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Welcome to the voting thread for this years writing competition (titled Expanding the Universe)!
You may post an explanation for your vote or any general comments if you wish but it is not required if you just want to vote.
This voting thread had to be delayed, so I appreciate that there isn't long left to vote. Please do vote!
Here are the entries:
Entry 1
Entry 2
Prizes:
1st place - 300 Gil - 5 BWP
2nd place – 100 Gil - 3 BWP
3rd place – 50 Gil - 2 BWP
25 Gil and 1 BWP will be granted to anybody who has entered the competition.
You may post an explanation for your vote or any general comments if you wish but it is not required if you just want to vote.
This voting thread had to be delayed, so I appreciate that there isn't long left to vote. Please do vote!
Here are the entries:
Entry 1
Black Swan - Chapter 1
The hollow sound of Quistis' heel tapping against the metal rung of the bar stool echoed throughout the room. With every tap, the vibration pulsated through the bones in her leg and while it wasn't exactly a comfortable feeling, she appreciated the fact that she could still feel. Considering the rest of her was pretty numb at the moment, the sensation was definitely welcome.
There were other things assaulting her senses currently, that most would find offensive. For starters, the particular bar she was at was relatively new, but it was already beginning to accumulate the stale scent of urine. Throw in the rancid smell of day-old vomit, and that was what Quistis was lucky enough to breathe in. The boisterous sound of drunken individuals surrounded her, and surprisingly, she welcomed the distraction. The more she concentrated on the problems of others, the less terrible her life seemed to be. Or at least, that's what she kept telling herself.
It had been three years since the defeat of Ultimecia. Since then, all of her friends had settled into their respective roles. Squall was Commander at Garden, and worked closely with Headmaster Cid on executive decisions concerning SeeD missions. Rinoa, of course, was beside him at all times and offered a third-party view when the Headmaster needed it. She’d never ‘officially’ become a SeeD, claiming she just wasn’t cut out for the life of a mercenary. Frankly, Quistis agreed with the dark-haired optimist. Rinoa’s heart was in the right place and she was too kind; the unforgiving tasks she’d be asked to do as a SeeD didn’t mesh well with the type of person she was.
Selphie and Irvine, along with Zell, remained at Balamb Garden. Irvine could have returned to Galbadia, but after the corruption he’d seen in their military, he didn’t feel any sort of loyalty to them in the slightest. Besides, as the sniper had said, “Where Sephy goes, I go!” Zell was still Zell: as rambunctious and energetic as he’d always been. Lately, Quistis had been spotting him in the Training Center more frequently. He claimed he was perfecting his moves, though he’d never explained exactly why he was so driven. Quistis suspected that he might be getting ready to apply for the Martial Arts Instructor position.
Matron had returned to the ruins of the orphanage on Centra, claiming that she wanted to rebuild the ruins of the home they had all shared in the past. Headmaster Cid couldn’t exactly abandon Garden so he’d been forced let her return alone. Now that she was no longer a sorceress, she didn’t have to hide who she was, and he wasn’t worried about her wellbeing. However, that didn’t mean he wasn’t lonely without her by his side; Garden swung by the orphanage once a month to check up on her, as well as see how the orphanage was coming along.
As for Quistis herself, she’d been working as a SeeD in the interim, until she could apply to become an instructor again. Despite what Garden Faculty had thought when NORG was in command, she truly did love teaching. Being able to make a difference in cadets’ lives and in their education, was something she’d taken great pride in. Yes, it had hurt when they’d taken her license away and claimed that she wasn’t ready to be an instructor. At the time, she’d been bitter and had disagreed with their decision. During the events of the second Sorceress War however, she’d realized that they’d been right. She was so young then, so naive. Even during the past three years, she understood that she’d changed quite a bit. Now she knew, with absolute certainty, that she was ready once again, She just hadn’t taken the last step in her application, which was to actually turn it in. There was a part of her that was terrified of failing again. The other part of her however, wanted to stand behind that desk, and to be called ‘Instructor’ again, more than anything.
So, she’d taken the elevator to the third floor this morning, to the Headmaster’s office, to finally turn in her application. Today was the day her life would return to normal. When she’d gotten there though, Squall and Rinoa had been talking to the Headmaster.
---
Quistis hesitantly stepped into the Headmaster’s office, her eyebrows furrowed in apprehension. Rinoa and Squall were speaking softly to Cid, who was gazing at them, his eyes warm. When they heard her timid footsteps tapping on the carpet, Rinoa turned, her excitement nearly tangible in the air.
“Quistis! I’m so happy you’re here! We have news for everyone!” the raven-haired sorceress exclaimed, as she sprinted over to stand in front of Quistis, grasping her friend’s gloved hands tightly.
“Oh? News?” she replied, as she glanced at Squall. She was surprised to see a gentle smile on his lips. It was such a rare occurrence when he did smile, that whoever was witnessed it tended to stop in their tracks. Except Rinoa, since she was normally the cause of his more pleasant facial expressions.
“Yes! We wanted to tell everyone all at once, but I just couldn’t wait,” Rinoa explained breathlessly.
“It must be really exciting then,” Quistis commented warily. Rinoa was generally always upbeat, but her current level of excitement was borderline Selphie-like, which was a little frightening.
Squall came up behind his sorceress then, and placed his hands on her shoulders, his black gloves a stark contrast to Rinoa’s light-blue duster. “Just tell her, Rin,” he whispered fondly.
Rinoa glanced up at Squall, her eyes filled with adoration and love, and Quistis cringed inwardly at being the third wheel in this situation. Other than Headmaster Cid of course, who was still watching the exchange from his desk.
When Rinoa’s chestnut brown eyes finally returned to Quistis’ vivid, crystalline ones, Quistis found that for some strange reason, her stomach dropped in anticipation of what Rinoa was about to say.
“...I’m pregnant!” her friend blurted out, her voice brimming with happiness.
Quistis’ mouth dropped open and she tried to close it, only to find that it fell open again. She realized that she probably looked like a gaping Balamb Fish at the moment, gasping for air. Or maybe a Fastitocalon, in her particular case.
“Wow, that’s...amazing. Congratulations, you two,” she mumbled, knowing that she didn’t sound nearly as happy as she should have.
Luckily, Rinoa was in such a cushioned bubble of elation, she barely even noticed Quistis’ trepidation. She squeezed Quistis’ gloved hands and threw yet another ‘exciting’ announcement out.
“And...we’re getting married! I want to be able to wear my mother’s dress before I start showing, so I figure it’d be a good idea to do it sometime soon! I’m planning on asking Selphie to help me with organizing everything, but Quistis...I was wondering if...you’d want to be a bridesmaid too?” Rinoa asked, her tone of voice rising hopefully at the end of her spiel.
Quistis’ lips formed a surprised ‘O’ and she sputtered a couple of times, nonsensically, before she could reply. “I...would be honored!”
Rinoa’s arms wrapped tightly around Quistis’ torso, and the younger woman squeezed them in an excited hug, before she let her golden-haired friend go.
“Yay! I’m so happy to hear that! I have to go find Selphie, but I’ll come find you later so we can talk about stuff!” she exclaimed, as she grabbed Squall’s hand and dragged him out of the Headmaster’s office.
---
Quistis had watched them leave, speechless and shocked. The Headmaster had simply patted her on the shoulder sympathetically, before returning to his desk. She was happy for her friends; really, she was. But she couldn’t help the wave of sorrow and loneliness that swept through her, as the wooden, double doors to the Headmaster’s office had swung shut.
What felt like the fifth sigh of the night, escaped from Quistis’ rosy lips. She raised her hand and waved at the bartender lazily, accepting the fact that she was probably going to be here for the rest of the night. She didn’t normally drink. The training center was her stress reliever of choice but there’d been a handful of cadets in there earlier, working on their techniques for the upcoming field exam. Field exam dates were generally kept a secret and announced the morning of, to remind cadets anything could happen and that they should always be prepared. Somehow though, they always found out prior to the official announcement.
The bartender, a portly man who appeared to be in his mid-thirties, wandered over at Quistis’ beckoning. His soothing, deep voice called out to her through the drunken haziness that was affecting her senses.
“What can I get ya now?” Though his voice was warm, his attitude wasn’t. Quistis supposed that came with experience in working at bars, which were almost always filled with less than respectable people.
“I’ll have...whatever it was that I had before,” Quistis mumbled, her words slurred.
He nodded and walked off, presumably to prepare her drink. She leaned back on the stool, her hands grasping the edge of the counter. As the muscles in her biceps flexed, she sighed again. The despair she felt permeated every breath she exhaled forcefully, and she wondered why she couldn’t just be happy for Squall and Rinoa.
She knew Squall deserved this happiness, she’d always believed that he did. When she had still been his instructor, and even before as kids, she’d only wanted the best for him. The image of him broke her heart every time: his small frame, draped in that yellow striped shirt that he’d always worn, standing in the doorway of Edea’s orphanage waiting for Ellone to return. She’d stepped in then, hoping to replace the ‘Sis’ he’d lost but he’d already begun to close himself off, reluctant to trust again. When she’d been adopted by the Trepes, she was sure that hadn’t helped the situation, either.
Now, every time she saw the way he looked at Rinoa, a mixture of awe and pure devotion gracing his features, she was glad that he’d found the sorceress; no matter how difficult the path had been. That joy she felt for Squall was sadly tainted by jealousy. Was it really too much to ask for? Too much for the universe to give her a happy ending, too?
The bartender returned then, a square whiskey glass in his hand, the amber liquid swirling within its confines with every step he took. He placed it on a white paper napkin in front of Quistis, his gaze expectant. She waved her hand in the air dismissively. “Just put it on my tab. I’ll be here for...a while, I think.”
He nodded again, his shrewd eyes lingering on her as he turned to help other customers. He was a smart businessman, this bartender. Though he didn’t know her personally, he could sense she’d had a rough day and was using it to his advantage. By the end of the night, probably twenty-five percent of the revenue he’d earn would come from Quistis herself.
She lifted the drink off the counter and raised it to her mouth, her lips pursed and ready to take a sip. As the cold, hard glass touched her skin, a voice she’d never expected to hear again, called out to her.
“Well, well, well...if it isn’t the dear Instructor Trepe.”
She froze, the masculine, husky tone drifting over her. His voice was as dry as she remembered, and still as hostile as the day she’d become his teacher. She steeled herself, stiffening her spine and setting the glass back down on the counter, before she swiveled the stool around to face him.
Seifer Almasy. My most troublesome student, Quistis thought bitterly to herself.
His striking cerulean eyes were in her direct line of sight, his eyebrows furrowed over them; he still towered over her at six foot two, but the bar stool was rather high, so she was able to look him directly in the eyes. The blonde, slightly disheveled locks of his hair were even longer now, the ends nearly grazing the top of his ears. They were brushed back from his face, but that single strand he’d never been able to tame still hung over his forehead. The puckered, angry scar that ran across his face between his eyes, mirroring Squall’s, was still as intimidating as it had been three years ago--though Quistis had never fallen prey to his threatening aura. Time had weathered his features, hardening them from the still boyish looks he’d had when she’d last seen him, to the more defined lines of masculinity. He was also sporting a light dusting of blonde stubble.
The same, grey trench coat he always wore still engulfed his large frame. Its hem was tattered and torn now, the edges darkened by grime; why he still wore the old thing was beyond her. His hands were shoved into his pockets, his shoulders tense. Fujin’s tiny silhouette and Raijin’s hulking profile could be spotted hovering just behind him. As always, they hung back, ready for their leader’s command.
I can’t believe they’re still following him around. Honestly…If Quistis could roll her eyes mentally, that’s what she would be doing.
“Seifer. What an...unpleasant surprise,” she commented, the alcohol loosening her propriety, allowing her honest opinion of him to show its true colors.
Seifer’s lips curled upwards in a sneer, and he distastefully said, “I would say you haven’t changed Instructor, but frankly, I’m surprised to see you in a bar. I didn’t think you even knew what these were.”
“Ha,ha…,” she trailed off, and spun around in an attempt to pointedly ignore him.
Unfortunately, Seifer knew her personality and so he sat down on the stool next to hers, making it his official mission of the night to annoy her as much as possible. Fujin and Raijin wandered off, after Seifer nonchalantly waved his hand at them, shooing them away. Quistis sighed again, though this time instead of despondency, it was saturated with annoyance. He’d always known the fastest way to push her buttons.
“So Instructor, it’s been a while. What exactly drove you to the bottle, huh?” he asked sarcastically.
“You know full well that I’m no longer an instructor, Seifer. It was all thanks to you, as a matter of fact,” she replied, her tone as frosty as Shiva’s Diamond Dust.
Seifer scoffed in disbelief. When he spoke again, his words were laced with unbridled anger. “Is that what you tell yourself at night? It’s easier to blame all the shit that goes on in your guys’ lives on me, isn’t it?”
“You know what, Seifer? This is my pity party. Go find your own.”
“Nah, I think I’ll stay right here. You’re obviously enjoying my company. I’m surprised, Instructor-” Quistis cringed outwardly this time. He had to be doing that on purpose. “-You’re like a completely different person when you’re drunk. In fact, I think I could even say you’re fun.”
“Ugh…”
Quistis raised her momentarily forgotten glass swiftly to her lips, and swallowed the bitter liquid inside in one gulp. Seifer made a low sound of admiration that oddly, sent shivers down her spine. She shifted uncomfortably at the unexpected sensation.
“Wow, I’m impressed. Never expected that from you, Instructor.”
Frustrated at his insistence on calling her ‘Instructor’ after she’d told him not to, Quistis quickly clambered off the stool, stumbling slightly at the sudden motion. The soles of her boots stuck to the floor; the aged, syrupy consistency of spilled alcoholic beverages impeded her ability to regain her balance.
“Enough, Seifer! I am not an Instructor, and you know it!” she exclaimed, as she swiped her arm through the air in a dismissive motion.
Seifer whirled around on his stool, his black glove grasping the edge of the bar tightly for support, as she’d done herself only a few minutes ago.
“I’m sorry Quistis, did I strike a nerve? Am I annoying you? Do you want me to go?!” he needled.
Her pale blue eyes narrowed and she planted her hands firmly on her hips in her signature pose. “Don’t you dare pin this on me. I was here first.”
“Wow, nice reasoning. That was something a five year old would say.”
Quistis threw her hands up in the air as a sharp exhalation of air left her lips. She swiftly pivoted on her heel and stalked towards the door, fed up with his behavior and the fact that he’d interrupted her night. “By all means Seifer, take the bar. I’ll simply go somewhere else.”
Before she could reach the door, the bartender’s throat clearing caught her attention. She froze and slowly turned around, facing the bar again. He was gazing at her expectantly and she trudged back over to him, scrounging in her pocket for Gil. She tossed a hundred casually onto the counter, not particularly caring that she just left a huge amount of money for the tip. She stalked back to the front door again, the feel of Seifer’s heated gaze boring into the back of her head, as her boots sharply clicked against the concrete floor. The door flew open and banged against the outer wall due to her unnecessary force, and she stepped out into the warm, Balamb night.
Once the door had swung shut behind her, she took a deep breath, reveling in the sensation of the breeze rushing into her lungs. She closed her eyes and tried to regain the composure she was well known for having. After a few seconds of therapeutic breathing, she turned and started to head towards Balamb’s front gate.
Now that she had time to reflect again, she found that thoughts of Seifer coursed through her mind, rather than of the day’s events. What were the chances of seeing Seifer here, in Balamb, in the same bar she’d been at? Not only that, why had he decided to sit down next to her? He could’ve easily ignored her, choosing instead to walk back out. Because of her involvement in the war, she was easily recognized in both her civilian clothing and official SeeD uniform. Regardless of that fact though, Seifer would’ve recognized her even faster than a civilian would have. They had history, after all.
Was it because he was essentially still the same boy she’d known at Garden? Back then, he’d had a sarcastic comment ready to retaliate to every single thing she’d said to him. He’d always sought out ways to irritate her; pushing over piles of graded tests she’d had on her desk, speaking out of turn during her lessons, and making sure to come in late to class every, single, day. Was that what he’d been doing tonight when he’d sat down beside her and called her ‘Instructor’ at every opportunity?
She shook her head quickly, frustrated that she was even allowing him to haunt her thoughts like this. The past was over and done with, and none of them had anything to do with Seifer any longer. She’d seen him, they’d spoken briefly, and then she’d left. That was all tonight was. If word got back to anyone at Garden that they’d been seen together, that’s exactly what she’d tell them.
The sound of her boots on the asphalt of the path that led back to Garden, echoed around her. The moonlight reflected off the surface of the ocean; a single white streak from the moon’s reflection cut through the dark, almost black waves. The sand on the beach glowed a pale periwinkle, and even from where Quistis stood a few feet away, she could see the fineness of the grains. The rolling meadow that lay between Garden and Balamb surrounded her and the gentle breeze that drifted through the valley caressed the blades of grass, causing them to waver slightly. The two locks of hair that framed her face also swayed with the motion of the wind and she smiled fondly at the beautiful landscape.
The sights helped calm her and she walked the rest of the way back to Garden in silence. She normally rented a car or used one of the standard issued vehicles they had in the parking garage, but she knew she’d be drinking and had chosen to walk to town instead. Now, she was grateful for the decision she’d made because the walk was helping her sober up. She was human, so she didn’t expect any of her friends to judge her for drinking her problems away. If they asked though, she’d have to explain why she’d chosen to get drunk and that was a conversation she didn’t particularly want to have just yet.
Her thoughts started to drift back to what Rinoa had told her earlier and she shook her head fervently trying to rid herself of thoughts she knew would only send her spiraling downwards again. They all deserved happiness, and she was glad that Squall and Rinoa had found that in each other. She was happy for them, really. She just needed to work on acting like it.
Seifer’s face, with the long, harsh scar marring his features, which she had to admit didn’t detract from his looks, popped into her head then. He’d always been handsome, even when he’d been younger. His broad shoulders were even more muscular than they’d been when he was eighteen, she’d easily noticed the contours of them through the strained fabric of his trench coat. The dry tone in his voice, that he’d had even as a teenager, had remained but it had deepened. It had become richer, more gravelly. It was...
Sexy...Oh Hyne, I need to stop, she thought frantically to herself, as she gripped her head with her gloved hands. It’s just Seifer. He hasn’t changed, I haven’t changed, nothing has changed. Remember that, Quistis!
That thought haunted her the rest of the way back to Garden, all the way up until she collapsed into her bed for the night. The last thing she saw in her mind, was the piercing azure gaze of Seifer’s eyes as she’d turned away from him at the bar.
The hollow sound of Quistis' heel tapping against the metal rung of the bar stool echoed throughout the room. With every tap, the vibration pulsated through the bones in her leg and while it wasn't exactly a comfortable feeling, she appreciated the fact that she could still feel. Considering the rest of her was pretty numb at the moment, the sensation was definitely welcome.
There were other things assaulting her senses currently, that most would find offensive. For starters, the particular bar she was at was relatively new, but it was already beginning to accumulate the stale scent of urine. Throw in the rancid smell of day-old vomit, and that was what Quistis was lucky enough to breathe in. The boisterous sound of drunken individuals surrounded her, and surprisingly, she welcomed the distraction. The more she concentrated on the problems of others, the less terrible her life seemed to be. Or at least, that's what she kept telling herself.
It had been three years since the defeat of Ultimecia. Since then, all of her friends had settled into their respective roles. Squall was Commander at Garden, and worked closely with Headmaster Cid on executive decisions concerning SeeD missions. Rinoa, of course, was beside him at all times and offered a third-party view when the Headmaster needed it. She’d never ‘officially’ become a SeeD, claiming she just wasn’t cut out for the life of a mercenary. Frankly, Quistis agreed with the dark-haired optimist. Rinoa’s heart was in the right place and she was too kind; the unforgiving tasks she’d be asked to do as a SeeD didn’t mesh well with the type of person she was.
Selphie and Irvine, along with Zell, remained at Balamb Garden. Irvine could have returned to Galbadia, but after the corruption he’d seen in their military, he didn’t feel any sort of loyalty to them in the slightest. Besides, as the sniper had said, “Where Sephy goes, I go!” Zell was still Zell: as rambunctious and energetic as he’d always been. Lately, Quistis had been spotting him in the Training Center more frequently. He claimed he was perfecting his moves, though he’d never explained exactly why he was so driven. Quistis suspected that he might be getting ready to apply for the Martial Arts Instructor position.
Matron had returned to the ruins of the orphanage on Centra, claiming that she wanted to rebuild the ruins of the home they had all shared in the past. Headmaster Cid couldn’t exactly abandon Garden so he’d been forced let her return alone. Now that she was no longer a sorceress, she didn’t have to hide who she was, and he wasn’t worried about her wellbeing. However, that didn’t mean he wasn’t lonely without her by his side; Garden swung by the orphanage once a month to check up on her, as well as see how the orphanage was coming along.
As for Quistis herself, she’d been working as a SeeD in the interim, until she could apply to become an instructor again. Despite what Garden Faculty had thought when NORG was in command, she truly did love teaching. Being able to make a difference in cadets’ lives and in their education, was something she’d taken great pride in. Yes, it had hurt when they’d taken her license away and claimed that she wasn’t ready to be an instructor. At the time, she’d been bitter and had disagreed with their decision. During the events of the second Sorceress War however, she’d realized that they’d been right. She was so young then, so naive. Even during the past three years, she understood that she’d changed quite a bit. Now she knew, with absolute certainty, that she was ready once again, She just hadn’t taken the last step in her application, which was to actually turn it in. There was a part of her that was terrified of failing again. The other part of her however, wanted to stand behind that desk, and to be called ‘Instructor’ again, more than anything.
So, she’d taken the elevator to the third floor this morning, to the Headmaster’s office, to finally turn in her application. Today was the day her life would return to normal. When she’d gotten there though, Squall and Rinoa had been talking to the Headmaster.
---
Quistis hesitantly stepped into the Headmaster’s office, her eyebrows furrowed in apprehension. Rinoa and Squall were speaking softly to Cid, who was gazing at them, his eyes warm. When they heard her timid footsteps tapping on the carpet, Rinoa turned, her excitement nearly tangible in the air.
“Quistis! I’m so happy you’re here! We have news for everyone!” the raven-haired sorceress exclaimed, as she sprinted over to stand in front of Quistis, grasping her friend’s gloved hands tightly.
“Oh? News?” she replied, as she glanced at Squall. She was surprised to see a gentle smile on his lips. It was such a rare occurrence when he did smile, that whoever was witnessed it tended to stop in their tracks. Except Rinoa, since she was normally the cause of his more pleasant facial expressions.
“Yes! We wanted to tell everyone all at once, but I just couldn’t wait,” Rinoa explained breathlessly.
“It must be really exciting then,” Quistis commented warily. Rinoa was generally always upbeat, but her current level of excitement was borderline Selphie-like, which was a little frightening.
Squall came up behind his sorceress then, and placed his hands on her shoulders, his black gloves a stark contrast to Rinoa’s light-blue duster. “Just tell her, Rin,” he whispered fondly.
Rinoa glanced up at Squall, her eyes filled with adoration and love, and Quistis cringed inwardly at being the third wheel in this situation. Other than Headmaster Cid of course, who was still watching the exchange from his desk.
When Rinoa’s chestnut brown eyes finally returned to Quistis’ vivid, crystalline ones, Quistis found that for some strange reason, her stomach dropped in anticipation of what Rinoa was about to say.
“...I’m pregnant!” her friend blurted out, her voice brimming with happiness.
Quistis’ mouth dropped open and she tried to close it, only to find that it fell open again. She realized that she probably looked like a gaping Balamb Fish at the moment, gasping for air. Or maybe a Fastitocalon, in her particular case.
“Wow, that’s...amazing. Congratulations, you two,” she mumbled, knowing that she didn’t sound nearly as happy as she should have.
Luckily, Rinoa was in such a cushioned bubble of elation, she barely even noticed Quistis’ trepidation. She squeezed Quistis’ gloved hands and threw yet another ‘exciting’ announcement out.
“And...we’re getting married! I want to be able to wear my mother’s dress before I start showing, so I figure it’d be a good idea to do it sometime soon! I’m planning on asking Selphie to help me with organizing everything, but Quistis...I was wondering if...you’d want to be a bridesmaid too?” Rinoa asked, her tone of voice rising hopefully at the end of her spiel.
Quistis’ lips formed a surprised ‘O’ and she sputtered a couple of times, nonsensically, before she could reply. “I...would be honored!”
Rinoa’s arms wrapped tightly around Quistis’ torso, and the younger woman squeezed them in an excited hug, before she let her golden-haired friend go.
“Yay! I’m so happy to hear that! I have to go find Selphie, but I’ll come find you later so we can talk about stuff!” she exclaimed, as she grabbed Squall’s hand and dragged him out of the Headmaster’s office.
---
Quistis had watched them leave, speechless and shocked. The Headmaster had simply patted her on the shoulder sympathetically, before returning to his desk. She was happy for her friends; really, she was. But she couldn’t help the wave of sorrow and loneliness that swept through her, as the wooden, double doors to the Headmaster’s office had swung shut.
What felt like the fifth sigh of the night, escaped from Quistis’ rosy lips. She raised her hand and waved at the bartender lazily, accepting the fact that she was probably going to be here for the rest of the night. She didn’t normally drink. The training center was her stress reliever of choice but there’d been a handful of cadets in there earlier, working on their techniques for the upcoming field exam. Field exam dates were generally kept a secret and announced the morning of, to remind cadets anything could happen and that they should always be prepared. Somehow though, they always found out prior to the official announcement.
The bartender, a portly man who appeared to be in his mid-thirties, wandered over at Quistis’ beckoning. His soothing, deep voice called out to her through the drunken haziness that was affecting her senses.
“What can I get ya now?” Though his voice was warm, his attitude wasn’t. Quistis supposed that came with experience in working at bars, which were almost always filled with less than respectable people.
“I’ll have...whatever it was that I had before,” Quistis mumbled, her words slurred.
He nodded and walked off, presumably to prepare her drink. She leaned back on the stool, her hands grasping the edge of the counter. As the muscles in her biceps flexed, she sighed again. The despair she felt permeated every breath she exhaled forcefully, and she wondered why she couldn’t just be happy for Squall and Rinoa.
She knew Squall deserved this happiness, she’d always believed that he did. When she had still been his instructor, and even before as kids, she’d only wanted the best for him. The image of him broke her heart every time: his small frame, draped in that yellow striped shirt that he’d always worn, standing in the doorway of Edea’s orphanage waiting for Ellone to return. She’d stepped in then, hoping to replace the ‘Sis’ he’d lost but he’d already begun to close himself off, reluctant to trust again. When she’d been adopted by the Trepes, she was sure that hadn’t helped the situation, either.
Now, every time she saw the way he looked at Rinoa, a mixture of awe and pure devotion gracing his features, she was glad that he’d found the sorceress; no matter how difficult the path had been. That joy she felt for Squall was sadly tainted by jealousy. Was it really too much to ask for? Too much for the universe to give her a happy ending, too?
The bartender returned then, a square whiskey glass in his hand, the amber liquid swirling within its confines with every step he took. He placed it on a white paper napkin in front of Quistis, his gaze expectant. She waved her hand in the air dismissively. “Just put it on my tab. I’ll be here for...a while, I think.”
He nodded again, his shrewd eyes lingering on her as he turned to help other customers. He was a smart businessman, this bartender. Though he didn’t know her personally, he could sense she’d had a rough day and was using it to his advantage. By the end of the night, probably twenty-five percent of the revenue he’d earn would come from Quistis herself.
She lifted the drink off the counter and raised it to her mouth, her lips pursed and ready to take a sip. As the cold, hard glass touched her skin, a voice she’d never expected to hear again, called out to her.
“Well, well, well...if it isn’t the dear Instructor Trepe.”
She froze, the masculine, husky tone drifting over her. His voice was as dry as she remembered, and still as hostile as the day she’d become his teacher. She steeled herself, stiffening her spine and setting the glass back down on the counter, before she swiveled the stool around to face him.
Seifer Almasy. My most troublesome student, Quistis thought bitterly to herself.
His striking cerulean eyes were in her direct line of sight, his eyebrows furrowed over them; he still towered over her at six foot two, but the bar stool was rather high, so she was able to look him directly in the eyes. The blonde, slightly disheveled locks of his hair were even longer now, the ends nearly grazing the top of his ears. They were brushed back from his face, but that single strand he’d never been able to tame still hung over his forehead. The puckered, angry scar that ran across his face between his eyes, mirroring Squall’s, was still as intimidating as it had been three years ago--though Quistis had never fallen prey to his threatening aura. Time had weathered his features, hardening them from the still boyish looks he’d had when she’d last seen him, to the more defined lines of masculinity. He was also sporting a light dusting of blonde stubble.
The same, grey trench coat he always wore still engulfed his large frame. Its hem was tattered and torn now, the edges darkened by grime; why he still wore the old thing was beyond her. His hands were shoved into his pockets, his shoulders tense. Fujin’s tiny silhouette and Raijin’s hulking profile could be spotted hovering just behind him. As always, they hung back, ready for their leader’s command.
I can’t believe they’re still following him around. Honestly…If Quistis could roll her eyes mentally, that’s what she would be doing.
“Seifer. What an...unpleasant surprise,” she commented, the alcohol loosening her propriety, allowing her honest opinion of him to show its true colors.
Seifer’s lips curled upwards in a sneer, and he distastefully said, “I would say you haven’t changed Instructor, but frankly, I’m surprised to see you in a bar. I didn’t think you even knew what these were.”
“Ha,ha…,” she trailed off, and spun around in an attempt to pointedly ignore him.
Unfortunately, Seifer knew her personality and so he sat down on the stool next to hers, making it his official mission of the night to annoy her as much as possible. Fujin and Raijin wandered off, after Seifer nonchalantly waved his hand at them, shooing them away. Quistis sighed again, though this time instead of despondency, it was saturated with annoyance. He’d always known the fastest way to push her buttons.
“So Instructor, it’s been a while. What exactly drove you to the bottle, huh?” he asked sarcastically.
“You know full well that I’m no longer an instructor, Seifer. It was all thanks to you, as a matter of fact,” she replied, her tone as frosty as Shiva’s Diamond Dust.
Seifer scoffed in disbelief. When he spoke again, his words were laced with unbridled anger. “Is that what you tell yourself at night? It’s easier to blame all the shit that goes on in your guys’ lives on me, isn’t it?”
“You know what, Seifer? This is my pity party. Go find your own.”
“Nah, I think I’ll stay right here. You’re obviously enjoying my company. I’m surprised, Instructor-” Quistis cringed outwardly this time. He had to be doing that on purpose. “-You’re like a completely different person when you’re drunk. In fact, I think I could even say you’re fun.”
“Ugh…”
Quistis raised her momentarily forgotten glass swiftly to her lips, and swallowed the bitter liquid inside in one gulp. Seifer made a low sound of admiration that oddly, sent shivers down her spine. She shifted uncomfortably at the unexpected sensation.
“Wow, I’m impressed. Never expected that from you, Instructor.”
Frustrated at his insistence on calling her ‘Instructor’ after she’d told him not to, Quistis quickly clambered off the stool, stumbling slightly at the sudden motion. The soles of her boots stuck to the floor; the aged, syrupy consistency of spilled alcoholic beverages impeded her ability to regain her balance.
“Enough, Seifer! I am not an Instructor, and you know it!” she exclaimed, as she swiped her arm through the air in a dismissive motion.
Seifer whirled around on his stool, his black glove grasping the edge of the bar tightly for support, as she’d done herself only a few minutes ago.
“I’m sorry Quistis, did I strike a nerve? Am I annoying you? Do you want me to go?!” he needled.
Her pale blue eyes narrowed and she planted her hands firmly on her hips in her signature pose. “Don’t you dare pin this on me. I was here first.”
“Wow, nice reasoning. That was something a five year old would say.”
Quistis threw her hands up in the air as a sharp exhalation of air left her lips. She swiftly pivoted on her heel and stalked towards the door, fed up with his behavior and the fact that he’d interrupted her night. “By all means Seifer, take the bar. I’ll simply go somewhere else.”
Before she could reach the door, the bartender’s throat clearing caught her attention. She froze and slowly turned around, facing the bar again. He was gazing at her expectantly and she trudged back over to him, scrounging in her pocket for Gil. She tossed a hundred casually onto the counter, not particularly caring that she just left a huge amount of money for the tip. She stalked back to the front door again, the feel of Seifer’s heated gaze boring into the back of her head, as her boots sharply clicked against the concrete floor. The door flew open and banged against the outer wall due to her unnecessary force, and she stepped out into the warm, Balamb night.
Once the door had swung shut behind her, she took a deep breath, reveling in the sensation of the breeze rushing into her lungs. She closed her eyes and tried to regain the composure she was well known for having. After a few seconds of therapeutic breathing, she turned and started to head towards Balamb’s front gate.
Now that she had time to reflect again, she found that thoughts of Seifer coursed through her mind, rather than of the day’s events. What were the chances of seeing Seifer here, in Balamb, in the same bar she’d been at? Not only that, why had he decided to sit down next to her? He could’ve easily ignored her, choosing instead to walk back out. Because of her involvement in the war, she was easily recognized in both her civilian clothing and official SeeD uniform. Regardless of that fact though, Seifer would’ve recognized her even faster than a civilian would have. They had history, after all.
Was it because he was essentially still the same boy she’d known at Garden? Back then, he’d had a sarcastic comment ready to retaliate to every single thing she’d said to him. He’d always sought out ways to irritate her; pushing over piles of graded tests she’d had on her desk, speaking out of turn during her lessons, and making sure to come in late to class every, single, day. Was that what he’d been doing tonight when he’d sat down beside her and called her ‘Instructor’ at every opportunity?
She shook her head quickly, frustrated that she was even allowing him to haunt her thoughts like this. The past was over and done with, and none of them had anything to do with Seifer any longer. She’d seen him, they’d spoken briefly, and then she’d left. That was all tonight was. If word got back to anyone at Garden that they’d been seen together, that’s exactly what she’d tell them.
The sound of her boots on the asphalt of the path that led back to Garden, echoed around her. The moonlight reflected off the surface of the ocean; a single white streak from the moon’s reflection cut through the dark, almost black waves. The sand on the beach glowed a pale periwinkle, and even from where Quistis stood a few feet away, she could see the fineness of the grains. The rolling meadow that lay between Garden and Balamb surrounded her and the gentle breeze that drifted through the valley caressed the blades of grass, causing them to waver slightly. The two locks of hair that framed her face also swayed with the motion of the wind and she smiled fondly at the beautiful landscape.
The sights helped calm her and she walked the rest of the way back to Garden in silence. She normally rented a car or used one of the standard issued vehicles they had in the parking garage, but she knew she’d be drinking and had chosen to walk to town instead. Now, she was grateful for the decision she’d made because the walk was helping her sober up. She was human, so she didn’t expect any of her friends to judge her for drinking her problems away. If they asked though, she’d have to explain why she’d chosen to get drunk and that was a conversation she didn’t particularly want to have just yet.
Her thoughts started to drift back to what Rinoa had told her earlier and she shook her head fervently trying to rid herself of thoughts she knew would only send her spiraling downwards again. They all deserved happiness, and she was glad that Squall and Rinoa had found that in each other. She was happy for them, really. She just needed to work on acting like it.
Seifer’s face, with the long, harsh scar marring his features, which she had to admit didn’t detract from his looks, popped into her head then. He’d always been handsome, even when he’d been younger. His broad shoulders were even more muscular than they’d been when he was eighteen, she’d easily noticed the contours of them through the strained fabric of his trench coat. The dry tone in his voice, that he’d had even as a teenager, had remained but it had deepened. It had become richer, more gravelly. It was...
Sexy...Oh Hyne, I need to stop, she thought frantically to herself, as she gripped her head with her gloved hands. It’s just Seifer. He hasn’t changed, I haven’t changed, nothing has changed. Remember that, Quistis!
That thought haunted her the rest of the way back to Garden, all the way up until she collapsed into her bed for the night. The last thing she saw in her mind, was the piercing azure gaze of Seifer’s eyes as she’d turned away from him at the bar.
Entry 2
This fic is set in the Final Fantasy XIII-2 universe during the course of the game and told in Hope Estheim's point of view. Thank you for letting me enter. The word count is a few hundred over 5,000.
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Beyond Time
I sighed in exhaustion, wincing as I rubbed my sore eyes. After spending nearly the whole day staring down at my computer screen, the words were beginning to blur and run together. Sleep was definitely in order, but we were days away from launching Bhunivelze into the sky and every second counted. The knowledge that millions of people were depending on me had helped keep my mind free of fatigue, but I was running on fumes and had been for the past several hours.
I took a deep breath as I braced my hands on the edges of my computer panel, glancing up from the screen to gaze around the room. Having the opportunity to see my life’s work come to fruition was more than a privilege, it was awe inspiring. I never could have guessed that I would go from a l’Cie on the run from the Sanctum to the Director of the most important research organization on the face of Gran Pulse – and at only twenty-four years of age. It almost seemed surreal. At times, I even wondered if I was in the middle of a very elaborate dream and kept biding my time until I would inevitably wake up.
A separate train of thought came screaming through my mind then, reminding me that I was not living in a fantasy, but had my feet firmly planted in cold reality. After all, none of my dreams were complete without Lightning’s presence in them. That’s how I knew I wasn’t dreaming, and thinking about her just made me want to fall asleep just so I could see her. She only existed in my dreams and memory now, which was something I had never considered a possibility. For the first few years after the fall of Cocoon, finding her had been my main driving force, and I had been willing to do almost anything to reach that goal. Discovering that she was in Valhalla and existing on a planet that no one had seen before made the realization that she might never get to return to our world crash into me with unimaginable weight.
An exhausted sigh escaped from behind my parted lips as I brought my eyes back to the timeline of Bhunivelze’s completion. All the graviton cores had been integrated into the shell and now the only thing left to do was keep them stable until the perfect moment. Cocoon’s crystal pillar was growing weaker by the hour and its collapse was imminent. Everyone’s survival depended on the success of levitating the New Cocoon and I lifted my eyes to the holographic screen stretching through the air above me, staring at the immense crystallized orb, vowing that I was not going to fail.
One particular dream suddenly came to the surface of my mind as I gazed up at Cocoon and a warm smile played across my lips as I remembered what it had felt like to actually be able to feel Lightning’s presence in my mind. Hearing her tell me that I was on the right path had fueled the fire in my belly and pushed me to strive for a better future.
Thinking about Lightning only made my thoughts turn to Serah. Her bravery and courage easily matched her sister’s, which was something I admired about the both of them. Sometimes, I sincerely wished that I could be out there with her and Noel, helping them search for Lightning. I would have gone in a heartbeat, if I had some way to gain their ability to leapfrog through the timeline – and if the weight of the world wasn’t on my shoulders.
I sighed again, sweeping my hands through my hair as I straightened and turned toward Alyssa who was crouched over her own computer panel, her fingers flying furiously over the surface as she typed.
“Alyssa, keep everyone on track while I’m gone, please. I’m going to take care of some files in my office then try to get some sleep.”
“No problem, Director,” she said, looking up at me just long enough to send a reassuring smile my way.
I tried smiling back, but my attempt fell flat. I blamed it on the lack of sleep as well as the amount of stress I had been under since waking up at the crack of dawn. Working all day without so much as a lunch break was also a contributing factor. I was now faced with the dilemma of deciding if I was hungry enough to bother with finding something to eat before collapsing into bed.
I shook my head as I dragged my feet along an erratic path down the hall toward my office. Sleep is way more important. I’ll worry about eating when I wake up.
I breathed an enormous sigh of relief once my office door slid shut behind me, leaning back against it and wishing I could just go to sleep right there. I groaned as I brought my hands to my face and roughly rubbed my eyes again, trying to rejuvenate them long enough to look through the files that required my attention. My shoulders slumped when my eyes landed on the large computer screen situated on the top of my desk, knowing how much work was waiting for me, and the temptation to leave and pretend none of it existed nearly won out.
I sighed again as I pushed away from the door and trudged over to the wall where the food replicator was. I needed something to help keep me awake, or I wasn’t going to get anything done.
“Computer,” I began hoarsely, earning a series of blips from the machine signalling that it was listening. “Hot coffee with cream and sugar, please.”
The panel emanated a soft glow as a white ceramic mug materialized with my coffee inside it before once again going dark. I gently lifted it and blew across the top of the steaming liquid while going to sit behind my desk. I took a moment to lean back in my chair and slowly sip my coffee, enjoying the rare silence.
Being the director of the Academy, I didn’t get very much privacy, since there was always something that needed my signature or a meeting that required my presence. It sometimes made me wonder how they had survived so long without me while Alyssa and I had been asleep. The fact that the people I had left in charge were able to keep everything in order made me exceptionally proud. I only wished it was possible for me to thank them.
I took one final sip from my mug before setting it down on the edge of my desk and swept my fingers across the computer screen, bringing it to life. I wasted no time in opening all the files that I needed to work on, separating them into groups on the screen. There were about a dozen applications from Academy interns who were requesting jobs in confidential research areas, and I was the one that decided whether or not they would be sent to those of their choosing. Of course, they would be sent wherever they were needed, but I always tried to take their choices into consideration. The ceremony for the newest graduating class from the Academy College’s central university was taking place in less than a week, in conjunction with the celebration of levitating Bhunivelze, and the file I needed to skim through concerning that was considerable. Not to mention all the requests for new research equipment and supplies from different sites around Gran Pulse that needed my authorization.
I paused to take a deep breath. I might be here longer than I anticipated, I thought, staring at the screen with trepidation.
I took another deeper breath and flexed my hands, deciding to start with the equipment and supply requests. Those were the easiest and didn’t require very much time on my part to complete. I took one more drink from my mug, then immersed myself into my work, knowing the longer I stalled, the longer it would be before I would be able to go to sleep.
It took me about an hour to approve the supply requests and send them off, which actually wasn’t that bad, so I felt daring enough to move on to the applications. I wasn’t quite sure where my second wind had come from, but I was thankful for it. Reading through the file for the graduation and Bhunivelze levitation celebration would consume a large chunk of time, and I wanted to save it for last.
I had just finished reading through the first application, and was taking down a few notes on that particular intern’s strengths, when...something happened.
I couldn’t properly describe what it was exactly, but it seemed as though the very atmosphere in the room had become charged, making the air palpable around me. I leaned back in my chair and glanced about, a deep frown marring my features, as I tried to analyze exactly what I was experiencing. The closest comparison I could use to describe it was standing outside during an electrical storm. The space was the same as it had always been though; nothing had changed about it physically, so I had no idea what was causing these phantom sensations.
Then, just as I was about to force myself to focus on my work, a space time distortion began to form right in the middle of my office. I rapidly blinked my eyes and rubbed them, thinking my exhaustion was beginning to make me hallucinate, but the rift was still there and had become even more defined. For many long moments, nothing else happened. The silence grew, nearly choking me with its heaviness. My gaze was locked on the distortion, my body frozen like a statue. I suddenly felt a thrill of excitement race down my spine in anticipation of what I was about to witness.
What, if anything, was going to step out of that rift?
What happened next made me spring backwards out of my chair, knocking my coffee mug off my desk and sending it crashing to the floor in the process. I pressed myself against the wall behind me, my heart pounding in my throat. I knew then that I had to be hallucinating, but I was praying to Etro that I wasn’t. Never before had I prayed so fervently.
Oh, Maker, please let me not be dreaming.
Lightning stepped out of the rift, still as vibrant and beautiful as the last time I saw her, wearing a shining suit of armor adorned with a flowing feather skirt. My eyes were fixated on her, as if they were witnessing the grand reveal of the finest piece of art in existence, but my mind was still unable to grasp that she could really be here with me, and in my office of all places. Her face, which hadn’t come close to fading from my memories, seemed so different somehow. In fact, everything about her seemed different. I felt…as though I was in the presence of a deity.
That’s when she laughed, and I couldn’t stop myself from gasping. “What’s the matter, Hope?” she asked, a whimsical smile turning one corner of her mouth up. “It’s like you’ve seen a ghost.”
I gaped dumbly at her, my mind completely blank. To be honest, I had envisioned seeing her again for years and none of those scenarios had even come close to this. What was I supposed to say? What was I supposed to do?
“Light?” I choked out, laboring to speak because my throat was suddenly parched.
Her smile widened and she nodded, turning and walking around my office like she had done so many times before in my imagination. Now that I could believe. I had always envisioned that once she found her way back home, she would visit me like this on a regular basis, asking me how my work was progressing, giving me advice, and listening to me like she did when I was young. Of course, that was nothing more than wishful thinking.
“How?” I asked, unable to form a full coherent sentence yet.
She sighed, running a gloved finger across the surface of my desk as she walked along it, staring down at the contents intently. “I’m only technically able to leave Valhalla for a short amount of time, but I’ve been choosing not to. The Goddess has employed me as her Guardian, and without me, she is left defenseless.”
I nodded and took a deep breath, still attempting to regain my bearings. “I-I know this is going to sound strange, but why did you come here?” I asked, nervously rubbing my hands on the legs of my pants because I was at a loss for what to do with them. I was hoping that she had come to see me, but I didn’t want to start assuming things.
She chuckled. “I would think that answer is obvious,” she replied, meeting my gaze and grinning, her cerulean eyes shimmering against the near darkness of the room. My breath caught in my throat, not surprised that her penetrating stare hadn’t lost any of its potency.
I laughed nervously and looked away from her. “I have to admit I’m honored. I’m sure I’m not the only you’ve visited.” Even though seeing her again after so long felt phenomenal, I knew it was much more important for her to visit her sister instead of me. I couldn’t bring myself to believe she’d neglected that.
She nodded and folded her arms over her chest. “I’ve already seen Serah.” She paused, a delicate smile gracing her features as she thought about her sister, and I was struck speechless by the beauty that fell over her countenance then.
“I wish I could have stayed with her longer,” she murmured.
Silence spread through the room as Lightning looked down at her feet and I stood on the other side of my desk, fidgeting like an idiot.
Snap out of it, Hope! my mind screamed at me. You’ve been waiting to see this woman for hundreds of years, and now that she’s here you’re just gonna stand here and stare at her? Get a grip!
I had to force my legs to carry me around my desk before I lost my nerve and remained rooted to the spot. It was amazing that she could have the same effect on me after years of separation. All of a sudden, I was that same scared and confused fourteen year old from so long ago. My breath hitched in my throat as I lifted a shaking hand, hovering it above her shoulder for a few eternally long seconds. I took a deep, calming breath and steadied my hand before gently cupping it around her shoulder plate. She looked up at me with a guarded expression on her face, and my mind momentarily went blank.
I swallowed nervously, my throat constricting to the point of uselessness, but I managed to choke out, “I really missed you.”
Her stoic mask shifted and a rare, genuine smile spread across her lips as she averted her eyes away from me. “That’s comforting to hear,” she replied, stepping away from me to continue slowly pacing around the room. “And here I thought everyone had forgotten about me.”
“I could never forget about you – that’s impossible,” I told her, my voice softened with disbelief.
One corner of her mouth curled up ever so slightly as she glanced over at me for a brief moment before setting her gaze on the space time distortion that was swirling forlornly in the middle of my office. She was silent as she stared into the yellow glowing mass, the light emanating from it reflected off her eyes.
“Coming back to the real world after being in Valhalla for so long feels unnatural.”
“What’s it like there?” I asked, the scientist in me holding genuine interest.
She breathed in deeply through her nose and sighed. “Lonely,” she answered, her voice a mere whisper. “It’s…really good to see you again, Hope. I’m sorry for not coming to see you sooner. Time is nonexistent in Valhalla, so it’s been too easy to lose track of it.”
I shook my head. “You don’t have to apologize,” I said, my voice low. “I understand.”
She closed her eyes then, and anguish suddenly filled her features, twisting her face into a pain filled grimace. My heart ached just looking at it and it took an insane amount of will power to prevent myself from going to comfort her. As I stood there statue-like, she bowed her head, her messy pink bangs obscuring most of her face, and the spreading silence seemed to press in on me from all sides.
“I know how much my disappearance hurt you,” she whispered, her leather gloves creaking in protest as she clenched her hands into tight fists. “I’ll never be able to make up for all those years of wondering you had to endure, and I don’t expect you to understand. I’m so sorry.”
My legs carried me forward of their own volition and I curled my hands around her upper arms, squeezing them gently. “Please don’t blame yourself,” I whispered back, my voice shaking. “It wasn’t your fault. None of what happened is your fault.”
She sighed heavily, refusing to meet my eyes. “I know,” she replied, trailing off. I had the feeling that there was more she wanted to say, so I remained silent, allowing her the chance to put her thoughts into words. “As much as I wish I could come home, my duty is to the Goddess now.”
My grip on her arms tightened ever so slightly. “I’m…I mean, all of us are trying to figure out a way to get you out of there. We want to bring you home.”
“One thing at a time, Hope,” she corrected, reaching her left hand around to rest upon my own.
I stared down at her gloved hand with longing, elated at finally feeling her touch after so long. All the years of waiting, all the prayers and wishes that had gone unanswered, had finally all been worth it.
“Right,” she said, pulling me out of my thoughts and taking her hand off of mine before folding her arms across her stomach. I reluctantly removed my hands from her arms as well, letting them hang limply by my sides. “I came here for a reason, and you keep distracting me.” She didn’t show any outward emotion on her face, but I could tell by the way her eyes glowed that she wasn’t being overly serious.
I nodded, knowing that her time was running out. “My apologies. Go ahead.”
She stepped away from me and once again began pacing around my office. “It became evident to me, once the Goddess showed me the timeline, that you have an aggravating habit of getting yourself killed.” She paused and leveled me with a critical eye. “When did creating an artificial fal’Cie ever sound like a wise decision?”
“You mean Adam,” I replied, nodding. “Fortunately for me, your sister and Noel saved me from making that mistake twice.”
“Yes, I know,” she said, staring down at the floor in silence. After a few moments she breathed in deeply and looked back up at me. “I’m going to be blunt. My time is running out and I don’t have the luxury to dance around this issue.” She swiftly crossed the room, coming to stand in front of me with determination shining in her eyes.
“Watching you die affected me more than I thought it would. To be frank, I don’t ever want to be subjected to that again. I ordered you to survive, but it seems like you need a reminder,” she almost growled, the authority in her voice making me shrink back slightly.
She suddenly averted her eyes away from me, a scowl marring her face, and I was left stunned. I knew then that I had to be dreaming. To hear her confess something so profound, words I had fantasized hearing from her, seemed so impossible. I wasn’t going to let such a chance slip away from me, though. If I never saw her again, after today I wanted to make sure she knew exactly how I felt about her.
Without any sign of hesitation, I placed my hands on her shoulders, curling my fingers around the metal decorating them, and turned her to face me. After locking onto her eyes for only a moment, gathering up the confidence I needed, I cupped her face and leaned down, pressing my mouth against hers.
Immediately, it felt like a bomb had gone off in my head, sending out shockwaves of pure ecstasy that coursed through the rest of me.
Kissing her was more amazing than I ever could have imagined. Cocoon’s pillar could have come crashing down right then and I wouldn’t have even noticed.
When she snaked her hand around behind my head and twisted her fingers into my hair, pulling her body flush against mine, I was overcome with mirth. My hands slowly drifted down her arms, softly ghosting over her skin, and came to rest low on her hips, pressing firmly into the leather of her corset. A low groan emanated from my chest when she sucked my bottom lip into her mouth and began to gently tease it with her tongue.
I suddenly felt an overwhelming need to do a little confessing of my own and, even though I would have preferred to continue kissing her, I had to say it soon or she may never hear it. Gingerly raising my hand to her cheek, I pulled away and stared into her eyes meaningfully, searching her gaze, hoping to read something of my own feelings in those cerulean depths. She frowned, her eyes darkening like angry storm clouds, and reached up to grip my tie, trying to pull me back down to her. My last shred of willpower was nearly destroyed when her lips brushed against mine, and I had to force myself to pull away from her once more.
“Wait, wait,” I muttered, closing my eyes and breathing in deeply through my nose as I tried to unravel my tangled thoughts.
“What?” she asked, her eyebrow arching dangerously.
“I should have told you this ages ago, Light,” I said, swallowing heavily. “I love you.”
Her unreadable expression never faltered, but, right when I began to feel extremely foolish for standing there slack jawed, a joyful glint passed through her eyes that made my heart seize in my chest. She fisted her other hand in the material of my uniform, slowly and meticulously pulling me back toward her until our faces were only a hairsbreadth apart. I pressed my right hand against the base of her back, craving the closeness of her body, and moved to bridge the remaining distance between us.
Right before our lips met, she murmured, “Shut up, Hope. You talk too much.” Then she crushed her mouth against mine and shoved me up against the wall.
A possessive growl tore up my throat as she pressed herself against me, causing me to tighten my grip on her even further. She didn’t have to say that she loved me as well; her actions spoke louder than her words, as they always had. Her lips were like a hot branding iron, searing our mouths together and turning my blood to molten metal. There was no way to properly describe the euphoria rapidly overtaking me, rendering me completely intoxicated. All I knew was that I didn’t want her to leave now. Not when she finally knew how I felt about her, and even reciprocated those feelings.
When we eventually broke apart, both of us gasping for breath, I had no idea how much time had passed, but I didn’t care. I stared down at her, one corner of my mouth curled upwards in a sly grin. “You know, it’s only going to be harder for me to say good bye to you now, right?”
She nodded, her hands clinging to the collar of my uniform. “I’m sorry for being so selfish,” she replied, hanging her head. “I know I might not see you again, but I still wanted this chance.”
My throat dried up, and I had to swallow a couple times before I was able to speak again. “So this is it?” I asked, a scowl darkening my face. “This is all we get?” When she offered no reply, my rib cage clenched around my heart like a vice. “Nothing about this is fair.”
“I know, but life never is,” she replied, glancing over her shoulder at the distortion, the silence between us stretching on for many long moments. “Valhalla is calling me back.”
A sense of panic immediately fell over me and my hands went rigid where they were resting on her waist, preventing her from breaking away from me. “Please, Light, don’t go,” I pleaded. “I need you here. We all do.”
She turned her focused gaze back to me and sighed heavily, her arms falling back to her sides. “It’s not like I have a choice in the matter, Hope. If it was up to me, I never would have left all of you in the first place.”
My shoulders slumped and I reluctantly pulled my hands away from her to brace them on my hips, at a loss for what to do or say next. It was like I had finally been given everything I ever wanted, then had it ripped right back out of my grasp before I could even enjoy it.
Lightning, noticing the look of displeasure on my face, promptly turned and started walking toward the distortion. “I know it was wrong of me. I shouldn’t have come.”
Her voice was laced with so much sorrow that it nearly broke my heart. I lunged after her, capturing her wrist right before she could enter the distortion. “Don’t say that! I am glad you came,” I said insistently as I drew her back into my embrace, all the while inwardly begging that she wouldn’t pull away and jump into the distortion without a proper goodbye. “Please don’t regret it, because I don’t.”
She whirled around as fast as her namesake, capturing my face between her hands, and pressed her rips roughly against mine. I breathed in sharply through my nose, taken off guard by her sudden attack, but elated by it. I threw my arms around her and crushed her to my chest, translating the passion I felt for her into this last kiss. I wanted her to remember what it felt like to have my body pressed so tightly against hers. I wanted her to remember me as the man I had become, not scared and angry boy I was the last time we were together. I wanted to give her something to hold onto: the hope of a future not only with her sister, but with me as well.
We reluctantly separated, and she began backing away from me, but continued to firmly clutch my hand. “Don’t forget me.”
“Never,” I replied, my voice cracking as I shook my head.
I grimaced as the desperation I felt threatened to tear me in half, the pain I was experiencing completely different from everything else I had encountered up to this point. I wanted to go with her so badly and even though a part of me genuinely believed that she wanted to stay with me too, I knew that the both of us had important parts to play in the fate of our world. The Goddess needed her in Valhalla and everyone else needed me here in Academia.
As soon as she stepped into the distortion, she started to become insubstantial, almost ghostlike, gradually fading away as she began to return to Valhalla. Her hand slipped out of my grasp and, try as I might, I could no longer feel her touch. She smiled at me, her face shining brighter than the sun, and I couldn’t help but offer her a small sad smile in return.
“I love you too, Hope,” she whispered, the quiet words barely audible before both she and the distortion disappeared.
For many minutes after she left, I stood in the deafening silence of my office, and felt as though the space had been turned into a vacuum. Drawing air into my lungs was nigh impossible, especially after hearing the last thing that she had said.
I started backing up toward my desk, my vision swimming, but my legs were like lead weights, and they refused to allow me to use them. When the backs of my thighs suddenly touched my desk, I sighed in relief and sunk onto it, the strength seeping out of my muscles like water through a sieve. I stared down at the ground in shock and disbelief, my eyes wide.
Did all of this really just happen? I asked myself.
I knew it was real. She had really been here with me. I had actually kissed her and she had really kissed me back. In fact, I could still hear her voice ringing in my ears, still taste her on my lips. As much as the doubting part of my mind wanted to tell me that it had all just been some elaborate hallucination, I knew the truth.
A soft knock on the door before it slid open shook me out of my scattered thoughts, and I glanced up to see Alyssa staring at me questioningly. “Are you okay, Director?” she asked, hesitantly stepping inside my office. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
Not quite hearing what she said, I met her gaze, my eyes still wide, and took a few moments to answer. I straightened up, the earlier heaviness I had experienced in my legs now thankfully long gone, and smoothed my hands over my uniform jacket, adjusting my tie.
“I’m fine,” I answered, not believing the even tone of my own voice. “Just lost in thought. My exhaustion is catching up with me.”
I went back behind my desk, staring down at my broken coffee cup for a few seconds – more proof that Lightning had indeed been here – and promptly switched my computer screen off. “Was there something you needed, Alyssa?”
“Oh, um,” she began, shifting her feet nervously. “I was just wondering if you wanted to go get something to eat? You look famished.
”My eyes found their way back to the shattered cup and m ybrows twitched ever so slightly. I was fully aware of Alyssa’s crush on me and, as much as I wanted to tell her that pursuing me was a futile endeavor, I didn’t want to upset the working relationship that we shared. I was perfectly fine with pretending I was oblivious to her advances as long as she never tried being a little too bold.
Unfortunately, Alyssa, I prefer my women a little more battle hardened, I thought, fighting the smirk that wanted to turn up the corners of my mouth.
“I was actually just on my way home. It’s been a very long day and I’m tired,” I answered, walking to the door and standing beside it, prompting it to slide open. “Thank you for the invitation though.”
She sighed loudly as she stepped toward the open doorway, unafraid to let her displeasure over my refusal show. “Alright then. Some other time, I guess,” she said, meandering past me and waving. “Sleep well, Director. See you tomorrow.”
I nodded and allowed the door to slide shut, sighing heavily as I rubbed a hand down my face, glad that she hadn’t been adamant about me coming with her. After waiting a few more moments to make sure I wouldn’t run into her in the halls, I walked out of my office and left the Academy building, not surprised to see the dark streets of Academia deserted at such a late hour.
I stuffed my hands into my pockets, bunching my shoulders up to my ears at the slight chill in the air, and quickened my pace. The ghost of a smile made the corners of my lips twitch, my mind consumed with thoughts of Lightning as I replayed our encounter over and over in my head as I walked. Those few short moments with her couldn’t have gone any more perfect. My wish to have the ability to go back in time just to relive that moment had never been stronger.
As soon as I entered my apartment, I quickly undressed and collapsed into bed, wanting nothing more than to see Lightning in my dreams.
For now, I thought as I drifted off to sleep. I’ll find you, somehow.
---
Beyond Time
I sighed in exhaustion, wincing as I rubbed my sore eyes. After spending nearly the whole day staring down at my computer screen, the words were beginning to blur and run together. Sleep was definitely in order, but we were days away from launching Bhunivelze into the sky and every second counted. The knowledge that millions of people were depending on me had helped keep my mind free of fatigue, but I was running on fumes and had been for the past several hours.
I took a deep breath as I braced my hands on the edges of my computer panel, glancing up from the screen to gaze around the room. Having the opportunity to see my life’s work come to fruition was more than a privilege, it was awe inspiring. I never could have guessed that I would go from a l’Cie on the run from the Sanctum to the Director of the most important research organization on the face of Gran Pulse – and at only twenty-four years of age. It almost seemed surreal. At times, I even wondered if I was in the middle of a very elaborate dream and kept biding my time until I would inevitably wake up.
A separate train of thought came screaming through my mind then, reminding me that I was not living in a fantasy, but had my feet firmly planted in cold reality. After all, none of my dreams were complete without Lightning’s presence in them. That’s how I knew I wasn’t dreaming, and thinking about her just made me want to fall asleep just so I could see her. She only existed in my dreams and memory now, which was something I had never considered a possibility. For the first few years after the fall of Cocoon, finding her had been my main driving force, and I had been willing to do almost anything to reach that goal. Discovering that she was in Valhalla and existing on a planet that no one had seen before made the realization that she might never get to return to our world crash into me with unimaginable weight.
An exhausted sigh escaped from behind my parted lips as I brought my eyes back to the timeline of Bhunivelze’s completion. All the graviton cores had been integrated into the shell and now the only thing left to do was keep them stable until the perfect moment. Cocoon’s crystal pillar was growing weaker by the hour and its collapse was imminent. Everyone’s survival depended on the success of levitating the New Cocoon and I lifted my eyes to the holographic screen stretching through the air above me, staring at the immense crystallized orb, vowing that I was not going to fail.
One particular dream suddenly came to the surface of my mind as I gazed up at Cocoon and a warm smile played across my lips as I remembered what it had felt like to actually be able to feel Lightning’s presence in my mind. Hearing her tell me that I was on the right path had fueled the fire in my belly and pushed me to strive for a better future.
Thinking about Lightning only made my thoughts turn to Serah. Her bravery and courage easily matched her sister’s, which was something I admired about the both of them. Sometimes, I sincerely wished that I could be out there with her and Noel, helping them search for Lightning. I would have gone in a heartbeat, if I had some way to gain their ability to leapfrog through the timeline – and if the weight of the world wasn’t on my shoulders.
I sighed again, sweeping my hands through my hair as I straightened and turned toward Alyssa who was crouched over her own computer panel, her fingers flying furiously over the surface as she typed.
“Alyssa, keep everyone on track while I’m gone, please. I’m going to take care of some files in my office then try to get some sleep.”
“No problem, Director,” she said, looking up at me just long enough to send a reassuring smile my way.
I tried smiling back, but my attempt fell flat. I blamed it on the lack of sleep as well as the amount of stress I had been under since waking up at the crack of dawn. Working all day without so much as a lunch break was also a contributing factor. I was now faced with the dilemma of deciding if I was hungry enough to bother with finding something to eat before collapsing into bed.
I shook my head as I dragged my feet along an erratic path down the hall toward my office. Sleep is way more important. I’ll worry about eating when I wake up.
I breathed an enormous sigh of relief once my office door slid shut behind me, leaning back against it and wishing I could just go to sleep right there. I groaned as I brought my hands to my face and roughly rubbed my eyes again, trying to rejuvenate them long enough to look through the files that required my attention. My shoulders slumped when my eyes landed on the large computer screen situated on the top of my desk, knowing how much work was waiting for me, and the temptation to leave and pretend none of it existed nearly won out.
I sighed again as I pushed away from the door and trudged over to the wall where the food replicator was. I needed something to help keep me awake, or I wasn’t going to get anything done.
“Computer,” I began hoarsely, earning a series of blips from the machine signalling that it was listening. “Hot coffee with cream and sugar, please.”
The panel emanated a soft glow as a white ceramic mug materialized with my coffee inside it before once again going dark. I gently lifted it and blew across the top of the steaming liquid while going to sit behind my desk. I took a moment to lean back in my chair and slowly sip my coffee, enjoying the rare silence.
Being the director of the Academy, I didn’t get very much privacy, since there was always something that needed my signature or a meeting that required my presence. It sometimes made me wonder how they had survived so long without me while Alyssa and I had been asleep. The fact that the people I had left in charge were able to keep everything in order made me exceptionally proud. I only wished it was possible for me to thank them.
I took one final sip from my mug before setting it down on the edge of my desk and swept my fingers across the computer screen, bringing it to life. I wasted no time in opening all the files that I needed to work on, separating them into groups on the screen. There were about a dozen applications from Academy interns who were requesting jobs in confidential research areas, and I was the one that decided whether or not they would be sent to those of their choosing. Of course, they would be sent wherever they were needed, but I always tried to take their choices into consideration. The ceremony for the newest graduating class from the Academy College’s central university was taking place in less than a week, in conjunction with the celebration of levitating Bhunivelze, and the file I needed to skim through concerning that was considerable. Not to mention all the requests for new research equipment and supplies from different sites around Gran Pulse that needed my authorization.
I paused to take a deep breath. I might be here longer than I anticipated, I thought, staring at the screen with trepidation.
I took another deeper breath and flexed my hands, deciding to start with the equipment and supply requests. Those were the easiest and didn’t require very much time on my part to complete. I took one more drink from my mug, then immersed myself into my work, knowing the longer I stalled, the longer it would be before I would be able to go to sleep.
It took me about an hour to approve the supply requests and send them off, which actually wasn’t that bad, so I felt daring enough to move on to the applications. I wasn’t quite sure where my second wind had come from, but I was thankful for it. Reading through the file for the graduation and Bhunivelze levitation celebration would consume a large chunk of time, and I wanted to save it for last.
I had just finished reading through the first application, and was taking down a few notes on that particular intern’s strengths, when...something happened.
I couldn’t properly describe what it was exactly, but it seemed as though the very atmosphere in the room had become charged, making the air palpable around me. I leaned back in my chair and glanced about, a deep frown marring my features, as I tried to analyze exactly what I was experiencing. The closest comparison I could use to describe it was standing outside during an electrical storm. The space was the same as it had always been though; nothing had changed about it physically, so I had no idea what was causing these phantom sensations.
Then, just as I was about to force myself to focus on my work, a space time distortion began to form right in the middle of my office. I rapidly blinked my eyes and rubbed them, thinking my exhaustion was beginning to make me hallucinate, but the rift was still there and had become even more defined. For many long moments, nothing else happened. The silence grew, nearly choking me with its heaviness. My gaze was locked on the distortion, my body frozen like a statue. I suddenly felt a thrill of excitement race down my spine in anticipation of what I was about to witness.
What, if anything, was going to step out of that rift?
What happened next made me spring backwards out of my chair, knocking my coffee mug off my desk and sending it crashing to the floor in the process. I pressed myself against the wall behind me, my heart pounding in my throat. I knew then that I had to be hallucinating, but I was praying to Etro that I wasn’t. Never before had I prayed so fervently.
Oh, Maker, please let me not be dreaming.
Lightning stepped out of the rift, still as vibrant and beautiful as the last time I saw her, wearing a shining suit of armor adorned with a flowing feather skirt. My eyes were fixated on her, as if they were witnessing the grand reveal of the finest piece of art in existence, but my mind was still unable to grasp that she could really be here with me, and in my office of all places. Her face, which hadn’t come close to fading from my memories, seemed so different somehow. In fact, everything about her seemed different. I felt…as though I was in the presence of a deity.
That’s when she laughed, and I couldn’t stop myself from gasping. “What’s the matter, Hope?” she asked, a whimsical smile turning one corner of her mouth up. “It’s like you’ve seen a ghost.”
I gaped dumbly at her, my mind completely blank. To be honest, I had envisioned seeing her again for years and none of those scenarios had even come close to this. What was I supposed to say? What was I supposed to do?
“Light?” I choked out, laboring to speak because my throat was suddenly parched.
Her smile widened and she nodded, turning and walking around my office like she had done so many times before in my imagination. Now that I could believe. I had always envisioned that once she found her way back home, she would visit me like this on a regular basis, asking me how my work was progressing, giving me advice, and listening to me like she did when I was young. Of course, that was nothing more than wishful thinking.
“How?” I asked, unable to form a full coherent sentence yet.
She sighed, running a gloved finger across the surface of my desk as she walked along it, staring down at the contents intently. “I’m only technically able to leave Valhalla for a short amount of time, but I’ve been choosing not to. The Goddess has employed me as her Guardian, and without me, she is left defenseless.”
I nodded and took a deep breath, still attempting to regain my bearings. “I-I know this is going to sound strange, but why did you come here?” I asked, nervously rubbing my hands on the legs of my pants because I was at a loss for what to do with them. I was hoping that she had come to see me, but I didn’t want to start assuming things.
She chuckled. “I would think that answer is obvious,” she replied, meeting my gaze and grinning, her cerulean eyes shimmering against the near darkness of the room. My breath caught in my throat, not surprised that her penetrating stare hadn’t lost any of its potency.
I laughed nervously and looked away from her. “I have to admit I’m honored. I’m sure I’m not the only you’ve visited.” Even though seeing her again after so long felt phenomenal, I knew it was much more important for her to visit her sister instead of me. I couldn’t bring myself to believe she’d neglected that.
She nodded and folded her arms over her chest. “I’ve already seen Serah.” She paused, a delicate smile gracing her features as she thought about her sister, and I was struck speechless by the beauty that fell over her countenance then.
“I wish I could have stayed with her longer,” she murmured.
Silence spread through the room as Lightning looked down at her feet and I stood on the other side of my desk, fidgeting like an idiot.
Snap out of it, Hope! my mind screamed at me. You’ve been waiting to see this woman for hundreds of years, and now that she’s here you’re just gonna stand here and stare at her? Get a grip!
I had to force my legs to carry me around my desk before I lost my nerve and remained rooted to the spot. It was amazing that she could have the same effect on me after years of separation. All of a sudden, I was that same scared and confused fourteen year old from so long ago. My breath hitched in my throat as I lifted a shaking hand, hovering it above her shoulder for a few eternally long seconds. I took a deep, calming breath and steadied my hand before gently cupping it around her shoulder plate. She looked up at me with a guarded expression on her face, and my mind momentarily went blank.
I swallowed nervously, my throat constricting to the point of uselessness, but I managed to choke out, “I really missed you.”
Her stoic mask shifted and a rare, genuine smile spread across her lips as she averted her eyes away from me. “That’s comforting to hear,” she replied, stepping away from me to continue slowly pacing around the room. “And here I thought everyone had forgotten about me.”
“I could never forget about you – that’s impossible,” I told her, my voice softened with disbelief.
One corner of her mouth curled up ever so slightly as she glanced over at me for a brief moment before setting her gaze on the space time distortion that was swirling forlornly in the middle of my office. She was silent as she stared into the yellow glowing mass, the light emanating from it reflected off her eyes.
“Coming back to the real world after being in Valhalla for so long feels unnatural.”
“What’s it like there?” I asked, the scientist in me holding genuine interest.
She breathed in deeply through her nose and sighed. “Lonely,” she answered, her voice a mere whisper. “It’s…really good to see you again, Hope. I’m sorry for not coming to see you sooner. Time is nonexistent in Valhalla, so it’s been too easy to lose track of it.”
I shook my head. “You don’t have to apologize,” I said, my voice low. “I understand.”
She closed her eyes then, and anguish suddenly filled her features, twisting her face into a pain filled grimace. My heart ached just looking at it and it took an insane amount of will power to prevent myself from going to comfort her. As I stood there statue-like, she bowed her head, her messy pink bangs obscuring most of her face, and the spreading silence seemed to press in on me from all sides.
“I know how much my disappearance hurt you,” she whispered, her leather gloves creaking in protest as she clenched her hands into tight fists. “I’ll never be able to make up for all those years of wondering you had to endure, and I don’t expect you to understand. I’m so sorry.”
My legs carried me forward of their own volition and I curled my hands around her upper arms, squeezing them gently. “Please don’t blame yourself,” I whispered back, my voice shaking. “It wasn’t your fault. None of what happened is your fault.”
She sighed heavily, refusing to meet my eyes. “I know,” she replied, trailing off. I had the feeling that there was more she wanted to say, so I remained silent, allowing her the chance to put her thoughts into words. “As much as I wish I could come home, my duty is to the Goddess now.”
My grip on her arms tightened ever so slightly. “I’m…I mean, all of us are trying to figure out a way to get you out of there. We want to bring you home.”
“One thing at a time, Hope,” she corrected, reaching her left hand around to rest upon my own.
I stared down at her gloved hand with longing, elated at finally feeling her touch after so long. All the years of waiting, all the prayers and wishes that had gone unanswered, had finally all been worth it.
“Right,” she said, pulling me out of my thoughts and taking her hand off of mine before folding her arms across her stomach. I reluctantly removed my hands from her arms as well, letting them hang limply by my sides. “I came here for a reason, and you keep distracting me.” She didn’t show any outward emotion on her face, but I could tell by the way her eyes glowed that she wasn’t being overly serious.
I nodded, knowing that her time was running out. “My apologies. Go ahead.”
She stepped away from me and once again began pacing around my office. “It became evident to me, once the Goddess showed me the timeline, that you have an aggravating habit of getting yourself killed.” She paused and leveled me with a critical eye. “When did creating an artificial fal’Cie ever sound like a wise decision?”
“You mean Adam,” I replied, nodding. “Fortunately for me, your sister and Noel saved me from making that mistake twice.”
“Yes, I know,” she said, staring down at the floor in silence. After a few moments she breathed in deeply and looked back up at me. “I’m going to be blunt. My time is running out and I don’t have the luxury to dance around this issue.” She swiftly crossed the room, coming to stand in front of me with determination shining in her eyes.
“Watching you die affected me more than I thought it would. To be frank, I don’t ever want to be subjected to that again. I ordered you to survive, but it seems like you need a reminder,” she almost growled, the authority in her voice making me shrink back slightly.
She suddenly averted her eyes away from me, a scowl marring her face, and I was left stunned. I knew then that I had to be dreaming. To hear her confess something so profound, words I had fantasized hearing from her, seemed so impossible. I wasn’t going to let such a chance slip away from me, though. If I never saw her again, after today I wanted to make sure she knew exactly how I felt about her.
Without any sign of hesitation, I placed my hands on her shoulders, curling my fingers around the metal decorating them, and turned her to face me. After locking onto her eyes for only a moment, gathering up the confidence I needed, I cupped her face and leaned down, pressing my mouth against hers.
Immediately, it felt like a bomb had gone off in my head, sending out shockwaves of pure ecstasy that coursed through the rest of me.
Kissing her was more amazing than I ever could have imagined. Cocoon’s pillar could have come crashing down right then and I wouldn’t have even noticed.
When she snaked her hand around behind my head and twisted her fingers into my hair, pulling her body flush against mine, I was overcome with mirth. My hands slowly drifted down her arms, softly ghosting over her skin, and came to rest low on her hips, pressing firmly into the leather of her corset. A low groan emanated from my chest when she sucked my bottom lip into her mouth and began to gently tease it with her tongue.
I suddenly felt an overwhelming need to do a little confessing of my own and, even though I would have preferred to continue kissing her, I had to say it soon or she may never hear it. Gingerly raising my hand to her cheek, I pulled away and stared into her eyes meaningfully, searching her gaze, hoping to read something of my own feelings in those cerulean depths. She frowned, her eyes darkening like angry storm clouds, and reached up to grip my tie, trying to pull me back down to her. My last shred of willpower was nearly destroyed when her lips brushed against mine, and I had to force myself to pull away from her once more.
“Wait, wait,” I muttered, closing my eyes and breathing in deeply through my nose as I tried to unravel my tangled thoughts.
“What?” she asked, her eyebrow arching dangerously.
“I should have told you this ages ago, Light,” I said, swallowing heavily. “I love you.”
Her unreadable expression never faltered, but, right when I began to feel extremely foolish for standing there slack jawed, a joyful glint passed through her eyes that made my heart seize in my chest. She fisted her other hand in the material of my uniform, slowly and meticulously pulling me back toward her until our faces were only a hairsbreadth apart. I pressed my right hand against the base of her back, craving the closeness of her body, and moved to bridge the remaining distance between us.
Right before our lips met, she murmured, “Shut up, Hope. You talk too much.” Then she crushed her mouth against mine and shoved me up against the wall.
A possessive growl tore up my throat as she pressed herself against me, causing me to tighten my grip on her even further. She didn’t have to say that she loved me as well; her actions spoke louder than her words, as they always had. Her lips were like a hot branding iron, searing our mouths together and turning my blood to molten metal. There was no way to properly describe the euphoria rapidly overtaking me, rendering me completely intoxicated. All I knew was that I didn’t want her to leave now. Not when she finally knew how I felt about her, and even reciprocated those feelings.
When we eventually broke apart, both of us gasping for breath, I had no idea how much time had passed, but I didn’t care. I stared down at her, one corner of my mouth curled upwards in a sly grin. “You know, it’s only going to be harder for me to say good bye to you now, right?”
She nodded, her hands clinging to the collar of my uniform. “I’m sorry for being so selfish,” she replied, hanging her head. “I know I might not see you again, but I still wanted this chance.”
My throat dried up, and I had to swallow a couple times before I was able to speak again. “So this is it?” I asked, a scowl darkening my face. “This is all we get?” When she offered no reply, my rib cage clenched around my heart like a vice. “Nothing about this is fair.”
“I know, but life never is,” she replied, glancing over her shoulder at the distortion, the silence between us stretching on for many long moments. “Valhalla is calling me back.”
A sense of panic immediately fell over me and my hands went rigid where they were resting on her waist, preventing her from breaking away from me. “Please, Light, don’t go,” I pleaded. “I need you here. We all do.”
She turned her focused gaze back to me and sighed heavily, her arms falling back to her sides. “It’s not like I have a choice in the matter, Hope. If it was up to me, I never would have left all of you in the first place.”
My shoulders slumped and I reluctantly pulled my hands away from her to brace them on my hips, at a loss for what to do or say next. It was like I had finally been given everything I ever wanted, then had it ripped right back out of my grasp before I could even enjoy it.
Lightning, noticing the look of displeasure on my face, promptly turned and started walking toward the distortion. “I know it was wrong of me. I shouldn’t have come.”
Her voice was laced with so much sorrow that it nearly broke my heart. I lunged after her, capturing her wrist right before she could enter the distortion. “Don’t say that! I am glad you came,” I said insistently as I drew her back into my embrace, all the while inwardly begging that she wouldn’t pull away and jump into the distortion without a proper goodbye. “Please don’t regret it, because I don’t.”
She whirled around as fast as her namesake, capturing my face between her hands, and pressed her rips roughly against mine. I breathed in sharply through my nose, taken off guard by her sudden attack, but elated by it. I threw my arms around her and crushed her to my chest, translating the passion I felt for her into this last kiss. I wanted her to remember what it felt like to have my body pressed so tightly against hers. I wanted her to remember me as the man I had become, not scared and angry boy I was the last time we were together. I wanted to give her something to hold onto: the hope of a future not only with her sister, but with me as well.
We reluctantly separated, and she began backing away from me, but continued to firmly clutch my hand. “Don’t forget me.”
“Never,” I replied, my voice cracking as I shook my head.
I grimaced as the desperation I felt threatened to tear me in half, the pain I was experiencing completely different from everything else I had encountered up to this point. I wanted to go with her so badly and even though a part of me genuinely believed that she wanted to stay with me too, I knew that the both of us had important parts to play in the fate of our world. The Goddess needed her in Valhalla and everyone else needed me here in Academia.
As soon as she stepped into the distortion, she started to become insubstantial, almost ghostlike, gradually fading away as she began to return to Valhalla. Her hand slipped out of my grasp and, try as I might, I could no longer feel her touch. She smiled at me, her face shining brighter than the sun, and I couldn’t help but offer her a small sad smile in return.
“I love you too, Hope,” she whispered, the quiet words barely audible before both she and the distortion disappeared.
For many minutes after she left, I stood in the deafening silence of my office, and felt as though the space had been turned into a vacuum. Drawing air into my lungs was nigh impossible, especially after hearing the last thing that she had said.
I started backing up toward my desk, my vision swimming, but my legs were like lead weights, and they refused to allow me to use them. When the backs of my thighs suddenly touched my desk, I sighed in relief and sunk onto it, the strength seeping out of my muscles like water through a sieve. I stared down at the ground in shock and disbelief, my eyes wide.
Did all of this really just happen? I asked myself.
I knew it was real. She had really been here with me. I had actually kissed her and she had really kissed me back. In fact, I could still hear her voice ringing in my ears, still taste her on my lips. As much as the doubting part of my mind wanted to tell me that it had all just been some elaborate hallucination, I knew the truth.
A soft knock on the door before it slid open shook me out of my scattered thoughts, and I glanced up to see Alyssa staring at me questioningly. “Are you okay, Director?” she asked, hesitantly stepping inside my office. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
Not quite hearing what she said, I met her gaze, my eyes still wide, and took a few moments to answer. I straightened up, the earlier heaviness I had experienced in my legs now thankfully long gone, and smoothed my hands over my uniform jacket, adjusting my tie.
“I’m fine,” I answered, not believing the even tone of my own voice. “Just lost in thought. My exhaustion is catching up with me.”
I went back behind my desk, staring down at my broken coffee cup for a few seconds – more proof that Lightning had indeed been here – and promptly switched my computer screen off. “Was there something you needed, Alyssa?”
“Oh, um,” she began, shifting her feet nervously. “I was just wondering if you wanted to go get something to eat? You look famished.
”My eyes found their way back to the shattered cup and m ybrows twitched ever so slightly. I was fully aware of Alyssa’s crush on me and, as much as I wanted to tell her that pursuing me was a futile endeavor, I didn’t want to upset the working relationship that we shared. I was perfectly fine with pretending I was oblivious to her advances as long as she never tried being a little too bold.
Unfortunately, Alyssa, I prefer my women a little more battle hardened, I thought, fighting the smirk that wanted to turn up the corners of my mouth.
“I was actually just on my way home. It’s been a very long day and I’m tired,” I answered, walking to the door and standing beside it, prompting it to slide open. “Thank you for the invitation though.”
She sighed loudly as she stepped toward the open doorway, unafraid to let her displeasure over my refusal show. “Alright then. Some other time, I guess,” she said, meandering past me and waving. “Sleep well, Director. See you tomorrow.”
I nodded and allowed the door to slide shut, sighing heavily as I rubbed a hand down my face, glad that she hadn’t been adamant about me coming with her. After waiting a few more moments to make sure I wouldn’t run into her in the halls, I walked out of my office and left the Academy building, not surprised to see the dark streets of Academia deserted at such a late hour.
I stuffed my hands into my pockets, bunching my shoulders up to my ears at the slight chill in the air, and quickened my pace. The ghost of a smile made the corners of my lips twitch, my mind consumed with thoughts of Lightning as I replayed our encounter over and over in my head as I walked. Those few short moments with her couldn’t have gone any more perfect. My wish to have the ability to go back in time just to relive that moment had never been stronger.
As soon as I entered my apartment, I quickly undressed and collapsed into bed, wanting nothing more than to see Lightning in my dreams.
For now, I thought as I drifted off to sleep. I’ll find you, somehow.
Prizes:
1st place - 300 Gil - 5 BWP
2nd place – 100 Gil - 3 BWP
3rd place – 50 Gil - 2 BWP
25 Gil and 1 BWP will be granted to anybody who has entered the competition.
But hey, all good!
