Mary-Sue

Shenorai

Shenorai

The Spiritcaller
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If this needs to be elsewhere, feel free to move it, for I am unsure if this should be in the character biography section or not.

For those who don't know what a Mary-Sue is, it's essentially a character that is far too perfect and well liked to be an actual character, even in other-world contexts.

I'd like to see how you guys' characters worked out. <!--emo&:P-->
tongue.gif
<!--endemo--> Let's see if they're too perfect.

http://www.onlyfiction.net/marysue.html

And be honest with yourself. This test can help you better develop characters that you have or may create later.
 
Shenorai said:
Shenorai Eterna scores 85... or 65, if you don't include the username question.

...does anyone else see her as a Mary-Sue? 'cause I certainly don't.
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To me, well, it's a standard bio. There's nothing original about it. =X.

All of it looks as though it was stated before, like it is just clipped from other bios and smashed together in one. That's my opinion, however.
 
I scored a 29 with Kiba. If I changed his name it'd be down to like 25 =/
 
Eh, oh well. Try to be original and it turns out, there's something similar popping up from somewhere. (I've had that happen with my username before...luckily, I've had it longer than those other people)
 
Hmm I got a 61. ^_^
81 if you want to count the username, but I changed my username after I created my character. ^_^
 
Lethryn Malchord:

+ Is the character's name a noun or adjective not normally used as a name? [2 points] (I figured Malchord counts. It’s pretty cheesy ^_^).

+ Does the character have a name you really, really like? [1 point] (I sure recycle it like I really, really like it =P)

+ Does the character have unusual or exceptional hair, or does her/his hair get a disproportionate amount of description compared to that of the other characters? [3 points] (Definitely. I was inspired to make up an unusual hairstyle. What makes this Mary sue, though?)

+ Does the character dress in a manner you find particularly attractive, sexy, or cool? [1 point] (Armor is always in style!!....When you’re worried about getting stabbed, anyways.)

+ Is the character of above average intelligence? [1 point] (Probably a little, though he’s also pretty ignorant.)

+ Was the character ever forcibly banished from her/his family/tribe/country/etc.? [3 points] (Yeah, though he can come back any time he wants. It’s more an expulsion for his own sake.)

+ Does the character consider her/his beauty/talent/skill/etc. a curse? [3 points] (Leth does work as a warrior because that’s what he’s good at, but he wishes he could trade his abilities in combat for talent at invention. That might count, so I’ll include it here.)

+ Does the character have a special birthmark or other marking? [4 points] (Ummm...yeah. A third eye socket drilled into the forehead HAS to count here.)

+ Does the character hold your dream job? [3 points] (Hell yeah! I wish I could hunt beasts and men with a big ass sword for money!)

+ A mercenary? [1 point] (Well, he’s ABOUT to be one.)

+ Does the character have what you consider better or more refined taste than you have in music? [1 point]
+ In books? [1 point] (Well, given that I feel EVERYONE has better taste in music and books than me... =P)

+ Do you ever wish you could be like the character? [4 points] (Sword, Rizitian sorcery, and the ability (and capacity) to kill monsters? Check ^_^. Being 15 (not again!) and completely ignorant, alone, and aimless in a foreign land. No check :sad2:.)

Being generous, that’s about 28. I learned a lot of things about what it means to be a Mary Sue that I hadn’t realized were apart of the equation. Good to know, I guess.

P.S. Shenorai is not a Mary Sue.
 
Surpringly Ku who I had planned to be a cliché shounen anime main character only get's 20 points. If I had made him more skilled he would have ranked a lot higher but he only has a few powers which amount to most of his rating.
I even counted his hair as extraordinairy because it's red though he's from Japan.

Shenorai said:
Shenorai Eterna scores 85... or 65, if you don't include the username question.

...does anyone else see her as a Mary-Sue? 'cause I certainly don't.
Click to expand...

I haven't read through your entire Bio but several parts of it seems Mary Sueish.
One of the best Mediums since age of 8? Troubled childhood? Trained herself to fight at the age of 14? (female) bounty hunter at age 15?

If you take the Mary Sue test and get an high score be sure to take seperate tests for both parts of the character not one test for both (if you do I would extract 25% of the total score and take that as your final score instead).

And don't worry if the test still claims you are a Mary Sue, I've seen plenty of characters that could have had a high Mary Sue rating but were really good character with lots of original parts to it.
Which brings me to something else, if I were too write a Mary Sue test I wouldn't make it like this. Though the part for names is rather important Mary Sue factor 20 points is a bit much (though most often self named characters are Mary Sues). And when I was an RP mod on an other forum I used too look at original parts rather then the unoriginal ones.
In the case of your character I would approve it with an advice on her choice of weaponry. For someone who is supposedly good at long range combat she has a strange choice of weaponry. A normal shotgun is already not a weapon a armsman would use for long distance shots sawing the barrel off it only going to decrease it's ranged capability's. I would advice using a hunting rifle for long range and keep the shotgun for short distance attacks (shotguns at close range are very lethal and hard to dodge since yours is sawed-off it also won't get in the way when fighting in melee)
 
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What a rubbish test. It seems to imply that you can't do anything with your character whatsoever that would make them remotely interesting if it doesn't please them.


+Is the character named after you (this includes your first, middle, and last names, and any nicknames or online names you use)? [20 points]
Yes. It's not a crime is it? I liked the name "Rulia", and so I thought about creating a bio for her, just for fun, and I liked how it was created. The first bio anyway and original story, is the one I am basing this test on. The 2nd, is not something I use often.

+ Does the character have a name you really, really like? [1 point]
Yes.


+ Is the character highly attractive? [3 points]
[Add only 1 point if the character has to work hard to maintain her/his physical beauty.]

^ Note that I did not get the points for this, as I do not look at my character and comment on her physical appearance, as it's not an issue.

+ Does the character dress in a manner you find particularly attractive, sexy, or cool? [1 point]
She dresses in Magister armour which I think is "cool". She's an original design for an FFXII character.


+ Is the character of above average intelligence? [1 point]
She knows a lot about politics and the Empire thanks to her father teaching her what he knew, so yes.


+ Is the character related to royalty or nobility? [4 points]
She is yes, though I have yet to fully decide her status.

+ And does she/he still retain a trinket of some kind from her/his past? [4 points]
She has a necklace/locket that was given to her, but she abandoned it.


+ Does the character have an angsty childhood, or an angsty past? [1 point]
In a way yes, but she does not let it get to her.


+ Does the character have angst in the present? [1 point]
Currently, as she still has trouble trying to overcome a difficult event which happened a while ago, but it's not her past life problems, something more recent. She did get over it eventually, learned to move on. So I could actually take this point away..


+ Did the character ever suffer physical or emotional abuse [2 points]
Yes, from her father.

+ Is the character unusually accomplished for her/his age/species/etc.? [2 points]
She had received special training different to those of lesser judges

+ Does the character have an accent relative to her/his country of residence? [1 point]
Well of course, she was born and raised Archadian..

+ In books? [1 point]
She likes fantasy based and History books, as well as Politics (Politics however isn't something I like)


+ Has everyone significant heard of the character? [2 points]
In my story anyway, everyone knows who she is. The significant characters anyway. Not everyone in the whole wide world like..

+ Did they all like/respect/fear her/him from the beginning? [1 point]
Her character is what attracted everyone anyway - she's likeable.


+ Do you draw the character, or ask other people to draw her/him for you, more often than any of your other characters? [2 points]
I like to the draw the character, purely for fun, to improve my skills in general with drawing, or to provide imagery for my story to work on.

+ Is the character someone you would want to be friends with, assuming she/he would be receptive to friendship with you? [1 point]
Lol, why not? Sure, I'd like to be friends with her.

+ Do you have a character journal for her/him? [4 points]
I am taking this in the way that the journal is used to update the progress of my character, change things, improve her background etc.


I got 29..so..

21-35 points: Borderline-Sue. Your character is cutting it close, and you may want to work on the details a bit, but you're well on your way to having a lovely original character. Good work.

I take it these guys are professionals, otherwise, what they mean is bull. :cool:
I can take criticism, don't get me wrong, but I worked on this character a lot.



 
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You based your character directly on a game character so yeah the chances of it scoring high on the mary sue test are really big. (I'm surprised that it's only 29)
 
...oh...forgot about that..I'l go post my bio(straight from ACF) and see your opinions...p.s. Kaos-Xis from my stories I've been writing(and still haven't gotten comments on) nut some of the info was forcibly changed due to a rule L made that all characters can't have ANYTHING WHAT SO EVER unoriginal in their story...hence why it may be a teeny bit tough to understand...
 
Drachnon said:
You based your character directly on a game character so yeah the chances of it scoring high on the mary sue test are really big. (I'm surprised that it's only 29)
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I'm sorry? I created her thank you very much. Though the world is FFXII based, she isn't a GAME character thanks. You don't see her in game, she comes from an Alternate Universe. You think I should have scored more hm? How? I didn't give her magical powers, and all that crap, so no, my score doesn't deserve to be any higher :dry:
 
Thanks for the correction and yes I did sort of asume that the character was from the game though I haven't finished the game nor remember any of the judges names. Sorry about that.
 
Don't worry about it. I don't mind criticism, I just don't like people getting the wrong end of the stick. Also doesn't help with the fact that today I'm quite ill, and it's making my temper worser then usual. Sorry on my behalf.
 
This test is absolute garbage. Having a slightly interesting character is a crime in their eyes. No one wants to write about a TOTALLY average character, and no one wants to read about one.

Mine, since I'm still converting him to the format of this site, Isaak Vist, scored a 19...he gains 6 instantly from his eyes, since they have black scleras and white pupils, which are actually explained by that fact that he did that to himself on purpose. Then there's the 5 from the magical powers, which could well be 10 if I counted them as 2 each instead of 1.
 
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