A man walks into his usual bar, looking a bit done in. "What's the problem Jim?" the barman asks him.
"Ah... it's the wife Arty. I'm finally going to snap. I was thinking of getting someone to do her in, but they all cost £200 - £300" Jim replies.
"Really? I'll do it if you like. Never liked her, you shouldn't have married her in the first place" Arty says.
"Oh that'd be great."
"Yeah, just give me a quid and I'll take care of her." So Jim promptly takes Arty up on the offer and even pays him the money up front. So the next night, Arty follows Jim's wife down the road and into the frozen food section at Tesco, and jumps on her and throttles her and puts the body into the freezer. Unfortunately a little old lady came round the corner and saw this, so Arty jumps on her, strangles her and puts her body in the next freezer. Just as he was walking away, Arty saw that the security guard had been watching him, and so had to strangle him before he could radio anyone.
The next day, the headline in the paper read "Artichokes: 3 for £1 in Tesco"
"Ah... it's the wife Arty. I'm finally going to snap. I was thinking of getting someone to do her in, but they all cost £200 - £300" Jim replies.
"Really? I'll do it if you like. Never liked her, you shouldn't have married her in the first place" Arty says.
"Oh that'd be great."
"Yeah, just give me a quid and I'll take care of her." So Jim promptly takes Arty up on the offer and even pays him the money up front. So the next night, Arty follows Jim's wife down the road and into the frozen food section at Tesco, and jumps on her and throttles her and puts the body into the freezer. Unfortunately a little old lady came round the corner and saw this, so Arty jumps on her, strangles her and puts her body in the next freezer. Just as he was walking away, Arty saw that the security guard had been watching him, and so had to strangle him before he could radio anyone.
The next day, the headline in the paper read "Artichokes: 3 for £1 in Tesco"
