Calling all Pommy bastards.

[Squid]

English people.

I am going to London in 4 days for 4 days. Give me ideas on cool shops/places to visit please.

I already know of all the touristy things like Madame Toussards and big ben/eye of london etc.

But what else is there to do that I can fill up 4 days with?

tell me.

 

[Marquis of Granby]

shit in the shit gutters and piss in the piss gutters!

 

[Squid]

no that as manchester, remember? hahahaha

 

[Marquis of Granby]

did i say that was just manchester? i do not remember

london has those things too. and they make their own cornflakes their too!

 

[Ewan]

If you can, you should go to the theatre because it is amazing e.g. Chicago.

 

[Squid]

So as a touris in London I should take a shit in the gutters and also make my own cornflakes.
How boring. I don't even like Cornflakes

 

[Marquis of Granby]

hahahahahahaha

i dont think you can do those things as anything other than a tourist. doing them as a tourist is the only thing that will keep you out of jail!

 

[Squid]

I don't think I trust you on this... I'm probably not going to do those things. Specially the shitting in the gutters....because my arse will freeze.

Also the Theatre... is there only one? I remember seeing on a website that there were multiple ones!

 

[Marquis of Granby]

there are only 0.33333333333333333333333333 theatres in lundun

 

[Ewan]

Yes, there are many. I'm pretty sure each theatre only shows one production because they do several performances a day. So basically if you saw Chicago it would be in the same theatre every night I think. They're all pretty close together and easy to find.

 

[Squid]

perhaps I will do this theatre thing then!
I will feel so posh

 

[Ewan]

You probably will. When I went, I took of my glasses and replaced them with 2 monocles.

 

[Squid]

I will use those binoculars on a stick and wear a puffy dress and say things like "Oh jolly good show chap!!"

 

[Marquis of Granby]

i want to see if i can get a monocle for my japseye

 

[Squid]

 

[Ewan]

Until they realise you're just a convict in disguise.

 

[Squid]

Then I'll get sent to Australia

 

[Dionysos]

The touristy things and the theatre will pretty much fill up the time. 4 days is not even enough for all of that sort of thing.

I don't know much about shops, but London has a few of them too.

 

[Squid]

I want to see the aquarium

is it huge?

 

[Dionysos]

I don't think I've ever been to the Aquarium.

It may be huge. Aquariums I've been in in Britain have all been relatively large.

Are you planning on seeing museums as well? Or did they count under the touristy things that you already know about?