[V4] What's Your Mood?

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Mood: ...dreadful??

I guess dreading that I have to wake up at 9am and it's already 4am . I hate when work schedules me in the day time because I have trouble sleeping so I'm never rested when I go in, also I'm sort of irritated they scheduled me for a day I couldn't come in so I .... surprise couldn't come in lol. Thankfully they weren't upset with me for not being able to but gosh , I just want a new job entirely to be honest.

A boring office job ideal because being a hostess is sucking the enjoyment of life from me :^) for various reasons
 
Exhausted. I barely slept at all last night and then I got a wrong number calling me 2 hours after I finally got to sleep. Rough night ahead of me I feel :(
 
Mood: Tired/Annoyed

University has obviously started again and already it is a bit annoying. I wanted to take an additional online class but apparently a hold on my file is not allowing me to do so which is bullshit. The university portal says that I owe money still when I have already paid, and this may or may not screw my opportunity to add another class. By January 19th, if I can't take the class, I'm going to have to take it or something else next time, and well I was planning to be done by May/June with my degree but it looks like that won't be possible if this crap keeps up. It is not exactly the end of the world if I do not get to take the online class, but it would be nice so I can finish by summer, IF I take summer courses. The uni needs to fix their shite because it honestly has me annoyed. Calling them has not worked and led me to idiotic services.... I am also tired. I will have to get used to my timetable because I am at school now every weekday except Friday. I do not have THAT bad of a timetable but I also have a job, therefore school can affect my working hours as well. I guess it is not surprising since it is my last year before graduation, but I had better prioritize school over work. If they cut my hours and paycheck, I'll have to accept that because school is more important. I'll have to figure out what is best for me. Have to do lots of reading, writing, and discussing, which means video games are pretty much out of the question until the weekend unless I finish my work. The worst have to be Mondays because I am at school from 1pm-8:30 pm, but that should be the least of my worries right now. I want to finish with this uni and I hope to study at the best uni in Canada, which is oddly a few blocks away from my current one. My philosophy and languages degree should allow me to pursue international studies/relations at the other university, if I get in, and if not I will find a job elsewhere, hopefully abroad... but I will likely need the other uni's recognition for that. Oh and, I cannot forget about people annoying me, especially the ones that constantly meddle with your affairs….
 
Mood: Exhausted

Reason: Monday's are always our biggest day loading trucks. Not to mention we're short staffed atm and somebody left early. Of the 16,000 cases, I loaded 2020 and was at 218/hour and finished in 4th place for the night. So yeah. Fun stuff!
 
Mood: Hapus

Reason: Just got in after a knackering day and slept for a good half hour. Feeling really refreshed and stuff now :griin:. I also finished recording FF10 yesterday, so now I really only have to focus on recording Higurashi; not so much to think about with that one! So...off I go to do just that! :monocle:.
 
Mood: Excited

Reason: This week seems to be absolutely flying by. It's awesome because this weekend me and my family are going out to lunch to celebrate my dad getting out of the hospital from his surgeries and doing something together as a family. So yeah, bring on the weekend! :)
 
Exhausted. Long long day so far and it's only 4:40pm. I've been up since 7am. v_v I slept for about 5-6 hours last night at least. Bedtime early again for me tonight I think :c
 
Mood: Tired
Reason: Work nights haven't been long like they are in the summer time or during holidays, but my personal work load has been picking up. Why you ask? Because people intentionally go slow on purpose to avoid trucks that are shitty because they don't wanna do them. So I always get stuck doing them. Which I guess helps prove why I think that I'm hands down one of our best workers. Considering the fact that I'm on a long fork pallet jack and I pull 200-220 cases/hour every night when I pull bullshit garbage everyday, and the standard case/hour is 170. Some people at work have this funny conspiracy that I always get the best/good stuff. No. I just dont pick like a god damn bitch. Pick fast, do your job, and stay off your damn phone.
 
Mood: Blah

Massive headache and a lot of stress to go with it lately. I've been trying to relax today but I ended up rearranging my whole room and cleaning the bathroom. Lol, way to relax. I'm not sure what I want to do. I want to play a game, but I don't know what. I want to watch a film, but I don't know what. I want to take a bath but I don't wanna deal with the cold after coming out. It's a hard knock life.
 
Mood: Extremely satisfied.
Reason: So, as I posted in the 'What are you currently playing' thread, I restarted my PE file and I got to the fight with the Spider Woman on top of the hospital building. Wow what a difference it makes just by tuning your equipment and weapons. I seriously just stood beside her and beat her ass. She was insanely cake. I honestly didnt expect to have that happen. Her damage was laughable lmao.
 
:|

I use that emote a lot because I like it. But I think it fits. Today has just been... terrible. I'm tired, feel incredibly stressed and am just in a sour mood. It seems likely that I'll have to do another year at university because of a screw up on their end with my enrolment. Not sure if I can even afford that. But I don't really have much choice either way.

Just gonna listen to some music and sleep for the next hundred hours.

Oh and, I cannot forget about people annoying me, especially the ones that constantly meddle with your affairs….
I hope this comment is a coincidence and not at all related to what you've constantly been accusing me of for months now, word for word. This is the only time I'm going to bother responding to you. Please just drop it already.
 
I hope this comment is a coincidence and not at all related to what you've constantly been accusing me of for months now, word for word. This is the only time I'm going to bother responding to you. Please just drop it already.

None of this was even aimed at you...

back on topic

Mood: Not amused

Been sick this week and missed two days of university which means I'm a bit behind on readings and exercises, which worries me. It all started Wednesday morning around five in the morning. I started feeling very dizzy and threw up, went back to sleep and then same pattern. My stomach was feeling very ill, and I think I had fever as well. I am not sure what caused this, but it was such bad timing since the new term has started and I should be fully concentrated on that. I hope that by next week I am all better and ready to go for my classes because two absences is already a lot to make up. Gonna try to chill this weekend and do my readings while playing Xenoblade X and Rise of the Tomb Raider on the side.
 
Mood: Tired

Mentally and physically. :brooding: My sleeping pattern is......excuse me, WHAT sleeping pattern? I've been doing gatherer leves on XIV while listening to some Enya, which has been good, but I'm tired of that now too! :lew:
 
Mood: Meh
Reason: No reason in particular. I just feel like I don't care about anything. Is that weird? It just feels like Tuesday and I'm going with the flow of the things.
 
Mood: Happy
Reason: We all(for the most part) busted ass today at work and got out early. For what seems like a month now I've pulled over 200 cases an hour( I did 230 tonight and finished 3rd overall) and have been showing that I'm one of our fastest and most accurate case pullers we have. In 2 months I've only missed 1 case.
 
Mood: Tired

Even though I caught up on some sleep. Ehhhhh, maybe it's that time of the month! :wacky: Gonna cook dinner soon and maybe just take another nap, see how I feel after. Can't beat that home made spaghetti, though. Maybe a movie as well.
 
Mood: Refreshed
Reason: Last night I went to bed insanely early. We were out in town all afternoon and once we got back I was beat. Plus its cold as shit here and cold weather just puts my body into shut down mode. I finally got more than 5 hours of sleep for the 1st time in months. Sleeping in felt really good :)
 
I read something online the other day where someone's like 'if you're feeling depressed, go and keep active' as if it is that easy. I just don't understand how 'depressed' people can manage to go biking when I can barely force myself to eat anymore. I'm not saying I'm depressed because that term has lost all meaning in today's society, but something is wrong with me.

I think I knew I was getting bad when I had my once favorite snack (oreo) while we were really really broke (it was a treat sent from my grandma) and usually they'd cheer me up (because we're poor and we can't afford them), but I ended up putting some in a bag and forgetting about them completely. I know that might sound pathetic to you that it took me ignoring an oreo to figure out that I am worse off then I ever thought, but it was strange that comfort food was no longer 'comforting'.

I'm just so tired of everything... and I don't mean tired as in 'yawn' tired, I mean tired as in 'none of it matters' tired (that's another cliche statement but I can't word it any differently than that). My situation is so complicated that i won't even bother going into it, but I feel as if someone has chopped off my limbs and threw me to the ocean and told me to swim and the strangest part is i don't think I'm scared of it, I just wish it got to the point already. i thought I'd be feeling so much 'yearning' for something to make me feel better or for something to 'save' me, but I'm not. it's like when someone hides around a corner to try and scare you but you saw them. i feel like life keeps throwing me curve balls expecting to shock me but i'm just standing there, uncaring that i'm being pelted.

but I'm actually feeling closure about all of it. i'm accepting that this is how I'll feel until I die and it's been beating me down for so long that I just don't care anymore. you end up being brutalized so badly that your nerves endings are all shot and you can't recognize pain anymore.

so apathy has it's advantages.

the thing that makes this so tedious is that I have to feign a lot of what I do. happiness, sadness, anger, annoyance. all the tiny gears that make us human I have to force to move when really I'd rather just rust already. I don't want to act like there's a way out. I don't want to act like I love eating foods i hate or once enjoyed. I don't want to act like I'm still 'giddy' over things that I once loved. I don't want to act like i'm scared for the future or that there's any hope for me. I'm tired of having to act angry, sad, hopeful, or happy. Those cogs are all worn down and gone now and I just wish people would let me be lethargic.

(Hugs)


Mood: Stressed

New year, and it's been pretty hectic. I had to cut my availability at work to make room for school and lab, and I can feel that overwhelming panic wash over me as I reflect upon my decisions. I just hope I've made the right choices, and that if it turns out for the worst, I can find something redeeming at least and make something out of it. I'll have to look into working full 8 hours on the weekends to make up for the hours lost at work as well, so here's to hoping.

I also found a job that's right up my alley but the commute to L.A. is problematic. I really, really wanted to apply and make it work somehow because I have a real chance at it, but I can't, it's impossible. I suppose once my son starts school things will ease up a bit. I absolutely hate that feeling of watching an opportunity float near me, and my feet are in shackles.
 
Mood: Worn out
Reason: Once again, somebody calls off on our biggest day. So automatically our day was pretty much fucked. My orders were also extremely shitty and I had to bust my ass to pull the rate we're supposed to. I wound up pulling 220/hour(200 is the average) and finished 5th. I also pulled 59 pallets. The next closest to me was lower 50's. So yeah. Shitty orders, shitty day, pretty much a typical Monday :hmph:
 
Mood: Tired

Today has been an extremely stressful day. Anxiety has been through the roof and I'm pretty sure I drove my mother up about 50 walls. :lew: I'm sure she'll forgive me someday. I'm such an anxiety freak it's unreal. :gonk: Aside from that I've stopped by my cousin's house and hung out for a while, only to almost get blown off the streets while going home with the crazy wind going on here. It was raining too. I'm also pretty fed up with some personalities. Mainly because it really isn't my job to tell you to stop lying or twisting things. I wish backbones were something you could purchase, more than a handful could use one. :wacky:

But then.... times like these make me appreciate some people just that much more as well, so maybe it's not all bad.
 
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