Twilight Sky
Blue Mage
I'm quite miserable and was for years actively looking for a way to turn this all around. I can say that I don't really have anyone I can relate to, or can talk to on a regular basis. I don't have a phone - no one to call, and no one to call me. I dont have more than 4 people on my facebook friendlist, all of which don't bother unless I initiate - which my primary problem; I have to initiate everything, and what happens is, I burn out, and then there is nothing. I never hear from the person again. It is maddening, you have no idea. I have regular bouts with the urge to commit suicide, always having to refortify my mind against these urges; Truly I have no reason to live, but I wanna stick around..if that makes sense.
I don't complain to anyone, over and over again, and I'm not a party pooper. I love to make people laugh, but I haven't been able to do that lately, especially online where people jump in social circles and are unwilling to make new friends outside of it. I have been on the receiving end of advice and at this point I don't wont anymore advice. I just want to be treated like a friend. To matter to someone.
I used to randomly PM people on forums, hoping for a spark, but nothing has surfaced. Nothing in 3 years.
Girlfriends? None, and I've done plenty asking out.
After all the things I've done but no positive results, I decided it was time to stop fighting and stop hoping. It is not healthy for me. Whatever happens..happens..
Not everyone is miserable because they chose to be. You have control of everything in your life, except one thing.. . You can't force people to be your friend. And you can't force mutual friendships.
I don't mind that others complain over and over again..because that's who I am, I am a listener. Hell my observation skills are seemingly fine toned to hone on the suffering. I'll notice them before half you in this thread will. All the people who has shitty lives I've met in the past..have gone on to have better lives years later. One in particular was a girl who was like a sister to me. Now she's married and happier than she was when she was 13(23 now). But we don't talk anymore. I have more examples of that.
The worse kind of people though, and I've met these more often than I want to, is how they exaggerate their misery to gain your attention, and then brush you off when one of their friends come online. For a person like me, that really really hurts.
You happy people, you better not take your good lives for granted. Cause one day it might all go away.
I don't complain to anyone, over and over again, and I'm not a party pooper. I love to make people laugh, but I haven't been able to do that lately, especially online where people jump in social circles and are unwilling to make new friends outside of it. I have been on the receiving end of advice and at this point I don't wont anymore advice. I just want to be treated like a friend. To matter to someone.
I used to randomly PM people on forums, hoping for a spark, but nothing has surfaced. Nothing in 3 years.
Girlfriends? None, and I've done plenty asking out.
After all the things I've done but no positive results, I decided it was time to stop fighting and stop hoping. It is not healthy for me. Whatever happens..happens..
Not everyone is miserable because they chose to be. You have control of everything in your life, except one thing.. . You can't force people to be your friend. And you can't force mutual friendships.
I don't mind that others complain over and over again..because that's who I am, I am a listener. Hell my observation skills are seemingly fine toned to hone on the suffering. I'll notice them before half you in this thread will. All the people who has shitty lives I've met in the past..have gone on to have better lives years later. One in particular was a girl who was like a sister to me. Now she's married and happier than she was when she was 13(23 now). But we don't talk anymore. I have more examples of that.
The worse kind of people though, and I've met these more often than I want to, is how they exaggerate their misery to gain your attention, and then brush you off when one of their friends come online. For a person like me, that really really hurts.
You happy people, you better not take your good lives for granted. Cause one day it might all go away.
