Breed Of Criminals

I don't have much against your character.
except the fact that my character already has 100% control over the water/ice spectrum.

Also. the heat issue.
it seems as if you have copied my character, but instead of a gift from a god, it is a racial trait.

so. It can be interesting ^^
The overall power, depends on the knowledge of water/ice. And how well you have thought thought your character.
ask Kira, I have given id a great deal of thought ^^

But it is all up to YMV.
 
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As Red fox said the only problem with your character is the Ice manipulation as his character also uses Ice manipulation as his main ability along with water, i just piss about with the hydrogen atoms in it to blow things up :P
 
Please add a history for your character, I am not even going to consider approving him until then. Otherwise I'm with fox and Kira, the characters have very similar abilities. I'm not sure If I like this or not, seeing as mine in fire. It could be interesting none the less.
 
well.
it is better. however, this part I dont like

a form of intense energy that resists all magic and most physical blows.
Click to expand...

No one should be resistance to all kinds of magics, nor any single one.

you can be restsTANT to some magics
but again, not too much, since this is power gaming.
 
I'm actually no fan of this bio what so ever. The whole aspect of losing years of his life ... it is pointless, and crazy power strong shield. At least you some history of the character in there in now. Explain how he killed demonfather, weaken the shield and perhaps I'll reconsider.

But until then you are NOT APPROVED.
 
well.
you removed the shield, this is good.
but, you will hate me for this.

since you specify that he uses different dances.
You have to describe all of them.
this is so that we know what we might expect.
You don't have to enter detail. but at least the strength and weakness is a must.

I'm normally OK with short histories.
but this doesn't state much.
also, it is way to cliché for my tastes
I think I have seen the exact same history on 12 different characters
and yours is one of the ones that are most vague.
 
No, no hatred Red Fox, those objections are totally cool and personally, the vague history I wrote up last night will extremely tired from work...
I'll edit that...
I think I may actually completely revamp my guy so, sorry guys, but you're going to have to re-read it completely...
I don't like him so much any more...
 
If you must know Marilith I am a knida nut for historys. See my new character in the hall of warriors (sorry no link) to see what I mean by history length. Or perhaps some of foxes characters. I really like the history of his character Jonad.
 
ok, here we go again.

First of all, Id like to state that a long bio is rarely nessesairy. but it DOES explain a lot about the character
look at mine
Some have longer history then your whole bio.

so, off to the new character
First of all, Teleportation is NOT allowed in RP's this is stated by the rules somewhere.
Regardless if it is 100 meters, or 2 inches

The weather control is ok. but you don't state the length it takes to do things.
Like, from a clear blue sky, how long will it take to make a lightning strike, at the fastest.
also, of you have weather control, you have to take the logical real life notes into your notes.
Since lightning is created by ESD (Electro Static Discharge)
so, since there is a static buildup in the clouds, that later releases the lightning.

Also. you have to take the previous weather into consideration.
if there have just been a drought.
Then the lightning might cause a fire.
Or a blizzard, in a desert location. That will take time, since the sands are already warm.

Also, you have no defined energy loss (AKA, Mana drain) to when you do this.

So, you have some explaining to do ^^

NOTE, I haven't read the history yet.
so I wont nag on that, not yet at least.
Fix up the magic section, and completly remove the teleportation
and Ill have another look.
 
Oh the reason for Rey's history not being that long is because I am currently writing the rest in the NERP, and the history for Rey does not need to be that long as a result.
 
Yes, I too am a stickler for histories but it is a short history...
About the powers, I guess I'll change those again... didn't know about the teleportation so I'll alter that.
 
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