Original [Discussion] Pursuit of Blood

Pandora

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One of the biggest attacks in the land of Sonria has just taken place, leading to the burn down of one of the largest monasteries in the planet. Very few people survived this incident, taking the lives of 1/3 of the city's population. Valerius Briller, the monarch of the monastery and a powerful sorceror, managed to barely live through the incident all while saving one of his daughters. Ora Roseveldt, Valerius's brother-in-law, a magus mastering many dark magics, as well as the executioner of Sonria's main government, was the one who led the attack with the purpose of only killing one person - one the monastery chief's daughter, Estrella. The targeted girl had survived with the help of Valerius, but Ora had taken his other prize - his other daughter. Aware of this, while Estrella recovers from a coma, he sets out to look for Ora to take his other daughter back, knowing that the magus had a cruel intention in mind.

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So this is the POV story that I've been working for SO long at, and I finally got it started. It's three main characters is Valerius, Ora, and Demitra (Valerius's other daughter). I gave it the title Pursuit of Blood because all three characters are connected as blood relatives, and all three of them will end up chasing or following another character within the family.
While the story from a one sided view may be short, each chapter contains a different person's point of view, which is why this story will be rather lengthy. The way I had it set up was like this :


1 : Valerius's pov
2 : Ora's pov
3: Demitra's pov
4 : Valerius's pov
5 : Ora's pov
6 : Demitra's pov


and so on forth. And each chapter will be marked with the character's initial (either V, O, or D) so that the reader will know who's POV the chapter resides on. And any reader that doesn't look at this thread to find that out will more than likely catch on as they read ahead.

So yeah. How often am I going to update this? Not entirely sure myself, with all the other work I had to do lately. But I do write the chapters down first before I type them up and post them here - so I do plan ahead. But yeah, any questions or feedback can be posted here . :ryan:

 
This was a very good opening that immediately set a dark, mysterious tone that all openings should. I have to say, you pulled off an older protagonist much better than I've ever seen done before, and you very much immersed me in his character and morality without rushing character development.

Amanda and Madison were interesting side characters and I have to say I love the nature of Amanda. Calm one moment, anxious and impulsive the next. Your descriptions of Valerius' fatigue and the almost casual reference to magic here and there also got me immersed in the story and helped it flow, while this light touching on Ora's personality and motives makes me immediately curious to see the next chapter from his point of view. Keep it up.
 
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