Serious Did I handle getting turned down well?

[Korytco]

"hey can I walk with you" ---sure (she says)

I walk with her and have little to say I say so....and I laugh at myself and she laughs with me soon after. She asks me what class I have next, and I say nothing I go home, its my last class of the day .

Then moments later BAM ...I just up and ask her out...it was my first time so don't be too harsh .

I say would you like to maybe hang out some time, date ?
I ask the woman out , she is silent, and blushes, smiles, and I say it's ok you can say no if you want to. She says I have a boyfriend, and I say that's ok, I just thought that you were an interesting person and that I should ask you out .

I don't want this to change anything between us, or make you feel uncomfortable. I'm sorry if I made you feel awkward . You know it makes me feel better as a person to take that step and ask you .
She says, yeah , sincerely . We reach a door I hold it open for her and she briefly thanks me.

Then I go on , anyways, so you have photography next? She says yes, and I say who is your professor, and she says Ben, his name is Ben...and I say something to the effect of how I thought my sister had Ben as a professor, and we go on a little more about that, and then we get sucked back into the asking part. I tell her once again that I did not mean to make her uncomfortable, or to feel awkward . I say its hard for a guy to know who is taken, you know you have to ask around She says yes again. I know its awkward so I guess I should stop dwelling on it, she says yes.

She says , yes, then I say" I'm sure that you are used to it though", and she smiles and says yes .

Then she goes through another door and I say goodbye, have a good, nice day....

 

[Shu]

Eh?

Hmm.. well it all seems like a made up random story but I'll give it a shot anyways.

Here's my thought.. you probably made her feel good about herself for that moment, so getting turned down in the manner you did... well I would have to say.. you handled it in a pretty chill manner. I would discourage in questioning her about awkwardness because that confronts the problem at hand, I would steer clear from it next time.

There are plenty of fish in the sea, but I would not randomly ask strangers out unless you have balls of steel. If you pick up on hints that she likes you.. then go for it. Otherwise you look like a weirdo just trying to hook up.

 

[Ironman]

Although you probably made her feeel good about having interest from someone other than her Boyfriend you also made her uncomfortable, but that is to be expcted after you just up and ask a lass out on a date.

but in the end, its all a question about how well you know this person, if she has been your friend for quite a while then you asking her out on a date would make her change how she sees you, but if you had just met her, or not known her very well then she could also have thought you were only talking to her to get her to go out on a date with you.
on occasion girls can take the situation and not become uncomfortable with it, but that is in the case of when they say "yea, i would love to" when you ask them out on a date. its just the wat these things happen

 

[Aztec Triogal]

Hahaha I'm so the wrong person to be posting in this thread. My usual dating story goes something like this:

Blah blah blah - we convo

Her: You're a nice guy

Me: What's your bra size?

Her: I'm never talking to you again.

It seems like you handled it well enough. For the most part, people don't seem to like it when you're apologetic for something natural like embarrassment. It can be perceived as cute if you do it once and never again... but more than once and it's almost always seen as pathetic. As for getting rejected, don't worry about it - it happens. It's part of life. You can't really control the pitches you're thrown, just how and when you swing at them... for a little baseball analogy.

 

[Korytco]

Thank you for the replies, it was the first time I ever asked a woman out.

 

[Dirges for Damcyan]

You did well. It is always hard, and rejection can't help but hurt. I find the best thing to do in that situation is to try to laugh at yourself, say something along the lines of "of course you have a boyfriend, look at you," and then find an exit strategy without seeming obvious. Then you play the balancing act of not avoiding her while simultaneously not approaching her, and lick your wounds the best you can

You did well. You managed to seem interested without tipping your hand too much. Next time I would not bring up that you made things awkward, and just try to be more casual. Don't worry, there are other ones out there, and you seem like a nice guy. The luck will come

D4D

 

[Saints&Storms]

Thats what I say to guys when I'm just not interested. I hope the girl wasn't lying >,> Girls are like that though...

 

[looneymoon]

Hahaha I'm so the wrong person to be posting in this thread. My usual dating story goes something like this:

Blah blah blah - we convo

Her: You're a nice guy

Me: What's your bra size?

Her: I'm never talking to you again.

How is it that I have no trouble imagining this?


From the looks of it, you handled it alright. As previous people have said, you may have dwelled on the apology a bit too much. It probably would have been better if you mentioned the one time, and move on from there. Otherwise it can get a little irritating, and may ruin the otherwise good impression you made by asking her out in the first place.

 

[Sweet Misery]

It's no biggie.
Considering it's your first time, yeah it must make you feel unsure and hesitate i bet, just keep in mind that theres more girls out there
It'll be fine Just do your thing, have fun live for the moment.. she'll come to you sooner or later

 

[Mitsuki]

This seems more fitting in The Temple of the Ancients, so I'll move the thread there.

::Thread Moved::

 

[The Illusive Man]

That was very noble and very well handled, I know all too well the feeling of getting shot down in flames and crashing like a car-wreck shortly after.

I'm currently licking my wounds from a more recent foolish and ill thought blurt out. (I tend to be good at making a total fool of myself and often feel terribly embarassed and stupid afterwards)

The biggest problem with rejection, it never gets any easier.... but you started on the right track to handling it well, taking rejection in your stride is the first big step into the big-wide world of relationships, I wish you the best of luck in your future encounters!