The Pub (Lads' Club)

Name changed, and rules editted into the first post.

Ok. Now that's sorted, have fun boys. ;))
 
Lol im really bored, but i would advise you not to piss the mods off..... otherwise it will be a short time for you on FFF.
 
Members thus far:

Royal
Sirsparrow





Can I have like a disclaimer too? Saying that whatever is said in this thread (excluding any racism, etc as discussed) stays and is not tampered/deleted/etc...Anything goes kinda thing?
 
Prometheus said:
Lol im really bored, but i would advise you not to piss the mods off..... otherwise it will be a short time for you on FFF.
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I'm not pissing them off on purpose. I am comprimising with them.

You, on the other hand, are pissing me off.

Get out of my thread please.
 
The stories you guys tell each other is completely up to you.

B, stop posting in the boys club.

Also,Royal, you can edit your first post to put in the members of your club rather than just posting updated lists. It saves you time etcetc.
 
Rubedo said:
The stories you guys tell each other is completely up to you.

Also,Royal, you can edit your first post to put in the members of your club rather than just posting updated lists. It saves you time etcetc.
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Thank you for your assistance...This will be a thread of epic proportions.

So, my first story takes place...some time...well I can't even fucking remember to be honest. But just know it takes place some time in the past...

Was sitting at home bored one night, sucking back a few beers in my room doing something, god knows what. Jumped on Facebook (isnt facebook the bane of our fucking existence??) started messaging people asking what was happening.
Got an invite from some chick, "Hey Hal, come to tysons party."
I needed no further persuasion. As I know Tyson throws a good party, and there is always lots of vagina there.
I rock up to the party, bottle of bacardi 151 in one arm, a carton of beer in the other. I setup my strategic position in the middle of everyone to gain the most attention.

I park my glorious (and well formed) arse on my carton, reach down and grab two beers and start double fisting them. I wasn't fucking around.
At this stage, I am already half cut as I have prob 7-8 beers before coming in. People at the party notice this, and one particularly ugly girl asks me why I am sitting in the middle and to move to the outside.
I reply by turning my back to her and saying 'can you hear something?'

I grab more beer and start double fisting. It's at this stage I realise beers are doing stuff all and I need to start getting into something a bit harder.
I crack my 151 and begin chugging. (for you who don't know, bacardi 151 is roughly 75% and is the only off the shelf spirit available that comes with a warning label and flame arrestors on the neck). This is going to be a messy night.

At this stage, a group of very attractive fem....fuck it, a group of hotties with fucking tits hanging out everywhere and short skirts. I was in fucking heaven. I walk straight over and introduce myself to the hottest one. I hear one mumble how drunk I was, I let her know I heard by telling her dont act like your not impressed. One girl seems to take a liking to me. I let her know my intentions and she says not now.

I say fuck her. And go back to my carton. I start chugging more 151 and chasing with beer. I need to break the seal now.
I walk upstairs and start pissing, upon finishing I realise I had an audience. I had unknowingly walked into the en-suite of a bedroom, where ALL the girls at the party had decided to go into. I sit down and drink more.

One girl says I am good looking and asks if I am a good kisser. I decide actions speak louder then words. She has a chug of my 151. This does not stand well with me, so I state my intentions very clearly.
We fuck.
Don't remember many details. And I am dead sure I called her at least 4 different names. I blew my load on her chest *high five*

I walk back out leaving her in the room naked with my man jam all over her. From here on is kind of hazy.

I walk out into the backyard where the party was and grab my carton and start swearing at everyone for taking them. But I think it was just me drinking them all.
It was at this stage as well, I stepped on a broken glass and cut my foot open. I find superglue and glue it back together and wash it off in the pool.
I puke in the pool.

I walk back upstairs to room full of girls, apprently I'm not liked anymore. no idea why. Fuck them. I hurl random abuse and storm out.
I find ugly girl from before and once again, I use my charm to state my intentions, good thing, she was as drunk as me. We fuck. repeat blow on chest. walk out, etc.

I drink some more 151. I puke some more, and then some. This was all by about 9:30pm...

I wake up, 10km away from the party, in the middle of a roundabout at 10am. Soaking wet and just in my boxers and shoes.

Last witness' say they saw me stumbling down the street, singing loudly and puking in every gutter.

There is probably more details, but I'm going off what I remember and what I've been told.

Sirsparrow said:
What would be your drink of choice on nights out Royal?
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My names Hal by the way...

My drink of choice...mmm. Tooheys Extra dry or long island ice teas.

Yourself?
 
I have a drunken story -_-

Me and my friend were pissed u p at the end of a night down town and decided we were hungry. We also decided it would be better for our diets (rofl) if we went to the all night asda instead of getting a kebab/pizza

So off we stumble only to encounter a bastard canal obstructing our way, we well couldn't be arsed walking alllll the way round (about 100 yds up ¬.¬) so we decided to action man it across a loch gate pissed as farts, dick 'ed ere can't swim...

We triumphantly made it to the other side, only to discover the all night Asda was in fast a Tesco and it was CLOSED

We were gutted

thats the only one that springs to mind other than randomly falling on my arse on the dance floor

Oh I punched my ex in the face once for drink driving :monster:
 
I can drink with the best of them, Im not being kept out just coz I happen to have tits, thats sexist!

Im the biggest drunk on the fucking forum! :wacky:

I shall have plenty of tales this weekend I hope!

Prometheus said:
Well i dont think i will be much help on that topic see as im 14 >.>, lol but if it was for women to, then Kelly could help you out.
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wat?

Prometheus said:
Lol im really bored, but i would advise you not to piss the mods off..... otherwise it will be a short time for you on FFF.
Click to expand...

STOP psudo modding please, we don't need you jumping in every other post
 
I call this topic "butter". Because it's on a serious roll. It's been homophobic, racist, and sexist, all in a span of... what.... 12 hours?

:gonk:
 
Can people step away from the remarks now, we will keep an eye on it, we are aware of what has been said, lets just talk about beer -_-
 
I remember dancing once at a local club. And feeling something connect with my elbow. Thinking I had hit the wall or something...

Turned around to one very upset girl who I had somehow elbowed in the nose while dancing. Blood was pissing out everywhere. I bought her a drink to apologise and ended up going home with her.

Good story too Auron. Keep them coming!!

On a side note, heard a piss funny term for now using a condom.

"Raw Dog"

hahahaha
 
My brother did that, twice, he elbowed a bottle into a girls teeth, how grim is that :wacky:

He doesn't drink much, bless him

I fell down some none slip stairs once, that was FRIGHTENING

Also, fell down some stairs in a club, my mate looked around to make sure no one witnessed it before picking me up, Im SO unsteady on my feet when Im drunk :gonk:

Gawd, I normally have so many stupid drunken tales and I cant remember ANY, Im ashamed of myself -_-

I can share the details of the worst hangover EVER though, whenever me and Clare go out together, we just end up in such a state, especially when it's a quid a drink..... we got picked up in a taxi at like 4am, by my then bf, and I was so drunk I fell over about 4 times in the taxi trying to sit down. Dont remember anything after that, but when I woke up I thought I was dying...if someone had actually said to me, take death or endure another 8 hours of this, I would have took death, hands down, I COULDN'T EVEN HOLD DOWN WATER

I didn't get out of bed all day, apart from to go for a shit....although I started to feel better at like 10pm, ordered a chinese had about 3 gobfulls and couldnt eat it, so I had it for brekkie instead
 
I'm joining an' shit.

My story...which one is best...hmm...uhhh....where do I start....possibly this one:

We got drunk at the pub, then during a game of pool, we were fighting as Jedi and Sith with the cues. Barmen was just laughing, and in the end I won the game. After that we went out, set a few bins on fire, got beaten up, ran through some woods whilst it's pitch black (Ya gotta try that some time - you run into holly bushes and trees an shit) Then we got home, and a few more beers, went out and fucked around again.

Another one....I was trying to do pull ups while drunk (it's actually impossible) and then I was doing 100m sprints (or I thought it was 100m) ended up into some bushes. Can't remember what happened next...but yeah ya get the gist. :)

A more recent one was me getting drunk at the pub near college...I went back in the main canteen staggering around laughing with my friend whilst everyone else was laughing at us and staring....now I have a bad reputation with certian people including my teachers. xD
If I'm ever late, he always says: 'Been down the pub?'

Oh yeahhhh, another one we got pissed and we decided to cause havoc an' shit. So we decided to steal a few trollys. xD Well...it's was fucking fun in them. After that we stole a large garden umbrella and a 'For Sale' sign. We stuck it outside our mates house at 2 in the morning, and left an umbrella staked against his front door. So in the morning, he's gonna look outside to see his house for sale, and get hit in the head with an umbrella. xD
Later on that night a bunch of chavs were after us too...well actually...the whole community.
 
You're both in haha.

Gotta love the drunk stumbles. I remember the time me and my mate tried to navigate our way through a 'shortcut' back to his after drinking at some party. I woke up with a stupid amount of scratches, cuts, bruises. And don't remember how or what happened, or how we even made it through for that matter!!

We are talking dense rainforest.

And Auron, I'm hearing your hangover woes. After a huge night on the piss once, I woke up and grabbed the nearest bottle of water, took a huge chug, realising mid chug it was actually vodka in the bottle, thus continuing to puke my guts up.

Keep the stories coming guys!!
 
Ahahahahah that's seriously unlucky xD

I tried this HORRIBLE shot once, called Stroh, i swear it tastes like paint stripper and it's 80 bastard percent too...actually , Ive had it 3 times, I never learn. I had 2 in a row and the night after that is blank, I woke up, sat in the passenger seat of my (other) then bf's car at 7 am on my drive...apparently I'd puked on myself too...nice :gasp:

Ugh, I just remembered when I went to Manchester and this girl that was out with us threwe u RIGHT in the middle of Weatherspoons, she TOTALLY projectiled everywhere and got us kicked out, it wasnt even late either . Good night that actually, buy one get one free.....

Ive ruined my crimbo dinner through being hungover twice - sadly, one of those drunken times was when I got with another bf.....thats easily the stupidest thing Ive ever done pissed :wacky: It was like a 3 year long hangover xD

And everytime I go to 5th ave and drink Vodka redbull, I have neon wee all day the next day o_O
 
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