Kaidaku Soroku

Sexy Beast

Sexy Beast

A beast into the jungle of life
Veteran
Joined
May 20, 2008
Messages
3,064
Age
34
Location
I am at the horizons of the Stratosphere
Gil
5
i made him almost completely different so i hope it is better

Name:
Kaidaku Suroku
Nickname: Kairo
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Occupation:
Warrior Monk
Complexion:
white with a tan
age:
19
Appearance:
6’0 195 lbs, has Medium red hair going down half way his neck, he wears an unique out fit he has a red cyber arm arm which is used to help him with some of his abilities. He has a grayish silver torso armor plate with a pale whitish robe like thing going from his waist to around the bottom of his calves. He also comes along with a standard Black Pants, with Black Shoes.
Weaponry:

Flambara-kurasukon:: A demon Sword crafted form the fiercest fire demons of the under world and also has the power to hide its real power and has a mind of its own. But only talks when Kairo is unable to fight and it revives him in burst mode.

Daggers of Hell: These are a special kind of throwing daggers these daggers are made from the same demons as Flambara-Kurosukon is made out of instead the daggers of hell are made out of dark demons then Fire demons.
Personality:
Kairo is very distant from others only because of his job he is afraid to get close to anyone cause that would lead to a weakness and as a mercenary he can’t have that or it will cause problems for his jobs and his own health. As for his attitude it is mysterious because he is a lone warrior. staying away from all but getting his money for his work and his motto is “fear nothing feared by all”.
History: his past is a big blur but when he was 14 he was in a big explosion but it only blown off his left arm so to be a little more normal he had to get a cyber red arm and since he is a human he had to have a ring with three spikes, that are there to keep his cyber arm in place to keep it from falling off and him being in deep pain.
As for where he is from he hails from Rasekai. So his home has the technology to support him, so he has no worries of getting hurt from his cyber arm.
Likes: Sake, Vault, BLT sandwiches, and Ribs that are bbqed.

Dislikes: Water, Brussels sprouts People that ask him more than 3 questions.
Magic all kinds:
White magics

Cura: a simple medium healing spell that recovers 20 percent of his hp. Energy cost 20
Esuna: a spell that rids blind poison, and slow. Energy cost 12
Dispel: Removes any helping effects of any enemy’s in a 50 ft radius. Energy cost 10
Dark Magics:

Fira: a fire spell that does medium damage up to 6 enemies in a 50 foot radius. Energy cost 19
Firaga: a spell that does a large amount of damage to all enemies in a 100 foot radius. Energy cost 39
Firaja: a massive fire spell that give kairo a boost in his fire attacks. Energy cost 60
Time magics:

Haste: a spell that increases kairo movements by 12 percent. Energy cost 12
Warp: a spell that allows kairo to telaport his enemy to a different place in a 50 foot radius.energy cost 11
Reflect: a spell casted around Kairo that disallows any magic based attack from hitting him for 4 turns. Energy cost 7
Green magics:

Protect: a spell that casts a protective barrier around Kairo disabling physical attacks for 3 turns. Energy cost 8
Bravery: A spell that ups the users physical attacks by 10 percent for 3 turns. Energy cost 16
Faith: a spell that ups the users magical attacks by 10 percent for 3 turns. Energy cost 15
Oil: a spell that makes all enemy’s in range more exposed to fire magic attacks. Energy cost 5
Arcane magics:

Bubble: a spell that doubles the health of the user for 4 turns. Energy cost 31
Darkra: a spell that is made up of pure darkness that deals medium damage to an enemy in range. Energy cost 20
Drain: a spell that transfers hp from one enemy to the user. Energy cost 10

Burst mode: in this mode Kairo has his whole body in red glowing with a redish-orange aura and his strength is doubled and his speed is tripled but his defense is halved because of the boost of strength and speed. energy cost 20
Fighting abilities:

Lightning Jab: A series of jabs so fast that are rarely dodge able but inflict minimal damage.
Fury of Fire: A Series of kicks that have a Fire aura.
Special Abilities:
Flaming Terror: A series of fireaga black spells coming out of Kairos mouth.
Darkening cloud: While in burst mode kairo is able to expand his dark spell to make it damage enemies when he has is activated.

Desperate Attack (THE ATTACK THAT IS SAVED FOR A LAST RESORT)
Flaming disaster: A move in which kairo makes circles around all of his enemies making his whole body be a fire tornado and when this process is completes he then takes out his Flame Blade and raises it to the air which all of the flaming energy surrounding him surrounds his blade thus his blade is now a charged up blade which has the power to kill a doxen men with one swing and then he just jumps up in the air and inpales his blade in the ground making the ground explode with a fire explosion doing massive damage to surrounding enemies.
Mp: 309
 
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Kaidaku,

We would request that you make your bio in the chosen format outlined in the New Bio Format Thread. If you are adamant on using your own separate format, this is fine, but you must submit it to either Contra Fates or myself, so that we may deem it acceptable for the FFF Role Playing Centre. As is, the format does not seem acceptable; it is undetailed and lacking in essentials, such as Personality and Weaponry. Please change this so that we may approve your bio.

Sincerely,
Hera Ledro: The Eternal Dragonic Allsie
FFF Role-Playing Moderator
 
In an effort to try and get your bio approved, I'm going to post a reminder:

Please change to the designated bio format, so that your character can be more easily approved.

Thank you. =)
 
updated my bio


Name: Kurosai Soroku
Age:24
Race: Half Human Half Demon
Occupation; Samurai
Height: 5’11
Weight: 190
Element Specialty: Water and light
Appearance: Being tall at 5’11 Kurosai comes in at 190lbs and comes with a sword called Destroyer. He wears a full-Body Length Black Robe that has some parts of it that has a siverish-grey tip, his robe has a hood that covers almost all of his face but his left eye, its unique his robe or his clothing has a siverish- grey tip on every end there is to be,and the inside of his robe is a medium grey while the outside is a pitch black color. . He wears a unique style of shoes one of his shoes are pitch black and the other is the same color of the inside of his robe/clothing. a metal shoulder-plate for both shoulders.
Personality: Kuro is a really nice person and he loves to be around people and he goes to church every Sunday but he does keep his distance for some people . He hates too have people think that he is a goody toshoe. He has his dark moments
As for his professional career he is a samurai and he frights for what is right and truthful. And he is respected by his fellow samurai.
History of Kurosai’s city: Rasekai is a very high tech city where there are a lot of facilities that help with repairing game systems, laboratory’s, major companies and the mayor’s building and there are the outskirts of it, there is Kurosai’s home.
History/Backround of Kurosai’s Childhood: Kurosai was adopted by a ruthless king and his 15 yr old sex slave and he was taught to be the most ruthless warrior that there can be imagined so his adopted father sent him to the snowy mountains just 200 miles away from Resekai. He was only 6 years old when he was sent to the mountains and he spent 5 long years there fending for himself and only had a sword and a book of ways to overkill his enemies. And when he came back his sworn mission was to kill his so called loving father and he did and being the one who slain his own father he drank his father’s blood and set out to find his real father and it begins the tale of Kurosai Nabaki: The Lone Samurai of Rasekai.
History of Kurosai’s Teenage years 12-14: Still on his life mission to find his birth father he comes across an old man that offers to train him for the old man does know something about his demon side so he decided to be under the training and guidance over this strange old man whoch he is called Sweska, the demon master of magic. His mission was to find the son of the greatest demon warrior and he knew that Kurosai was the guy. So at a young age Kurosai was sent to hell to begin his magic training even though he only learned two spells they are the most powerful kind of spells he can learn. But before he can learn those spells he must face his fears as he will face the most powerful hell denmon knowing there is no way out of this Kurosai faces this fermentable foe anyway and there is when he activates this demon claws for the first time at the age of 12. And that is enough to get him beat this demon , but Kurosai is badly injured, and sensing the near-by enemies he starts to find some shelter to escape these demons, but he cannot out run them so he fights them and being more injured he learns the first of two spells he learns Demon Fury. and two years later Kurosai is finally back in the living world and he goes to the old man and starts yelling at him for why he put him through so much hell and the old man reply’s “you have gotten stronger I know now my time with you is done good bye Kurosai.”
Family History: As for his family he is searching for his Blood father but as for any brothers he has one his younger brother Kaidaku Soroku. They cant stand each other, and when they are in the same room they try to kill each other that is why they were born at different parts of Rasekai and they ran into each other when Kurosai was 15 and Kaidaku was 10 years old and they hated each other ever since and they had been at each other’s throats for a long 9 years.
Likes: Tv, video games, running sparing with his master, and Vault and other energy/ soda drinks.
Dislikes
Demon Abilities:
Demon claw: this is a ability where kurosai can tramsform his hands into claws that are surrounded by a white and blue aura.Energy cost 10
Wings: this is a ability where kurosai can have the ability to fly. energy cost 9
Super speed: Kurosai can go 10x’s the speed of his original steed.energy cost 20
Hercules: this allows kurosai to have the strength of 5 men . Energy cost 39
Special moves:
Holy masquerade: in this attack Kurosai gathers half of the his pure light energy and gets his in a movnover and puts his hands in front of him in a strait way and all of that energy he gathered comes to his hands and fires strait at the enemy(s) in a strait line dealing minimal damage 20-60 damange energy cost 25
Liquid Burst: in this attack kuro is gathering all of the liquids nearby and uses his ability to munipulate liquids by forming them into many balls of water and fires each one simutamulusly at surrounding enemies dealing 20-70 damage depending on the liquids he had gathered and how hmuch energy he has left . Energy cost 32
White Light slash: a power sword slash with the power of pure and perfect light energy. Energy cost 35
Ultimate Attack:
1000 Damaging Stars: this move is the most powerful in Kurosai’s arsenal he gets all of the power he has from all his moves and he calls upon the help of the gods and they give him the light energy needed and he points his sword up into the air and its charged with a supernova energy aura and just points it out to the enemy and just swings it horizontally and it creates a massive beam of pure energy that can kill 100 of the strongest men. But for this to be possible he has to have all of his demon abilities activated cause this move requires a lot of preparation and energy to do it perfectly. Energy cost 120
Strength: Kurosai’s strength comes from his human half he has worked so hard to keep that strength by doing daily morning workouts and keeping his health and also training pass his limits. When he activates his demon claws his strength is 59 but with out them his strength is 50
Speed: As expected Kurosai gets his speed from his demon half but it is suprising to him he did not know of his demon side nor his speed until he visited the underworls and he had to out run demons so he has known he had speed since he was 12 years old and at his current state his speed is 34
Kurosai’s stats:
HP:360
MP:250
Speed;34
Strength:50
Defense: 48
Dexterity: 31
Evasion: 29
 
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Thank you for posting up the new bio. =)

As for this one, the main issue I see is a lack of description for your abilities and attacks. Please include energy costs and possible damage for your attacks. Also, please include a 'Strength' section, to describe just how strong or fast he is, and any possible weaknesses he may have. Also, you may want to add onto your Appearance, to describe your character's body-build.

Over-all, your bio is great. The history of your character is quite twisted, but interesting. Just please make the suggested changes.

Also, I'm assuming you wish for approval for: ORPG, URPG and RPB?

[Bio Not Yet Approved.]
 
Remember to post when you've editted, or PM one of the RP Mods ;)

For Kaidaku, we still need you to do what I said, as I am about to quote:

Red XIII said:
Kaidaku,

We would request that you make your bio in the chosen format outlined in the New Bio Format Thread. If you are adamant on using your own separate format, this is fine, but you must submit it to either Contra Fates or myself, so that we may deem it acceptable for the FFF Role Playing Centre. As is, the format does not seem acceptable; it is undetailed and lacking in essentials, such as Personality and Weaponry. Please change this so that we may approve your bio.

Sincerely,
Hera Ledro: The Eternal Dragonic Allsie
FFF Role-Playing Moderator
Click to expand...

Please do that ;)

In addition to what Contra said for Kurosai, we still need energy costs on the Demon abilities. Similarly, we will need you to give us a base energy reserve for your magic. Take note that numerical values are essentially useless here; what an 'energy cost' is is not simply dependant upon any base energy reserves, but also upon your physical state. If you were to use the Heaven's 1000-Year Guidance skill (to shorten the name slightly), you should be little more than dead. An attack which can do as much damage as this one suggests would require so much energy that it would drain your body of everything, causing extreme exhaustion and fatigue, almost to the point of death. Fantasy is the mainstay of a lot of bios, but there does have to be a certain amount of logic to them as well.

And please send us the bio format you are using, just so that we can look over it. Much like the Kaidaku bio, it seems to be lacking essentials. It's a good bio format if you want to play in The Practitioners, but I'm not sure if it's quite detailed enough for The Legends.

Sincerely,
Hera Ledro: The Eternal Dragonic Allsie

P.S. This bio does look really good, and has some serious potential, but we do need to see some of the changes ;) Good work so far, and good luck!
 
i got one more bio, and this will be the last for now


Name: Ichi-Yama-Go
Age:22
Race: Human
Occupation: Paladin
Complexion; White
Element specialty: Earth and Lightning

Physical Description: Being at a height of 5’9 and being at a weight of 180 pounds. His body build is a little bizarre for being a paladin he should be a fit but not too muscular but he is a really buffed. He only has 2 tattoos on his entire body, one tattoo is on his neck going down to his mid chest which is a Red sword with Black Wings surrounded by a swarm of fire. And his other tattoo is on his lower leg of a heart in flames.

Attire Description: Ichi he is a big fan of the colors of hell so he had one of his friends custom make his whole attire, which consists of a red shirt made out of the finest silk that man can wear and he wears a black leather jacket with symbol on the back and his symbol is a sword with wings. He has his own hand picked pants that are the color of the night moon. Also a cyber arm in which he hand carved himself give him a better edge in battle.

Personality : Ichi is a fun-loving guy he can be around people a lot, but at times he can be a jackass but he does have a great sense of humor but that is what people expect to have a hero and a fun loving guy and a jackass all rolled up into one you get IchiYamaGo
But overall he is a great guy but when his loved ones or the people he is assigned to look after or protect he gets serious and makes sure he protects them at any cost even at the cost of his own life.

Weaponry:
Tsukotaki: A Special Sword that was personally crafted for ichi It is imbedded with a spirit of a legendary paladin warrior that fought for what is right and there for he had sworn to fight for all that pure in this world.
Seka-Tau: A special kind of Throwing daggers that have the power of both lightning and Earth and have really advanced speed but not very much strength but more accuracy than any weapon of his arsenal.

History of ichiyamago‘s childhood 5-11: Ichi comes from a long line of paladin warriors, but he was separated by his parents at a young age and was taken in by a 35 year old warrior monk and the monk knew about the paladin backround of Ichi so that is why he treated so harsh but that is what madeIchi so strong later in his life.

History of ichiyamago;s teen hood 12-18: Having to run away at the age of 12 due to harsh treatment Ichi went on his own and found shelter with a old paladin master and this master examines Ichi and thinks he has potential to be the most powerful paladin in his generation so this old master known as Regeakuso: thew paladin master of earth. So he teaches Ichi three spells and one attack. At such a young age he learned two of the three spells and half way done his attack and he is thirteen at this time.
The spells he can use are Tremor, Earth Rainer, and Shock of impact.(note that those are the spells he can learn at first he has one more that he learns up to the present).
Three years have past and he has once again bid farewell to another kind person who took him in and he spent the next two years training continuously without stopping and he actually got a lot stronger in the strength department. And now he begins the next chapter in his life.

History of Ichiyamago 18-present- Since he is now an adult he travels alone in search of where his parents are and why they abandoned him and if they didn’t what happened to his parents all of the questions will be answered once he returns to the land he once came from. But as he is searching for these answers he comes across a strange young warrior that kind of looks like him in a way but he was told he was an only child. So he confronts this young man and says he hails from an unknown paladin kingdom that even he doesn’t know the name to, being angry ichi challenges this mysterious warrior to a fight and thus they are evenly matched and they find out that they were destined to find each other and the young warrior reveals his name, the young warrior says “Allow me to introduce myself I am Alchurlo Yamago” looking confused ichi asks” why do you have the same last name as me. Alchurlo replies “ I do not know I had that last name all my life so maybe it is destiny that we meet and also why we must travel together” so as many more questions appear to ichi and his new found companion they travel together to their homeland which all of their questions shall be answered. So it begins the tale of Ichiyamago and Alchurlo Yamago: the two Paladin warriors of Resakai. (which is the home of Kurosai Soroku and Kaidaku Soroku).

History of How Ichiyamago Got His Cyber Arm: Ichi lost his real left arm in an explosion so he was rushed to a local hospital and they could not repair his arm so instead they gave him the best mechanical arm in his state and well being of his health so after he was released he had some trouble controlling his arm so he had to take some medicine which made it a lot better and after 3 months of intense training he was able to control and use his cyber arm as he pleased. But he had to take it easy on times, due to him being only human with a robot part he had to be careful not to over do it.

Magics:
Tremor: A spell in which ichi slams his hands which are next to each other on the ground and shouts Tremor and a bunch of rocks come from above the ground. Energy cost 20
Earth Rainer: A spell in which Ichi can cal upon the earth gods and ask them to send meteors from the stars and fire them down at a high speed. Energy cost 7.58%

Shock of Impact: A spell in which Ichi raises his cyber arm up into the air and a bunch of lightning comes to his cyber arm and show his powered up arm in a L for mation and clenches his fist in a tight grip and launches his spell with all his might. Energy cost 9.99%
Lightning: A spell of a medium ball of electricity that shocks the nearest enemy dealing medium damage. 12.01% of his energy

Cyber Arm Abilities:
Power Strike: A move that has a advanced series of single arm pounds on the ground with creates mini earthquakes at a magnitude level of .07 and puts a drain on the cyber arm. And a total of 5 ground pounds.11.25% of his Energy

Metal punch: a punch that is out of pure power but has a low chance of hitting but when it does it sends the person at the receiving end of it flying like a ball kicked into the open air.10.5%
Fighting Moves:
Gaia’s shake: A move in which Ichi powers up to 25 percent of his power and shoots many mini meteors at a high speed and is very unlikely to dodge but does very little damage. It shoots a total of 50 meteors each doing .69 damage out of a 1.0 scale of each shot. And as Ichi levels up the scale of damage gets higher. 10.85% of his Energy

Shock wave Strike: A attack in which Ichi calls upon the lightning element of his powers and the energy that he gathers gets powered to his arm and his sword as well as his daggers and first he throws 5 of the 10 powered of daggers at the enemies that are surrounding him then he delivers 3 slashes from his sword and then throws the rest of the daggers at the stunned enemies then stabs the ground in a vertical way and a wave of electrical energy fires at the enemies dealing medium damage. Each dagger does 2 hp damage each with a total of 20 hp damage from the daggers. The sword slashes do 7 hp damage each dealing 21 hp damage and the beam of electricity deals 21 hp with a total of 62 hp damage for the whole attack.21.69% of his Energy
 
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The two main issues with your bio seem to be grammar, and energy costs.

Please try and use proper capitalization and punctuation for your bio. Also, for your energy costs, please refrain from using a numerical value. A proper example of an energy cost would be:

Energy cost: 20% of his/her energy
Or you could say:
Energy Cost: 1/4 of his/her energy

Please amend those issues, and you'll be closer to approval.

Also, as a suggestion, why not think about having these bios placed within The Practitioners area? The rules there are a lot more relaxed, and approving characters for use within that area is much easier.
 
I have some questions before I work on approving this bio:

1. Are you looking to get all characters approved?
2. Would you be interested in signing up for the Mentorship Program? It's a program designed to teach RPers how to master their skills. If you'd be interested in this program, I'll add you to the list, and once the Program is set-up, you'll be notified about it.

Now, as for some suggestions for the last bio, I would recommend adding a 'Fighting Style' section, as well as going over and fixing some of the grammar. I think if you just re-read it and add in proper capitalization, your bio will look much better. =)
 
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