Serious Guys, I need advice

Summoner Yuna

Summoner Yuna

The pirate and the princess
Joined
May 10, 2007
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39
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Moravia, Costa Rica
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So there's a really nice and cute guy I'm working with in a project at Uni and I really want to ask him out to a movie or something. He's really smart and is the first guy that's ever truly called my attention in the last three years. However, I'm afraid he'll say no. Thing is I'm working with him AND four other people. I actually proposed that we all go out when we pass the course to celebrate but, like I said, I want to ask him out only. Second thing is, I'm not really sure how I feel or how he feels about me because we've barely known each other but he seems really nice so far. Third thing is, he's a friend of my best friend (they used to go to school together) and I'm not sure how they would both feel if I dated this guy. I'm not sure what to do, it's like a stalemate and I'm afraid to make my next move.

Help, please!
 
You should go for it.

Take it from me when I tell you that you don't want to find yourself asking "what if" some time down the road. If you've got a chance, take it. I suppose I can't guarantee that everything will work exactly how you would like it to, but at least you'll know. The only thing that's worse than rejection is second-guessing yourself...because that lasts for quite a while. =\
 
Yeah, I guess so. That's quite a good reason. Thing is I don't wanna seem desperate or scare the guy. I don't even know if he already has a girlfriend but I'm too shy to ask. He's never mentioned anything before. When we're in the group we joke a lot but none of us have talked about relationships. Do guys don't like it when a girl asks them out?
 
Ok, lets see if I can help out here. If he's giving you a little extra attention, he probably does like you. I know whenever I like a girl, I'll give her extra attention, unfortunately I have the fear of them saying no as well so that's as far as it goes. Because you're working on a project with him, don't worry too much about not knowing him, you'll get to know him while the project continues anyway. I think if he volunteer's information about himself without being prompted, that would be a good sign too.

You say that he's friends with your best friend. If they are just friends, then you're not violating any rules by dating him. If they were dating at some point, then there is the friend rule that you don't date someone your friend dated. But even that rule can be bent to some extent, so long as your friend doesn't have an issue with it. The fact that your best friend is friends with him will also work to your advantage, they can tell you if this guy would be willing to date a girl like yourself. So long as your friend doesn't have an issue with it, then it would be ok to date this guy.

Anyways, hope that helps, and keep us updated on how things are going!


EDIT: Guys generally do the asking, but it wouldn't hurt if you did ask him. I think you should wait it out a little, then make a move near the end of the project, or right after.
 
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I once heard someone say "There are a million reasons not to do something". I've kept my feelings to myself in various situations for a myriad of different reasons...and I wish I hadn't in each situation, without exception.

I can't speak for every guy, in response to your question...but I know that it wouldn't bother me. I don't see the big deal about who asks who out first, but some people have strange theories about the roles of men/women in this sort of situation. *shrug*

It may very well be the case that he feels the same way, but is experiencing the same fear that you are. Don't let that happen to you. :gasp:
 
Thanks! Oh, and I should probably have mentioned that my best friend is a guy and straight so there's no possibility of them dating. I just think that my best friend would feel kinda weird me dating one of his friends because I'm like a little sister to him, so if something goes wrong that could make them both uncomfortable.
 
hey dont sweat it just ask him dont act like your worried because take it from me if you act worried then he will just look past you if you like him tell your friend and im sure they'll understand^_^
 
Summoner Yuna said:
Thanks! Oh, and I should probably have mentioned that my best friend is a guy and straight so there's no possibility of them dating. I just think that my best friend would feel kinda weird me dating one of his friends because I'm like a little sister to him, so if something goes wrong that could make them both uncomfortable.
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Ahh ok, so yeah, then the "dating the best friends ex" rule won't come into effect here. But remember, even a big brother has to let his sister date sometime. I say you talk to him about it first, if he's uncomfortable, then don't ask the guy out.
 
I suggest you talk to your best friend about him first. Scope out the situation and see if he really is a good guy or not. Also, see what your friends opinion is about you guys going out.

I wouldn't rush anything maybe you, your best friend, the guy can all hang out and just have fun. That should give you a better idea if he's into you and if you have anything in common or even if he's a genuinely nice guy.

Then see how it goes from there.
 
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