Serious In need of advice

[Steve-O]

so, i'm in need of a bit of advice on a few areas, but mostly aiming at my anger and how to deal with stress, and with everything that is going on around me at the moment

so, the problem is stress, as I have a form of autism, I struggle to deal with change, not just that but i seem to not be able to deal with stressful situations either. atm there huge stress in my family, my brother got dianozed with cancer a few weeks ago (he has a brain tumor) and everything in my house has become soo stressful, not only that but also my girlfriend is having her own problems with her granddad. and I just keep stressing out at everybody, losing my temper with people for no reason at all. and this is starting to get to people like my girlfriend, brother and my mum. also recently everytime something bad happens during the day that night I have a bad dream about that person, say for example I have a bad dream about my girlfriend if we have a argument.

what i'm asking for advice on is really a way to deal with my stress, i'm starting to push people away, or people are just starting to not like me anymore, me and my girlfriend almost spilt up twice now over this, I just don't know if my mind is in the right frame of mind for stuff like relationship[s right now, i'm worried about what going to happen with my brother, but i don't want to lose my family or my girlfriend, but it feels like i'm pushing her away because of me getting angry because of how stressed i am all the time over other stuff i'm just soo frighten of what going to happen to my brother, and about losing the one person other than my family that cares about me, i'm pushing her away because i'm getting stressed out all the time over stupid stuff, i really don't know how to deal with anything atm, and it upsetting me soo badly HELP ME

 

[Bambi]

My biggest coping mechanism has always been my art, its not really a solution to your problems, but something like art (or anything else you can get stuck into) that requires your full concentrtion will certainly help. It's something I can use to channel my frustration through, if something is annoying me in life, then when Im getting annoyed at something Im trying to create, in its place, kinda helps.

Talking about it helps too, when Ive been utterly pissed off like fuck about something, Ive ranted about it (either via a good irl rant, or rage typing online), and it's always made me feel better. Either way, I alwyas find a good vent about whatever it is helps too, just do it at someone impartial, or it defeats the object.

 

[saajuk]

You know when you experience alot of a certain emotion, like stress for example, you start to find ways yourself on how best to coop. Imo just simply accept that your life is not going the way you want it too right now and dont stress over the things you cant change. Ive experienced many times when I thought my life would not get any better because of the changes that where happening around me and it caused my daily life to become stressful but eventually as time passed everything just seemed to work itself out. Even though I say to accept the bad along with the good, I know its not easy to actually do, but in the end you will realize that all that stress and worry didnt do you any good at all.


Like the above poster said, do something you enjoy and keep your mind busy.

 

[NeoTesseract]

so, i'm in need of a bit of advice on a few areas, but mostly aiming at my anger and how to deal with stress, and with everything that is going on around me at the moment

so, the problem is stress, as I have a form of autism, I struggle to deal with change, not just that but i seem to not be able to deal with stressful situations either. atm there huge stress in my family, my brother got dianozed with cancer a few weeks ago (he has a brain tumor) and everything in my house has become soo stressful, not only that but also my girlfriend is having her own problems with her granddad. and I just keep stressing out at everybody, losing my temper with people for no reason at all. and this is starting to get to people like my girlfriend, brother and my mum. also recently everytime something bad happens during the day that night I have a bad dream about that person, say for example I have a bad dream about my girlfriend if we have a argument.

what i'm asking for advice on is really a way to deal with my stress, i'm starting to push people away, or people are just starting to not like me anymore, me and my girlfriend almost spilt up twice now over this, I just don't know if my mind is in the right frame of mind for stuff like relationship[s right now, i'm worried about what going to happen with my brother, but i don't want to lose my family or my girlfriend, but it feels like i'm pushing her away because of me getting angry because of how stressed i am all the time over other stuff i'm just soo frighten of what going to happen to my brother, and about losing the one person other than my family that cares about me, i'm pushing her away because i'm getting stressed out all the time over stupid stuff, i really don't know how to deal with anything atm, and it upsetting me soo badly HELP ME

Everyone usually has a very personal way to deal with the stress.

If you feel very stressed by certain situations, don't keep it bottled in. Talk to your mom, and your girlfriend, let them know that you are going through hard times but that you really love them
and that you feel horrible if you ever did anything to push them away. I am very sure that they will understand and even share their feelings of stress related to your situation (stressful situations
can and usually trigger a chain of stress, family members and loved ones being the links affected). That will definitely relieve any tension in your life and in your household.

You can hang with your bro, make him feel loved, help him forget that he is sick. Happiness is a great placebo medicine.

Also, when in stressful situations, do something productive.

Someone mentioned art, which is fine, however exercise is a MUCH better stress reliever.

Your body releases endorphin during and after exercise, which are a natural stress reliever.

Play sports, I play soccer and lift weights as a stress reliever.

You can complement that with other activities:

You can read, write, draw, and even play videogames.

Although outdoor activities such as playing sports are GREATLY preferred over videogames in such situations.

Keep your body happy, and your mind occupied.

 

[Squid]

I am sure you have already but you could try to talk to your girlfriend about why you're getting mad (obviously she knows it's coz your brother is sick) but maybe explain to her that you don't mean to get mad, that you love her very much but you're so stressed right now that you can't help acting out, then you could ask her if she has any ideas on how you can both deal with it together, perhaps you could work out something like if you're getting really stressed you just stop the conversation and leave the room for 5 minutes I dunno, but I reckon work it out together with her

Do you have a hobby? You can use that to relieve stress. Or maybe playing a fun easy lighthearted video game for a few min just to lower your stress levels might help if you're into that kind of thing

It's really upsetting when a friend of family member suffers an illness like that, you feel helpless and you don't know how to help and it just gets stressful, I think people need to understand that you're going to get mad (specially because you have your own problems as well which doesn't help) but at the same time you need to understand that everyone else is upset too, it's really great that you're trying to find a way to stop lashing out though. I hope you find something that works for you.

I am very sorry to hear about your brother