Serious How do you make sure your life is on the path you want it to be?

[Paddy McGee]

So, I've been on the Q 'n' A website Quora a lot and, while it does attract the type of people who enjoy humble-bragging about their alternative lifestyles(Snark), I recently came across a question which got me thinking:

How should I evaluate that my life is going in the direction I want it to?

So, how do you people keep track? Do you write questionaires about your career, fitness, relationships, etc and answer then analyse them?

Do you discuss with friends, your partner?

Do you even evaluate at all? If not, why not?


Let us know!

 

[Shu]

I think honestly, your goals are your goals. If it includes someone, I definitely like to have them know. Though if it's something that's going to break a habit, then obviously that's a different thing. I used to get in a rut fast, due to I'd get home and go directly to the TV or Computer to pop on a game. I didn't feel great waking up in the morning and because of it didn't have that great of motivation throughout my work day.

I as well, started dating someone last year from my high school days. We had interests in one another in high school, but we were on two different routes in life. Years later, we are in the same town again, and she has a kiddo. I am definitely doing all I can to keep us out doorsy people, even if it means walking over to the park for the day or swimming at the rec center or community pool.

We have an Osprey backpack where we take turns with the kiddo in outdoor hiking. I can't always be active but I plan to as part of my goals in life. I figured out the minimalist way in life by keeping things very cheap and that's my goal going forward.

The only goal I have in the business sense is one day to maybe own my own business in my field. I have had quite a bit of success in my field, the issue is obviously not to be replicable in any sense. To be able to cover the over head though, it might be a bit before getting a little bit of a foundation.

My single friends are having a hard time adjusting due to they are more of a "Let's go do something now!" and I don't have that way out when trying to help out with the kiddo. I've learned to be a bit of a father by raising my younger niece, and have since helped out with the kiddo as well. I enjoy living in the moment, don't get me wrong, but I definitely want to "plan" stuff before taking actions. Most of my married friends with kids feel the same. Though I think everyone should climb

 

[Bambi]

I went a little off track for a while, mid life crisis i think. though ive always been very focused on the 'end game' which for us is paying off our mortgage. We have one year left; we have been overpaying by ALOT meaning we have condensed a 20somethign year mortgage into five (don't ask it's been crazy) the first two years we over paid a few hundred extra a month, then we went hardcore and were overpaying by over a grand amd have just entered our fifth year. It's been hard work and sometimes we've lost focus individualy, but luckily that has never happened at the same time for either of us so have managed to keep each other on track. We are now within our final year despite me going a bit mad and buying two motorbikes and now it's just easy to keep that focus as we are so close to being mortgage free it would be stupid to stop now

 

[charmy]

I hadn’t really given this much thought to be honest. It’s funny because it has often happened that I thought I knew which direction I was going to go but then have done something completely different.

It’s a tricky question because I think people’s goals/direction change over time and in different circumstances. However, I think people generally know when life isn’t going in the direction they want it to when they are unhappy with what they are doing. I have many friends that have changed careers or gone back to study because they weren’t satisfied with things as they were.

In my case, while there are still many things I’m uncertain of for my future, I’m happy with where things are at at the moment, so I think this is my main method of evaluation.

 

[blakstang98]

Well, there are short term and long term goals. In general, achieving your short term goals will lead to you fulfilling your long term ones. For me personally as a youth, I wanted to finish school and graduate. Then I wanted to go to college and graduate. Then land a career job. These were all bite-size (though over a somewhat long period of time) goals. These led to my long term goals of getting married, having children and owning a house. The short term education based goals were to help me achieve the life I wanted when I was an adult (though the getting married and having kids part had nothing to do with education, though it helps somewhat). I am fortunate enough to have hit my goals, now I have new goals. Raising kids, watching them grow into their lives and setting up their future. A work in-progress.

Now I obviously oversimplified this, but it's up to the person to keep their desired path in life no matter how long it takes. Life has a way of throwing obstacles in your path, some harder than others. We all end up having adversity we have to face and difficulties to challenge. Goals even end up changing goals over time, which isn't a bad thing either. It really is up to the person though. A person has to stay focused and aware of their goals and keep striving to achieve them, otherwise they lose their way down the wrong path, which can happen easily at times. There are always forks in the road. Sometimes you may even take the wrong paths, intentional or not. So long as you hit your goals, all else doesn't matter. Even if you're not completely on the right path, there will be another fork that can get you closer. It's amazing how surprisingly easy it all seems and how complex it seems, all at the same time.

 

[Daenoxiis]

I first acknowledge that it will be a challenge for me to do so because I suffer a series of mental health issues.
I then apply myself to the best of my ability to my goals in a sort of reverse-engineering style, I know where I want to be, I just have to walk it backwards from my goals, back to myself.

Then I take it in intervals. Baby steps a first, and then longer intervals later after some practice. I'm super critical of myself naturally, so I have to remember not to beat myself up over mishaps and/or mistakes and that's actually the hardest part of it and so to micromanage that, that is why I break things down into baby steps first. Because the whole longevity of something is quite overwhelming.

The long-haul spot-check for me personally is a decade. I really can't plan ahead more than probably like 2 years practically, but I have a system for myself that relatively works, provided I stay in my lane (i.e. out of my feels) and focus on myself. If I'm wear I wanna be in 10 years time, than I'm all for it. If not, than perhaps I did a series of things wrong which I should not do again and it's back to the drawing board The other good point of the baby steps is that things in 2 year intervals will easily let me know if I'm going in the direction I want to be or not. The easiest way for me to tell is by my bank account. I'm not trying to be wealthy, I would just like to have a car again, my own apartment eventually, and a bed that doesn't have a hole in it the size of my chest cavity. And yet: still, I've been in worse places. At least I'm not sleeping under a tree to shelter me from the rain anymore.

 

[Miko]

I never really had long term goals when I first finished school. I think growing up I had issues looking at long-term goals, the thought of being in school another 4+ years seemed so insanely long & yet I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I didn't really want to think about it beyond the year I was currently in. It's funny looking back at it, especially now that 4 years feels like no time at all, but when you're young the concept of time is just.... different.

Um, I dunno, I guess I've just done things by the seat of my pants for a while. Like someone said earlier, most of my short-term goals just evolved into long-term goals or lead to them. Looking back I wish I had taken the time to go into some kind of schooling or program to fall back on but it is what it is. There's always time for schooling in the future but I have no long-term goal at the moment because it's just not in my cards right now.

How I view goals now really just depends on the season I'm in. I had my school years, then I left school & started dating, I moved & got married, got a new car & experienced first 'real' vacation (apparently that was important at that time lol), got pregnant & bought a house and then raised and infant-->toddler. I feel like I'm just now ending my season of raising an infant/baby and moving on to raising a grade schooler (& maybe a few other things?) Really those 'seasons' I didn't think about the 'season' ahead, just what was needed/wanted at the time & just slowly worked at it. I never really knew what I wanted to do with my life, I didn't even want children when I first started dating, but things just change you know? Your interests change & your perspectives change.

I dunno. I guess I don't evaluate it. I talk about things of course with my husbando but we're fairly the same in that respect. Sometimes we really have to push one another to actually get into gear to start working towards something, but it comes as we need it.


I'm not even sure this post makes sense. Life is just hard sometimes, especially for some more than others, but we're all just trying to make it out there.