Arguing with Friends.

[Davey Gaga]

Different from the Argumentative discussion.

I had a bit of a run-in with one of my friends today, over a matter that's irrelevant to the topic of this thread. I wasn't sure what to say to him, though. I could've either further argued my point and risked causing even MORE tension between us (because we just weren't seeing eye-to-eye and he was being particularly insistant on continuing the argument) or back off and forever let him think I was being a cunt. Either way, it seems as though a fall-out is imminent. <_<

The topic for discussion: what do YOU do when you fall out with friends? Do you keep arguments going to show that YOU'RE right, in hopes of making it better? Do you let the other person win, to avoid a confrontation? Or do you do what I did and block the person from MSN and hope that you can avoid them at school on Monday?

 

[Aztec Triogal]

Well, as most of you know, when I try to handle sensitive situations it usually turns out little better than an armless man trying to catch a live grenade with his tongue. I'm shit at avoiding confrontation so it really depends on the friend I'm arguing with. In most cases, I'm lucky enough to have good friends who are able to get over our disagreement in a fairly short amount of time. When I can't though, I think you just have to let it roll off your back and hope their opinions change in the future.

As long as you made an honest effort to see the other person's perspective and tried to be reasonable, I don't think you can really blame yourself if it doesn't turn out well. I think in most cases, you just have to remember that your friend is more important than the issue you're arguing. If you can't and/or you two do fall out anyhow, time will pass and wounds will heal. Just don't spend that time beating yourself up for it. No matter how hard you try, sometimes you just can't avoid bad situations.

To kind of sum up my thoughts, I think the best person I've known when it comes to confrontations is BustaMo. He is a person who does not let his emotions get the better of him very often. If you ever truly upset him, he will keep his cool, not say anything he will regret, and let enough time pass until the situation has cleared. When he does offend someone, he ignores them for awhile and then swallows his pride and apologizes (even if he does not believe it was truly his fault). It's the best way I've seen to handle these situations. It's not easy but I definitely recommend it. And if you'd like tips on how to appologize if you've said the wrong thing, that's pretty much my department. I'd write tips on it but my hands are cramping something aweful.

 

[KR Skull]

i just go and argue with someone for 16 days and after the end of the 16th day i just leave and forget about it and i don't apologize to that person. everyone in this forum can see that in my thread "the best method". the only time i say sorry to someone is when i feel that i hurted him. and believe me that is one painful feeling. i feel like someone injects a needle in my heart. only when i get that feeling i go and apologize.

 

[Mitsuki]

There is only ever one serious situation where I would say I had a very close fallout with a friend. It was about a few years ago and it was one of those long-distance argument, so we couldn't exactly confront each other face to face. Long story short, I was actually quite hurt that she would say those things about me and my family, but in the end, I sent her a very long e-mail, making sure I showed enough emotions and held the rest back. I kept my cool and although I was pretty angry, those emotions didn't show. I would actually say that if I had confronted her in real-life, it would have been the same. In the end she ended up calling me to apologize, even though I can tell she was a bit embarrassed. She knew she had went overboard and that she was in the wrong, and to make the awkward moment not so awkward, I just laughed it off and told her to forget about it and we started chattering about something else.

I'm not the type to raise my voice at someone despite how angry I am. Sometimes I'll just keep quiet until time settles the matter itself, or wait until that someone apologizes to me. I'm actually quite stubborn when it comes to apologizing, believe it or not, especially if I still stand by what I think is right. That and I always try to watch what I say to someone, especially if they're very sensitive about a lot of things, so I end up not saying things that I would regret and that would require an apology out of me. If someone is in the wrong, most likely they will not hear an apology from me, even if I want the matter to be solved. It used to be that way when I was younger, but time changes a lot of people.

If, however, I know that I did step out of line, then yeah, I am very quick to apologize and would mean it. I'm not afraid to apologize, don't get me wrong. In fact, I know that by apologizing, it shows that yes, you can be the better person sometimes, especially if you're not in the wrong. But that just doesn't apply to me anymore. I'll only apologize if I really feel bad for something I had said to someone and would kick myself over it for a long time.

 

[Kivist]

I had gotten into a few arguments with some of my friends over stuff that could've been solved by talking things over in a mature matter. The problem was that one of them just kept going on and on and on about her relationship with some boy who was a complete jerk to other people including to me and she didn't even cared that he was like that. To be quite honest, I am glad that I don't talk to her anymore. I can't stand being friends with someone who be by her boyfriend's side and not once stand up for her best friend when the boyfriend is being a complete jerk to you. I am to the point were I don't bother to fix relationships with people who end up just ignoring me by not calling me, replying to my emails or don't even show a slight bit of interest in wanting to start all over fresh again.

 

[Misty]

I tend to bitch more with people online rather then I do face to face. I never have serious arguements with friends, haven't done so for years, but online I find it easier to have an arguement with someone who I'll probably never meet in real life.

I'm just very quick to anger, even more so on the net.