Selfishness

[Guernsey]

Selfishness is described as putting your own interests above the interests of others but is all selfishness a vice? We all learned at ne time or another that our society looks down on selfishness especially since many of our shows, movies, books, myths and even our religions but is wanting a family, career, fulfilling your dream selfishness and improving your life? Is possible to be truly "selfless"? Can we say that great people like Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King Jr or Gandhi are "selfish" in some way?

I know I live in the the "real world" wherer things are not always so clear cut and black and white but why does every culture look down of selfishness considering that we are being selfish in some way, even when doing the "selfless" thing? I want to discuss this and I want to know if all selfishness a vice or selflessness a virtue?

 

[Dark Tidus]

I've wondered the same thing a few times. I'm not really sure, I haven't decided for myself whether one can be truly selfless. I've tried to think of times I've been truly selfless but then I've always come up with a reason like: "Maybe I just wanted that person to think highly of me." And "I remember I was supposed to do that because somebody else knew and I would look good".

I'm not sure but I supposed you could look through your entire life, if that was possible, and think of a selfish reason for everything you've ever done. That being said, selfishness can't possibly be a vice if it's the motive behind every thing we ever have done and will do. Obviously there are times when selfishness is just so blatant and disgusting that you just have to stop and think "How can that person do that and be okay with themselves?" Baby Grace for instance, the baby that recently washed up in a Tupperware container, beaten to death and hidden in the ocean, because her step dad was angry because she wouldn't stop crying. That's selfishness and disgusting.

In the end it all comes down to point of view and how you see things.

 

[Mitsuki]

Hmm, interesting topic. I guess it depends if the motive behind what you're doing is for a good cause to yourself and others. It's a little hard to explain, but yes selfishness can be both seen as a vice and virtue - depends on who's judging. For instance, when I was working at a daycare center a few months ago and I was discussing my future career with my husband (which I'm actually not sure what that is yet), he suggested that I should be a daycare teacher as my professional career. While the thought is very nice and I do love children, that is something that I just can't see myself doing. His said "But you would be helping the minds of these little ones and getting them ready for the later years of their lives." That may be true, but I said, "Call me selfish or whatever, but I actually want something for myself too."

Now, I guess it's up to whoever who reads this to decide - is that a selfish thing? The answer doesn't really matter to me because what matters is what I believe in: No, it's not a selfish thing because I'm judging my own character and I just can't see it as a selfish motive. I know it's not a selfish thing but others may view it differently - and that's fine. It all comes down to people's point-of-view and different opinions.

 

[Dark Tidus]

You have to see things from a worldly perspective, you're not the only person that ever thought of taking that job, someone will do it in your place. If they aren't the person you are, shame on them. Still, it isn't your fault that person is less of a person. That person is being selfish and they should read this thread.

 

[Donald Trump]

Selfishness is described as putting your own interests above the interests of others but is all selfishness a vice? We all learned at ne time or another that our society looks down on selfishness especially since many of our shows, movies, books, myths and even our religions but is wanting a family, career, fulfilling your dream selfishness and improving your life? Is possible to be truly "selfless"? Can we say that great people like Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King Jr or Gandhi are "selfish" in some way?

I know I live in the the "real world" wherer things are not always so clear cut and black and white but why does every culture look down of selfishness considering that we are being selfish in some way, even when doing the "selfless" thing? I want to discuss this and I want to know if all selfishness a vice or selflessness a virtue?

Firstly, MLK is not selfless, he had multiple affairs, a messiah complex and he was poor leader.
Gandhi is more selfless, but no less selfless than Fidel Castro. One is made out to be a horrible person, but the only difference was the methods they used, which doesn't influence how selfless they are.
Mother Teresa on the other hand, gave her life to help sick people, I think she really was selfless.

I have a slight problem with your definition of selfishness. I think you are only being selfish when what you do is extremely detrimental to others. Take Mits not always wanting to be a daycare teacher for example, it's not as if there are no other day care teachers in the world. Unless they are actually being deprived of a daycare teacher by Mits becoming an Astronaut say, she isn't really being selfish.
Another example of the same thing is when you are eating dinner, there are millions of people starving in the world, but you are eating that food. You are putting yourself before all the starving people, yet that is not selfish.
Selfishness is a vice, but it is part of human nature, it has probably contributed to our survival as a race.
Being entirely selfless, is extreme altruism, which I think goes against human nature, which is why there are very few cases of people being extremely selfless.

 

[Shu]

I think there is a fine line between Selfishness and Selflessness, now one might contradict the other every now and again, but I would say it's very easy to see.

I have a problem with people giving selflessness a bad name.. Let's say you've done bad your entire life (most world leaders) and then at the last minute you put yourself up to be a martyr and sacrifice yourself .. Sort of a like a criminal on death row giving himself to the Christian God.

Then there is the Selflessness that involves hidden agendas. Where I live in the US there are many, many, many, fake ass people wanting to be southerners. They do whatever it takes to convince other people that they are a southern girl or a country boy.. whatever they wish. Selflessness comes into play upon mannerisms.. being a good-hearted soul who does pancake drives for the orphans... doing the race for cure in order to show their image (3k run), and there are the many other charities which put them on a thrown of lies. When these people get the notoriety they want.. they finally show their true colors.

Half the charities these days are B.S. image makers as well, and when hell say I don't give.. they make me feel like Hitler themselves. "Well I gave my entire last months check for this charity..."

Selfishness though, I can't always agree is wrong. Like Mitsuki said there are plenty of people in the same spot as her. Their wife/husband or boyfriend/girlfriend want them to be a certain person which they don't dream to be. Even parents give that impression, but sometimes you gotta be a selfish in order to feel accomplished. If by being selfless for those around me always got what they wanted, well I would be an unhappy S.O.B. You gotta show them that what you truly want is very attainable, and that sometimes you just need a little piece of something for yourself.

 

[Davey Gaga]

There was an episode of Friends where Joey challenged Phoebe to prove that there was a selfless good deed in the world. Phoebe spent the entire episode running around doing good deeds and trying to show how none of them were selfish but, in some way or another, she always did it "to make herself feel better", which might be a less extreme definition of selfishness - doing something to primarily benefit yourself (whether or not this benefits others is when we might call it inconsiderate or ignorant). Obviously, you can't really use this episode to prove anything but I think it raises an interesting point and demonstrates my response fairly well. In the definition given above, I don't think selfishness is bad, really.

I dislike how society contradicts itself depending on the situation. We're taught to always think of others in our actions and consider how our actions might effect another. However, if we're ill, we're encouraged to think of ourselves first - "don't put yourself out on my account, think of yourself!" sounds quite familiar.

 

[Bun]

I'd like to think the better question here is does it matter to you? I'm sure that people are capable of being what we call 'selfless'...having selfless acts of kindness and all that good stuff. But really it just comes down to the individual. Human beings are inherently selfish animals; therefore, it's practically expected of us to rape our land and use up our resources. In this day in age, the definition has changed greatly as it applies to every person differently. So yeah, I guess what I'm trying to say is that, depending on the context of the situation, it may or may not be possible for someone to be selfless.

 

[Dirges for Damcyan]

I would look at it in a Lockean sense of the word: You are entitled to take what you need, and no more. I think, once that threshold of survival is achieved, we all have a duty to help out our common man, where feasible. Anything short of that end is selfishness. There need not be any sort of moral connotation to it. But to be truly selfless would probably lead to ones own death. Conversely, to be completely selfish would be to ostracize ones self. The optimal balance is one in which the individual is happy, and gives snough of himself to promote happiness in others, in my opinion that is

D4D

 

[Bun]

The definition of need has changed vastly over the years, however. Now a days, needs are basically wants. We don't need cell phones or cars or designer jeans or microwaves. A lot of that stuff is just a matter of either looking good or making things go a lot faster.

Take, for instance, Maslow's hierarchy of needs and define what need is to you. Maybe there we can start to figure out what the word 'need' truly means.

 

[Franice]

I don't think our definition of needs has changed at all. We just attempt (as we always have) to justify our wants by attempting to define them as needs, when most people know full well that our needs consist of the basic physiological and psychological functions.

Plus, doesn't Maslow's hierarchy justify doing this? Granted, I payed half assed attention during this particular chapter of psychology, but in order to achieve the ultimate goal of self-actualization, one must meet all of the needs in the lower stages. Someone who is obsessively greedy, who "needs" jeans and a new phone, has not moved past the lower stages. I think. Or maybe I'm just confusing it with something else.

Anyways, selfishness is in our nature and so is altruistic behavior, which is essentially what the general concept of selflessness is. I don't think being purely selfless, in the sense that one is completely unconcerned with one's own self, is even possible, let alone healthy, regardless of how romantic it sounds.

Barring any psychological problems, we pretty much like ourselves, and we like each other too. We're going to do things that benefit ourselves, and because we like making other people happy, we're going to do things that benefit them too. Selfishness is neither a virtue or a vice. It's just an element of our human nature.

 

[Bun]

The lower stages are basic, biological needs like air, food, water and shelter. Once you move up the triangle, you get into things like emotion and philosophy. None of it includes material 'need' aside from the first few. What I'm saying is that we've completely surpassed those 'needs' that Maslow was talking about and redefined them as something else in this day in age. We say things like "I need to have my coffee or else I cannot function!"

Get what I mean? I'm speaking more in literal and metaphorical terms.

Just saying it's been redefined.

 

[Crazee Dayzee]

I wonder about this a lot.
Even out of preforming a kind act for another, what are you really doing it for? Ultimately, it is rewarding in that it makes you feel good about yourself.

I see selfishness as preforming acts that directly benefit yourself, while selflessness can be described as acts that benefit others, but in turn are actually provoked by one's need of self-righteousness and confidence. I simply believe the difference between the two is that one directly benefits you, and the other is more indirect.