homeless program really blows, but being a kid, i can be housed by foster care, and oh boy that sounds so much better...

And i went to school after that post. I had bowling practice, and they didnt even know i was gone. My mom decided to say "Where the HELL were you!?" even tho i told her a week in advance and the day before that i had practice...Then i got accused of going out partying and shit when i am a drug free virgin, clean as a whistle. I got called a dirty liar and a disgrace to the family.

Here's the shocker...THIS ISNT THE WORST IVE GOTTEN! My mom wants to take everything i ever had that made me happy, and she isnt even thinking about it...i used to suffer from chronic depression because of them, then i made the friends i have now, and got an amazing gf, all that made me happy. i worry for my mental state because that depression was awefull, i cant go back i wont let it happen...

The worst part is, my parents basically taught me to be submissive and let everyone walk all over me. When i tried to voice my opinion, the hit me...when i was just being a kid, they hit me...I dont even know what its like to be a normal child...im in tears as i type this...I want it all to end, this is my breaking point, i almost wanna end their lives along with my own...i wanna make them feel my pain...see how they like it. Im sure they couldnt last a day in it. The way they made me be like the dirt. to just sit and LET everyone walk on me...and for some reason, i cant change it about myself, im scared and may always be.

Im sick of it...Someday...soon...ill end it all...i need to escape, i cant do this anymore...

 

[CassinoChips]

This might be a bit out of character for me. But if your situation is that untenable, and you have created yourself a situation where you can be happier and that you'll have a roof over your head, plus a job - which you seem to have done - I say go for it. If you're so miserable to the point where you seem to be, then you need a change of scenery.

Even if you only end up staying at your friend's place for a few days or weeks at a time, that breath of fresh air might be enough to get you over the hump until you're eighteen and can get out of there legally.

The big thing, though, is don't do anything rash. I don't want to hear about you on CNN, with the neighbors saying "He was such a nice boy," capiche?

 

[SapphireStar]

Dont take this shit from them, how dare they?! They sound like an ex's parents. They called him a freak cause he was a goth, said he was a druggie and an alcholic just cause he had a fun social life. They hated me and slagged me off rotten and said he wasnt allowed to move in with me. These people are pathetic. I know they are your parents, but these sort of people get their kicks making other people miserable and its disgusting the person they have chosen is their own son.

Cant you move in with your sister? Maybe they drove her out and she couldnt take this anymore. Dont suffer mate, dont let them win this. FUCK THEM! Have your fiends, your girlfriend and your social life. Your a teenager, not a dog to be kicked about by them. Make sure you do something and soon, you need to get out of there.

 

[Captain Squee]

Update:

as hard as it was, i had a long semi-civil conversation with them...I told them how i had found a place and have no problems staying there and about the job. I pretty much said the following

You cant lock me up like one of your damn pets, i wont tolerate this in my life. My life is my story, and you will not write in it! You always told me to grow up, but just sayin it now, im more grown up than you. I could easily just leave here and live a fine and happy life. I'm your son for christ sake! You need to grow up, you should have better things to do with your life than fuck mine up, and if not, thats just sad...so shape up, be a mom and dad, and cut this shit out. Im still a kid, but you cant control me, and if you EVER do this again, im out the next day and there is nothing you could do about it, so this is your only warning, one more controlling thing and im out!

so they agreed to let me have a life and live fine. but i was serious...one more stupid move and im out, i dont care...

 

[SapphireStar]

Wow. Im gald they finally listened to you. But yeah one foot wrong and just tell them thats the final straw. Hope this is a happy ending for you now.

 

[Vice Nebulosa]

A bit late on this one, but hopefully the guy is still around.

Nice, Squee. You handled this one brilliantly. Your going out and assembling (within a matter of days, probably) all you would need to replace their half-assed care was most likely the last thing they expected, given the spineless, submissive individual they made you out to be. Now you have the situation by its horns; you maintain the economic benefits of living at home, and you have made your parents (is that what we are calling them? There may be some more appropriate operative terms) fully aware of your willingness and ability to leave, should things become unpleasant. More importantly, you appear now to have choices, which was apparently what your domestic situation deprived you of; you are now able to weigh the benefits of your two potential situations, and perhaps reap positives from both (stay at home, but acquire the job you planned, etc.).

Your mother's comments about the likelihood of your "being alone forever, and never being loved" are a dead giveaway to an insecurity that she has never surmounted. It is a beautiful irony that you managed to prove her disparagements wrong with almost effortless strokes. After all, it seems that it only took a short period of time before your school connections offered you alternative living conditions, utterly discounting the possibility of "your being alone", and judging by the presence of a girlfriend in your life, it seems that she was not correct about the "never being loved" thing to begin with.

You were dealt an unusually bad domestic hand, and though the advice you have received here largely amounted to "stay home, chin up", you knew your situation well enough that you chose a solution that worked for you. That is something of which you can truly be proud. Who knows; perhaps this will be one of your life's defining moments.

 

[Cricket]

Uh, I can't say I went through the same thing with my parents. My parents are great parents but they do tend to be... busy a lot and I dump my bottled emotions onto my friends... but I guess that's what friends are for right?

If you want to talk about depression... well, trust me, teenage girl... and 13.. and what I went through for the last 2 years (another topic though.) I know how you feel.

At one point I felt like there was nothing for me. I wasn't going to run away though... it was worse. More of a suicide thing which isn't worth it. And neither is running away imho. But we've all been through something similar. Its normal for your age but I'm happy things are starting to work out.

 

[Captain Squee]

Oi i cant believe how emo i sounded...thats not like me hahaha it used to be so i guess that was my old ways commin back

well this thing overall helped me out. I learned how to take control in my own life. Thats a huge feat right there. I t has also made me significantly less submissive behavior has severly declined, because i know now that i can control my own life and letting someone walk all over me can never be good. It caused a lot of stress. So this is something I more that likely remember fpor the rest of my life...

 

[ClaireSensei]

i had a fk crappy child hood one of the worst types their is however i stuck with it fought it i held on. i waited until i was old enough to go to college i made sure i kept my grades high so i could go to any college almost for free. When i did know i am free i have a great life and trust me this is the best way to go hold on until you can live on your own or you just ruin your life if you run know. don't you wont to do something with your life if you run know you never will.

sorry bad grammar

 

[The Illusive Man]

I do understand how the pressures of coming into adulthood can not only begin to takes its toll on you, but also on your parents.

Parents can be quite annoying at times and they can even be a little chastising at times, even to the extreme, in all honesty your parents wont be doing all that to spite you, nor will they be doing it for any other reason.

Some Parents can be come over-protective, more so when you reach an age where you begin to crave your independance and push for acceptance as an adult, and this can be rather Scary for them, especially if you are the youngest of your siblings as your parents will find it difficult to let you go.

My personal advice on this is not to run, but sit and try to talk to your parents, explain to them that you are becoming an adult and that you need your independance and to be able to stand on your own two feet, but also reassure them that you are STILL there son and you will always be there son no matter what the future brings.

I'm sure they will be a lot more appreciative that you chose to speak to them on the matter rather than run away, and they will probably be a lot more accepting of your independence.