Serious Bleh

[TheMixedHerb]

Well dunno where to start really. I've just been feeling a bit down in the dumps and am just starting to get tired of basically, EVERYTHING.
I've only recently just come out of High School which wasn't the worst of things to happen to me. I hated it there.
I've been picked on mosta my life because I'm small for my age (some people find it cute ) but it just pisses me off y'know? I mean I'm at college now which is a lot better than school but I just constantly find work getting on top of me and it really does annoy me. Basically I feel a bit shit and have been doing for ages. Just feels like nothing goods gonna happen.
Well I know you're probably not arsed but I wanted to write it down I feel a lil bit better now.
The other thing is too I don't wanna tell anyone else this because I don't wanna burden them with my 'problems' but I thought I'd annoy you guys instead.

 

[Dionysos]

Sometimes it does feel good to shout out somewhere... Better to do that than to eat yourself up from the inside and turn insane like I have .

Do you feel lonely now, after leaving High School? In that situations you were familiar with, and people (despite how crappy they were to you) that you knew are all gone? Or is that side a relief?
I dunno how that feels, I went to 6th Form after, and it was attatched to my old school so I carried on with the ppl I knew for another 2 years and THEN the bomb was dropped and everyone dispersed.. Despite me not really knowing most of them, I miss them...

I'm feeling similarly at the moment in that I think nothing good is going to happen.. I look to the future and all I can see if me dead. . Don't know why, but that is all I can imagine, because I'm struggling to see if I'll survive this next year. I don't seem to be going anywhere good... Despite being at Uni and apparantly meant to be at my prime. This gets me down more than anything because I know how screwed I am now.... but know that in the future when I'm old, I'll look back at my wasted life. BUT.. I feel powerless to do anything about it. .

I won't go into detail, this is your cry thread, I'll create my own another day perhaps if I pluck up the courage...

 

[TheMixedHerb]

Well sometimes I feel all on my own but I think that it'll hopefully go away soon. I just felt like I needed to let it out in some way shape or form and this was the least destructive.
College is a lot better than school because you can relate to the people in your class as you're all studying the same things. All the other students don't even know me. The thing what annoys me the most is that they judge me before they get to know me. I'm not a bad person but I've had some pretty un-friendly people pass judgement on me in the past. Not gonna go into detail with this...
But I imagine that things will hopefully turn around it just seems like it's not gonna be soon.

 

[SaShman]

The thing what annoys me the most is that they judge me before they get to know me.

How do you know they have passed judgement on you? Do they actually tell you they don't like you or do you assume they don't like you? I know I've been in plenty of situations where a person has given me an odd look, but after meeting that person I've realised that he/she is actually pretty nice.

I've been told that sometimes I have a very "disgruntled" look, but that is actually the face I make when I'm concentrating or thinking really hard. So sometimes when I'm involved in an interesting conversation, I look angry when in fact I am very interested. See how easy it is to misunderstand people.

I'm not a bad person but I've had some pretty un-friendly people pass judgement on me in the past. Not gonna go into detail with this..

Could it possibly be that maybe these unpleasant experiences in your past have lead you to assume that other people are likely to pass judgement on you?

Even if people do pass judgement on you it doesn't mean they hate you, people can't help but assume things about other people. I'm sure you have assumed things about people in the past which are not completely correct, I know I have. It's human nature to assume things about strangers, it serves as a defence mechanism to help us survive.

But I imagine that things will hopefully turn around it just seems like it's not gonna be soon.

For most of the year I was pretty down in the dumps and I only recently started to gain more confidence in myself, these things can turn around surprisingly quickly and suddenly. Hate to sound corny, but it really helps if you try to have a positive outlook on life, which I can see you already have since you can imagine things turning around.

I won't go into detail, this is your cry thread, I'll create my own another day perhaps if I pluck up the courage...

The fact that you just made that post proves that you already have the courage to make your own thread.

 

[Dionysos]

So basically your'e rather insecure about whether people are looking down on you, passing negative judgements? I can understand that. When you feel down, something is bothering you, and when you have a history of being victimised behind you, at low times of your life you feel this a lot more.
Everyone feels this to an extent at some point, but sad and insecure people dwell on it, and feel it a lot more.

A lot of this insecurity might be because of you going to a new place, College. Meeting a mass of new people can be a scary thing, and you never really know how you stand with everyone, as people you once knew are gone and your left to start again. This side of things is even worse at Uni . If you mank up the first few weeks of getting to know people, then your'e screwed for all 3 years of Uni... Practically... Though that is a tad extreme and untrue. But nearly!
But the change in scenery, the new standards etc, can all add up to make you feel a little meh, as you don't know where you stand in the world anymore.

Well sometimes I feel all on my own but I think that it'll hopefully go away soon. I just felt like I needed to let it out in some way shape or form and this was the least destructive.

Ditto. This is why Forums are great. If you feel trapped and isolated in your own world, at least you can yell your head off on here without any significant bad consequences, and without dumping it all on "real people" that may sod off if you ever give them a hint of people unhappy.

Do you have any people to talk to, like this, in real life? A close friend or anything?

The fact that you just made that post proves that you already have the courage to make your own thread.

Perhaps. But I don't know about going into detail. I have a fear that if someone finds out who I am and connects Argor-me to real life me, I'll screw my situation up even more. So I'll leave it a while.

 

[TheMixedHerb]

I understand what you both mean, well they don't say that they don't like me to my face but they're not the quitest of people, saying stuff about me as I'm walking RIGHT PAST THEM. But I know what you mean SaShman about past experiences affecting this, I'm not denying that to any extent it's just I can't help it. I wish I could but I can't which is kinda annoying. There has been the odd case where I get along with 'randomers' xD but it's few and far between, I mean the more cut off I am the easier it is to no be hurt, right? Anyway thanks a lot guys for the input much appreciated.

Perhaps. But I don't know about going into detail. I have a fear that if someone finds out who I am and connects Argor-me to real life me, I'll screw my situation up even more. So I'll leave it a while.

I agree with you on this but like you said earlier it's best to let it out sometimes.

 

[TheMixedHerb]

I've decided, i'm not gonna dwell on this anymore, i'm just gonna carry on living life the way I WANT TO. If anyone has a problem with that then FUCK THEM. Cheers for the advice guys you've helped loads. I don't think that there is no reason to dwell on it now if I do then that means I'll just get worse and worse. ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE!!!!!