Polygamy and Monogamy

[Tmoo]

Try to envision yourself in an open relationship. I find it fascinating how they work, but I can't bring myself to do it.

Personally speaking, separating sex from a relationship a la polygamy (swinging) is impossible for me (or very near impossible). the thought of another guy and my girl* happily doing the horizontal tango makes my skin crawl. i could elaborate more, but this post is already too long.

what are your thoughts on the matter?



*hypothetically speaking.

 

[Channizard]

Trying to separate love from sex:

In polygamy you have freedom and you do what you want. And to get what you want, you often use your sexuality as a weapon, be it your rocking ass or bouncy boobies. To you, sex is just an act to gain pleasure with another partner. There isn't really any love attached or any vulnerability, so you're often more adventurous and trying new things (this is usually why polygamy sex in movies an such is so risky and out there).

However, sex in monogamy becomes a completely different thing. Sex is something new to you, and often takes a long time to build up to. And once you have sex together, then it becomes a sacred act between the two of you, more than just sex.... love, trust, vulnerability...

I don't think there's anything wrong with polygamy, as long as you're honest about it to all the partners involved, you protect yourself (because who knows who else is sleeping around behind your back) both physically and emotionally... because if people are sleeping around behind your back and you get offended while you're doing the same, it's a bit hypocritical.

 

[lreal]

here's the question: try to separate love from sex. can you do it? how do you feel when you think of it that way? imagine yourself or your partner with different people. what thoughts run through your head? what emotions? could you handle it?

I think the you mean separating sex from love; not the other way around. Separating love from sex is pretty easy; people sleep around all the time whilst devoid of any attachment to the other person.

But in a relationship, I wouldn't be able to allow my girl to sleep around with other guys. Dunno if this is due to a social construct or nature, but I'd be pretty fucking pissed. Plus, I don't view sex as the culmination of a relationship...times have changed that it's pretty common for it to happen before saying "I love you."

 

[Tmoo]

I shouldn't have made it so wordy *edits post*. But yeah, separation of love and sex in the context of a relationship, as opposed to friends with benefits.

 

[Shu]

Polygamy to me, and I know the definition in the dictionary as seeing it a little different, it just means you never really establish a love relationship with the person/persons you sleep around with.

Excluding one night stands they are either just lovers or friends that get bored and just want to have sex. I don't frown upon it to be perfectly honest, some folks just aren't ready to settle until their late 20's or early 30's, and even after that they still get the urge to break out and get away from the "same" "borring" sex according to them. Then there are some that actually bring couples or another person into their relationship and have random sex with what's called a couple threesome. I've heard a lot of open minded folks do it, but this I can't wrap my head around all the way.

As far as Monagamy it's all about that one person, and nothing more. It has more of the love aspect involved, but these people have probably already been through their wild stage.. or if not then they definitely need to. Otherwise the overlying question of "did I live my life to the fullest" turns its ugly head later in life.

 

[GBJoker]

I just simply couldn't do it. I've actually avoided relationships some times because I have a gut feeling the person I'm interested in might be that kind of "open relationship" kinds of people, and honestly, I'm quite scared of how I'd react to my partner having sex with some one else. I might honestly kill 'em.

As for other people doing it, hey, do whatever you want. None of my business.

 

[Warrior of Light]

I personally see nothing wrong with multiple relationships if the couple are both aware, agreeable and understand the rules of the situation. I do believe it's possible to love two people at once, and also to desire two people at once. I've thought of it myself although in my particular situation I don't desire it. I don't know if that means if I'm more attracted to this particular individual or what, but as of now, monogamy is the way we want it and have it. It's a lifestyle choice, IMO, one everyone is entitled to with the above conditions intact.

 

[Shu]

I personally see nothing wrong with multiple relationships if the couple are both aware, agreeable and understand the rules of the situation. I do believe it's possible to love two people at once, and also to desire two people at once. I've thought of it myself although in my particular situation I don't desire it. I don't know if that means if I'm more attracted to this particular individual or what, but as of now, monogamy is the way we want it and have it. It's a lifestyle choice, IMO, one everyone is entitled to with the above conditions intact.

Hmm I think the thing is all three people or more have to be open minded about it and never attached particularly. Me I couldn't see myself trying to love two people or more, it would be a clash of the titans in a sense. In all my experience love always comes down to a singular person. I mean granted I can love someone more in a sense, but to truly love them.. meh that would be insanity in my head. I'd end myself if I tried to do more.