[T] Final Fantasy VII Playthrough Diary

[Ilyena]

Right. I haven’t played this game in aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaages. Wtf is this? Everything is all pixelated. Widescreen + FFVII+HD = fail. Cba to hook up the PS1 though.


I forgot how much I love the opening music. Hello Loveless sign. And hello blocky Action Biggs and Jessie. Hooray for kicking the crap out of Shinra employees. Oh, how did everyone manage to get past these two soldiers?


Around the corner, team AVALANCHE are looking very suspicious and very obvious at the reactor gate. Some banter about Cloud having been in SOLDIER. And now what to name Cloud? He sort of looks like a lesbian in this picture. I’ll go with Claudine.



Hello token black character who automatically does not like me. Barrett rambles on about reactors sucking the planet dry. Cloud doesn’t care. Barrett decides they are traveling together now. What…hey! Get out of my body! D=<


Someone left a random potion on a reactor pipe. I think I’ll take it. Aaaand a battle. I should have known it was a trap. >.>


I tried to chat up Jessie but she keeps repeating the same crap about how to climb a ladder. Cloud must fail at pickup lines.


Hmm. This ladder works like stairs.



Received my Restore materia. Now to set up us the bomb. Barrett wants me to set the bomb because he doesn’t trust me. Makes perfect sense.
Cloud’s psychosis begins to reveal itself but he regains control. The guard scorpion attacks. Thank you poor translation for making me think I should attack while the tail is up.


10 minutes until detonation. Let’s mosey! Jessie is still in the same spot. Oh, turns out her leg got stuck. How the fuck? This is a perfect example of why women should not be allowed outside of the kitchen. How does one get their leg stuck while standing still? And then she trips while trying to escape the reactor.


“That should keep the planet going just a little longer.” Never mind the innocent people that died in the explosion.


Hello there, Aerith. No, I don’t want any flowers. AVALANCHE poster on the wall. Good job calling yourselves out, guys. And around the corner for battles with Shinra soldiers. Action Cloud makes quick work of them and pulls a Bruce Willis by leaping onto a moving train.


On said train, the AVALANCHE members wonder about his whereabouts until he comes swinging through the door like Tarzan. Barrett is most unimpressed. Jessie, however, makes it known that she wants in his pants.


Not surprisingly, there’s a bum sleeping on the train taking up valuable seats. I guess since no one in Midgar has money, they don’t care.



Wandering around the train car. Barrett wants Cloud to sit down and shut up. Wedge wants to know if he has a bright future. Biggs just wants to look cool and Jessie wants to tell Cloud about her fascination with explosives. Oh, and the railroad employees want him to stay in his own car.


Jessie invites Cloud to view a map of Midgar with her and we learn a bit more about the city; she then promises to make him a fake ID with love . Cloud and Barrett have an enlightening conversation about why people still live in Midgar before the train stops in Sector 7.


Some chick is being wowed by her boyfriend’s cheesy lines. A romantic night in front of the train graveyard. Huzzah!



Random guy sitting in front of the sector 7 pillar foreshadows certain events to come and then wants Cloud to look at the pillar with him ohoho. “Hey look! It’s huge, ain’t it?” Is that what she said?



Aaand time to go because Barrett is impatient. He charges into Tifa’s bar and empties it out by firing at the guests with his gun arm. Nice one.
Let’s stop and chat with the locals. Some genderless being wants to gossip about the explosions and an overexcited child is overexcited about said explosion and AVALANCHE. And Johnny loves his cocktails.


Inside of the bar, the crew is getting drunk. Marlene is behind the bar because none of these people have any parenting skills. Tifa wants to know if Cloud fought with Barrett. It depends on her definition of “fight.” If it’s physical fighting, it won’t be a lie if I select “not this time.”



Chatting up the members of AVALANCHE now. Wedge blames Tifa for his weight. Jessie complains about Cloud being excited (jealousy?) and Biggs drinks. I’m still trying to figure out how to maneuver with this controller. It’s been so long since I’ve played a game that didn’t use the analog stick. Tifa has humongous knockers and she’s shoving them in Cloud’s face.
Barrett comes in and ruins everyone’s fun. Tifa wants Cloud to have a drink. “Give me something hard!”


Tifa tries to have a heart to heart and Cloud is an insensitive jerk. Tifa asks if he’s alright and then tells him he looks a bit tired. I can just picture a “Stop being such a woman” look on his face.



On to the meeting downstairs. Barrett trains on a punching bag because his muscles just aren’t quite big enough. Jessie is proud she that she can blow up innocent people. Wedge asks Cloud if he’s too uptight. How the hell did he get hired for this job? Barrett wants to know if SOLDIER was there today. Cloud says they weren’t because these clowns would be dead otherwise. Barrett takes offense and slugs Biggs and then makes a comment about Cloud’s weight. Cloud brushes it off and brings up his paycheck. Barrett completely changes his tone.



Tifa intervenes and Barrett gives Cloud a verbal kick in the balls by saying “Let him go! He still misses the Shinra!” Cloud seems to be well offended by it. He then verbally kicks Barrett in the balls with a dig about AVALANCHE and the planet. This is not going well and he still hasn’t received his paycheck.


Cloud prepares to leave but Tifa stops him. Flashback time!


Christ! Cloud’s hair could impale someone. He could hire himself out to kid’s birthday parties and they could play horseshoes with his hair.


Flashback: Cloud waits at the well for Tifa. She shows up and he tells her about his dream to join SOLDIER and be like Sephiroth. Tifa decides now is the perfect time to use his crush on her to her advantage. “Whenever I’m in trouble, my hero will come and rescue me.” Cloud’s response: What? Tifa’s not backing down though. She wants him to promise her. Instead of saying “Get bent!”, Cloud says “Alright…..I promise.”


Back in the present, Tifa tries to hold him to that promise even though he never became famous or a hero, which he totally calls her out on. Tifa’s having none of the technicalities though. She can and will change the details of the promise as she pleases.



Barrett suddenly doesn’t believe in elevators and decides to climb the poles. He tosses some gil on the floor in front of Cloud. Cloud calls Barrett a jackass and makes him pick up the money and hand it to him. At least that’s what he should have done. Instead, he picks up the money off the floor like a wuss. Cloud thinks Barrett is trying to short him and tells him he wants more. Barrett is understandably upset since he needs money for Marlene to learn something other than bartending.


They settle on 2000 and everyone goes to sleep.



Sleeping…and then heroic music. Huzzah! Let’s kill some innocents. Tifa and Barrett are waiting upstairs. Tifa’s going this time. Barrett wants to know how to use materia (fuck you, MS Word for trying to change that to material). I’ll select “you wouldn’t understand” since I cba looking at the materia tutorial.



Aaand they leave a four year old in charge of a bar. Hooray for bad parenting.


On to shopping before the mission. 3 potions and 3 materia. I am now officially poor. I’ll skip the beginners hall. Can’t remember what’s up this ladder. Oh, some kid trying to charge me 10 gil to sleep in his bed. I’ll pass.
Saving at the beginner’s hall for now.

[FONT=&quot]3:40 into the game and I haven’t even done the second mission yet. I really need to stop wandering off and leaving the game on.[/FONT]

 

[Ilyena]

Back to playing. Onward to the train station. “Looks like this ain’t no private car so split up!” Right, like Barrett could afford a private car. A distressed Shinra manager moans about having to deal with hoodlums again. Barrett distresses him further by hovering over him and punching the seat (or him. I can’t really tell). Tifa intervenes but not before the devoted Shinra manager has wet his pants.


Cloud isn’t interested in harassing Shinra employees so he asks Barrett about the next mission. Barrett explains the situation. They are heading for the sector 5 reactor. They have to jump off the train before the security checkpoint in three minutes. Meanwhile, the same bum is sleeping on the seats.


Tifa wants to look at the railway map and she seems surprised that Cloud has already seen it. She tempts Cloud to come a little closer but their romantic map-viewing moment is interrupted. The security checkpoint arrives earlier than they expected. Clever Shinra. With the security sensors going off, they’re preparing to lock down all the cars.



The bum proves useful. Talking to him during the security alert gets me a phoenix down. Huzzah! In the next car, some asshat steals my money. I don’t have time to chase him down. At the front of the train, team AVALANCHE are in disguise and looking as suspicious as ever. Jessie wants to know if she looks good in a Shinra uniform.


Cloud, Barrett and Tifa jump from the train and head towards the reactor. A very large and very obvious security gate blocks access. Right next to it is a fairly obvious air duct which is described as “very tiny.” Since Barrett conveniently fits into Cloud’s body, it shouldn’t be a problem for him.



Ooh, free ether, ftw.


Down the ladder, up another ladder. Jessie reveals that the ID check problem was her fault since she tried to make Cloud’s ID card special. Little pink hearts and glitter special? ‘Cause I can see how that would cause suspicion. She apologizes and promises to spend her time making it up to him (no, not in that way).


Free tent right near the save point. Free battle also. I forgot to equip materia. Crap weapons with no material slots, ftl.



The rest of team useless leaves with a “We’re counting on you!” And down into the reactor, we go. I wonder what AVALANCHE’s plan was after blowing up all of the reactors.



At the reactor, Cloud has another flashback. Tifa is crying over her father’s body. “Sephiroth did this to you, didn’t he?” She then declares her hatred for all things Shinra, picks up Sephy’s sword and rushes into the reactor.


Back in the present, Barrett and Tifa are understandably concerned. Cloud says it’s nothing and commences to setting the bomb. No time limit for this one. Hooray.



Can’t leave the way I came in so up these stairs and into an elevator. I forgot about this hand key thing.


Several failed attempts later, the door opens. And I’m cut off by Shinra soldiers on the way out. “A trap?” Oh hell, yes. The Shinra theme.


President Shinra waddles out of the shadows and acts uninterested in the entire situation. Barrett is upset. Cloud tries to suck up. President Shinra verbally kicks him in the balls with a “you’re no Sephiroth” line. Barrett doesn’t want to hear about Sephiroth so he interrupts. The president gives them a snotty line about having a dinner to attend and flies off in a toy helicopter. He leaves Air Buster to finish off team AVALANCHE. Pity Airbuster is a piece of shit. After destroying him with limit breaks, he explodes leaving a large hole in the bridge.


Cloud falls in and hangs by a piece of metal. After giving the others a “Stay Strong” speech, he falls and crashes through a church ceiling. Oh hello again, Aerith.



“So we meet again,” Aerith says. After being called the slum drunk (I’m so rude), she putters around a bit more before introducing herself. I think I’ll call her Worm Food since that’s pretty much what she’ll be by the end of this disk.


Reno shows up to ruin the fun and Aerith whores herself out to Cloud for protection. He complies and after a bit of banter with Reno, they run off. Reno recognizes Cloud’s eyes as “Mako Eyes” as he tramples carelessly over the flower bed.


Chase through the rafters. I can’t remember how to push these stupid barrels. Whatever, Aerith can fight them anyway. She needs the EXP. After defeating the shape-shifting soldiers, the two escape through the roof. Outside, Cloud wonders why they’re after Aerith. She’s not giving up any information so they continue over the rooftops and towards Aerith’s house.



Ooh, save point. I think I’ll call it quits for now.

 

[Eight]

As I said before, couldn't be arsed to start again, so I took off from my last data where I was just on my way Gongaga, Cosmo Canyon technically since it's an optional.

Been doing a bit of an OCD playthrough, but that sorta died, I was planning to get everyone's limits, but that sorta went to shits when I gave up trying to get Aerith to learn her Great Gospel. Got the manual and all, but didn't get all her other limits.

But ja, I cba to retell the story, but I'm really overpowered right now so think I'm gonna speed my way through (at least till Tifa then Cid take over so everyone else can get ahead of Cloud till he rejoins, hopefully that plan won't go to shits.) I've just started Disk 2, so just leaving the Forgotten Capital. Woo.

Oh, and my main team consists of Cloud, Cid and Yuffie. I swear to god, sometimes I think it'll be worth a remake just for the possibility that they'll present an option to replace Cloud, I so want Tifa in my party right now.

 

[Eight]

I swear to god I hate getting Omnislash

That said, I've come a long way since I last bothered to update. Like, I just took out the Diamond Weapon...so ja

Anyway, I'm trying so hard to resist the call of the Sidequests (Except Chocobo Breeding, I've never been bothered about that) and failing.

Cloud has his weird moment after he OD'd on Mako (as the kids call it these days) and my suggestion to put him down was quickly put down. So instead, ran of and got Huge Materia with Team Awesome/Cid. Love that part of the game, shame it doesn't last longer, and that even though you're not literally in the rush, the story makes it feel like you should because you're in a race with Shinra, so as much as I tried to resist, instinct made me get the Materia ASAP.

Anyway, so about to tackle Midgar once I take out Ultimate Weapon...and that's after I acquire Omnislash. Battle Square...HATE.