Serious My relationship problems

Sabriel

Sabriel

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Ok, some of yous know that I go to sports training, and of that some people, you kinda already know about this. Here's what happened:

A few years back, I met a boy, let's call him J for now. Now, forward about 3 years, I have quit that club where I met J (who is hawt) and entered a new X-country club. Problem: there was a guy that just looks EXACTLY like J and he is well fit. I first asked him for his name and that sort of stuff then we got along. He makes me laugh and I feel comfy around him 'cos he accepted me as a friend as well.

1. It's nearing his B-day, but he hadn't gotten anything for my B-day so should I do something to celerbrate with him?

2. I get shy and nervous easily, so how do you think I should, like, approach him? I really, REALLY, like him.

p.s. There's this guy who's a friend of his (D) and it's like a love triangle. D likes me but I like J's lookalike.
 
My opinion is move slowly into this. A gift is a slow stretch, I still give gifts to my girlfriends (girls who are friends) and L. doesn't think anything of it. I think anything you are up to commit to at this point would be okay.

I mean us guys are open to things, find his likes... such as what movies, what games, what .. you know what I mean. And then openly suggest if he would like to go sometime, if you notice him starting to become flirty..

Well hook, line, and sinker. Us guys are the easiest to figure out.
 
The first thing you need to do is take a step back and take a long hard think to yourself, is your attraction to this guy based off his own merits, or is it down to the fact that he reminds you of someone you used to have a heavy attraction to?

My point for this, is you dont want to go diving into a relationship with him to find out, hes nothing like you imagine him to be and the illusion shatters leaving a harsh reality of you not really being attracted to him but an "ideal".

Of course if you ARE attracted to him based off his own merits, ask him to a movie, a drink, the like...even if its just as friends you can see how you two connect on a personal level together and take it from there.

With the other guy, its all down to you, if your attracted to him as well, this could lead to difficult and ackward moments, so if anything, make your choice in your mind before you decide who you want, before you actually go for either.

Remember its your choice and noone elses, dont feel compelled to go for the one who you know likes you, just because he likes you, make your choice on whom you see yourself having a relationship with and where you could see it going!

hope that helps :)
 
Well, we are also really alike, we go to schools that are near each other in the same city, we both love sports and games, we both love music, we're on the same mental level with each other, so depends how you define merits and stuff.

And the other guy, HE actually gave me a present and likes me as much as I like the J lookalike. I can't figure what I'm gonna do when I need to express the I really like him 'cos I'm a nervous wreck. I make terrible mistakes. You really can't believe how shy I am.
 
*scratches head* Yea I've been there a little bit, but now that I look on about it, the girl said I was acting cute. Cute is what you call a puppy. Just be honest with him, take him by the hand or something. I don't know, people react differently.

Just feel this one out, if you are shy, then so beat it, but remember opportunities are small sometimes. Just remember most of the times, the man does the ... asking. So for you to do it, I can understand it might be a little hard. So maybe a letter?
 
Maybe ask him for advice on how you should act in order to get with the new guy in the new club.

It'll let your admirer know that you don't see him in that way. It's a bit harsh, but if you're not interested in him, it's unfair to lead him on, and it's probably the way that'll not hurt his feelings as much (they'll be hurt, no doubt), but there isn't a way in which you won't make him feel bad.
 
There's no harm in buying someone a present for their birthday, it can be as friends or more than that. Buying him a gift may make him think that you like him though, and you'll open the door for him to make a move. I totally understand the shyness, I'm certainly the same way. Generally, but not always, the guy is the one to make the move, which would mean that you just have to give him the hint that you like him as more than a friend.

Dropping subtle hints to D that you don't like him will drive him away, unless he's the aggressive pursuer type. It's a delicate situation if you consider D as part of the you, J lookalike and D equation. Try to just give hints to J lookalike that you like him, and hints to D that you don't like him. Or as an alternative, like Sirsparrow said, give D the hint that you like J lookalike, then he'll think you have no interest in him.
 
Okay, update:

So I won't go to sports training on JL's B-day because I can't and I decided I won't talk to D for that time I'm helping ma parents and revising. Instead I txted JL Happy Birthday 'cos I know I won't bump into him until my time away's over.

blakstang: I know, I thought about a present but I changed my mind because he didn't give one to me.

Shu: Thanks, trying to get his attention now.

What should I do now? I'm stuck again. Kinda.
 
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