Everyone I know is engaged!

[SapphireStar]

Okay, my friend from uni whom I havent seen since May sent a text saying she was engaged to a wonderful guy called Darren!? She was single when we left for the summer has she had recently been dumped by her Polish boyfriend for another girl.

Great, just great I thought. I mean, yeah Im happy, but engaged to a guy in such a short space of time and at 20 years old. Okay, age has nothing to do with it, but I felt like I had been stabbed. i personally wanted to cry my eyes out. So many people I know have gotten engaged to their partners, one is married already and another is having her fiances baby also!

My last relationship lasted for over 3 years and yes marriage after we graduated was discussed. But of course, it ended before either of us left. The ones who are engaged or married werent dating their fiances for very long, which upsets me as Ive got zippo.

I highly doubt my current boyfriend will propose, todays 6 months and the word love hasnt even came up. So I know for a fact he doesnt feel like that about me. I know it sounds childish, but Ive always wanted this. I was the one who never stood out and when I first got a boyfriend when I was 17, people wouldnt believe it.

I want to show I belong to someone and that they love me that much ... but from the looks of it I doubt it'll ever happen. Both me and my family thought I had found the one, but looked what happened. Ive been told that Im young and dont want to rush into something like engagement and marriage, but this ugly duckling wants to show someone loves her enough.

Shit, Im just feeling so damn sorry for myself. I cried myself to sleep last night cause I feel like deserved a ring on my finger. After all I put up with, what I was promised ...

 

[Kain]

You'll find someone eventually, you just have to give it time. If your boyfriend isn't willing to commit then i'd advise giving him the boot because otherwise you won't find that special somebody you're supposed to be with. Everybody has somebody they're meant to be with, i'm sure of it. Some people may find that someone early in their lives, but just because you haven't yet doesn't mean that you're never going to. It just means that the longer you wait the more special it'll be when you do find him. You will find that special someone, just don't give up.

 

[Soulcorruptor]

Yea things like this take time, especially to find someone you know or deffently think you can spend the rest of your life with. If the guy your with now hasnt even said the words I love you, to you then your right, he most likely has no feelings for you. So get rid of him dont allow him to toy with your heart. Just keep looking heck i can relate sort of I've had my bad luck with relationships. Just keep looking forward and try your best to believe there is that one person and soon you should find them.

 

[Jack's Smirking Revenge]

Well to be perfectly honest I think you're doing the right thing. You're waiting it out, and not rushing into something like all your friends (seem to be). It sounds harsh to say it but I can't see a marriage decided upon so suddenly and rashly is unlikely to work.
You'll definitely be better off waiting until you've found someone you're perfectly happy with before settling down like that. It may take a while, but I'm sure that it'll be worth the wait.

As for your "wanting to show you belong to someone" perhaps it would be best for you to talk it over with your boyfriend? Six months is a pretty long time, and I daresay that he is feeling the same. IIRC, this is your boyfriend's first *real* relationship? So he probably just feels awkward about getting it out there for the first time.

 

[Aselia]

i know what you mean Sapphire. 2 of my friends who just graduated High school have excitedly told me that they are engaged... even though its their choice, i think its crazy to decide on getting married so soon after high school.

 

[Elegy of Despond]

I'm slightly jaded and cynical when it comes to the idea of "soulmates" or the idea of me getting married. I'm really doubtful that I'd be suited to either so I really can't offer any sort of constructive advice or words of encouragement because from my point of view you're in the perfect place; not shackled down by marriage. But just because I'd view that is a good thing doesn't mean I'm telling you to, lol. We all have different wants and/or needs in life.

As far as marriage goes, just give it a good 3 or 4 years and then see where all these friends of yours who ran out and got married are. You might be glad you didn't follow in their footsteps, who's to say? I'm not sure how old you are, but if you're close to the average age around here and close to mine (I'm 24) I'd say we're pretty young for it. The average person our age really isn't in a spot to be able to effectively provide for a marriage and the ensuing family that such an endeavor begins.

Could be what your boyfriend is thinking; proposing marriage is a big thing, especially from a man's point of view. I know with modern day society and all the wife goes out and makes a living side-by-side with the husband, and usually both of them shoulder the responsibility of supporting a family these days. But traditionally, and we as a society really haven't fully let go of the spirit of this viewpoint despite our practices otherwise, it falls to the man to provide for the family. I know that were I to ever get married, I would feel responsible for making sure that my wife and any potential kids we'd either have or possibly have in the future were well taken care of. And I know that right now at my age, with my current employment and lack of any full college accomplishments I am most certainly not in the position to get married or even engaged. I lack the means to effectively support a family and take on that kind of commitment and responsibility.

Ask yourself this; what does your boyfriend do for a living? Can it support a wife and quite possibly a child (accidents happen lol). Is he emotionally prepared and responsible enough to even take on that kind of role? Look past how you both might feel about each other. Or whether you want it for the reasons that you've expressed so far. Love goes a long way but with marriage more than just love comes in to play, unfortunately. There are a lot of variables to consider, and perhaps your guy would feel very overwhelmed at how much he still might have to prepare for.

 

[Franki-Chan]

In all honesty, is being engaged the most important thing to you? Or are you just afraid of being alone, I'm 19 and believe I'm a little too young to get married or even thinking about being engaged. You will find happiness but it doesn't necessarily mean by finding your soul mate.

 

[SapphireStar]

As Pooley has said my current boyfriend may be abit meh aboiut saying how he really feels. My mum believes that he may have these feelings, but is terrified of my reaction to him saying I love you. And of course she said I shouldnt compare past relationships as my ex said he loved me about 6 months in and talked about marriage alot.

I dont think my current boyfriend will be the one I marry as he can be emotionally unstable and I dont think he'd want to think about anything like that at the moment. He can just about look after himself, which isnt very good and he only spends his money on himself.

I dont know, I just wanted to show I belonged to someone. I guess Im scared of being alone as the 6 month breakI had last year was the only time I was alone and single since I was 17! It scared me alot and I was beyond happy when I met my boyfriend. Im not suing him, far from. I care about him alot.

 

[Franki-Chan]

In all honesty I'm a bit like you wanting to be cared for and having someone there not alone but through this year I have realised that no matter what happens I will always have myself so Ive made the decision of being an independent woman no need of man and thinking about enjoying now rather than always looking into the future for that one, in my experience its the best way to deal with such thoughts because if you keep thinking about it, it just keep distancing itself away from you.

But I agree your doing the right thing about your boyfriend.

 

[Slaying_ice]

Why do you want to get married so soon? I mean you got your life ahead of you to worry about also. (I am assuming your 19-22?). I have never been married before therefore, I can only tell you from what people have told me. But it is good to date a person for a good year or two before you marry them. You don't want to get married to someone and find out it was a mistake and you rushed into things.