Poetry Misguided Solution

[Mitsuki]

Okay, my professor requires a sonnet to go along with my research paper, which is...Gun Rights for Teachers. I was going to do Media Propaganda but I was having a hard time finding proper articles.

So anyway, here's a sonnet that I must turn in on Monday for workshop. It basically sums up my argument for the topic. 14 lines, three quatrains, and a couplet. Then there's the iambic pentameter and he wants us to have 10 syllables per line.

Misguided Solution

​

Safe and sound in the Garden of Eden​

The children are nourished with seeds and fruit​

While the serpent beckons to the weakened​

And fire rapidly from its evil root

​

The loud ballistics echo down the years​

Fear and chaos found its way to our core​

Shall the bearer of knowledge pack their gears?​

And attempt to repress the bloody gore?

​

Violence need not face a new mirror​

Death flying in circles shall be unbound​

Puppets with their strings cut by death’s scissors​

Sending the helpless underneath the ground

​

Will we ever see the white doves in flight?​

Or continue to seek the reaper’s plight? ​

Any thoughts or critiques? Does it make sense?

I wanted to include some metaphors...I just like that style a lot.

 

[Dean Winchester]

Garden of Eden= Safety of School
Humans were unaware of the sins in the Garden of Eden
but once upon in contact with the tree of life, God, they acquired some of its power, the ability to differ God from Evil.

That's all I can think of when comparing the first sentence to a school
a school is like the Garden of Eden, were children come to seek nourishment, the knowledge. A teacher is a role model, one who implicitely sets what is good and what is wrong since children spend more time in school than with their family.

What does the serpent fires?
evil?
temptation?

Fire rapidly would be the bullets. (thanks to the word "ballistic")

Or the oppressed in school
You see in school we have many groups.

The popular, the unpopular, the neutral and the rejected.

"The loud ballistics echo down the years"

The effects of violence leave scars, like Virginia Tech.

Fear and Chaos is quite obvious as well, however there could also be fear and chaos inside the heart of the violent one. Confussion leads to desperation and rash action. Even when not affected directly
he idea of experiencing the same situation leaves a mark.
Which lies dormant until we pass a similar experience.
So should a teacher obtain the right to carry a weapon to protect themselves and their students? That's the question.

Violence breeds more violence (Yoda) and sometimes fire can't be fought with fire.

The fact of a teacher carrying a weapon evidently is like waiting for death to knock our doors? seeing that a professor is also a human who can suffer from a moment of mental crash and act upon instinct
becoming a killer instead of a guardian....

Ok a teacher is like a psychologist...
they absorb the problems brought by students from their homes...
and every day during their lives...
that builds up and adds tension...
which become stress...

Will we ever see the peace sought so vehemently? Or will we keep inviting the Angel of Death to come by our schools?

In other words....when will the violence stop?
The problem is not in the schools is in society.


In summary, teachers can become crazy bitch psychopats too

 

[Donald Trump]

I'm not sure about Eden and weakened as a rhyme.
Also have you thought about the punctuation? It's all fairly one paced except for the question marks.
Adding in commas, and semi-colons would slow it down, but you may want to spead it up, with dashes, perhaps to emulate the confusion of a situation with a teacher using a gun.

That's all I can think of at the moment.