Living Alone

[Miko]

Hey guys! Just a small little topic for you!

Sorry if I kinda come across as bit of a baby - I've never really lived alone by myself before. I moved in with my boyfriend straight from the nest and have lived with him ever since. Sure, I've been alone in a house before, but I'm curious how many of you are (or were) on a regular basis living 'alone'.

And no, I'm not trying to call you out on your relationship status' - You can live alone and be seeing people of course. The topic kinda came to mind because just a short while ago I was sitting here in the kitchen area just doing some computer things when I heard something strange in the garage And of course It's nearly 1am, eep! I'm trying to convince myself that it's just mice or something related to the cold.

So, while I'm totally not being burgled right now: How many of you guys live alone? ....And any advice for those of us who aren't usually alone? Do you have a security system in place, or perhaps a dog? Do you have the comfort of numbers by living in a complex of multiple people? Have you ever experienced being burgled or had to face something difficult by yourself? Or... are you not really afraid living alone? What are the perks? What are the cons?





I'm not actually living alone, but my husband works nights.. soooo sometimes at night I get a little jumpy A lot of times I know that it's just the house settling or the cats are getting into something. In fact my best alarm system is my skittish cat(s) - These guys hear all the regular pops and creeks of the home and will naturally go into panic mode if they hear anything new. A lot of times I'll look for one of them if I get a little nervous or jumpy and it helps me calm down a little bit. My only other security I have is knowing that my heavy Maglite flashlight is under the bed. Writing it out like this makes me realize that I should really start establish some extra security measures though... We've contemplated investing in a dog but realistically we're not in a place where we are ready for that kind of commitment yet. We've fortunately never had anyone break into our home before though, with the exception of animals.



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[Vivi-Gamer]

Ive been living by myself for the last few years and I must say I am far more content in doing so! For the last 10 years I've had to deal with moving back into my parents house from Uni until that was no longer reasonable, then I had to house-share with a landlord which was an unpleasant experience - I was pretty much restricted in the house apart from my bedroom. Having friends around was an issue even when we agreed that I would be allowed them around on a Friday evening when he didn't have work the following day - Though this apparently lead to his attitude and have him putting my room up for sale without informing me.

Since I've been renting my own place I've felt much more at ease. It's nothing major but I really value the privacy. It's nice to come back home after a busy day and chill without having to be considerate for another person. I can have friends around when I please without issue and I can generally do what I want when I see fit. I've not had any issues rearding security - Which is surprising considering I live near a pub! The one downside is that I can't have pets within the household, but I visit my mums house frequently and see my cat there - plus I live near roads which makes me a bit paranoid for a pets safety. Ideally one day I'd like to progress from renting from a private landlord but I still feel my current housing situation is far better than it has ever been.

 

[Espurr]

I can't say I have lived by myself sadly. It's always been with either a roommate or parents. Living by myself is one of my goals though. I feel as though if I don't live by myself I'll never be able to experience the true freedom that I want. With a roommate I still have to share stuff. Even if it ends up costing more I'd rather move in by myself and

a. potentially avoid having a bad roommate.
b. not have to share anything at all.


The only downside is that yeah the slightest unexpected sound will probably scare me since I am alone but thankfully I should not have that problem too much if at all.

 

[Paddy McGee]

I've lived alone for the last year and a half honestly. I'd been thinking about moving out before but there were some family issues which kind of kept me back home for a more extended period than I wanted (I'd gotten an apartment set up but ultimately it wasn't followed through with). Ironically, it was _more_ family drama that drove me to eventually move out. I can't imagine moving back in with family unless it's extremely necessary.

Security wise: the house has an alarm and is well locked up - there's two front doors and I tend to lock up most every main room downstairs. Good luck getting in a two story house from a top floor window. There is an aspect of targetting, however: a man who is young and relatively healthy is rather low on the target list.

As for how I find it: It's a mixed bag really. I've always been an introverted, "do my own thing" type of person and living alone really just emboldened that - I wasn't required to do much for anyone here outside of paying my rent and bills on time. It's rather nice to be able to just sit in silence if I want; I do find it rather frustrating to deal with a noisy house nowadays though!

Inversely - it gets very lonely if you're not active about it. It's easy to get stuck into a routine of doing nothing or just spending a lot of time on your own; for younger people I would suggest a house share. I had a bit of a struggle with this at the start - I was afraid to reach out too - I got over it and have found it relatively fine to find my entertainment or date or whatever - I'm rather independent.

On that topic - it makes some of the... intimate parts of dating insanely less complex; I can come, go and bring home whomever I want without disturbing anyone (outside the neighbours).

One thing I will say: I think people need to have a period where they live, or stay somewhere, alone. It doesn't have to be in a house like me: even just in a hotel or AirBnb. It forces you to rely on yourself and not require any sort of support from a partner or friend. I honestly find it shocking the number of friends I have who won't get a drink by themselves or a coffee - nor go to the cinema solo. I feel like going from your parents to living with your partner (which is very common here) is a gateway to prolonged adolescence. The volume of guys and (to a much, much lesser extent) girls I know who get their parents or their partner to do their washing for them at 25+ is hilarious. I think it's a healthy aspect of life someone should go through both to establish themselves as a independent person and also to learn how not to take advantage of loved ones: when I moved out, I found my relationships with friends and family got much, much better.

 

[blakstang98]

About a year after I started my career, I moved into an apartment near my job. Ironically, that was around the time I joined this forum. I didn't have a girlfriend at that time, and being as into this forum as I was back in the day, I basically went to work and visited the forum. And this was my entire day. I even missed a fantasy football draft because of that. I didn't really watch TV much, I didn't play games all that much, I didn't do much of anything, honestly. It was just a coincidence though. This lasted about a year and a half, then my future wife moved in with me. So thinking back on it, it was only a year and a half.

The apartment I lived in offered free heat, and there was an air conditioner in the wall, so temperature control was taken care of. The maintenance people were on the money when I needed something fixed, they would just take care of it when I was at work. And I yearn for the days of driving a mighty 5 minutes to work (better than my current hour drive). I would cook my own meals, which I enjoy and I would treat myself to dinner out every Friday. The area I was in was fairly safe, so there was no issues there either. It was a nice experience, and I met my wife and live happily ever after.