Serious I can't get a break

SapphireStar

SapphireStar

♥ FFF's Matt Bellamy Pervert ♥
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Hello, pathetic member here once again to moan about how crappy her love life is ...

Sigh, I dont know what to do. I really dont. My best mate claims she has men chasing her, kissing her, taking her out, etc. My gran reckons shes all talk and is angry cause all she does is ring up and brag about her conquests. Rubbing it in. I cant take it anymore. I dont know what to say to her. Im happy a guy gives her attention, but I dont want to hear about it 24/7.

We went shopping few weeks ago and the guy serving me in GAME was kinda chatting me up and she kept prodding at me, her way of saying she wanted to leave and we had to!! I was so upset, he could have been my next fella :(

Ive been single for 7 months now and Im not use to being alone. I see me ex occasionally, but hes a complete and utter nobhead. Brushing me off for his mates, its like being with him again. I dont know what she does. My gran said shes making it all up or is throwing herself at men for attention. Im not like her at all. She is good looking, likes football and can be clever, and heres me ... nothing. No one will come near me. Its shit when I go out with them as she gets someone and I get the arsehole mate whose drunk or no one.

I cant stand it anymore.
 
I think you need to tell your friend you won't be controlled by her. First of all, ask her to change the subject. If she refuses, demand. If she doesn't listen after that, it may be time to cut ties. A real friend will undersand. And next time she tries to drrag you away from someone you could have a relationship with, don't give in, because you're giving her the dominance.
 
Mitsuru Kirijo said:
I think you need to tell your friend you won't be controlled by her. First of all, ask her to change the subject. If she refuses, demand. If she doesn't listen after that, it may be time to cut ties. A real friend will undersand. And next time she tries to drag you away from someone you could have a relationship with, don't give in, because you're giving her the dominance.
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This, agreed. You need to tell your friend to stop. It's time you made a stand. You've had enough, and if she's a good friend, she'll understand. If not, then you know what to do.

Edit: And you're not pathetic.
 
Confidence is a very attractive trait, not like, totally in your face and lairy (like me) but just being sure of yourself, whether youre the most attractive of the bunch or not is irrellevent, if you're wallflowering it away in the corner, no ones gunna want to approach you really...if you come across as unapproachable then thats what you will get

I think you really need to work on your self confidence before you go looking for another relationship. If youre not happy in yourself, some man isnt gunna make that better for you. You will be much happier if YOU are happy to start with

Or, go back to GAME and take the initiative. Pass him your number, give him a wink and leave :awesome: Just be brave. If it doesn't work, well youve not lost out
Also, Ive seen your pics, you're a good looking girl, stop putting yourself down
 
For guys (or at least most in my age group - early twenties), physical attraction is essentially the main factor in determining whether to game a girl or not. It's a sad and cruel fact, but it's something that won't change in our lifetime.

My advice to you, if you haven't done it yet, is try to spruce yourself up. Exercise, eat healthy, and maybe read a book on conversation to become "clever" at making small talk. The only real thing a guy has to gauge from a prospective woman he wants to approach is her physical appearance. If you look good, flash him a nice smile, he'll come to you. It's pretty guaranteed as long as the guy has got some cojones to approach you.
 
lreal said:
For guys (or at least most in my age group - early twenties), physical attraction is essentially the main factor in determining whether to game a girl or not. It's a sad and cruel fact, but it's something that won't change in our lifetime.

My advice to you, if you haven't done it yet, is try to spruce yourself up. Exercise, eat healthy, and maybe read a book on conversation to become "clever" at making small talk. The only real thing a guy has to gauge from a prospective woman he wants to approach is her physical appearance. If you look good, flash him a nice smile, he'll come to you. It's pretty guaranteed as long as the guy has got some cojones to approach you.
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:hmmm: Not all guys. Some people look for personality, looks aren't everything. I don't think you were 100% write. One third of me agrees though. But don't make yourself look like a slag. I hope you're okay, though.
 
@Diana

That's why I said most. Also, don't kid yourself hun because that's pretty much the way the world turns. I'm pretty certain that the population that this site caters towards are for those guys who put a lot of emphasis on personality, but once you step into the world outside amongst ordinary people, guys put a great (and I mean heavy) emphasis on looks in women. A personality can grow on you as long as the woman is pleasing to the eye. Now, I'm not saying that guys will tolerate a bitch as long as she's beautiful, but I'm sure you get my general point.

Call me shallow or what not, but sometimes nature dictates how you think regardless of what the logical implications may be. Sometimes you just gotta go with the flow and there's not much you can do about it.
 
So I need to lose weight and be clever to get a man? Have you actually read what youve typed? No wonder you have bad rep. Seriously, for a man, you sound awful. Yeah you may be sounding truthful, but the male friends I know have said sod all like that. I do think Im attractive, thanks girls, so I dont think I need to eat healthy or read books to make small talk. The guys Ive dated are gamers and have told me that playing a game with their girl is better then getting pissed with her. Personality is IMO bigger and more important then looks. And all the men Ive dated are attracted to both my mind and looks.

To be honest, Im quite offended by what youve said. I know this is your opinion and youre trying to help, but honestly, what were you thinking.

Thanks for that advice girls, been down lately and my best mate isnt helping. Mum wants me to go shopping alone next time and go into GAME with my number. And I will when I next go in!!
 
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@Sapphire

Men are attracted to women in different ways than women are attracted to men. For women, physical attraction isn't as a bearing factor as it is for men. This is true however you want to spin it. I'm not saying that 100% of a guy's decision to go for a girl is based on physical looks, but it plays a much larger part than you seem to think. As I said before, this site (and gamer guys) will likely put less weight in physical attraction than the average man sitting in the bar with his buddies. When guys talk to each other, this view seems to be pretty pervasive. I'm not saying your friends are lying or anything, but guys do tend to say different things to girls as opposed to locker room talk.

I'm just saying the best way to get approached, seeing as that is what I thought you wanted in the OP, is to look the best you can. You don't have to be a swimsuit model or anything but just looking like you actually want to be approached could do some good. What good is a stellar personality if no one has the opportunity to see it?

I don't see why you're insulted by my comment. It's just a suggestion from a perspective that's probably about the fringes of the FF community. If you don't like it, you can just ignore it.
 
I can see where youre coming from. Girls do talk about guys locker room style. But its more lady bathroom talk. I guess Im happy I dont get the guys who are kinda jocky and shallow, they are more the type my friend chases. I myself, love geeks, Ive dated geeks. And had to chase bitches away from them lol.

Its your opinion and yes it did upset me to hear this.
 
I mean no disrespect but she doesn't sound like a good friend at all, maybe she has some qualities that you haven't meantioned and in that case I am sorry.

have you concidered going back to the shop on your own one day and go back to see if that guy will chat to you some more?
 
@Sapphire

As a final point, I don't understand why a guy that bases his attraction to a girl on looks is deemed as shallow. Usually the girl that is reciprocating the approach doesn't feel this way but only those on the sidelines that are watching. It's natural and there's not much guys can do about it. I love women, especially the ones that I find pretty. I'm not ashamed that I place a greater emphasis on looks than personality because that's just the way my body ticks. Believe it or not, most men are like this. I'm just being frank here because I could really care less how the internet community perceives me. Trust me when I've said I tried to be high and moral about my attraction (dated a pretty meh looking girl for a few months), but it just doesn't work out with me when there is no physical chemistry.

Anyhow, good luck getting back in the game.
 
Ok first off, don't worry about your friend so much. If there is one thing I can tell you from experience, is that the ones that brag the most about their relationship are the ones that making it look that way, when in fact, it's not. This is all dependent on how long they've been together too. If it's still early in the relationship, then they're just so happy about it, but that will go away and it'll be more normal. If they've been together a while and they're still like this, then it's like I said before, they're just putting out the illusion, and it won't last much longer. I don't mean to sound brash about your friend, but that's what I gather from what you've said.

As for you SS, I don't think you have anything to worry about. I mean if one guy was making small talk with you already, then obviously looks and personality aren't an issue. And if you ask me, and I'm sure many others on this forum, you aren't lacking in looks or personality either. I'm not sure if you're a shy person or not, but that might be what's holding you back. You have plenty to offer, now you just need to show that off to someone you have an interest in.

As for how to improve your "game", I can't really help you there. I don't have any "game" myself, so I can't offer any pearls of wisdom. If anything, I'd say just be yourself. Don't alter yourself to get someone to like you. Someone will come along, don't worry.

Best of luck! :ryan:
 
Excuse me? I am attracted to a girl or boy by personality first. The material stuff like looks comes way down the line. Generalization does nothing for our reputation and you give men a bad name with this portrayal when most of us are not like that.

Good luck Sapphirestar. I'm sure you'll find happiness. If you have to cut ties to your friend to do so, please do. I wish you all the luck in the world with the guy from GAME! :awesome:
 
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I can understand what you're going through, Sapphire. I went through this in high school with my best friend, though it wasn't all bragging; she did actually get lots of guys, while I barely got any attention from them. It was incredibly frustrating; however all these years later I'm the one who ended up married and she's still going from boyfriend to boyfriend trying to find happiness. I really don't think you should worry about the frequency of your friend's "conquests" because they are probably not particularly meaningful; if she has to brag to you about them it sounds more like it's a hobby for her or something and she's not very serious about finding someone. And honestly, from what I can tell, most guys who are worth being in a steady relationship with don't care for that type of person at all.

Anyway, it sounds like that guy in the game store would be worth talking to. I definitely think you should go for it ^_^ And don't listen to your friend if she tries to make you leave, she's probably just jealous that he was talking to you and not her :D
 
Thank you guys. I do lack confidence, alot. It was frustrating in GAME cause we were getting on and cause she wasnt getting the attention she wanted to leave. And now almost every day she calls me and tells me how her flirty love life is going!! Im sick of it. Shes my best mate and boss and I cant tell her to knock it off, but when I change the subject or talk about my non excistant love life, her face and persona totally change. Almost a stoned look on her face, no expression. Just stares through me.

Its like Im her confidence boost almost and Im there to make herself feel better. As sad as its sounds, she is also really my only mate. I do have mates, but non live near me, so I cant make her angry as I'll end up alone. And after speaking to my ex, yeah I know, I doubt we'll get back together. And that scared me as Im not a big social butterfly and I met him during work as we were workmates. And yes I still so love him, so it makes things difficult looking at other men or knowing he will one day find someone else.
 
Why not make a lame excuse to go back to GAME? You seemed to confident around him and he seemed to share the same interest in you, I think you should give it a shot.

If you do manage to get with this guy, then you'll have something, and your friend can't look at you as a confidence boost. You could even go as far as rubbing it in her face. :ryan:
 
This may seem harsh, and feel free to tell me you don't like this advice, but I REALLY don't think your friend is good for you. You might be worried about being lonely with no friends but I think it's much better than being paranoid about losing your current friend and her not being interested in you. I think you need to stand up. Take Kelly's suggestion, and give him your number. Confidence, or even a brief display of it, is always attractive for both sides. Muster up the courage, imagine it will go well, and it will. Dump your friend because she's interested in no one but herself. Even if you don't get a relationship from the GAME guy, you might get a friendship.
 
I had a friend like that SS.

Even though my life was clearly better then hers she still used to put me down because she knew that, and tried to make herself feel better which got me kind of depressed.

She would always try to take the lead on everything and boss me around. Tell me what to do, and if I said something to displease her, she would literally hit me. It was the final straw that last part.

Once I realised what a complete bitch she was for doing that to me, when I was meant to be her best friend, I wrote her a really long letter of all the things I needed to say and told her that I no longer wanted her friendship. I told her that she wasn't my boss and that wasn't how friendships worked etc and that I was sick of her trying to put me down just because her life wasn't going the way she wanted.

I mean, who needs that really?

I only had her as a friend at the time, but there was no way I was going to hang on to that simply for the sake of having someone by my side.

It's true that I did have Steve at the time and probaby made things easier as I knew I wasn't going to be completely alone.

However, I'd rather be alone then have someone constantly get me down all the time to be honest.

I think you'd do much better without her.

I hope you get things sorted real soon. <3
 
No friend is worth that amount of trouble. If she really was your friend, she really wouldn't rub it in.

Just go out and be yourself. If your friend is truly a friend, you won't lose her if you go to GAME and ask that guy out, or at least develop a friendship with him. If she cuts ties with you, she was never a friend in the first place.

Sorry if I sounded a little harsh, but I wish I could talk to her to give her a piece of my mind. :D
 
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