Shadow's Practitioner Bio

Silver Shadow

Shadow of Dreams
Veteran
Joined
Jun 5, 2008
Messages
1,252
Age
29
Location
in your shadow
Gil
0
Name

Shadow Card, commonly called Shadow

Race

Moogle. Little white creatures that have normally red pom-poms on their heads and small wings.

Gender

Male

Appearance

Looks like a normal moogle. Same body height as most, which is about 3 feet, same hair style, same weight, which is about 50 pounds at a guess, etc. Only difference is the coloring, with a grey pom-pom, black fur, and glowing dark green eyes.

Attire

Wears a black robe only usually, plus his basic magic resistant cloth and his necklace to invoke his last resort. The necklace is made of copper painted black, and in the middle it holds a jet which, if looked into, seems as if it's holding the embodiment of darkness.

Personality

Shadow is a serious kind of moogle. He takes everything seriously, and listens to what people mean instead of what they say. In battle, he talks a lot to distract his opponent.

Equipment

Shadow tends to have his weapons and armor always on hand, as well as a few of his "experimental" potions and ones that he knows what they do.

Shadow's "experimental" brand of potions: when he has time, Shadow experiments with potions that he finds in stores, various different chemicals, and his own concoctions. as such, he doesn't know what these potions do. course, nobody does, so the effects of these potions are totally random for each person and race. Shadow doesn't normally test these potions on himself, because a close encounter with a wolf caused one of these brands of potions to fall onto it, and the wolf dissolved in front of Shadow's eyes. as such, he normally tosses these at opponents.

Smoking potion: Shadow created this potion as an escape item, for when he breaks the bottle holding this potion, a smokescreen appears. he doesn't know what the liquid inside of the potion does to living beings, and he doesn't want to find out either.

Umbra elixir: an extremely restorative potion, Shadow brews this potion with the added effect of shadows, as such no one can use these but himself. not unless they want convulsions wracking their body and utterly killing them anyways. Shadow only uses these potions to heal himself, and they heal quite a bit, at a guess 75% of his total vitality. as these things are hard to brew, Shadow only carries one or two.

Darkening Winds: a securing potion, this potion summons shadow winds to surround a battlefield, forcing Shadow's foe to not get any reinforcements or flee. however, it seems to be proving ineffective at restraining powerful fighters. (RP people can flee, they just can't call reinforcements.)

Basic herb: Shadow needs herbs to brew his potions, so he tends to have a lot of them. he can restore only 5% of his vitality with them, but that 5% might make the difference between death and life.

Weaponry

Shadow wields only two weapons: a scythe forged of the shadows themselves, and a gem sword made of the blackest of all gems, jet. The scythe can do many things to people, such as blinding them or poisoning them, and can cut through to people's very soul. The scythe is as black as night, and the steel of the blade is colored the same as the wood. His sword is a bit stronger than his scythe, but it doesn't do anything other than physical damage. The gem itself was flattened enough so it could be the blade of a sword. his weapons are actually very light, allowing him to move nimbly throughout the battlefield.

Armor

His armor would be cloth made of silk and shadows. Because of the contact with shadows during the creation process, the silk became the same color as his weapons, so he can easily conceal them on his body. It is resistant to most magics, and offers a decent amount of protection from physical attacks as well. His necklace also adds to his magical resistance, as well as allowing him to enter a shadow form that is twice as powerful as his normal form. However, he only activates it as a last resort or when he extremely pissed off.

Fighting Style

Shadow, when in his normal form, takes fight as if it is a joke, something he does everyday. Whenever he encounters a powerful opponent, he becomes more serious, and as such deadly, and isn't reckless. When he is in his shadow form, he is calculating and calm, and it is almost impossible for him to be surprised or tricked. Also, when he is in shadow form, he tends to ignore all wounds on his person, except when they are very serious.

Abilities

Shadow has many abilities with his weapons. One of them, a universal weapon ability he has, is to fade into the shadows and have his shadow fight for him so he can sneak around and surprise attack his foes. Another ability, used with his scythe, is to summon a giant ball of shadow and encase the battlefield in it. It tends to blind the foes on the field and also allows Shadow to unleash a flurry of attacks without the fear of being seen too well. Also with his scythe, he can drain part of a foes soul, healing himself and damaging his foe. Usually unblockable, his soul drain ability can be blocked by someone who is very resistant to magic. With his sword, he can unleash a quick flurry of attacks from a distance with his powers over shadows. By using these shadows, he fires beams of shadows at his opponent from a distance, making his fighting a bit safer for him. Also with his sword, he can step into a shadow and reappear in another, allowing him to easily avoid attacks. Another universal ability he has is to become somebody else's shadow, fighting with their abilities and techniques.

DETAILS ABOUT ABILITYS

Shadow Fighter: Whenever Shadow doesn't feel like fighting, he has the shadows do it for him by having them assume his likeness and wielding the scythe. As the shadow fights his opponents, Shadow uses his inherent ability to walk through shadows to appear behind one of his opponents and hit them in the back. It is only half his power than normal however, since the shadows are using his shadow which contains half of his power. After he strikes, his shadow rejoins him, and Shadow is once again whole. This only drains a little from him for his vitality, as the shadows use their own energy to power this ability.

Shadow Possession: Using this power, Shadow assumes the form of his opponent, except he's colored like a shadow. During the time he does this, he can use all of his opponent's abilities and magicks that his opponent has used so far, making it a one-on-one with the opponents self. As his opponent uses new abilities and magicks, Shadow learns them and uses them against him. This drains a lot from Shadow however, as he must perfectly become his opponents shadow, with his current vitality and everything.

Umbra Orb: A rarely used ability, Shadow draws shadows in together into the form of an orb. once it has gotten big enough (over the course of actually a second) he launches it at the battlefield, encasing it in darkness and usually harming his foes by the force of the impact. While the field is encased in the shadow, Shadow unleashes multiple attacks upon his foes in the relative safety of the darkness. This move is actually quite draining, as Shadow has to move quickly in order to unleash his attacks and to conjure the orb, for the orb disappears after a limited amount of time. that time period usually varies with the time of day. If it's night time, it'll end when dawn comes. If it's day, it'll end within a minute.

Soul Drain: By using his scythe, Shadow cuts through an opponents mental forces to his soul and cuts away part of it,and, if it's successful, absorbing it to heal himself. This doesn't drain him in any way, however Shadow sees this as a breach of someone's personal thoughts. As such, this isn't an often used ability.

Shadow Strike: While wielding his jet sword, Shadow unleashes beams made of shadows that are formed like slashes at his foes at a distance. This allows him to hit his foe from multiple different angles, all the while keeping his distance from his foe. This technique, although not very draining, is one of his few ranged attacks. As it requires him to aim, there is a very brief period in between a volley of 6-10 beams. During that brief time, a smart foe could attack him.

Shadow Dance: While using this technique, Shadow walks in and out of shadows all around the battlefield, confusing his opponent and making him hard to hit. At the end of his technique, he appears behind his opponent and unleashes a flurry of attacks at his backside. This technique drains as much energy as running around the battlefield would, however it also drains his mana as he needs it to enter the shadows and come out of them very quickly.

Magic

Shadow, wishing to see his dead family and friends, decided to study necromancy shortly after the death of his village. he now knows enough to summon undead creatures to fight for him and teach him.

summon skeleton (fighter): Shadow can't fight alone, but he doesn't like to associate with people who shun the shadows more than he has to. With his study of necromancy, he found that he doesn't have to. when outnumbered, Shadow summons skeleton fighters to aid him. although powerful, this ability drains half of Shadow's magical ability, plus it's unreliable, as it doesn't work when there are no corpses nearby.

summon skeleton(archer): Shadow doesn't have any ranged attacks, which hurts his fighting ability a ton. however there are those in ages past who do use bows, so Shadow uses this to his advantage. this ability drains as much from him as the skeleton fighter and is also as unreliable.

summon magi ghost: Shadow doesn't like to rely on magicks, so he gets those who do to aid him. ghosts are nearly impossible to hit with anything but magic, so they tend to wield magic themselves, as they can't really uses physical objects. as such, magi ghosts give Shadow support. this ability is almost always a success when used, but it drains a bit more from him then when summoning skeletons.

History

Shadow is somewhat unique among moogles. When he was born, a power outage mysteriously went throughout all of the cities of the world, and it was nighttime, as such the world was encased in shadow momentarily. When he reached age six, he found that shadows seemed to follow him and he talked to them, with them being the only friend he had as other moogles avoided him due to his weird origin and the fact that he was colored like a shadow. At age ten, monsters invaded his home village, forcing all those who could fight to do so. Shadow joined those who could, as the shadows had made him a scythe and presented it to him as a gift. During the fight, he fought with his scythe and the shadows summoned creatures to help him. As the battle waged on, other moogles were killed, and as Shadow noticed this, he began to get angry. When his father fell, fatally wounded, he went berserk, and the shadows surrounded him. As they did so, Shadow felt a new power awakening within him, so he used the power and finished off the monsters that were attacking. When the monsters were only corpses on the ground, the shadows left his body, and he ran over to his father. Shadow's father saw him, and told him to protect the village. As he said this, he gave Shadow his personal sword, the gem sword forged of jet. Shadow promised to fulfill his father's wish, and continued to protect the village with the aid of the shadow. One day, when he was out hunting, he heard screams from the village. As he rushed back there, he saw men using machines to destroy the moogles and their home. Furious once more, Shadow entered his shadow form again and slew all of the men except a few which escaped. He vowed to bring justice to these men, and ever since he wandered the earth and alternate dimensions, never growing older because of the tragedy allowed the shadows to stop his aging process at that specific age, so he stayed physically fit. A little before he entered a new dimension the first time, he found a source of jet and copper. With these two metals, he forged his necklace, which held his shadow form within it. Sometime in the second dimension he entered, he stole some silk and with the silk, enhanced by his shadows, he created his robe and armor. In that same dimension, he found that there was a type of sorcery, necromancy, that could revive the dead. When he found this out, he began to study necromancy, looking for teachers across the dimensions. Shadow now knows a bit of it,enough to summon the undead and to have them fight for him and teach him, but he doesn't know enough on how to revive them. Now he just wanders all of the dimensions, seeking those who attack moogles, and killing them.



let me know if i made any mistakes on the bio and if it's accepted. also let me know if it's to long.

EDIT: ok well i have edited it now, according to what needed to change, so could you tell me how it is now.

EDIT 2: ok, i have taken away the black magic part, i can't think of any spells that haven't already been used in a game, so Shadow is going to become a necromancer. also, i am fixing the copys of FF to original ideas i came up with last night.

side note for Shadow's "experimental" brand of potions: whenever Shadow figures out what a potion does, i'll add it to his list of potions. whoever I used it against can name it if they want, i'll let them have first pick of names.
 
Last edited:
Name

Shadow Card, commonly called Shadow

Race

Moogle.
Adding a brief explanation of what a Moogle is wouldn't hurt. Still we are in a FF forum so....people should know....

Gender

Male

Appearance

looks like a normal moogle. same body height as most, same hair style, same weight,same height, etc. Only difference is the coloring, with a grey pom-pom, black fur, and glowing dark green eyes.
Even though I know what a Moogle is, you should add an specific set number for height and weight, because not all Moogles are the same.

Attire

Wears a black robe only usually, plus his basic magic resistant cloth and his necklace to invoke his last resort. The necklace is made of copper painted black, and in the middle it holds a jet which, if looked into, seems as if it's holding the embodiment of darkness.
I corrected a word or two...no big deal. So this is ok.
Personality

Shadow is a serious kind of moogle. He takes everything seriously, and listens to what people mean instead of what they say. In battle, he talks a lot to distract his opponent.

Equipment

Shadow tends to have his weapons and armor always on hand, and tends to carry a med kit sort of arrangement of items including: potions, hi-potions, echo herbs, remedies, antidotes, maiden's kiss, etc. he also keeps handy an emergency elixir to use as a last resort in combination with his necklace.
Be more specific and separate the potions and sub items from weapons and armour. Must also include the amount of heal/mana that these potions restore, as well as any other effect that they may have.
For example:

Osmana Tonic: restores 55% of a user's mana.
Weaponry

Shadow wields only two weapons: a scythe forged of the shadows themselves, and a gem sword made of the blackest of all gems, jet. the scythe can do many things to people, such as blinding them or poisoning them, and can cut through to people's very soul. his sword is a bit stronger than his scythe, but it doesn't do anything other than physical damage. his weapons are actually very light, allowing him to move nimbly throughout the battlefield.
When you create a weapon, you should add detailed information to allow the reader to have a more clearer idea of how your weapons/items look like.
Armor

his armor would be cloth made of silk and shadows. it is resistant to most magics, and offers a decent amount of protection from physical attacks as well. his necklace also adds to his magical resistance, as well as allowing him to enter a shadow form that is twice as powerful as his normal form. however, he only activates it as a last resort or when he extremely pissed off.
Use capital letters when starting each sentence please.

Also be more detailed, same suggestion as I did with the weapons' section.
Fighting Style

Shadow, when in his normal form, takes fight as if it is a joke, something he does everyday. whenever he encounters a powerful opponent, he becomes more serious, and as such deadly, and isn't reckless. when he is in his shadow form, he is calculating and calm, and it is almost impossible for him to be surprised or tricked. also, when he is in shadow form, he tends to ignore all wounds on his person, except when they are very serious.
OK...
Abilities

Shadow has many abilities with his weapons. one of them, a universal weapon ability he has, is to fade into the shadows and have his shadow fight for him so he can sneak around and surprise attack his foes. another ability, used with his scythe, is to summon a giant ball of shadow and encase the battlefield in it. it tends to blind the foes on the field and also allows Shadow to unleash a flurry of attacks without the fear of being seen too well. also with his scythe, he can drain part of a foes soul, healing himself and damaging his foe. usually unblockable, his soul drain ability can be blocked by someone who is very resistant to magic. with his sword, he can unleash a quick flurry of attacks from a distance with his powers over shadows. by using these shadows, he fires beams of shadows at his opponent from a distance, making his fighting a bit safer for him. also with his sword, he can step into a shadow and reappear in another, allowing him to easily avoid attacks.
Separate each ability and explain it individually. Also be more specific. Must add action cost (how much energy you spend) in terms of stamina and mana for each ability.
Magic

Shadow tends to wield only one type of magick: black magick. as he found that some enemies could be killed easier with magic, he studied black magick, and is now a master of it. he also dabbled a bit in white magic to learn healing spells, which he added shadows to so his spells would only heal him, and he also studied necromancy so undead and ghosts could be benefited by his shadows. as such, he is now a master necromancer and can order the living dead around and summon them to aid him in fighting.
This paragraph belongs to more History. Please, be more detailed when describing magic...
History

shadow is somewhat unique among moogles. when he was born, a power outage mysteriously went throughout all of the cities of the world, and it was nighttime, as such the world was encased in shadow momentarily. when he reached age six, he found that shadows seemed to follow him and he talked to them, with them being the only friend he had as other moogles avoided him due to his weird origin and the fact that he was colored like a shadow. at age ten, monsters invaded his home village, forcing all those who could fight to do so. Shadow joined those who could, as the shadows had made him a scythe and presented it to him as a gift. during the fight, he fought with his scythe and the shadows summoned creatures to help him. as the battle waged on, other moogles were killed, and as Shadow noticed this, he began to get angry. when his father died, he went berserk, and the shadows surrounded him. as they did so, Shadow felt a new power awakening within him, so he used the power and finished off the monsters that were attacking. when the monsters were only corpses on the ground, the shadows left his body, and he ran over to his father. Shadow's father saw him, and told him to protect the village. as he said this, he gave Shadow his personal sword, the gem sword forged of jet. Shadow promised to fulfill his father's wish, and continued to protect the village with the aid of the shadows. as he grew older, he studied magic and necromancy, and at age 30, he became a master of both. one day, when he was out hunting, he heard screams from the village. as he rushed back there, he saw men using machines to destroy the moogles and their home. Furious once more, Shadow entered his shadow form again and slew all of the men except a few which escaped. he vowed to bring justice to these men, and ever since he wandered the earth and alternate dimensions, never growing older because of the tragedy allowed the shadows to stop his aging process at that specific age, so he stayed physically fit. a little before he entered a new dimension the first time, he found a source of jet and copper. with these two metals, he forged his necklace, which held his shadow form within it. sometime in the second dimension he entered, he stole some silk and with the silk, enhanced by his shadows, he created his robe and armor. now he just wanders all of the dimensions, seeking those who attack moogles, and killing them.
Nice story, just make some grammar corrections...that's all.



Overall: Biography requires some adjustments in several sections. Once revised by the RP Section Moderators, they will decide whether to approve this biography, or not.

If you want to have a clearer idea of what I've been suggesting, just take a look at one of the approve biographies, mine for example.

Here's one I made recently: http://www.finalfantasyforums.net/battle-hardened/julius-aurelius-bios-8008-page5.html#post378114
 
Thank you for your critique, Julius. You pretty much covered everything I would have suggested.

Shadow Mage, I highly recommend that you follow Julius' suggestions, in order to receive approval, since the points that he brought up, or issues that I also agree with.

If you need extra assistance with your bio, please let me know.
 
Name

Shadow Card, commonly called Shadow

Race

Moogle. Little white creatures that have normally red pom-poms on their heads and small wings.

Gender

Male

Appearance

Looks like a normal moogle. Same body height as most, which is about 3 feet, same hair style, same weight, which is about 50 pounds at a guess, etc. Only difference is the coloring, with a grey pom-pom, black fur, and glowing dark green eyes.

Attire

Wears a black robe only usually, plus his basic magic resistant cloth and his necklace to invoke his last resort. The necklace is made of copper painted black, and in the middle it holds a jet which, if looked into, seems as if it's holding the embodiment of darkness.

Personality

Shadow is a serious kind of moogle. He takes everything seriously, and listens to what people mean instead of what they say. In battle, he talks a lot to distract his opponent.

Equipment

Shadow tends to have his weapons and armor always on hand, and tends to carry a med kit sort of arrangement of items including: potions, hi-potions, echo herbs, remedies, antidotes, maiden's kiss, etc. He also keeps handy an emergency elixir to use as a last resort in combination with his necklace.

potion: restores 25% of max hp
hi-potion: restores 55% of max hp
echo herbs: cures silence
remedies: cures all but zombie
antidote: cures poison
maiden's kiss: cures toad
elixir: full recovery of target, including mana.

Weaponry

Shadow wields only two weapons: a scythe forged of the shadows themselves, and a gem sword made of the blackest of all gems, jet. The scythe can do many things to people, such as blinding them or poisoning them, and can cut through to people's very soul. The scythe is as black as night, and the steel of the blade is colored the same as the wood. His sword is a bit stronger than his scythe, but it doesn't do anything other than physical damage. The gem itself was flattened enough so it could be the blade of a sword. his weapons are actually very light, allowing him to move nimbly throughout the battlefield.

Armor

His armor would be cloth made of silk and shadows. Because of the contact with shadows during the creation process, the silk became the same color as his weapons, so he can easily conceal them on his body. It is resistant to most magics, and offers a decent amount of protection from physical attacks as well. His necklace also adds to his magical resistance, as well as allowing him to enter a shadow form that is twice as powerful as his normal form. However, he only activates it as a last resort or when he extremely pissed off.

Fighting Style

Shadow, when in his normal form, takes fight as if it is a joke, something he does everyday. Whenever he encounters a powerful opponent, he becomes more serious, and as such deadly, and isn't reckless. When he is in his shadow form, he is calculating and calm, and it is almost impossible for him to be surprised or tricked. Also, when he is in shadow form, he tends to ignore all wounds on his person, except when they are very serious.

Good so far, but you could use original names for your potions since taking them from FF games makes your biography lack originality. You can base your creations on them, but you can't completely copy them identically.

Abilities

Shadow has many abilities with his weapons. One of them, a universal weapon ability he has, is to fade into the shadows and have his shadow fight for him so he can sneak around and surprise attack his foes. Another ability, used with his scythe, is to summon a giant ball of shadow and encase the battlefield in it. It tends to blind the foes on the field and also allows Shadow to unleash a flurry of attacks without the fear of being seen too well. Also with his scythe, he can drain part of a foes soul, healing himself and damaging his foe. Usually unblockable, his soul drain ability can be blocked by someone who is very resistant to magic. With his sword, he can unleash a quick flurry of attacks from a distance with his powers over shadows. By using these shadows, he fires beams of shadows at his opponent from a distance, making his fighting a bit safer for him. Also with his sword, he can step into a shadow and reappear in another, allowing him to easily avoid attacks. Another universal ability he has is to become somebody else's shadow, fighting with their abilities and techniques.
The underlined part must have a very large amount of cost if you are saying you can copy anyone's abilities, which wouldn't be fair for other role players.

DETAILS ABOUT ABILITYS

Shadow Fighter: Whenever Shadow doesn't feel like fighting, he has the shadows do it for him by having them assume his likeness and wielding the scythe. As the shadow fights his opponents, Shadow uses his inherent ability to walk through shadows to appear behind one of his opponents and hit them in the back. It is only half his power than normal however, since the shadows are using his shadow which contains half of his power. After he strikes, his shadow rejoins him, and Shadow is once again whole. This only drains a little from him for his vitality, as the shadows use their own energy to power this ability.

Shadow Possession: Using this power, Shadow assumes the form of his opponent, except he's colored like a shadow. During the time he does this, he can use all of his opponent's abilities and magics, making it a one-on-one with the opponents self. This drains a lot from Shadow however, as he must instantly memorize his opponents techniques and magics so he won't be caught off guard by his opponent.
There's something I don't like about the underlined ability. You are saying you can, literally, copy all of your opponent's abilities, and does that mean all regardless of not seeing them? That wouldn't be fair for anyone, so I guess you should consider editing this ability. How about adding a requirement, like having Shadow witness an opponent's skill first before copying it. Also note that it shouldn't be an identical copy, but just like learning 3/4 of the ability.


Shadow Orb: A rarely used ability, Shadow draws shadows in together into the form of an orb. once it has gotten big enough (over the course of actually a second) he launches it at the battlefield, encasing it in darkness and usually harming his foes by the force of the impact. While the field is encased in the shadow, Shadow unleashes multiple attacks upon his foes in the relative safety of the darkness. This move is actually quite draining, as Shadow has to move quickly in order to unleash his attacks and to conjure the orb, for the orb disappears after a limited amount of time. that time period usually varies with the time of day. If it's night time, it'll end when dawn comes. If it's day, it'll end within a minute.
Remember that is up to the role player to decide whether or not he/she will allow you to trap him/her within the orb.
Soul Drain: By using his scythe, Shadow cuts through an opponents mental forces to his soul and cuts away part of it, absorbing it to heal himself. This doesn't drain him in any way, however Shadow sees this as a breach of someone's personal thoughts. As such, this isn't an often used ability.
Always add "if successful the attack will cause..."
Shadow Strike: While wielding his jet sword, Shadow unleashes beams made of shadows that are formed like slashes at his foes at a distance. This allows him to hit his foe from multiple different angles, all the while not allowing his foe to counter. This technique, although not very draining, is one of his few ranged attacks. As it requires him to aim, there is a very brief period in between a volley of 6-10 beams.
Sorry, but this ability is overpowered. You can not take away the chance to counter attack from anyone, because it would cause you to break the rule of "God Modding" (controlling anyone's character) and Powerplaying (making an ability too strong to be countered)

Shadow Dance: While using this technique, Shadow walks in and out of shadows all around the battlefield, confusing his opponent and making him hard to hit. At the end of his technique, he appears behind his opponent and unleashes a flurry of attacks at his backside. This technique drains as much energy as running around the battlefield would, however it also drains his mana as he needs it to enter the shadows and come out of them very quickly.
Good as long as you give the role player the chance to decide whether or not they will allow themselves to be harmed by this technique.

Magic

Shadow is a master of black magic, wielding the top spells of it such as meteor, comet, firaga, thundaga, and doom while only draining a little of his power to cast these magics. During the course of his studies, he discovered a creature that also shuns white magic: the undead warrior skeletons and magic using ghosts. Discovering this, he decided to also master necromancy, and is now traveling the dimensions with two goals: to find a teacher of necromancy, and to kill those who were responsible for the death of his family and friends.
You are just taking the spells from FF games, which is not usually what we (advisers) are wanting roleplayers (like you) to aim for. A role player should usually aim to originality, and I understand that, while it is hard, it is not completely hard to achieve. Think about original names for your spells, and try to focus on those you are interested in. I usually never create more spells than I am willing to use in a RP, because then it would encase me to the boundaries of the biography itself, and thus it would restrain my creativity. An RP biography is supposed to be a guide to allow us to understand and have a clearer idea of who your character is, what he can do, and how does he looks.

My advise, think of three basic spells you would like to use, work in them and try to be as descriptive as possible. Include details such as spell range, area effect, energy consumption, and (not necessary though) elemental alignment.

And most important of all, use original names, (or at least names that most people wouldn't recognize).

Remember that one of the rules we have is that a role player should never use an identical element (by elements I mean weapons, armours, spells, items, etc) from Final Fantasy Games.

You can though, base your equipment, abilities, and spells from them. For example, let's say I want to use a gunblade, and of course I should keep in mind that my sword should never be identical to any of Squall's many gunblades, although they can be slightly similar, but never the same.
The same works with the rest.

I will not evaluate the History section because I already mentioned it had an OK.
 
After looking it over, I do agree with most things already pointed out. There really isn't anything I can see that is necessary to change, I'd just suggest reading it through a few times yourself, as there are parts where things are worded strangely or repetitive.

Shadow, when in his normal form, takes fight as if it is a joke, something he does everyday. Whenever he encounters a powerful opponent, he becomes more serious, and as such deadly, and isn't reckless. When he is in his shadow form, he is calculating and calm, and it is almost impossible for him to be surprised or tricked. Also, when he is in shadow form, he tends to ignore all wounds on his person, except when they are very serious.

I'd definitely take the time to reword this entire paragraph, for example. Everything said could be put in better words.
 
Just as a note to those posting in this thread:

These threads will be restricted to the RP Mods and Mentors only, for future critiques, but, since the Mentor Program has not been officially set-up yet, you guys can comment in here.

I just wanted it to be known that in the future, only those permitted can comment.

shadow mage:
It seems that your biggest challenges to face will be your grammar, and your vocabulary. You are young, so I do realize this might be rather difficult for you, but you have plenty of potential. I think just practicing good grammar [such as capitalizing the first letter of every sentence and proper nouns], will help out the presentation of your RPing a great deal. I would also recommended using an online thesaurus, such as the one on dictionary.com, to help broaden your vocabulary. When I was 13, I would go to a thesaurus and jot down all of the different words I could substitute into some of my overused words. For example:

For the color 'blue,' the thesaurus helped me to learn words such as: azure, cerulean, crystalline, clear, oceanic, sky, etc.
 
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