It kinda just sucks...
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Don't blame yourself. And I bet that your parents do love you. Of course they do. They're raised you and cared for you and gave birth to you.
I think maybe it would be best to get out of the house for a while. Go to the mall and maybe even spend some things, like treat yourself. Go see a movie and just don't think about what's going on at home for a while.
Sorry if this is horrible advice.
( hugs )
Also you might want to go see a Doctor and see if you have depression. It feels like you have some of the signs of major depression. ie not feeling like doing anything, even things that you enjoy.
I think maybe it would be best to get out of the house for a while. Go to the mall and maybe even spend some things, like treat yourself. Go see a movie and just don't think about what's going on at home for a while.
Sorry if this is horrible advice.
( hugs )
Also you might want to go see a Doctor and see if you have depression. It feels like you have some of the signs of major depression. ie not feeling like doing anything, even things that you enjoy.
Don't blame yourself for the divorce. Parents divorce because they don't love eachother any more. I'm pretty sure it almost never has anything to do with their kids. I think we'd all rather our parents were happy and in the end divorce is probably the best thing for them. My parents are divorced and I think it's great. Though they've been that way since I was about 3 so I guess I don't know any better.
Why are you working two jobs? Is it literally because you're supporting yourself and don't get any help from your parents? Or are you doing it because you want to? If you can afford to lose one of the jobs do it. Life is about living, having fun and enjoying yourself. Don't work your childhood away and miss out on seeing friends and experiencing things. If you can survive on one job I would suggest you do that and go out and live life.
Why are you working two jobs? Is it literally because you're supporting yourself and don't get any help from your parents? Or are you doing it because you want to? If you can afford to lose one of the jobs do it. Life is about living, having fun and enjoying yourself. Don't work your childhood away and miss out on seeing friends and experiencing things. If you can survive on one job I would suggest you do that and go out and live life.
And besides... What's the point in earning tons of money if you don't even get to enjoy having money?
You really need to stop beating yourself up over things that are beyond your control, though.
Shit happens, and sometimes the only thing you can do is just take it on the chin and then move on. It's not easy, but you really need to tough these kinda things out to make it through life. In the end, this will only make you stronger and hopefully you will become a better person for it. As Zack says, go see a doctor if you feel you're in that much of a funk. Depression can be really hard to deal with, particularly when you feel like you've got no one to turn to. Though, I would advise against going down the medication path. A while back, I was on anti-depressants. It really changed me, for the worst. I hated who I was while I was on medication, so I eventually stopped taking the medication and got out of my depression on my own terms.But, seeing a doctor could very well benefit you, though. It helped me so much being able to confide in someone who could offer unbiased advice, as well as not going off and gossiping to others about it, and be perfectly happy to just listen.
A couple of things I would suggest, though...
Exercise. No matter how busy you are, I really can't imagine you not having the time to even just go for an hour's walk, or do some exercises at home for half an hour or so every day. Exercising makes you feel more happy. It's a fact.
Also eat fruit and loads of healthy foods. I found that this helped me a lot too. I've never been the sort to binge on junk whenever I'm depressed, but I do have a tendancy to just not have any appetite whatsoever. I find that fruit is something you can eat that won't end up churning in your stomach. And, again, studies have shown that people who eat more fruit and veg are generally more happy, and it helps improve mental health. No idea if this is a scheme to try and promote healthy eating, but it worked for me in any case.
Lastly. Find something that you want out of life, and work towards that. Having a goal gives you more of a drive, and adds purpose to your life.
Zack_Fair
It's actually not bad advice, seeing as I was already doing that and planning on seeing a doctor soon. and thankyou for the hug, lovely
@Squidward
I need 2 jobs to get myself through uni, and because I'm saving up for a trip to NY. I'm kinda over having to scab from my parents, so I don't mind having the jobs as long as I have the time to see my friends as well. Thankyou for your input though, it made me feel a little better
@The Welsh Paddy
Great advice! If I have had anything seeming like an appetite, I would be going straight to the junk food. I'm gonna start eating healthy though, seeing as it would probably be good lol. Thanks!
It's actually not bad advice, seeing as I was already doing that and planning on seeing a doctor soon. and thankyou for the hug, lovely
@Squidward
I need 2 jobs to get myself through uni, and because I'm saving up for a trip to NY. I'm kinda over having to scab from my parents, so I don't mind having the jobs as long as I have the time to see my friends as well. Thankyou for your input though, it made me feel a little better
@The Welsh Paddy
Great advice! If I have had anything seeming like an appetite, I would be going straight to the junk food. I'm gonna start eating healthy though, seeing as it would probably be good lol. Thanks!
If you find you are having problems getting out of bed, not wanting to eat or take care of yourself, and are having problems finding enjoyment in your life then please see a psychiatrist (someone who can treat you with therapy AND medications). I have problems with people just going to their ordinary Dr's so they can get their hands on some Zoloft or Celexa...or even Xanax to manage their life issues. I really believe that the care of anything psychiatric-related should be managed by someone who has the ability to manage your care on a continuous basis and not just treat your diagnosis, but you as a person (mind and body). The average MD does not have the time between office appointments to manage all of this.
Talking to someone can help. Is there a friend or some other family member within your extended family who you can talk with who won't point fingers as to the who is right and who is wrong part of your parent's divorce/separation? This is also where a psychiatrist can come into play, in addition to talking to friends and family members. They are a non-biased resource that can teach you breathing techniques, meditation, and many other things to help you relax a bit and make it easier to cope with this stressful time in your life...in addition to administering anti-depressants and anxiolytics.
Also, like I see it has been said above, try and take care of yourself. Remind yourself to eat and drink healthy...and exercise. When you exercise it releases endorphins (that feel good effect) and is a good outlet for stress. If you exercise it might even help you get more restful sleep at night.
Find some hobbies to do in your spare time to occupy yourself with. Rent or buy some dvds, go out to the movies or for dinner with friends or family, do some reading, listen to some music, play some video games. Sometimes what really helps me is to just pop a movie in at night and have 2 hours of "me" time, where I'm not disturbed and I can relax myself enough to be able to fall asleep at night.
The big thing here is to not blame yourself for others actions. Sometimes things just happen in our lives that are unexpected and we are just left to deal with them. My parents divorced many years ago and never did I once feel that any of that was my fault. They love you, they always will. There is much to be said about a parents love for their child and nothing can ever take that away. They just fell apart from each other. Parents divorce each other, not their children. While it will make you sad and you might question their intentions, stressing out about it isn't going to fix anything and its only going to pull you into more problems. I will read you the quote off of the coffee cup I have on my desk:
"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of it's troubles. It empties today of it's strength."
Talking to someone can help. Is there a friend or some other family member within your extended family who you can talk with who won't point fingers as to the who is right and who is wrong part of your parent's divorce/separation? This is also where a psychiatrist can come into play, in addition to talking to friends and family members. They are a non-biased resource that can teach you breathing techniques, meditation, and many other things to help you relax a bit and make it easier to cope with this stressful time in your life...in addition to administering anti-depressants and anxiolytics.
Also, like I see it has been said above, try and take care of yourself. Remind yourself to eat and drink healthy...and exercise. When you exercise it releases endorphins (that feel good effect) and is a good outlet for stress. If you exercise it might even help you get more restful sleep at night.
Find some hobbies to do in your spare time to occupy yourself with. Rent or buy some dvds, go out to the movies or for dinner with friends or family, do some reading, listen to some music, play some video games. Sometimes what really helps me is to just pop a movie in at night and have 2 hours of "me" time, where I'm not disturbed and I can relax myself enough to be able to fall asleep at night.
The big thing here is to not blame yourself for others actions. Sometimes things just happen in our lives that are unexpected and we are just left to deal with them. My parents divorced many years ago and never did I once feel that any of that was my fault. They love you, they always will. There is much to be said about a parents love for their child and nothing can ever take that away. They just fell apart from each other. Parents divorce each other, not their children. While it will make you sad and you might question their intentions, stressing out about it isn't going to fix anything and its only going to pull you into more problems. I will read you the quote off of the coffee cup I have on my desk:
"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of it's troubles. It empties today of it's strength."
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