Serious So...

[Six]

Alright so... Knowing I'm not the kinda person to just blurt her personal things out. I deleted the post. I just needed a rant on how we were dealing with money problems on my side of the world... =/

Things have been improving. Thanks everyone for the nice comments.

 

[King Sean]

NOOOOOO!! Kira, dont do this to yourself. you are a great person. nobody is perfect and we all have problems. we just have to figure them out, together. we may be far apart, but you can tell me if you feel down. i know we havent known each other for long, but i feel like you are a great person with a good heart. people do like to take out their anger on other people, my mom is level 100 with that, i just walk away. sometimes when i am sad, i just laugh at myself for some dum shit i did before. i do not want to sound too chipper because my life is not perfect, no where close, maybe even worse, but you have to hang in there, for the people that care about you, for the people that believe in you, for those you helped cheer up. thank you, kira

 

[GanjaKat]

wow kira, i know EXACALLY how you feel. asshole mates, VERY tight family budget atm, works aweful, and the relationshiop im in atm, is ok, but its arguments ALOt, we split up for a week ona monthly basis =/ just not good, Times can be rough but you just gotta keep your chin up hun. There are always the lovley people here at FFF, and i know we dont know each other greatly, but like i said i know exacally how you feel so im always here to talk to (hmm.. the thought of us actually talking amuses me to no-end but i cant say why or itll give something away..mabie =/) lol..
but yeah just "always look on the bright side of life"

 

[Bambi]

Aw babaes, money issues are never good, Ive been in afew sticky spots, but things DO have away of sorting themselves out, I promise, the amounts of times Ive sat here over drawn or behind on shit, its not even funny , I'm not going to sit here and give you loads of 'advise' sometimes letting off steam and knowing people understand what you are going through is enough

With the constantly trying to 'prove yourself' thing, I completely understand that, I dont think Ive ever had a boyfriend who hasnt accused me of cheating on him, and I never bloody did either. It often made me feel like going You know what? Im getting the flack for shit I havent done CONSTANTLY, I may as WELL go do what Im being accused of

we're both better than those people. Keep your chin up, carry on doing your best, it's all you CAN do and I hope things improve for you

 

[Shu]

Well I'm sure you'll get a thousand replies on this because you are definitely liked around these parts but hear me out.

It takes a strong woman to admit her financial troubles and such. You and your mom definitely look like you could use a break from it all and take a vacation, but that's just not practical. In this area I hope for the best, tis all I can really hope for.

Now as far as people throwing labels on you and such. You need to know until the day you die, people will be people. I don't care how far you have gotten in life, how many kids you've had, how many people you have met .. you need to know that people will always judge you, always critique you and always have a rumor to spread. Don't take life so personal.

You might be down right now from all of this, but in reality you look like you just need to vent and let it all out. I can feel the frustration in your strong words, and to be honest I hope your significant other is doing his part in order to ensure you are happy day by day. Life is a struggle until the day you die, don't sugar coat it. You just need to look at it from a different vantage point to be honest. Your mom is disabled or just unable to work (or so it seems) and you are having to work and bust your ass to make a living. You have a boyfriend who maybe often times you get frustrated with, just because he might not always understand you, but trust me, us guys are there for a reason.

I know exactly what you are going through in some respects, but I will definitely hope for your financial burden to be lessened and for you and your mom to make it okay. If you ever need anything.. we are here for you. Everyone has my msn, so I don't care who really adds me as long as they respect it and know I'm at work 100% of the time when I'm on it.

So I hope your day today is better than the last, because god knows our Kira always cheers us up. Good luck, and Take care.

 

[Dionysos]

It's good to let it out, and I could sense that this has been brewing for some time. Venting your frustration should help significantly with your dealing with these issues, and we'll certainly do our best to help you.

I've actually sat here struggling (and failing) for over 3/4 of an hour trying to think of some fantastic advice for this, but I can imagine like Kelly said letting it out is a good step.

I can't really follow Shu's post with anything else significant to add as it was pretty much spot on.

About the people thing, you have to learn that not everyone can understand everyone, and others see fit to try and label and order people in their minds; write some off with a first glance. I don't know if that is similar to how the people at work are acting or not, but I understand that to have difficult people at work is not a nice experience at all.

When I was working as a waiter / barman (I only lasted 2 weeks), I pretty much had the impression that I was written off and people who were showing me around the hotel ran off (well elevatored off) and left me stranded, taking advantage of the fact that my reactions are delayed when it comes to human interaction and I hadn't read the situation that I was not meant to get out of the elevator when they said to do that.

Basically some people are twidiots who think they know everything about a person and even exploit that for their own amusement. At the workplace it is tough more than ever as you need to be there, and it isn't so easy to just walk away.

It is sad to see, and quite hurtful, though I'd probably suggest like what Shu said, accept that this is how some people are, learn how it is they view the world and if they are causing you grief, adapt yourself in their presence and learn how it is best to avoid them being like that. By adapting yourself I do not mean changing yourself, I mean to learn what makes certain people act and react and how best to avoid the situations that annoy you. (If any of that makes sense, I know it wasn't put brilliantly).


While you are a really kind and accepting person, not everyone is as accepting as that. And I think its silly that your friends are spreading rumours that you have been talking behind their backs etc, as you're one of the least-bitchyiest girls I know. In fact there isn't even an element of bitchyness within you I feel.

About the economic situation and your mother I am really sad to here that, and it must be tough. You must be some super-daughter in her eyes to support her like that through these hard times. She must be really fond and proud of you.


Lack of sleep might also be a problem at the moment for you. I know this lack of sleep is likely caused by the worrying etc, but I also know for a fact that lack of sleep can make heighten feelings of sorrow and make people more depressed, confused, and unaware of how to act to situations.


Hang in there Kira. I know it is tough but I trust that things will lighten up over time. In the meantime you know where we are, and you just continue being an amazing person.

 

[CassinoChips]

Money sucks. I say we go back to an old school barter system. That way I can pay my electric bill in delicious pies.

But yeah, situations like that are always tough. Especially when income is severely limited like that. I'm sure you know this and are doing it, but save where you can and look out for those little cost-cutting tricks.

The best way to improve your financial situation is higher education. Go to/Stay in college, get a degree, all that fun stuff. It opens the doors to a whole new slate of job openings that pay much more than minimum wage. Then you can be like the rappers and buy your moms a condo on the beach, playa. Definitely a long-term deal and not a short-term fix, but it's the way to go. Short-term, I know you're working now, but keep your eyes open for other opportunities that get you more income.

As far as the relationship, that's another ball of wax. The #1 factor that causes marriages to end up in divorce is finances. And I bet if they could study why boyfriend/girlfriend relationships fall apart, finances would be right up at the top of the list there as well. I don't know if I could give you any advice here that isn't trite and clichéd, so I'll just sy that as long as you both realize it's the money that's causing the problems, and not each other, you should be all right.

Chin up, keep plugging, all that good stuff. If all else fails, I'll put on some shoulder pads and you can go to tackletown. It's good therapy.

 

[Six]

Olol... I feel kinda stupid for making this thread now, didn't really expect so many people to comment on it.... It made me feel a hell of a lot better though guys...

Keyblade - Thanks babe, lol, even though like you said I don't know ya, I really do appreciate your friendly attitude, hun.

Kelly - Lol, you and your wicked sense for men. The boyfriend thing is something I'm not too worried about. He's a good person, and he sits through alot of my mood swings from lately. It's just hard when we clash on one thing, It's ME blowing up over it, cause I can't deal with an extra thing I'm trying to prove... I'm already trying to prove myself so badly...

Shu - you're a sweetheart really. Your comment was amazingly nice, and made me feel so much better. I really appreciate that you took the time for someone you barely know, and just sat there and wrote out that post. As far as people judging me go, I don't care all too much about that. If anything it's just something that frustrates me.

I know people will always talk, and that there's always gonna be gossip, that never has and never will bug me though. I know who I am, what I do, and that's the truth, not their twisted little minds... Labels are something I never really understood. Each person is their own. Not some brand of milk or something.


Beside that though... All in all I'm just dead worried about my mom. I couldn't care less about what happened with me, and how fucked up I'm feeling, what's just killing me is knowing she's stressed and worried... x_x And I can't do a damned thing...


Argor - Olol... Always a nice word, huh? You're a babe <3 You're always so nice to everyone, and I lol-ed at your 3/4 of an hour trying to think of some fantastic advice for this. That was sweet and funny. Olol, bitchyness is something I try to avoid. But 'cause I can't stand how girls gossip in real life, I have alot more male friends, and of course that's gonna make girls be bitches and spread nasty shit that isn't true... *Sigh* I'm not even gonna go into what they said, but what they made it sound like is not who I am at all. >.> I can't help the fact I wanna punch a girl in the face is she keeps bitching. So I guess that'd be my bitchy side Argor... Guess I do have one...

CC - I'm not gonna do that to you... I promised I wouldn't. I can keep that. My work pays decently, and by the end of the month things should be a bit better, at least I HOPE. I'm just working so much now, and I'm just drained from the lack of sleep and tired of worrying... Meh... Either way. LOL @ the condo thing.


Thank you guys so much for taking the time to actually post something on this though, I really didn't expect that many comments, really made me feel alot better today. *snugs everyone*

 

[blakstang98]

Wow, I never see you on this side of the forum LA, but I'm glad to see you hear and even more glad to try and be of some assistance.

Reading your post makes me feel awful. I wish I could be in a better position to help you out. When I was a kid, my parents had a ton of money issues as well. Because of my handicapped sister, my mother was forced to stay home and take care of her, so my father had to work 3 jobs to make ends meet. Times were so tough, that my mother would keep me out of school because she couldn't afford put gas in the car or didn't have anything to give me for lunch. They worked very hard to take care of me and my sister, and even though my mother had her hands tied with us and my father was so tired he didn't know if he was leaving the house of coming back, they battled through it and gave me and my sister a good life.

I know things are tough now, and you may be in a low point in your life right now, but things will get better. Your mother will land another job, and things will start to look up for both of you. It all seems hopeless now, but I promise you that things will come around. It takes a lot of courage to go on dealing with it, but if you keep your thoughts positive about the future, it'll give you more strength to overcome everything.

You said work is shit? Yeah, it's always shit, even if you have a job that you really like. People, whether you work with them or not, will always be judgemental. Just because you're taking a check from the government, doesn't make you a bad person. If they were in the same situation as you, they'd be taking that check as well. The only thing you can do about them is totally ignore them. If they make work that much of a burden for you, then look for a new job (but don't quit the current one unless you have another job).

For your relationship, this is the true test of how good the relationship is. If a couple can battle through the thick and thin, then they stand a chance to be together forever, happily. I'm not saying to think of your relationship as a test, but if he decides to leave you because of the issues you have going on in life, then you could do better than him. I know I sound very brash in saying that, but I'm a little sensitive to a relationship going bad when life situations get worse. Hopefully this situation won't affect your relationship in any way but make it better. You're a great gal and deserve to be with someone who's willing to make you happy no matter what life throws at you.

As for the friends, they're certainly choosing a bad time to fight with you. If they really are your friends, they'll understand your problems and be willing to be supportive, if not help you with them in some way. I wouldn't look too deeply into how your friends are acting because friends do have arguments from time to time. I'm sure they'll come around and be apologetic the next time they talk to you. I think with what you having going on in life right now, this is probably the most minor problem. You could even tell them that you need to sort your life out for the time being and to just leave you alone for now. If they're willing to be supportive, they'll let you take care of business and welcome you back with open arms.

No reason to feel like this post was useless. I know I for one am willing to support you any way I can. I always use the qoute, "nice guys finish last", because I've seen it happen to me time and time again. I'm a good person, just like you, but sometimes I can't get a break. But I do think that if you continue to do what you can to take care of yourself and your mother, you'll start to see better results. I really hope things start to look better for you soon hun.

 

[Six]

Wow, I never see you on this side of the forum LA, but I'm glad to see you hear and even more glad to try and be of some assistance.

Reading your post makes me feel awful. I wish I could be in a better position to help you out. When I was a kid, my parents had a ton of money issues as well. Because of my handicapped sister, my mother was forced to stay home and take care of her, so my father had to work 3 jobs to make ends meet. Times were so tough, that my mother would keep me out of school because she couldn't afford put gas in the car or didn't have anything to give me for lunch. They worked very hard to take care of me and my sister, and even though my mother had her hands tied with us and my father was so tired he didn't know if he was leaving the house of coming back, they battled through it and gave me and my sister a good life.

I know things are tough now, and you may be in a low point in your life right now, but things will get better. Your mother will land another job, and things will start to look up for both of you. It all seems hopeless now, but I promise you that things will come around. It takes a lot of courage to go on dealing with it, but if you keep your thoughts positive about the future, it'll give you more strength to overcome everything.

You said work is shit? Yeah, it's always shit, even if you have a job that you really like. People, whether you work with them or not, will always be judgemental. Just because you're taking a check from the government, doesn't make you a bad person. If they were in the same situation as you, they'd be taking that check as well. The only thing you can do about them is totally ignore them. If they make work that much of a burden for you, then look for a new job (but don't quit the current one unless you have another job).

For your relationship, this is the true test of how good the relationship is. If a couple can battle through the thick and thin, then they stand a chance to be together forever, happily. I'm not saying to think of your relationship as a test, but if he decides to leave you because of the issues you have going on in life, then you could do better than him. I know I sound very brash in saying that, but I'm a little sensitive to a relationship going bad when life situations get worse. Hopefully this situation won't affect your relationship in any way but make it better. You're a great gal and deserve to be with someone who's willing to make you happy no matter what life throws at you.

As for the friends, they're certainly choosing a bad time to fight with you. If they really are your friends, they'll understand your problems and be willing to be supportive, if not help you with them in some way. I wouldn't look too deeply into how your friends are acting because friends do have arguments from time to time. I'm sure they'll come around and be apologetic the next time they talk to you. I think with what you having going on in life right now, this is probably the most minor problem. You could even tell them that you need to sort your life out for the time being and to just leave you alone for now. If they're willing to be supportive, they'll let you take care of business and welcome you back with open arms.

No reason to feel like this post was useless. I know I for one am willing to support you any way I can. I always use the qoute, "nice guys finish last", because I've seen it happen to me time and time again. I'm a good person, just like you, but sometimes I can't get a break. But I do think that if you continue to do what you can to take care of yourself and your mother, you'll start to see better results. I really hope things start to look better for you soon hun.

<3 Thanks, hun. I really appreciate all that you just said. I came home from work today and saw all the replies and already felt so much better. I feel alright at the moment, now of course tomorrow is a different day, and it might be shit, or it might be okay again. But... Either way, thanks all for the support... I'm just gonna have to sit through this and do all I can. But this morning it just kinda got to my head...

 

[Estella Vanilla]

First off, I hope you feel better dear.

Secondly, what is your mom's problem with working? I'm sure there are some jobs she can do that doesn't involve being on the books... Also since she's a single parent, is your dad helping support you (this is dependent on your age)?

This may be difficult for you, but I suggest you really pick who your "real" friends are. Those are the people that are there for you even if you get sick or god forbid something terrible happens.

It's best to take other peoples opinions, that aren't good friends, with a grain of salt. Why put them before you? At the end of the day you have close friends and family and even more importantly, yourself to worry about.

I don't know you, but you should take comfort in the fact that even strangers try to make you feel better when you're down. And those strangers might even be better than people you call "friends." =P

 

[Six]

First off, I hope you feel better dear.

Secondly, what is your mom's problem with working? I'm sure there are some jobs she can do that doesn't involve being on the books... Also since she's a single parent, is your dad helping support you (this is dependent on your age)?

This may be difficult for you, but I suggest you really pick who your "real" friends are. Those are the people that are there for you even if you get sick or god forbid something terrible happens.

It's best to take other peoples opinions, that aren't good friends, with a grain of salt. Why put them before you? At the end of the day you have close friends and family and even more importantly, yourself to worry about.

I don't know you, but you should take comfort in the fact that even strangers try to make you feel better when you're down. And those strangers might even be better than people you call "friends." =P

Nah, hun. My dad's been out of the picture since I wasn't even born. My mom was pregnant, and he told her he didn't want a child, definitely not a girl. Treated her like shit to from what I've heard, so she told him he could fuck off. =/ I've seen my dad once, I was 4, I don't care to know him in all honesty. Been doing fine all these years without him.

So nah, he doesn't, never has.

My mom's just really sick, to be pretty honest I don't even know what it's called in english, I would have to look it up. She has astma, and alot of coughing and breathing problems, not REAL bad, but as bad that she can't do heavy work, or be in warm places. She's tried alot, she does something at some... Horses place now, she helps the manager out, not a real job, but she gets SOME money out of it. Not nearly enough to pay anything on it's own though. But every bit helps.

My friends I couldn't care less about right now, Im just gonna see what happens. If they wanna stick around they can, if not they can fuck off... I never gave them any reason to not trust me or anyting. So...

Eh... Thanks, you're a doll.