Stealth Stalker

while the cinematics are nice at times, you seem to get bogged down too much with the need for camera movement, at the expense of pace. try to make something where the camera remains static throughout, as this will leave you free to concentrate on what is being shown on screen.
also, you need to do a lot of work on the sound design. it needs a wild track and ambient sound, as well as much better sound effects for things like footsteps and other movement. try using fades and other things like that to build layers in the sound.
and finally, the script needed at least two more re-writes, particularly on the dialogue side of things. again, you focused a bit too much on showing off with the animation and movements and didn't give enough thought to the progression of the story. why did the security robot suddenly become friendly? why did they go through the door? who was the other stealth stalker and why did it attack? what was the ring all about? it was all effect and no cause.

but despite that, it's a very (very) good attempt considering it's your first. i know the first thing i made at uni wasn't as good as that, though we thought it was the best thing any of us had ever seen at the time. just keep making things and looking for feedback and you'll see noticable improvement.
 
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