Divorce - How destructive is it?

Warbsywoo

Warbsywoo

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I've noticed many of my friends have parents who are divorced. Now, my parent's aren't divorced or anything, nor have I ever even heard the word until I moved to the U.S., but I know that it is destructive for the traditional ideal of the family.

The family is meant to be the staple for the morality of its children. Without a coherent family, it's hard, if not impossible, to teach what is right to children especially if the children are conscious enough to know that this is wrong.
Also, it destroys the family's, specifically the children's, morale in life.

Why the high divorce rate in countries?
Why the high divorce rate in the U.S., which was originally a Christian state and proposed such things as the 'perfect family'.
When was the fallout?

What are your thoughts on the topic of divorce?
Do you agree with it?

Personally, I don't agree with it, specifically for the reasons above. It sets a bad precedent for the children, who most likely will attempt divorce as well as they have seen their parents do. All in all, I think it's bad for the health of the nation. Same can be said for court cases and suing people.
Bad precedents, in my opinion.
 
I have a problem with quite a few of the words you used, or more specifically, how you used them.

To begin with:

Traditional
Morality
Ideal
Coherent
Conscious
Morale
Christian
Precedent

If you are able to make a case that divorce is wrong without the use of any*of these words, or any of their synonyms (or negating their antonyms), I might be inclined to agree with you.
 
I think that marriage should be taken more seriously. Not just marriage, but...relationships in general. Once children come into the picture, I think that the parents should make a commitment to work together to make things work for their child. It takes two people to have a baby, and it isn't just one person's responsibility to raise a child that someone else had a part in creating.

In some cases though...divorce, or...seperation is necessary I think...
I for one was raised by my father...and I'm glad that I was raised by him alone. If my mother had been in the picture while I was growing up, my life would have been much more hectic.
It was hectic enough, even without her having custody of me...

In situations where one parent is a drug addict or abusive, or...generally just a lazy useless individual, I think that they should be omitted from the child's life.
 
thank gode for divorce, my mum and dad gettin divorced was the greatest thing theye ever done. It didnt affect me at all because i was rootin for it to happen my whole life
 
Lucifer Morningstar said:
I have a problem with quite a few of the words you used, or more specifically, how you used them.

To begin with:

Traditional
Morality
Ideal
Coherent
Conscious
Morale
Christian
Precedent

If you are able to make a case that divorce is wrong without the use of any*of these words, or any of their synonyms (or negating their antonyms), I might be inclined to agree with you.
Click to expand...

Oh, sorry, I might have used them in a way that was too broad. I mean, those could mean anything.
Anyways, how could I rephrase it?
 
My mum and dad got divorced when I was so young I can't even remember it so it probably didn't affect me as much. They did move back in together briefly but didn't get married. My dad ended up moving out not long after as it was a disaster waiting to happen since my mum has some problems. Before when they got divorced they would talk but now they try to avoid each other. We've kinda made that a little easier since my brother had no option but to sign the house over to his name which my mum agreed and moved out.

My dad works in London but comes up to Glasgow every 2 weeks and my oldest brother comes up every month. I haven't actually seen my mum in a couple of months although she phoned yesterday to hear how I've been getting on. This may have affected how I live now since I live with my brother who is just over a year older than me, we are more relaxed now. I've just taking all this with a pinch of salt.
 
It seems most people only get married for the financial benefits... and so that they can brag that to their friends hat theyre married... Someone should prove me wrong.
 
Gotta admit, that's quite hard to prove wrong.
I mean, in the end, most people only marry because of the 'prestige' that goes along with it, and like you said, the bragging rights.

I don't think that's right at all. I mean, I think people should just marry if they're absolutely committed to its vows. I mean, you do vow to love one another until 'death' do they 'part'. So why not keep it?
If they're having problems with their marriage, there are always solutions to resolve them, and divorce just seems too drastic a move to me.

I seriously think divorce is a selfish act, it's all about the people who are involved, i.e. husband and wife, and only rarely do they think about the true scope of their actions and their consequences.
 
Also, in my opinion, couples divorce because they arent as attractive to eachother and want to leave them for a "better looking" person. Or someone who has more money... that is extremely selfish...

Why is it that poeple love eachother for so many years and then all of a sudden they just dont? If its after so many years, then the problem is fixable.. Some are just too damn lazy to fix there problems and just turn to separation then divorce because its easier... Look at "Everybody Loves Raymond" They fight all the time but they resolve there problems.. lol. Or "My wife and Kids" Problem gets solved, because they remember WHY they got married in the first place...
 
Warbourne said:
Gotta admit, that's quite hard to prove wrong.
I mean, in the end, most people only marry because of the 'prestige' that goes along with it, and like you said, the bragging rights.

I don't think that's right at all. I mean, I think people should just marry if they're absolutely committed to its vows. I mean, you do vow to love one another until 'death' do they 'part'. So why not keep it?
If they're having problems with their marriage, there are always solutions to resolve them, and divorce just seems too drastic a move to me.

I seriously think divorce is a selfish act, it's all about the people who are involved, i.e. husband and wife, and only rarely do they think about the true scope of their actions and their consequences.
Click to expand...

it isnt always selfish.

say for instance a scenario where there is a couple who have a child. The father is very abusive towards the mother and the young boy or girl sees this happening on a daily occasion. Is it then wrong for the mum to want a divorce from someone who terrifies her and her child? Definately not! its the fairest thing she could do for her and her kid. You cant work out problems like that through 'talking' to one another. Divorce is the answer.
 
well, hopefully my parents could prove you wrong :P.
At the time they got married (18 years ago), they were both unemployed and struggling to make ends meet, they loved each other pure and simple, so they got married, had three kids and everything is fine. I'm not trying to brag or anything, but I do think people get married for love the majority of the time, and not for money

Divorce is difficult for all involved and more often than not has malicious causes behind it (money, land etc) but sometime is it just the right thing to do, because children can cope better than you may think, and I do believe you were slightly patronizing in your first post. Children learn right and wrong not only from there mum and dad, but from other sources as well, and in a way it is built in.
 
I agree pretty much with what Fonix has said. And divorce is hard on everyone involved. Children aren't the only ones who are hurt, confused and even scared when there is a divorce. If people get married because they love each other, and truly think they're going to be together for the rest of their lives, divorce is probably obviously the last resort. The parents thought they had the love of their life by their side permanently, their best friend, their partner, and then all that goes down the toilet. Then if they do have children, look at all the extra time, money and heartache introduced. The guilt that they're possibly warping their children, or lose their children in a custody hearing, etc...and they're fighting someone who they loved, and supposedly loved them back.

I've seen people stay together for the 'sake of the family', even when there is virtually no family to even save. Parents who truly do not love each other, who stay married don't set a good example for children, mainly because when it comes to certain things, children aren't as stupid as people think. They can pick up on the fact that their mommy and daddy don't seem to act the same way other mommies an daddies do.

I have a friend who's parents stayed together way longer than they should have. They could have split amicably if they had done it when the thought first arose, but they were so afraid of looking 'selfish' and letting people think less of them, they stayed together and ended up splitting anyway cause by the end they couldn't stand each other. Most of the time my friend would stay at either my house or other friends houses cause she couldn't stand listening to them fight.

I also have a friend online who's parents have had loud violent arguments, where they've actually come out and yelled in front of him that the only reason they're together is cause of him. That doesn't make a kid feel good, or make them feel special, it makes them feel guilty and like they're the problem, when they're not.
 
Thats the parents problem. They are the ones who don't care about the kids because theyre having violent arguments in front of him. I dont mean to offend, but they are bad parents...
 
Thats the parents problem. They are the ones who don't care about the kids because theyre having violent arguments in front of him. I dont mean to offend, but they are bad parents...
Click to expand...
That's my point. They've gone way past the point of reconciliation, and should have been divorced years ago, but they think they're doing him a favor.
 
In my opinion, if a couple has gone for so long or have kids, divorce should truly truly be the last thing on their minds. I mean, it's easy to resolve squabbles, no matter how difficult, given the right resolve, which everyone has.
 
I don't see anything wrong with marrying for financial benefits. Some people may frown upon it, but hey...I'd rather not struggle, and if marriage will result in better health benefits on my part, I'm willing to do it...I just think that everyone should sign a prenuptual agreement in order to avoid trouble in the end just in case divorce does come up.

As for divorce being selfish?
Think again. You've only got one life. Just one; as far as we all know. Like I said...it takes two people to make a baby, it shouldn't be one person's responsibility to raise a child that someone else brought into this world. That's the most unfair thing you could possibly do to someone. o.0
But look, I mean...if you're utterly miserably and no longer in love with the person you're with...it's not worth it to give life's opportunities away.

Two people don't have to be married in order to provide for a kid.
 
Marriage is suppose to be for life... It's like saying to someone, "I promise I will donate you my kidney... I swear to God... as God as my witness, I give you my word".

then saying "nah I was just kidding about all that... you can't have my kidney"

that just means you didnt take your oath seriously. It was one big lie. Divorce is like ctrl Z'ing marriage... There should be a thing where if you want financial benefits of a married couple, you can do it another way without getting married.

And what is one of the reasons why after so many years you stop loving someone? You knew who they were, you should know the reason why you stop loving them. Then you can figure out how to fix it. Divorce should be the last resort.... not the first thing that comes to mind.
 
I agree that divorcing someone is no better than simply giving up. Some people are too impatient though to take the time to work things out. I don't know, but...it takes a long time to build up a lot of trust for a person...if I were with someone for even just 5 or 6 years or something, I would try to find a solution to our problems before giving up such a long effort.

God, I would certainly hate to start over in the beginning with a new relationship.
 
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