I Love You

Lirael said:
These are words are don't often say. I feel they have little meaning nowadays 'cause people say them so often. "I love you". Eh, it can be said to anyone. You can say it to someone you've just met if they make you laugh, in a jokey way, meaning you love their sense og humour. Granted, not many would say it to someone they've just met, but some would.

I don't say it to my family, I say it to my friends without meaning, and I said it to my boyfriends 'cause anything else would've been strange. In truth, I never feel what the words express. Love for a friend is something different to what the words were once used for so I feel wrong using it then. The words aren't special enough for a wonderful boyfriend/partner. They don't sound right because they put the feeling down.

But, tbh, I've never experienced this thing call love. My recent ex said it to me. He even said he was in love, something I see to have more meaning. But he dumped me a week after asking me out, despite apparently loving me for 6 months(ish). Another week later and he had a new girlfriend. Love. Pah! Even liars use it.

So few even know what "love" is. After everything with my ex (he's messed me around three times now), I find that my feelings have almost faded entirely. I think about him from time to time still, as you can see from this post, but I don't long to be with him anymore. How can I say I ever loved him? I can't have done, can I? Maybe as a friend. Maybe I just loved to laugh. But I used the words 'cause he made me happy then. Now he doesn't. Now I wouldn't think about using them. I just long to know the answers to my questions. Why did he even ask me out a third time? Why did he spend money coming to see me? Did he dump me FOR this closer gf? If so, he lied to me. I believe he did. No one asks out a customer at work if they work in a game shop!
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I would ask someone out if they worked at a game shop. But reading your post made me pretty sad. I'm sorry for you and I feel equally sorry for the family you do not express your feelings for. True love is defined when the person is gone. For instance if one of your close family members passed away (I hope this never happens) then you would have a great feeling of loss (if your human). This feeling would then be washed away by regret. The regret that you never told them how you truly felt. If I could give you one word of advise (coming form a random old guy) I would tell you to say "I love you" to your family members that you do love. It might shock them at first and feel weird for you but after a couple times saying it you will feel better.

Whether you admit or not you have love. Because your human it is a flaw that we have to live with. Hiding or denying it only makes it eat away at you.. Wisdom will set in and you will see that I am right. You must be at peace with your own thoughts and emotions in order for someone else (non-family) to truly love you.
 
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